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Are you focusing too much on what you’re not doing?

I’m writing this as a reflection on myself, but really hope it helps others too.

I have noticed this dichotomy between how I perceive myself professionally and how others perceive me. I tend to focus more on what I’m not yet doing, rather than what I’m doing. This means I beat myself up very often with feelings of procrastination and not doing everything I “ought” to be doing.

So it surprised me recently when I ran a workshop in London and the host asked me how I managed to “do it all”. It was interesting to hear how she perceived my work, versus how I perceive it, because I didn’t think I did that much at all.

This isn’t the first time I explore this topic, in fact, I wrote this blog about this topic a while ago, called “are you full of should?”.

I would like to invite you as the end of the year draws near, to sit down for a while and reflect on what you have achieved this year.

I did a bit of it recently as I did my accounts, and looking through receipts reminded me of lovely things I’d done through the year and forgotten about.

I like to sit down with my diary and a good cup of coffee, and write down everything I did in the last year.

Lists, bullet point style, don’t really work for me, so writing as it comes, mindmap style, is a better choice for me, especially with lots of different colours.

I’m thinking of doing some kind of collage of special moments pictures too. So I when the “not doing enough” gremlins attack I can look at it and remind myself of what I’ve achieved.

I also keep a file where I copy and paste all the lovely feedback I receive from clients. It’s a very uplifting read on a low day.

I’d love to hear what you do, and how you get on!

In the meantime I am myself permission that it’s ok that I’ve “only” booked my 2018 workshops for January so far.

I have plans for many more for 2018, and I will book them in the new year.

I’ve kind of learnt that although I don’t necessarily book things in advance as much as my inner critic would like me to, I always get things done when the deadline looms, and it’s what matter.

This week I only had a 2 day week as school finished on Tuesday, and I had much to do before starting the holidays.

I gave myself permission to tick less stuff off my to-do list, because they were short of volunteers at the local breastfeeding clinic on Monday, and I wanted to go an deliver cakes to the midwives at my local hospital on Tuesday afternoon, which a Cambridgeshire doulas tradition.

I had to remind myself that doing stuff which feels good, which fills the soul, like giving to others, was going to have more impact on my well-being than ticking stuff off my list.

I guess in this time-pressured time of the year, taking time to do this amounted as self care.

 

I’m looking forward to a time of rest and enjoying the quiet time with my family.

Have a lovely holiday season.

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