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Sophie Messager

Author: Sophie Messager

  • Beyond the High-Ticket Trap: Grow Your Business Without Selling Your Soul

    Beyond the High-Ticket Trap: Grow Your Business Without Selling Your Soul

    You don’t need $10k coaching programs or manipulative marketing to create a sustainable healing business.

    As a holistic professional with 13 years of experience in the self-employed world, I’ve seen my fair share of marketing tactics, the good, the bad, and the downright manipulative. I’m writing this article because I’m fed up. Fed up with unethical, overpriced marketing coaches who prey on vulnerable business owners struggling to make ends meet. I’ve been there, fallen for their promises, and learned the hard way that there’s a better path. 

    When we’re drowning in to-do lists, struggling to balance client care with self-care, and watching our bank accounts with growing anxiety, it’s all too easy to fall prey to the siren song of quick fixes and overnight success promises. The desperation that comes with feeling overwhelmed can cloud your judgement, making those flashy high-ticket coaching programs seem like lifelines rather than potential anchors. 

    The truth I’ve discovered on my own bumpy journey: there’s a better way to grow our heart-centred businesses, one that honours our sensitivity and aligns with our values. I want to share with you why high-ticket coaching often misses the mark for practitioners like us, and how we can find a more authentic path to growing a sustainable business.

    This is my story, my rant, and my plea for a more conscious approach to business coaching. If you’re a sensitive holistic business owner like me, or if you’ve ever felt pressured by high-ticket marketing tactics, this is for you. Let’s pull back the curtain on these manipulative practices and explore what truly ethical marketing looks like.

    I am dedicated to helping other business owners like me connect with their authenticity, and support them towards more authenticity, calm and spaciousness. 

    My Rollercoaster Ride: 13 Years as a Holistic Entrepreneur

    I am 13 years into working as a self employed holistic professional. There have been a lot of ups and downs, both work focus wise and financially. However, I have managed to keep my business afloat despite many twists and turns, including the lockdowns of 2020 forcing me to move all of my in person offerings online (this turned out to be a blessing), changes of business directions, and managing the complex balancing act of running a demanding business and raising two neurodivergent children, as a neurodivergent woman.

    I am a multi-passionate creative woman. I cannot just do one thing in my work or only use one approach, because it is far too boring for me.  I have ADHD (got late diagnosed aged 53) and I thrive on novelty, learning, and exploration. Of course my business has constantly evolved.  I started as a doula, antenatal teacher, and babywearing instructor. Over the years, I learnt a ton of new skills, found myself starting to share these with others, and  moved from teaching parents to teaching birth and holistic professionals. I have taught over 35 different types of courses and workshops, in person and online. I have also published 2 books.

    My journey as a self-employed practitioner has been a rollercoaster of learning experiences, with a lot of joy along the way, and also burnout as an unwelcome frequent visitor. In my first year as a doula, I dove in headfirst, taking on more clients than I could handle. I grossly underestimated the emotional and energetic toll of pouring my heart and soul into supporting new mothers. 

    Fast forward a few years, and there I was again, teetering on the edge of burnout. This time, I found myself caught in the classic entrepreneur’s trap : working myself to the bone, whilst not earning enough, and feeling utterly clueless about how to break the cycle.

    Enter the siren call of high-ticket coaching. You know the type : glossy programs that speak directly to your deepest insecurities, your financial fears, and your desperate desire for a solution. They dangle the carrot of a six-figure income in just a few months, if only you follow their “foolproof” formula. In my overwhelmed, financially stressed state, it seemed like a lifeline. 

    High ticket coaches are the flashy sports cars of the coaching world : all shine and promises, but often lacking in substance. These are the folks who charge eye-watering amounts for their programs, thousands or even tens of thousands of pounds. They market themselves as the crème de la crème, the only solution to your business woes. Their sales pitches are slick, promising rapid transformations and six-figure incomes in mere months. 

    The high price tag often has more to do with clever marketing than actual value. These coaches prey on your desperation, your dreams, and yes, even your trauma. They use high-pressure tactics, false scarcity, and grandiose promises to convince you that their overpriced program is the magic bullet you need. But remember, in the world of coaching, a higher price doesn’t necessarily mean better results, it just means a bigger dent in your bank account.

    When I hired one of these high-ticket coaches, a little voice in my head whispered that this coach wasn’t aligned with my values. But desperation has a way of drowning out intuition. So I dove in, working with this coach for several intense months.

    On the surface, it seemed to be working : my visibility increased, and I was ‘putting myself out there’. But beneath that veneer of progress, the cracks were starting to show. My overwhelm skyrocketed. What I didn’t realise then (but know now) was that I’m neurodivergent (Neurodivergent people often get more easily overwhelmed than neurotypical ones), which added an extra layer of challenge to an already unsustainable situation.

    I’ve always been the type to set sky-high expectations for myself. It’s like I have an internal taskmaster that never sleeps, constantly pushing for more. Working with this coach amplified that inner critic, increasing the pressure I was already putting on myself.

    When I look back (hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn’t it?), I can see that it was unethical that this coach never once asked about my life outside of business. How many hours could I realistically dedicate to the program? What other commitments was I juggling? What was my personal situation? And crucially, how long would it actually take to implement all their ‘foolproof’ strategies? These questions were never even on the table.

    Instead, I was handed a social media schedule that would make even the most seasoned influencer break out in sweat. It was like being asked to run a marathon when I was already gasping for air. The guilt started creeping in : every time I couldn’t tick off all the boxes on the coach’s to-do list, I felt like I was failing. 

    The marketing tactics promoted also involved manipulation. I didn’t know this yet, but this is deeply harmful for heart centred solopreneurs, because it destroys trust (more on that later).

    What had started as a lifeline was quickly becoming an anchor, dragging me deeper into the overwhelm I was desperately trying to escape.

    The aftermath of my high-ticket coaching experience wasn’t pretty. It took two solid years and the guidance of a more holistic marketing coach to unravel the pressure, stress, guilt, and misalignment that had tangled up my business and my mind. 

    Thankfully, the story takes a turn for the better.

    Finding ethical coaches

    I first discovered Leonie Dawson’s courses when I decided to launch my first online course and had no idea where to start. What drew me in wasn’t just the practical business advice, it was her philosophy, and infectious, sweary, honest energy. Leonie has built a multi-million business entirely on her own terms, and she does it without manipulation, without false scarcity, and without making people feel bad about themselves in order to sell to them.

    She was the first person who really helped me overcome impostor syndrome, because her approach was disarmingly simple: share what you already know. Not what you think you should know, not what you imagine an expert looks like, but the actual knowledge and experience you already carry. That reframe changed everything for me.

    Her definition of marketing has stayed with me since. For Leonie it is not about clever funnels or pressure tactics. It is, in her words, about hearts connecting: showing up to radiate your light so that the people who need what you offer can find you. That is ethical selling in its simplest and most honest form. Making yourself visible to the people you are genuinely here to serve.

    Oh and her courses are incredibly affordable too, and she has an affiliate system which means that I earn more than I pay her to be a member of her academy.

    Remember, my loves, selling from the heart isn’t just about making money – it’s about creating change, building relationships, and staying true to yourself. Leonie Dawson

    I’m sharing my journey : the good, the bad, and the expensive, because I want you to know that there’s hope. Truly conscious, ethical marketing mentors exist, and they’re not hiding behind a paywall that requires a second mortgage to access. They’re out there, offering genuine value without breaking the bank.

    A few years down the line, I stumbled upon another marketing mentor (inside one of Leonie’s groups actually), George Kao, who also felt like a breath of fresh air in the overpriced world of business coaching. George was truly ethical, authentic to their core, and completely aligned with my values as a holistic practitioner. His courses were also extremely affordable. I stayed in George’s mastermind group for 3 years, and I had an education. George was the first person to teach me how to market in a way that didn’t feel yucky. Until I worked with him, I hadn’t understood that marketing, as long as it doesn’t involved manipulation, is simply an act of service. After I started working with him, I shared upfront in my free workshops that I was going to share about a paid product in the workshop, and if felt transparent and non pushy, so I no longer cringed when I came to the moment of sharing said paid product.

    My experience taught me a valuable lesson: in the world of marketing mentors, the most expensive option isn’t always the best. I remember Leonie Dawson blowing my mind when she said that courses that cost $1000 aren’t better than the ones that cost $100, it’s just a marketing choice. Until then, I had assumed that more money = more value. But sometimes, the most valuable guidance comes at a price that respects both your budget and your values. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and tempted by those flashy high-ticket offers, take a deep breath. There’s another way, and I’m living proof that it works.

    When Desperation Meets Manipulation: The High-Ticket Trap

    A few years ago, I dipped my toes into the world of impostor syndrome mentoring. What I discovered was both eye-opening and heartbreaking. Many of the women I spoke with had their own horror stories about high-ticket coaches. These weren’t just anecdotes; they were tales of new business owners plunging into debt, chasing the promise of success.

    Despite the hefty price tags, these women got very little in return. Why? Because these programs were often overcrowded calls masquerading as personalised coaching. There was simply no room for the individual attention these budding solopreneurs desperately needed.

    Let’s break down why high-ticket programs often fall flat:

    • 1) No  one can promise you results. Consuming a course is easy. But digesting and applying what you have learned is the real work.
    • 2) Expensive, famous coaches often subcontract their group programs to other, less experienced coaches. You sign up thinking you’ll be learning from the master herself, only to find out you’ve been pawned off to a junior coach who’s barely a step ahead of you.
    • 3) Masterminds from famous people are often run in huge groups where you have very little access to the coach, and therefore time to ask questions or get the individualised help you need..
    • 4) Many of these coaches aren’t really interested in your success. They’re interested in your wallet. You’re not a person to nurture; you’re a lead to convert into their next high-ticket offer. (George Kao has shared that he sometimes poses as a potential customer for famous high ticket coaches, and that they never even find out that he is one of their competitors, because they aren’t interested in knowing him as a person, only to sell to him).

    The bottom line? These high-ticket programs often leave you feeling more like an impostor than ever, with a maxed-out credit card to boot. It’s a painful lesson that many learn the hard way.

    The high ticket coach I worked with told me that “my client’s financial situation wasn’t my problem“. Contrast this with the fact that the ethical marketing coaches I have worked with since have all asked me if I could afford their programme without hardship before I signed up….

    Whatever your situation, as a business owner, income is likely to be a priority for you. If it’s the only priority, that’s when we run into trouble. That’s where we see businesses that prioritise profits before people and we all know how that goes. As conscious business owners, only focusing on money isn’t enough of a driver for us, so it would be unsustainable over the long term if this was our only priority.  Caroline Leon

    The Siren Song of Six-Figure Promises: My Brush with High-Ticket Marketing

    Despite my first bad experience, the scary thing is, I nearly got stung again!

    A few years ago I attended a free all day workshop in a posh London hotel, a day supposedly designed to teach us how to market ourselves better, led by a famous, well established marketing coach. What actually happened is that there was no real useful info given throughout the day. It was just designed to sell us a very expensive group program. The cost of the year long group program was £1000 a month, with a 12 month contract you could not get out of. 

    I very nearly signed up despite the eye watering cost, because the woman running the program was so good at promising results. Thankfully something stopped me.

    The last couple of years, I was in a small conscious marketing group mastermind run by Caroline Leon. There were only 20 people in the program, and I paid £115  a month for it. I loved this group because it connected me with like minded people and kept me accountable, and it also felt doable and not overwhelming. In fact, I am still co-working with two women I met in this group on a weekly basis.

    In this group I met a mindset coach called Betty Cottam Bertels. Betty introduced me to another ethical marketing mentor called Tag Hargrave, who runs a business called Marketing for hippies. I joined Betty on a day-long workshop in London with Tad 2 years ago, one that he runs on a “pay what you can afford” basis. 

    Betty introduced Tad’s workshop by telling her story of having signed up to a very expensive business coaching program, only to become really disillusioned when she realised that she had no access to the front woman: instead the course was facilitated by sub-contracted coaches with less experience who did not fit her needs.

    When I asked her which program this was, it turned out to be the very one I had nearly signed up for. I felt like I had a very lucky escape.

    Trauma-Targeted Marketing: The Uncomfortable Truth

    High-ticket coaches often sell to your trauma. Why? Because it works. They know that when you’re feeling vulnerable, stressed, and desperate for change, you’re more likely to reach for what seems like a lifeline – even if it comes with a huge price tag. They use language that triggers your pain points, promising to solve all your problems if only you invest in their “exclusive” program. It’s manipulative, it’s unethical, and it’s downright harmful. These coaches aren’t interested in your healing; they’re interested in your wallet. They exploit your past hurts and current struggles to make you feel like their overpriced program is the only solution. But here’s the truth: real healing and business growth don’t come from a magic bullet solution. They come from consistent effort, genuine support, and ethical practices that honour your journey, not exploit it.

    As George Kao explains in this blog post:

    Sadly, much of the persuasion psychology being used (and taught) in marketing – the stoking of fear, uncertainty, doubt (FUD) – “works” on people with traumatic backgrounds… because they’ve invested so much in the guru’s advice, they might experience the sunk cost fallacy. “The teacher must know better than me… otherwise, they couldn’t charge so much money. I should’ve succeeded like them by now.” George Kao

    George also explains that setting yourself small, achievable goals, builds up your confidence, whereas setting sky high unachievable one has the opposite effect.

    If you’re running a heart-centred holistic business, listen up: those manipulative, salesy tactics might seem tempting when you’re desperate for clients, but they’re damaging for your business’s long-term health. They erode the very foundation of what makes your work special :  trust.

    Your clients come to you for healing, for support, for a safe space. The moment you start using pushy sales tactics, you’re betraying that trust. It’s like offering a warm hug with one hand and a sales pitch with the other. It just doesn’t work.

    These aggressive marketing strategies aren’t just misaligned with your business – they’re misaligned with your soul. They go against everything you stand for, everything that made you choose this beautiful, challenging path of holistic care in the first place.

    George Kao calls these strategies “marketing to the lizard brain” and explains why it feels misaligned, why it harms your business, and even society as a whole:

    By inciting the people’s lizard brain, marketers (and politicians) do in fact gain more control over their audience in the short-term. It’s power-over others, rather than empowerment of others.  George Kao

    But here’s the good news: there’s another way. A way that’s as authentic as your most heartfelt client session. A way that’s as true as your commitment to healing and growth.

    This path might not promise overnight success or six-figure months, but it promises something far more valuable: a business that’s a true extension of your healing work. A business that attracts clients who resonate with your authentic self, not a manufactured marketing persona.

    So, take a deep breath. Release the pressure to conform to aggressive marketing tactics. Your business can thrive without compromising your values. In fact, it will thrive because you’re honouring those values. And that, my fellow holistic practitioner, is the true path to long-term success and fulfilment.

    Having worked with authentic marketing coaches for 4 years, I can see manipulative tactics from a mile. And I truly believe that these tactics belong to the past. That they, and the people who use them, are dinosaurs, destined to become extinct.

    In this article, George Kao lists and explains which marketing techniques to avoid in your heart centred business.

    The Ethical Marketing Oasis: Finding Genuine Mentors

    Finding my first ethical marketing mentor felt like stumbling upon an oasis in a desert of manipulation. Such people are out there, and working with them is a game-changer. These are the folks who genuinely care about your success, not just their bank balance. They’re transparent about their methods, clear about their pricing, and they won’t promise you the moon and stars overnight. Instead, they offer real, actionable advice that aligns with your values as a heart-centred business owner. 

    They give away tons of value for free or at low cost, because their goal is to serve, not just to sell. When you find these gems, it’s like a weight lifts off your shoulders. Suddenly, marketing doesn’t feel icky anymore. You’re not compromising your integrity for success. You’re growing your business in a way that feels authentic and sustainable. And the best part? These ethical mentors often charge a fraction of what the high-ticket gurus do.

    Working with ethical coaches has been like a breath of fresh air for my business – and my sanity. Instead of feeling pressured and overwhelmed, I’ve found myself actually enjoying the process of growing my business. These genuine mentors have helped me tap into my authentic voice, allowing me to market my services in a way that feels aligned with my values as a holistic practitioner. I’m no longer trying to squeeze myself into a one-size-fits-all marketing mould that leaves me feeling yucky.

    The impact? My business has grown organically, attracting clients who resonate with my authentic approach. I’m earning more whilst working less hours, without burning out or compromising my integrity. But more than that, I’ve regained my confidence and joy in my work. These ethical coaches have shown me that it’s possible to be successful without resorting to manipulative tactics. They’ve given me practical, sustainable strategies that I can implement at my own pace, respecting my neurodivergent needs and my commitment to my family.

    The best part? I’m not just learning how to market better – I’m learning how to build a business that truly reflects who I am and the change I want to see in the world. 

    The Ethical Marketing Checklist: What to Look For in a Coach/Mentor

    Having worked with 3 different ethical marketing coaches here are the things I have found they have in common:

    • Transparency & authenticity: They are clear about their methods, pricing, and expected outcomes, and open about their own qualifications and experience.  They never make over inflated promises or guarantees. 
    • Ethical practises: They avoid manipulative of deceptive tactics, such as time pressure (buy it now for X or it will never be available again), or fake inflated prices (“sign up now and get this (fake) bonuses priced at thousand of pounds/dollars) They promote truthful and accurate marketing messages. 
    • Client centred: They focus on supporting their audience and clients, not just what’s profitable. You can feel it in their presence and writing: serving is their overarching goal.
    • They are value-driven: They emphasise creating genuine value for customers, and encourages sustainable, long-term growth over quick wins
    • Nurture: they nurture their audience by giving away valuable content on their website, their social media channels, low cost offers, books etc. They give away so much that if you are able to keep yourself accountable on your own, you could learn enough to transform your business from their free or low cost content alone. Most of their social media posts are about this nurturing, with the odd course/workshop offer in between.
    • (Note: This is in stark contrast to high ticket coaches. I have found that these never give away anything of value unless you buy their course. They are masters in the art of running “free” webinars, workshops or challenges, where they talk about their success and clients’ success stories, whilst never telling you how to do it. It is purely a promotion exercise. Their social media is not about nurturing it’s about selling.)
    • Holistic Perspective: They consider the impact of their marketing strategies on society. They encourages socially responsible marketing practices
    • Ethical Pricing: They charge fair prices for their services and are transparent about costs. Ethical pricing really boils down to: 1) Can you earn enough to make your business sustainable from it? and 2) Can the people buying your course afford to do this without hardship, and recoup the cost of your course within about 6 months? 

    Ethical and accessible pricing is super important to me. So much so that I get told regularly that I don’t charge enough for what I offer. I love it when that happens because that’s actually one of my primary goals with everything I create — to give tons of value for the most affordable price possible. Caroline Leon (read Caroline’s article about this here)

    The Principles of Ethical/Conscious Businesses

    When we change the way we do business, we change the world. Caroline Leon

    A conscious business owner, according to Caroline Leon :

    • Operates with integrity and knows that how we sell matters.
    • Wants her business to be a force for good and knows that how we do business is a key part of that.
    • Puts the needs of the customer above the goal of making the sale and is willing to turn down a sale when it’s clear that what she is offering is not a good fit for the buyer.
    • Prioritises the cultivation of trust and connection between herself and her audience.
    • Rejects the use of manipulative marketing tactics to pressure her audience into buying.
    • Constantly seeks to ensure her products and services are of real value to her audience.
    • Makes positive impact the goal of everything she creates.
    • Is completely transparent when selling and uses no tricks or gimmicks to hide that fact. Instead simply presenting what’s on offer in a clear and honest way.
    • Works towards sustainability because she knows that an unsustainable business in the long term helps no-one.

    The 8 practises of authentic business by George Kao:

    1. Joyful Productivity: the ability to consistently work in a focused and joyful way. Balancing rest and action, with a spirit of playfulness throughout.
    2. Healthy Money Habits: It is important to become aware of our inner relationship to money (our thoughts and emotions) and our persistent behaviours with regards to money.
    3. Authentic Content: The habit of creating content will help you to keep exploring your core message and strengthening your authentic voice.
    4. Paid Content Distribution: If you’re not using paid ads of some kind, you are holding yourself back from reaching the thousands of people who need your message and voice.
    5. Collaborations: Seek out collaborations because it’s a good way to grow an aligned audience. Good collaborations create a lot more benefit than the effort takes
    6. Audience Research: When you have a product that is well-matched to someone’s wants, the thing almost sells itself. Neglect this and you may well be building the wrong audience.
    7. Rhythm of Gentle Launches: Start a routine of “making offers”, in other words, letting your audience know about your products and services.
    8. Mastery of Your Craft: The most grounded way to excel in one’s work is to notice the impact your work is making on your clients, and then make adjustments based on those observations.

    Affordable Wisdom: Ethical Business Coaches Who Won’t Break the Bank

    Check their website/social media channels and see if you resonate with their approach. All of them offer tons of free content, as well as low cost workshops/courses, which can help you to see if they are a fit without investing big amounts of time or money.

    Read my previous articles about what I learnt by working with George and Caroline below:

    Most entrepreneurs I know feel torn between either doing marketing that feels good (but doesn’t work) or marketing that works (but doesn’t feel good). I am suggesting that there’s a way to approach marketing that actually works better than the pushy and manipulative approaches you hate and that feels genuinely good to all involved. Tad Hargraves

    Conclusion

    The journey from overwhelm to authentic marketing isn’t always easy, but it’s infinitely more rewarding than falling prey to high-ticket, manipulative coaches. As conscious business owners, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our clients to seek out and support ethical marketing practices. 

    Remember, high pricing is never proof of higher value : it’s simply a marketing choice. There are brilliant, ethical marketing mentors out there who offer incredible value at accessible prices. They prioritise your growth over their profit, and they understand that true success comes from alignment with your values, not just your bank balance.

    I hope my story and insights help you navigate the sometimes murky waters of business coaching. Trust your intuition, seek out mentors who resonate with your values, and never compromise your integrity for the promise of quick success. 

    I believe that we can create a new paradigm of ethical, heart-centred marketing that serves both our businesses and our souls. After all, isn’t that why we started our holistic businesses in the first place?

    I’d love to hear how reading this article felt for you, simply comment below.

  • How to choose your first drum

    How to choose your first drum

    If you’ve been thinking about getting your own drum and don’t know where to start, this is for you.

    There is a lot of choice out there, and some of it is genuinely confusing. There are also some real pitfalls worth knowing about before you spend any money. In this article I want to walk you through everything I know, from a ÂŁ40 second-hand find to a handmade custom drum, so you can make a decision that feels right for you.

    What is a frame/shamanic style drum?

    The type of drums I use are frame drums, one of the oldest known musical instruments, found across many cultures worldwide and used in spiritual and ceremonial contexts. They are sometimes called shamanic drums.

    A frame drum is a simple percussion instrument: a round wooden frame, typically 2 to 4 inches deep, with a single drumhead stretched over one side. The drumhead is traditionally made from animal skin (hide), though synthetic materials are also used. Frame drums produce a warm, resonant tone with a wide range of sounds, from deep booms to higher tones.

    In my work I use frame drums with a handle at the back, played by striking the drumhead with a padded beater.

    Size matters

    Whatever drum you choose, the bigger the drum, the deeper the sound. I recommend starting with something between 14 and 16 inches in diameter. Smaller drums tend to sound high-pitched and tinny; really large drums (20 inches and above) have a beautiful deep resonance but can be unwieldy to hold and carry.

    The two main types: synthetic vs. skin

    Synthetic drums

    Synthetic drums use a plastic or composite drumhead rather than animal hide. The main brand I use and recommend is Remo, specifically the Remo Buffalo drum (16 inches, off-white head) and the Remo Bahia Bass Buffalo drum (16 inches, black head, deeper and more muted sound). These are factory-made, and while all drums have their own spirit, I find synthetic drums carry a little less of that quality than handmade skin drums.

    Advantages:

    • Reliable, consistent sound (from reputable brands, see the warning below)
    • Completely weatherproof, unaffected by cold, moisture or temperature
    • Ideal if you play outdoors, especially in the UK climate! I’ve taken mine into sweat lodges and saunas
    • Great for people who prefer not to use animal products
    • More affordable : a Remo Buffalo 16″ drum costs around ÂŁ115

    Disadvantages:

    • Factory-made, less individual spirit and energy than a handmade drum

    You can listen to sound samples of Remo drums on the Thomann website before buying.

    Skin drums

    I own over 30 drums, eight of which I made myself in drum-birthing workshops or by myself. The rest I bought or received as gifts.

    Advantages:

    • Unique, individual, handmade, no two are the same
    • Each carries its own spirit and energy, shaped by the hide, the wood and the maker’s hands
    • Different animal hides and wood hoops each carry their own spiritual properties, choose what speaks to you
    • Can be bought ready-made, custom-made, or made by your own hands (and you can personalise with symbols, drawings, paintings, crystals…)

    Disadvantages:

    • Quality varies considerably, and there are fakes (more on that below)
    • Sensitive to weather, moisture and temperature. They need warming up in cold weather, can become unplayable in hot and humid weather, and cannot be played in the rain
    • Can be damaged by extreme heat (never leave one in a hot car)
    • Tend to be more expensive: typically ÂŁ150 to ÂŁ300 or more

    Skin drum makers whose work I personally know and trust:

    I recommend these people because I know their work in person and own drums from them. This does not mean that it is by any means an exhaustive list! Ask in drumming communities (there are many Facebook groups, and you are welcome to join the one I run for women) for local recommendations, there are many wonderful drum makers around, and word of mouth is the best guide.

    Drum options by budget

    Whether you’re just starting out or looking to upgrade, here’s a simple guide depending on what you want to spend.

    Around £40–£80 A second-hand Irish Bodhran (good brands such as Malachy Kearns or Waltons) on Facebook Marketplace or eBay. A bodhran is not officially a shamanic drum, but it works beautifully for this purpose. This is probably my best kept secret tip for beginners.

    A note about drum beaters

    Bodhrans usually comes with a small wooden stick (called a tipper), and you’ll want a soft beater instead. Beaters are easy to make yourself with a foraged stick, some stuffing and a pair of socks wrapped around the stick and stuffing.

    If you’d like to buy a beater for your drum (regardless of whether it is a Bodhran or another type of drum), here are a couple of recommendations:

    • Spiritcraft makes beautiful and affordable beaters (and also stunning and unusual rattles), and they have kindly offered a 10% discount to my reader with the code SOPHIE10.
    • Another UK beater maker I love, Vicki Yates, makes unusual and beautiful beaters using honeysuckle wood, crystals, and feathers. Vicki is offering a generous 15% discount using the code MESSAGER15%

    Around £100–£120

    • A Remo Buffalo drum (synthetic, excellent quality, very reliable) in either the off-white version or the Bahia Bass version (black, deeper pitch, more muted tone)
    • Some handmade UK drums on Etsy can be found at this price point and still be genuinely good. Always ask for a sound sample before buying, any reputable seller will be happy to provide one

    £150–£300

    • A handmade shamanic drum, either ready-made or custom-made to your specifications
    • A drum-making kit from a drum maker, to make your own at home (usually comes with instruction videos)
    • Or, for the ultimate experience, attend a drum-making workshop and make your drum with the guidance of a skilled teacher. This drum will carry your own medicine and the intention you bring to it

    For ready-made drums, custom drums and drum-making workshops in the UK, I recommend Melonie Syrett (thedrumwoman.com) and Rachael Crow (rachaelcrow.co.uk). For other makers, ask locally or in online drumming groups for recommendations.

    Size matters

    The bigger the drum, the deeper the sound. Very small drums tend to have high pitched, tinny sound which isn’t very pleasant to hear.

    At a base recommendation, I find that a drum of about 14 to 16 inches diameter is a good size. You can find drums as small as 6 inches and I once found a drum in a music shop that was 30 inches in diameter.

    I have some smaller drums to travel with, 10 inches in diameter, and some up to 18 inches, but most of my drums are 16 inches.

    For drumming over a person (in therapeutic or ceremonial work), make sure you choose a drum with a handle at the back, as well as one that isn’t too big or heavy (I have learnt this the hard way!), as this makes it much easier to hold.

    What to avoid

    Quality really matters with drums. If at all possible, listen to the sound before you buy, either in person or by asking for a sound recording.

    There are many cheap drums on Amazon and similar platforms that look appealing but sound terrible and won’t last. And unfortunately, there are outright fakes: cheap Chinese-made copies of real artisan drums, often sold for around ÂŁ30 via Facebook ads or marketplace, eBay Amazon, or Vinted. The people making these drums steal photographs from real artists and use them to pretend to sell the real thing, but it really is a tiny plastic drum with a picture printed on it that bears no resemblance to the real thing. A friend of mine ordered one and received a drum about the size of my hand, with the printed image already peeling off. You can find such copies of Veleslav Voron’s distinctive Ukrainian drums selling for under ÂŁ10 on Aliexpress.

    As always: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Get recommendations, seek out trusted drum makers, and ask for a sound sample before you buy.

    If this helped you find your drum, I’d love to know what you ended up with. Share it in the comments below, or come and tell us in the Women Drumkeepers Community on Facebook.

    And if you’d like to go deeper into how drumming can support your wellbeing, my book The Beat of Your Own Drum is a good place to start. There’s a free sample chapter at the link, and the kindle version is only ÂŁ5.49 if you want to dip in gently.

    If you’d like to find out more about my work, from one-to-one sessions to healing, drum circles, workshops and courses, you can explore everything on this page, or simply contact me. 

    Happy drumming. 🥁

  • Why I’m no longer interested in aging placentas

    Why I’m no longer interested in aging placentas

    7 years ago I wrote one of my most popular blog posts: The Myth of the aging placenta, a lengthy article designed to support parents and birth professionals in understanding that the mainstream view that placentas “age” and stop functioning at the end of pregnancy isn’t based on logic or solid evidence. 

    Recently I was asked to be interviewed about this topic, something I’ve done a lot in the past. But when I listened to my body, it was a very clear no. 

    How I got there

    I want to explain why I’ve moved on from this, and other topics.

    4 years ago I stopped working as a doula. If you want to understand why I did that, you can read this article I wrote at the time.

    After I stopped doula work, I was in a weird limbo for some time, and eventually something else showed itself, which led to the writing of my second book, The beat of your own drum.

    As I stepped away from birth work, I started to see the landscape more clearly for what it was, because it isn’t always easy to see the water you swim in. I remember the realisation that, contrary to what I had been believing, the maternity care system wasn’t broken at all: it was functioning exactly like it was designed to function, to control women. That was a hard moment for me.

    And then, after I navigated supporting my youngest child’s inability to function within mainstream education and the battle that ensued to get them the support they needed, it became clear that the pattern of control was not confined to maternity care: it was also there in the way we are told to parent, in childcare, in education, in healthcare, in the workplace, in politics…it was everywhere. And at every point it was designed to make people, and especially women, do as they are told, and never question things.

    In the introduction of my The beat of your own drum, I wrote this:

    “Since stepping away from doula work a couple of years ago, I’ve come to the stark realisation that not only is the current maternity care system beyond repair, but that the thread of disempowerment weaves through every stage of a woman’s life. Its pervasive narrative that begins in infancy, winds its way through our experiences of parenting, education and careers. This insidious message – that we are somehow ignorant of our own needs and should defer to those who ‘know better’ – isn’t confined to any one sphere. It permeates politics, the medical and education world and is woven into the very fabric of our society. From the moment we’re born, we’re subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) taught to doubt our own instincts, to question our inner wisdom. It’s as if society has conspired to whisper in our ears, “You don’t know what’s best for you.” This message echoes in the halls of schools, reverberates in workplaces and finds its way into the most intimate moments of our lives.

    The result? A deep-seated, often unconscious belief that our own knowledge– especially when it comes to our bodies, our choices, our lives – is somehow inferior to the ‘experts’. This belief chips away at our autonomy, erodes our confidence in our own experiences and intuition. And it’s a belief that I’ve come to recognise as not just false, but deeply harmful to the wellbeing and empowerment of women everywhere.”

    It was never about the science

    And so this is why I’m no longer interested in debating the science behind whether placentas age or not-because it’s looking at the wrong problem. It’s a distraction. 

    As a doula, I always cautioned my clients against trying to argue their decisions by bringing scientific papers to meetings  with healthcare professionals. Not because the papers were wrong, but because it was the wrong dynamic. They didn’t have to justify their decisions. And the health professionals would almost never be convinced by the papers anyway; they would just look for holes in the argument.

    This is the same thing. Picking apart the science behind specific policies misses the point entirely. The same is true of debating the science behind ANY hospital policy. The main issue is control. You cannot oppose control by arguing with logic.

    A system built on control isn’t interested in engaging in self introspection, it is only interested in doing what it’s designed to do: to manage women’s behaviour, under the false pretence of risk management. As Jane Hardwicke Collings says: modern maternity care is “Institutionalised acts of abuse and violence on women and babies masquerading as safety”.

    In my 15 years in the birth world (I started training as an antenatal teacher and doula in 2008), it took me a good few years to understand that the people working within the system were victims of it too. As a scientist, I was flabbergasted when I encountered time and time again the lack of scientific curiosity in maternity care professionals. This was until I realised that the people who worked inside the system were actively discouraged from engaging in curiosity. It worked like a medieval church. Employees were expected to follow guidelines and hospital policies like if they were gospel. And if they engaged in questioning guidelines overtly, they were usually punished, or removed altogether.

    So what can we do instead of arguing tiny details with authority figures who aren’t interested in questioning things? We focus on what we can control: ourselves and our power, which resides in our ability to listen to our inner wisdom.

    We have spent a lifetime being taught to distrust ourselves. To defer to the expert, the system. Unlearning that is not a small thing. So how do we begin? 

    Sophie drum Ali

    Enters the drum

    This is where working with the drum offers a new way of being. I started drumming during births, instinctively, because something in me told me this would help women. Then the women for whom I had drummed all told me the drumming not only helped them manage the sensations of labour better, every single one of them told me it gave them their power back. You can download a PDF of the article I wrote about this in the International Journal of Birth and Parenting Education here.

    Whilst writing my book I realised that birth was meant to be an altered state of consciousness, and that the reason modern maternity care actively prevents this from happening is because it’s very hard to control women who have experienced this. I explain this in greater details in my article, Forbidden trance, why medicine hijacks altered consciousness during birth.

    You might think: What’s has such a hippy thing as a drum got to do with managin the pain of birth, or to do with power? You might even scoff. I get it, because I too, used to think it was bullshit. And yet the scientific evidence behind how drumming changes our brain, our physiology, our emotional wellbeing is so overwhelming that I had to write not one but two chapters solely dedicated to the science of drumming in my book, and I’m currently in the process of doing some research on how drumming supports women’s wellbeing with Prof Joyce Harper of UCL London.

    Beyond birth, drumming offers something that most of us urgently need: a direct route back to our own inner voice.

    Here is why it works: most of us live in our heads. We overthink, second-guess, and talk ourselves out of what we already know. Drumming shifts that. Within minutes it can move us from an overactive thinking state into a meditative state where the noise settles and the inner voice becomes audible again. And the beauty is that you don’t even have to believe in it for it to work.

    This isn’t mystical. It’s how rhythm works on the nervous system, by entraining brain waves. This was already known in the 1960s. And it means that something ancient and simple can do what years of conditioning have made very difficult: help us trust ourselves again.

    What I do now

    My work has shifted. Where I once supported women through birth as a rite of passage, I hold a broader vision.

    We are living in a time of profound imbalance. The world is burning, literally and metaphorically, because we have become so disconnected from nature, from community, from ourselves. We can no longer function within the patriarchal model our society is built on.

    I believe that helping women find their way back to their own inner voice is not a small thing. It is a path toward a different world.

    Drumming works like psychedelics, opening and rewiring the mind to a completely new way of thinking and seeing. And yet, it is legal, affordable, accessible, and the system has no fucking clue how dangerous it is. And I don’t think it will for many years.

    It is dangerous because women who enter altered states of consciousness, access their inner voice and their power, and it makes them very difficult to control. People who experience these things do not do as they are told. They question things. 

    When women start drumming, and listening to the voice deep within, they can also imagine a new world, outside of the current system.

    A world where belonging matters more than productivity. Where community is not optional but foundational. Where peace, nurturing, and mutual support are not ideals we aspire to but values to live by.

    The drum is one of the oldest tools we have for this. It bypasses the thinking mind and speaks directly to something older in us. Something that remembers. When a woman picks up a drum and begins to play, she is not just making a sound. She is finding her voice, her rhythm, her power. She no longer needs someone to tell her what to do . She no longer abdicates authority. And it creates a ripple effect that attracts other women to do the same.

    That is why I do this work. And that is why it matters now.

    An invitation 

    I have started a movement called Women drumming for peace. It happens every Sunday night at 8PM UK time. You can just join by intending to, or if you want more direct connection, I hold 10 minutes of live stream for this in my Facebook group, The Women Drumkeepers Community.

  • Women drumming for peace

    Women drumming for peace

    Whilst setting up for my last drum circle, something happened.

    A voice inside told me, clearly and simply: start a worldwide movement of women drumming for peace.

    I’ve learned to listen to those voices. So I’m doing exactly that.

    What is Women Drumming for Peace?

    Every Sunday at 8pm UK time, I go live in the Women Drumkeepers Community Facebook group to drum together, intuitively, simply, with one shared intention: peace.

    Five minutes. That’s all. No experience needed, no particular skill or technique. Just a drum, a willing heart, and the knowledge that women across the world are drumming alongside you in that same moment.

    Then we sing a song.

    Afterwards, I invite everyone to share their experience in the comments. Because what happens when we drum with intention is worth talking about.

    Two ways to join

    Drum from wherever you are: at 8pm UK time, pick up your drum and play. You might be in your living room, your garden, your studio. It doesn’t matter. The intention travels.

    Join me live : come and find me in the Women Drumkeepers Community Facebook group, where I’ll be streaming live every Sunday at 8pm UK.

    What time is that for you?

    🌍 Europe: London 8pm · Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin 9pm · Athens, Cairo 10pm

    🌎 Americas: New York, Toronto 3pm · Chicago 2pm · Denver 1pm · Los Angeles, Vancouver 12pm · São Paulo & Buenos Aires 4pm

    🌍 Africa: Cape Town, Johannesburg, Lagos 9pm · Nairobi 10pm

    🌏 Middle East & Asia: Dubai 11pm · India 12:30am Mon · Bangkok 2am Mon · Hong Kong, Singapore 3am Mon

    🌏 Oceania: Sydney 6am Mon · Auckland 8am Mon

    If the live time doesn’t work for you, you are warmly invited to drum at your own 8pm, wherever you are in the world. The intention travels. 🌍

    Why I believe this could change the world

    There is something that happens when women drum together with intention. Something that goes beyond rhythm, beyond sound, beyond what we can explain. A coherence. A field. A grid. A prayer that the body makes before the mind has found the words.

    Peace is not something that happens to us. It’s something we cultivate, in ourselves, in our communities, in the world. And I believe that five minutes of women drumming together, every week, from every corner of the globe, is not a small thing.

    It’s a beginning.

    Women Drumming for Peace happens every Sunday at 8pm UK time. Come and find us in the Women Drumkeepers Community

  • You don’t need permission: why wrapped in rhythm is touching something women didn’t know they were missing.

    You don’t need permission: why wrapped in rhythm is touching something women didn’t know they were missing.

    What if you already knew how to do this?

    Last November, when I decided to create a new healing ritual, blending rebozo wrapping (closing the bones style) and intuitive drum healing, I knew I was taking a gamble, but I never expected it to prove so popular.

    I ran a fully booked taster workshop last month, and my first ever teaching workshop was also fully booked with a waiting list. Women are asking me when I’m doing it again AND also asking when I’m going to be offering an online version of this training.

    Honestly I was really surprised by how popular this has been. I think I’m beginning to understand why this is resonating so deeply. And it has everything to do with permission, intuition, and breaking away from patriarchal ways of doing things.

    How I got here

    I decided to create this hybrid modality after teaching closing the bones for over 12 years, when I facilitated a workshop with this modality, without prior training, for 55 women at the convention of women drummers. There not only did I witness how powerful it was, but I lost count of how many women approached me afterwards saying it was life changing.

    I had already been handing drums to my closing the bones students for over 3 years, but I hadn’t yet not making the drum as important as the wrapping. When I last taught the closing the bones workshop in its previous inception to a group of doulas last November (with the rocking, the massage and the wrapping), one thing became clear: I needed to simplify things and make more room for the drumming.

    Four years ago, whilst training with Mexican midwife Naoli Vinaver, I had already become aware that wrapping what powerful in its own right, especially as I took this training whilst undergoing a mental health crisis. You can read about that here and the amazing effect of sharing this with my community here.

    Since the launch of my book, The Beat of Your Own Drum, and through teaching women about drumming and about ritual, one thread has become very clear: I want to offer something easy, simple and accessible to everyone. Something that is away from rules and rigid ways of practising. Something that doesn’t require years of training, but rather makes space for each person to do it from intuition, and with what works for them.

    In short: do it like you, not like me.

    Intuition over technique

    I think this was always in my nature, because during the first year I was teaching closing the bones 12 years ago, my then doula mentor, Suzanne, a very experienced healer, told me that what she liked best about my style of teaching was that I wasn’t imposing “my way” onto my students, but rather encouraging them to do it their own way.

    What I witnessed with 55 women at the drum convention in November showed me I was right. All these women knew how to hold space and how to drum, intuitively. Very little teaching was needed and I could focus on space holding and responding in real time to what was happening, instead of being in my head to correct techniques.

    Last week when I did a taster workshop with 12 women I was able to go into a completely altered state of consciousness whilst facilitating, because I didn’t need to focus on the technique. From that space I could feel where everybody was at, whether they were ready to move to the next wrap, I could drum and sing, and respond energetically instead of intellectually.

    That felt very, very right to me.

    The patriarchal construct of “doing it right”

    Over the last 12 years of teaching closing the bones and rebozo techniques, one thing that I have noticed time and time again is that students often ask how long or how fast/tight they should rock, massage, or wrap the woman they’re working with. I have felt that this need to be given strict numbers is rooted in a patriarchal way of doing things, one that likes to measure everything, and treat everyone the same. I have always answered that it depends on the woman and that you need to ask her what she prefers, as well as feel into it.

    Since starting to teach drumming workshops, I keep hearing women ask me what is the “right technique”, the right rhythm to drum. And time and time again I tell them the right rhythm is the one they want to play intuitively. IWhen I was interviewed by a scientific journal about drumming and birth, and the editor asked me what rhythm I play during births, and I explained that I didn’t use any set rhythms, rather I played my drum by responding intuitively to the mother and the energy in the room.

    But with the drum, now I’m going even further: I tell women to actively avoid trying to play set drumming rhythms, because it may prevent them from learning to trust themselves (worrying that they are “doing it wrong”), and also prevent them from learning to drum intuitively.

    This fear of doing things wrong, this idea that there is only one right way of doing things, is a patriarchal construct, and I want to help women break away from it. I tell them this is self expression, and the opposite of a performance.

    The drumming I encourage women to explore isn’t a performance, it’s self expression.

    For me this is similar to dance. I’ve attended 5 Rhythms dance sessions for over 6 years. 5 Rhythms is about self expression, not “doing the right dance steps”. It’s completely different from taking ballroom dancing classes. 

    Believing that the only right drumming is playing set rhythms is similar to believing that 5 Rhythms isn’t dance, and that only dance with set steps, like say Tango, is “true” dance. They are just two different things. Both are valid and enjoyable in their own rights but they do not serve the same purpose. And you could do and enjoy both!

    You don’t need permission

    Another thing I have noticed (something I write about extensively in my book), is that the gatekeeping of artistic expression is something that only exists in modern western society. In human cultures around the world, drumming, dancing and singing are normal communal activities (the same way it’s normal for bees to make honey), and NOT DOING THEM isn’t normal. They aren’t reserved to a select few who are “good enough” Only it’s kind of hard when we haven’t been raised that way.

    This leads me to my next point: you don’t need permission.

    You don’t need permission from anyone to drum, not from me, not from a teacher, not from anyone who can decide whether you are “good enough” to do it.

    You also don’t need permission to give healing, touch, holding, nurture and care to other women.

    The same applies to the idea that one needs permission to do healing rituals like closing the bones. While I understand that some people prefer to prioritise formal lineage structures, I believe the practices of woman care, including closing ceremonies, belong to the collective wisdom of women across cultures, not to gatekeepers. These are human practices that have emerged independently in multiple traditions precisely because they meet fundamental human needs. I don’t believe anyone requires permission to learn, adapt, and offer rituals or woman care, and I encourage all my students to do so.

    What matters is not whose permission you have, but whether you practice with skill, ongoing learning, and genuine care for the women you serve.

    The new era we’re stepping into

    I believe that we are at the cusp of a new era when new modalities need to come forth, away from the gatekeeping of patriarchal structures, and that encouraging women to trust themselves and feel good enough (in a culture that has subtly, and not so subtly been teaching them that they aren’t), is fundamentally important.

    And this is why I believe that my new workshop is proving so popular, because deep down we women know this.

    We know that we don’t need more rules, more techniques to master, more hoops to jump through to prove we’re “good enough”. We need permission to trust ourselves. We need practices that meet us where we are. We need to remember what our ancestors knew: that caring for each other, drumming together, holding each other, these aren’t skills reserved for the initiated. They’re our birthright.

    Want to learn this work?If what I’ve written here resonates with you, I’m teaching the next Wrapped in Rhythm in person workshop near Cambridge on the 9th and 10th of May.

  • Imbolc: snowdrops and new beginnings

    Imbolc: snowdrops and new beginnings

    This Sunday is Imbolc, marking the beginning of Celtic spring – that threshold moment when winter hasn’t quite let go but spring is already pushing through.

    Tomorrow I’m co-leading a community ceremony centred around the shift from Cailleach (the winter goddess, which I’ll embody) to Brigid, goddess of spring and midwife of new things. It’s a powerful symbol of transition, not a competition or a fight, but of of one energy bowing out gracefully so another can arrive.

    The symbol that captures this time of year for me? Snowdrops.

    These delicate, tiny flowers, push through dark, cold, frozen ground when nothing else dares. In French they’re called perce-neige (snow piercers). That’s exactly the energy of Imbolc: gentle but coming through anyway.

    I’ll be bringing potted snowdrops to gift to people at the ceremony, I’ll bring some snowdrop essence too, and we’ll do a meditation with the drum connecting with the courageous “I’m emerging whether the conditions are perfect or not” snowdrop energy.

    Then on Sunday I’m facilitating a workshop combining Closing the Bones wrapping with drumming – two practices that help us mark transitions and honour thresholds in our bodies.

    Here’s what I’ve learned from 6 years of co-creating Wheel of the Year ceremonies:

    It’s changed how I experience the passing of time. Instead of fighting the seasons (I used to really hate winter) or barely noticing them pass, I’m actually in them. I know the wisdom of winter’s rest. I recognise spring’s emergence. I can feel the turn.

    This isn’t about being more spiritual, it’s about being more present. More connected to the natural rhythms happening around and inside us. Learning from them, especially in a world that never seems to rest….

    If bringing ceremony into your own life speaks to you:

    There’s a whole chapter in The Beat of Your Own Drum on drumming and ceremony – including Wheel of the Year rituals, stories, and a blueprint for creating your own ceremonies, whether you are on your own or with others.

    You can attend gatherings, or you can mark Imbolc (or any threshold) with a small altar, a small ritual, a drum, five minutes, and your own intention.

    What’s trying to push through for you this Imbolc? What’s your snowdrop?

  • From Closing the Bones to Wrapped in Rhythm: Why I’m Changing How I Teach This Ritual

    From Closing the Bones to Wrapped in Rhythm: Why I’m Changing How I Teach This Ritual

    For over a decade, I’ve been teaching closing the bones, a traditional postpartum ritual involving rocking, massage, and wrapping with rebozos. I’ve worked with hundreds of women, trained over 1,000 students both in person and online across 30 countries, and continuously evolved my practice through experience, training, and intuition.

    Now, I’m making a significant shift. I’m moving away from teaching the full traditional sequence and focusing on what I’ve discovered is most powerful: the wrapping combined with drumming. I’m calling this new approach Wrapped in Rhythm.

    This isn’t abandoning the ritual, it’s distilling it down to its most accessible, intuitive, and transformative essence. Here’s how I got here.

    The Evolution: From Complex to Simple

    I started teaching closing the bones in 2014. Since I first started, the way I teach has evolved continuously, not only because I trained with a wide range of people, but because my own practice evolved over time, and is still evolving.

    In the early days I taught a simple hip rocking, abdominal massage, and hip wrapping  process. Over time I learnt more massage techniques, and adapted some of them to make them more effective, and learnt to wrap the entire body rather than just the hips.

    By practising this ritual with hundreds of women, teaching it to over 1000 students, and continuing to train with a wide range of teachers of this ritual and bodyworkers, I developed my own unique way of offering it.

    Fairly early on I added drumming, because, even before I understood the way drumming slows the brain down and modifies our state of consciousness, it felt right.

    There were several defining moments in my experience that changed the way I practiced. For example supporting new mothers post cesarean, and finding out that I could adapt the technique, and omit the lower abdominal massage and still provide deep healing. Another one was first during the 2020 lockdowns, when I supported new mothers in pain (read more about this here), I realised that just rocking and wrapping could still be immensely helpful (this led me to offer my closing the bones online course), and more recently when I trained with Mexican Midwife Naoli Vinaver, whilst going through a mental health crisis, I discovered how incredibly healing the wrapping alone could be. I started sharing the wrapping more widely with my local community, and this led to the ritual being done often on people’s birthdays.

    I see a similarity between this evolution and how I originally practised when I first learnt Reiki in 2003: I thought it would only work if I had at least 30 min, had the person lying down on a couch and did all the hand positions in the right order. Then I read an article from a teacher who encouraged people to do just 5 min on someone sitting on a chair if that’s all that time allowed, and discovered that it could still be powerful.

    Over the last 4 years, I have done a lot of impromptu closing the bones, sometimes having no rebozos with me, and borrowing people’s scarves, sometimes doing workshops, sometimes doing just a 10 min taster by wrapping the hips in women circles. Last year I attended a local retreat. I only had one rebozo, and I hadn’t planned to demonstrate anything but I ended up doing some impromptu wrapping because people asked me. I was amazed when a man had a very powerful emotional release when I wrapped his shoulders, and I think he was as amazed as I was. These experiences have taught me that 5 min of wrapping can be powerful in their own right.

    The Drumming Deepens

    I started adding drumming to the ritual in 2014, because I did a group ceremony during which a woman was drumming in the background, and it just felt right. Over the last 13 years my drumming practice has grown exponentially, from drumming during closing the bones, to training to become a Reiki drum practitioner then teacher, to drumming during births (read about that here), to publishing a article on the effect of drumming during birth in the international journal of birth and parenting education. All of this led to the writing and publishing of my second book, The beat of your own drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health and transformation. As I write this I’m in the process of starting some research with Prof Joyce Harper, Professor of Reproductive Science at the Institute for Women’s Health, University College London, which we will publish.

    The Power of Simplicity

    In 2022, when I was in the middle of a mental health crisis, I attended a 3 day long rebozo training with Mexican midwife Naoli Vinaver. She showed us how to the closing the bones wrapping with 7 rebozos, something I was already doing. However, she showed a slightly different version of what I had been teaching. In particular she wrapped the head and eyes like a cocoon (I had been avoiding wrapping the eyes until then, believing that it might make people feel claustrophobic), and she also instructed us to tighten each rebozo until it was tight enough for the woman, then hold it until she said it was “done” for each wrap. The combination of the tight wrap around the head, helping me to go deeply inwards, and being wrapped and waiting until it was “done” felt incredibly powerful, and healing.

    A couple of weeks after this training, I shared this experience with 30 of my friends in a local community retreat, and I could clearly see how powerful it was for everyone.

    After this I shared it as widely as possible, and I changed the way I taught closing the bones workshops to reflect my new knowledge.

    Towards the end of 2025, I got the sense that change was afoot again and that I was probably teaching the last of the current version of closing the bones in its current inception.

    You see I’m someone who loves doing new things, and I like what I offer to reflect my evolution. I’ve modified my teachings to reflect my evolution countless times, forever creating new teaching plans and handouts as the practice evolves.

    In November 2025, I led a large workshop at the UK convention of women drummers. Being aware that closing the bones can lead to big emotional releases, I has asked to limit my group to 30 women. However, due to venue constraints, I was asked to take half of the attendees (50 women), whilst the other half did a drumming workshop in the other hall. I asked my friend Malwina, who is also experienced in teaching closing the bones, to join me in holding the space for the workshop. It was no mean feat, and I had to bring my entire teaching stock of 47 rebozos, and ask Malwina to bring 10 extras. In the end we had 55 women attending the workshop. I shouldn’t have worried because it was utterly magical. I led women in groups of three, to wrap each other with 3 rebozos (shoulders, hips and lower legs), and then to drum over the wrapped woman. Was it because most women there were already drummers, and skilled at holding space? The energy in the room was so beautiful and healing as they worked. Thanks for over 15 years of facilitation experience, I was able to respond in real time and make changes according to what was happening in the room. I also drummed, played the flute, and sang whilst women were being wrapped. It went better than I could have imagined.  We even had time to show all the women how to wrap their own hips, and we finished singing and swaying in a big circle. Not only did it feel magical but I lost count of how many women came to see me after the workshop, and the following way to tell me it was life changing.

    Why Wrapped in Rhythm Makes Sense

    So I’ve decided to change the way I teach closing the bones, to make more room for the wrapping and the drumming. Instead of teaching a sequence of rocking, abdominal massage and wrapping, I’m going to teach the wrapping in more depth, with more options, and make more room for the drumming.

    There are several reasons for this:

    With my drumming work, I’m very keen to encourage women to drum intuitively rather than using set rhythms. This is because I use the drumming as a tool for self expression rather than a performance. When being asked about rhythms, I always answer that the best rhythm is an intuitive one that responds to the energy of the person drumming, or the person for whom you are drumming.

    This is similar to what Naoli Vinaver said when people asked “How fast, how long, at what amplitude should you rock or wrap the rebozo” and she always replied (something I’ve always done too): you just ask the woman!

    Everything in my work currently is leaning towards more simplicity and accessibility, towards the fact that we already know what to do, we have just forgotten how to do it. In my drum circle, during one of the rounds of drumming, I ask if anybody is particularly in need of healing, then I suggest there people lie down, and that the rest of us drum over them. I purposefully do not give any instructions and people (including people who have never drummed before) always know what to do, and report that they found it incredibly powerful to find out that they can do this.

    With the wrapping is it the same: contrary to the abdominal massage, which requires skill and correction, and a lot of practice to become confident, everyone can immediately do the wrapping, after just a few minutes of demonstration.

    Combined together the wrapping and drumming are powerful. The wrapping provides a deep sense of nervous system safety, brings you back into the present and into your body. The drumming adds to this by putting you into a deeply relaxed state of consciousness (like a deep meditative state), and from this place, the body and mind can reset into a place of calm and grounding. 

    In the workshop I also want to cover both working on a mat on the floor and on massage tables so people can discover what works best for them.

    With my desire to support more women  to go from a place of intuitive knowing rather than structured learning,this new modality, which I called Wrapped in Rhythm, makes a lot of sense.

    Moving Forward

    The essence of healing doesn’t require complexity. It requires presence, intention, and trust.

    By focusing on wrapping and drumming, the two elements that are most accessible, most intuitive, and most transformative, I’m honouring what I’ve learned from over a decade of practice and countless moments of discovery.

    I’m teaching the first taster workshop of Wrapped in Rhythm on Sunday afternoon, 1st February, and the full technique on Saturday 28th February and Sunday 1st March.

    This feels like coming home to what the work has been trying to tell me all along: we already know how to heal each other. We just need to remember, to slow down, and to trust our hands and our rhythm.

    The wrapping holds us. The drumming carries us. Together, they help us return to ourselves.

  • From snake to horse my review of 2025

    From snake to horse my review of 2025

    Moving from limbo to fast powerful action 

    My word for the year 2025 was power, and it didn’t quite work out how I thought it would! When I look back at 2025 I see a year of two halves.The first half of the year I experienced a lack of direction and a lot of shedding, the second half was fast and full of fast action, power and direction.

    During the first half of 2025, I felt lost, directionless, it felt like the extreme culmination of a sense of the void that started 3 years ago when I left doula work behind. I had no idea where I was going professionally, and struggled at deciding what to call myself. When people asked what I do, I would often say “I used to work as a scientist, then as a doula….” and I didn’t know what to say I was doing now, giving some wafty description of supporting women through transitions. With my ADHD mind always focusing on what I’m not doing, I forgot that I was completing the work of birthing my second book into the world. All I could think about was that I didn’t know what I was meant to be doing. For someone who normally has had a clear sense of direction for most of my life, this felt extremely uncomfortable.

    At the end of  2024, I had tried to launch a new program that fell flat on its face (you can read about this in my review of 2024), so instead, I decided to try a few small workshops to test what would land for me and my audience. I ran a number of new online workshops which were well received. I also ran the first of 2 month long drum microdosing circles online. This was actually amazing because over the course of 4 weeks, my students saw a 50 to 80% improvement in their wellbeing intention, which was way beyond what I had imagined it would do. It also meant that I felt a sense of direction during this time. In human design, I’m a generator, and I’m meant to respond, rather than initiate, and this felt really good. As I held the space for the women drumming during that month, I also felt held myself.

    By June, the sense of being directionless reached its peak. I literally felt like I was being stripped of all everything, erased like a blank slate. I could see what was happening but it felt very challenging, and I struggled to trust what was to come. It was made more difficult by the fact that during these two months, my income dropped spectacularly, below anything it had ever done. I noticed that part of me was still equating my worth to my income. I’m so grateful for my husband’s support because when I shared my fears with him, he reassured me that, even if I earned nothing, we would still get by (I’m so grateful that my husband has a steady job and I can’t imagine how stressful it would have been if I’d been a single mum in this scenario). 

    Whilst this was happening, I was also busy building foundations for new things: not only the launch of my book, but the launch of a new website, so there was a lot of important behind the scenes stuff happening (many of which meant that I had to pause doing other things like my podcast, and my blog writing also slowed down this year to about half of what it was). But it felt like I had nothing to show for it yet. My book, The beat of your own drum, prelaunched in June and as well as all the other launch tasks, I also needed to make sure I had created the three preorder freebies before I went on holiday in August. I felt a lot of time pressure.

    When I look back (hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn’t it?), I can see so clearly that the decks were being cleared to make room for new things. One thing that illustrates this beautifully, was in July, when I had a photoshoot with my wonderful photographer friend Ali Dover. Ali has been taking the pictures for all 3 major iterations of my website through the years. First in 2013, when my first website was about doulaing, antenatal education, and babywearing instructor work. Then the second iteration in 2018, when the focus was still very much doula work, and the ritual, spiritual and drum side was starting to show more (but, and I think it shows in the picture below, when I still had some level of impostor syndrome as I didn’t feel I could quite call myself a drum woman yet). Then there is the 2025 picture of me holding my drum in the air, where the wildness is clear and the drum feels like it’s part of my body.

    Evolution of work persona from babywearing to doula to wild woman. Can you see the wildness growth?

    In June, on my way back from a small local festival, I listened to Lucy Pearce’s podcast episode where she interviewed author Coco Oya Cienna-Rey about her new book, Digging for mother’s bones. Coco’s book process was about 3 months ahead of mine, hers just having been published when mine was in preorder. In the podcast episode, she explained that, now she had birthed her book, she was going to take the summer off. I remember thinking: I need to do this too, except in my case it’s more of a “I need to rest before birthing” situation. This is something I wrote about in my previous book, Why postnatal recovery matters, and I wrote a blog post called Entering the Sacred Pause, about the wisdom of resting before birthing my book. You can listen to Lucy’s podcast episode with me about my book in her podcast too.

    The energy moves

    From August onwards, for no clear reason on my part that I could see (except that I’d done a lot of healing work, more about this in the section on self growth), things started to move a-pace. Knowing that I was going to go on holiday for nearly 3 weeks in August, I decided to run a free workshop on closing the bones for life transitions, where I also promoted my existing online courses and upcoming in person closing the bones training. Not only did 115 women register for the workshop, but, despite being on holidays for most of the month, I earned more money that month than any other months during 2025 (a first for August which is usually very quiet).

    From then on, with the launch of the book in September, running events around it, sharing the conversations I’d recorded about women making noise, I surfed on a wave of new, and things felt like they finally moved, fast. In October, I decided to run a second month long drum microdosing course called Drumming as Medicine. 23 women joined me. The transformation was remarkable: participants’ confidence in their practice jumped from 2-4 out of 10 to 8-9. Women who couldn’t pick up their drums at the start were playing daily by week four. The combination of neuroscience, drumming practice, and community created something powerful. Every participant said they would recommend it enthusiastically. This validated what I know: when women are given permission to drum, a simple structure, and witness from other women, something transformative happens.

    After the course ended, the message was unanimous: we want more. Women  said they wanted longer sessions, ongoing circles, continued connection. Many ticked “year-long collective” when asked about future offerings. Four weeks had given them permission and structure, but that was just the beginning. Real transformation, real mastery, real drum keeping – that takes time. Time to explore different ways of working with the drum, to work with seasonal energies, to tend the practice through resistance and return, to move from student to keeper of the beat. 

    So I created a new program called the Women Drum Keepers Collective. It was what they were already asking for : a year-long journey of becoming women who remember the power of the drum. The Women Drum Keepers Collective is an 11-month journey beginning  in February 2026, guiding women from tentative beginners to confident drum keepers through fortnightly live calls. Moving through the wheel of the year from Imbolc to Winter Solstice, the collective explores drumming as medicine through four seasonal phases: Foundations (winter into spring), Expression (spring into summer), Harvest & Release (summer into autumn), and Integration (autumn into winter). Each fortnight alternates between teaching sessions (with technique, neuroscience, and guided drumming) and integration calls (with sharing circles and depth work). This bridges structured curriculum with fortnightly accountability, evidence-based nervous system science with ceremonial practice, progressive skill-building with seasonal wisdom, and women’s empowerment with reclamation. It’s designed for women who refuse to choose between their analytical mind and ancestral knowing, who want a practice that deepens over time, and who are ready to move to embodying medicine. 

    In November, I also led the biggest ever in person workshop of my life: I volunteered to run a closing the bones wrapping and drumming workshop at the women drumming convention in Colchester, and I wanted to limit it to 30 women, but Mel asked me if I to take half of the women coming to the convention whilst as the other half were doing another workshop. Feeling a big worried about holding space for so many with a ritual that I know can lead to deep emotional release, I roped in my friend Malwina to co-host with me. In the end we had 55 women in the workshop and I shouldn’t have worried, because not only did it go extremely well, felt deep and beautiful, and we even had time to show all the women to wrap their hips and finished singing the “let it go” song whilst swaying in a circle, but over the rest of that day and the next I’ve lost count of how many women came to tell me that this was life changing. I’ve decided to offer this workshop again on the afternoon of the 1st of February and also teach it on the week end of the 28th of February and 1st of March.

    At the end of 2025, I ran an online workshop, attended by nearly 100 women, with two drum journeys to walk a time spiral to review 2025, and connect with your future self a year from now in 2026. What fascinated me was that people reported a lot of grief and loss and difficult feelings for 2025 whereas 2026 had a much lighter energy.  The themes were processing loss and finding resilience in 2025 and moving towards grounded expansion in 2026.

    2025 Journey

    2025 emerged as a year of transformation through loss and shedding. Many participants experienced brutal challenges : grief, burnout, depression, and significant life changes that forced them to let go of old identities. Yet within this difficulty came some gifts: the courage to step into full authenticity, to no longer make themselves small for others’ comfort, and to move from head-centered living into heart-led wisdom. Resilience was a central theme, with participants discovering their own strength like diamonds formed under pressure. For some, the year brought rebirth, tender new beginnings, where entire life concepts were reimagined and life began feeling truly their own. 

    2026 Journey

    The energy of 2026 called participants toward grounded expansion and joyful expression. The primary invitation was to grow deep roots, to feel held and trust without worrying about every detail. Freedom emerged as a strong theme: permission to move without fear or compromise, to move forward with one’s mission, and to express fully without holding back. Boundaries and self-care took center stage, with the understanding that personal fire needs careful tending to stay warm without burning out. Creativity and nourishment flows from within, with many called to write, create, and share their gifts. Joy itself becomes the key to manifesting the future, bringing clarity, peace, and spaciousness. The horse energy of 2026 promises heart-healing, movement, and momentum.

    You can watch the recording of this workshop here

    Personal growth in 2025

    Aside from the discomfort and stripping of the first half of the year, I did some serious work on myself last year, and also went through some major milestones.

    To support the discomfort and stripping, and lack of presence to challenges, I carried on working with the psychotherapist and shaman I’d been working with for 18 months. In May I had 4 sessions of extracellular matrix integration technique (a form of fascia release). In June I attended a weekend training called Radical Wholeness (after the book of the same name by Philipp Shepherd), and I found this truly transformative, and by the end of the weekend I could feel the movements in the nature around me in my body. In July I attended well over 10 different workshops, a few of which I found incredibly powerful (in particular, working with the energy of the blue lotus, Biodanza, a group family constellations workshop, and a 2h long Lituanian Sauna ceremony).

    In the Autumn, as well as my weekly 5 rhythms dance session, I also started attending Biodanza classes every fortnight.

    Since October I’ve been working with a functional medicine practitioner, as well as an acupuncturist to rebalance my hormones and energy. 

    In 2025 I also went to two funerals, and accompanied the last few weeks of a dying friend with some drumming and singing.

    A big milestone in 2025 was that my son moved to university in September. I anticipated that I would feel bittersweet, leaving him there at his new uni lodgings, but I never expected how much grief I would feel. Given the date of his moving there was a weekday, I had to drive him alone instead of going with my husband. As I walked away from his new building, I was overtaken by deep sobs, the kind that make your throat close up. I walked to my car and I had to sit there for a while to recover. Over the next few days, I was overcome by grief several times a day every time something in the house or the daily routine reminded me that he wasn’t there. 

    And I also felt proud of my son, especially as he had struggled so much at college before we understood that he too was neurodivergent, and I never thought he’d get where he now was at the time. But my, I never knew the grief would feel so strong, it felt like someone had died. You spend nearly 20 yearsraising a child, and it’s good and healthy that they open their wings and leave the nest, but it also feels so very hard to lose them. At the time a friend reminded me that I was lucky that I had a life for myself outside of being a mother, and I knew this to the true, having met women who entire lives revolved around their children, and who did not know what to do with themselves when they left.

    And luckily for me, I was busy with the launch of my book the week after he left for Uni, and that carried me forward and out of grief pretty fast.

    Since then, he’s been back home twice, and when he’s left I never felt that level of grief again thankfully.

    Interestingly, I was due to hit the menopause milestone (12 months without a period) at the end of September, having been in perimenopause since I was 42 (I’m now 55- that’s a loooong perimenopause), but I had a small bleed on the day I moved him to uni (how’s that for symbolic?), so the clock is reset and I will not be officially menopaused until I’m 56.

    All the things I did in 2025 work wise

    • I ran 5 free workshops online, attended by 436 women
    • I created and delivery 3 new trainings: 2 month long drum microdosing and drumming as medicine courses, and the collective, and my new wrapped in rhythm workshop
    • I delivered 5 in person workshops (Closing the bones and postnatal recovery massage, and wrapped in rhythm)
    • I ran 22 drum circles circles (a mix of in person and online) and 8 wheel of the year ceremonies, as well as attended weekly private drum circles with my drum sisters
    • I launched 3 books (the French translation of my book about postpartum recovery, The Beat of Your Own Drum, and 2 pieces in the Woman Craft Compendium about women circles.
    • I wrote 22 blog posts and 24 newsletters, and recorded 12 podcast episodes.
    • I published an article about postpartum recovery in the international journal of birth and parent education and wrote a massive blog post review all the scientific evidence behind rebozo techniques
    • And I submitted 3 pieces for the next Womancraft compendium about the too much woman (which means that I’ll be published in a 4th book this year)

    And learning wise (CPD): I took part in a year long business mentoring group, I attended 2 drum conventions and one drum flash, a retreat, my first ever festival  (Buddhafield), a radical wholeness workshop, and I took an insight timer course, an instagram course, and a money course.

    and I kind of still feel that I haven’t done much….my ADHD brain always focuses on what I’m NOT doing….but I’m working on that.

    Word of the year

    My word for 2025 was power. My word for 2026 is source. For me this means connecting with the source of power that connects us all, and to trust what the universe has in store for me. I have started expressing desires and letting it to the universe to make it happen for me, without controlling or knowing exactly how it will happen.

  • Why the Drum Reviews Your Year Better Than Bullet Points Do

    Why the Drum Reviews Your Year Better Than Bullet Points Do

    Why the Drum Reviews Your Year Better Than Bullet Points Do

    It’s that time of year again.

    You know the drill: grab your journal, make yourself a cup of tea, and write down your reflections on 2025.

    What went well?
    What didn’t?
    What did you learn?
    What are you grateful for?
    What will you do differently in 2026?

    And if you’re like most self-aware women, you’ll fill pages with thoughtful, articulate insights about your year.

    You’ll make beautiful lists. You’ll identify patterns. You’ll set intentions for next year that sound really, really good.

    Then you’ll close the journal, return to your life, and somehow… nothing actually shifts.

    You’re trying to access body-held wisdom through the thinking mind.

    And your thinking mind is the last place that knows what this year was really about.

    Your Nervous System Has Been Keeping The Score

    While you were managing 2025, your body was tracking everything:

    • Every transition that rattled your sense of identity
    • Every loss you tried to process while still showing up for everyone
    • Every moment of overwhelm you pushed through because you had to
    • Every boundary you crossed or failed to hold
    • Every time you felt joy and second-guessed it
    • Every rage you swallowed
    • Every grief you postponed

    Your nervous system has a detailed record of this year. But it doesn’t speak in bullet points.

    It speaks in:

    • Tension patterns in your shoulders and jaw
    • The way your breath shallows when you think about certain topics
    • The exhaustion that sleep doesn’t touch
    • The restlessness that has nowhere to go
    • The numbness that protects you from feeling too much

    Journalling exercises asks your thinking mind to report on what your body experienced.

    It’s like asking someone who watched a movie through a window to write the review. They saw some things. They missed the audio. They have theories. But they didn’t experience it.

    Your body experienced 2025. Your mind just watched.

    Why Cognitive Reflection Keeps You Safe (And Stuck)

    The thinking mind is brilliant at many things:

    • Making sense of complexity
    • Identifying patterns
    • Planning and strategizing
    • Sounding articulate and insightful

    But it’s also brilliant at:

    • Keeping you comfortable
    • Avoiding what’s actually true
    • Controlling the narrative
    • Protecting you from feelings you’re not ready to feel

    When you sit down with your journal and ask “what did 2025 teach me?”, your thinking mind immediately curates the answer.

    It gives you the lessons you’re READY to hear.
    The ones that make sense.
    The ones that don’t threaten your self-concept.
    The ones that feel manageable.

    It won’t tell you:

    • The grief you’re still not acknowledging
    • The rage that’s calcified into resentment
    • The pattern you keep repeating because facing it would mean changing everything
    • The gift that’s sitting right in front of you that you can’t see because it doesn’t match your story

    Your thinking mind loves you. It’s trying to keep you safe. But safety does not equal truth.

    What Happens When You Bypass the Thinking Mind

    This is where drumming becomes revolutionary.

    When you drum, or when you listen to drumming, especially in a guided journey with intention, something neurologically fascinating happens:

    Your brainwaves shift from beta (normal waking consciousness) to alpha and/or theta (meditative/trance state).

    Alpha and theta are where:

    • The analytical mind quiets
    • The body’s wisdom becomes accessible
    • Symbols and images emerge instead of words
    • Truth that’s been stored somatically can surface
    • You access knowing that thinking can’t reach

    It’s the same state you’re in during REM sleep, deep meditation, or moments of creative flow.

    In this altered state, your body can finally TELL you what 2025 was about.

    Not what you think it should have been about.
    Not the sanitized version.
    Not the narrative that makes sense.

    The actual, embodied, messy, often surprising truth.

    Why This Matters for How You Move Forward

    The thing is about unacknowledged truth: It doesn’t go away just because you wrote a different story in your journal.

    It stays in your body:

    • As tension
    • As exhaustion
    • As patterns you can’t quite break
    • As vague dissatisfaction with your life
    • As a sense that something’s missing but you can’t name what

    And then you carry all of that into 2026.

    You set beautiful intentions based on the curated story.
    You make plans based on what you THINK happened.
    You commit to changes that don’t address what’s actually asking to shift.

    And then you wonder why nothing actually changes.

    The body truth you bypassed? It’s still running the show.

    The Neuroscience of Why This Works

    Let me put on my PhD hat for a moment.

    The thinking mind lives primarily in the prefrontal cortex : planning, analysing, narrating.

    Body wisdom lives in:

    • The limbic system (emotions, memory)
    • The brain stem (survival responses, core regulation)
    • The vagus nerve (gut feelings, somatic knowing)

    These systems don’t speak English.

    They don’t respond to “tell me what you learned this year.”

    But they DO respond to:

    • Rhythm (the drum)
    • Repetition (the steady beat)
    • Resonance (vibration in the body)
    • Trance states (alpha and theta brainwaves)
    • Symbolic language (images, metaphors, sensations)

    When you drum with intention, you’re literally creating the neurological conditions for non-verbal knowing to surface.

    You’re giving your body permission to speak in its own language.

    Your body has been waiting to tell you things your mind wasn’t ready to hear.

    This Isn’t About Drumming Being “Better” Than Journaling

    Both have value. Both are powerful. Both have their place.

    But they serve different purposes:

    Journaling is phenomenal for:

    • Processing thoughts and making meaning
    • Tracking patterns over time
    • Articulating insights once you’ve HAD them
    • Planning and strategising
    • Integration work

    Drumming is phenomenal for:

    • ACCESSING what needs to be known
    • Bypassing the defensive mind
    • Letting the body speak
    • Receiving insight rather than generating it
    • Dropping into truth that thinking obscures

    The most powerful practice? Use both.

    Drum to ACCESS the truth. Journal to INTEGRATE what came through.

    Not the other way around.

    How to Actually Do This

    If you’re reading this thinking “okay, I want to try this, but I don’t know how” – start simple.

    You don’t need to be a “drummer.”
    You don’t need a fancy drum.
    You don’t need to know what you’re doing.

    Here’s a basic practice:

    1. Set an intention: “Show me what 2025 was really about” or “What gift am I meant to receive from this year?”
    2. Find a rhythm: Just a steady beat. Doesn’t have to be complex. Think heartbeat.
    3. Drum for 5-10 minutes: Keep the rhythm going. Close your eyes. Let yourself drop in.
    4. Notice what comes: Images, sensations, memories, emotions, knowing. Don’t judge it. Just notice.
    5. Journal afterward: Not to make sense of it. Just to capture what came through.

    That’s it.

    The sophistication isn’t in the technique.  It’s in the willingness to let your body speak.

    Or Let Me Guide You

    This is exactly why I’m offering a free drum journey workshop next week.

    Not because I think you need another thing to do. But because I KNOW that bullet-point reflection isn’t touching what 2025 actually asked of you.

    (and frankly because I find drumming a whole lot more appealing and fun than sitting down to write)

    We’ll do two guided drum journeys together:

    Journey 1: The Spiral – Walking back through 2025 with a guide who shows you what actually happened (not what you think happened). You’ll receive a gift or lesson.

    Journey 2: Meeting Your Future Self – Traveling forward to December 2026 to meet the transformed version of you. She’ll show you what you need to know right now.

    Between journeys: journaling, sharing, and space to actually FEEL what this year was about.

    No drum required. Just curiosity and willingness.

    Not because I’m promising magic. But because your body already knows what you need to know.

    The drum just helps you hear it.

    The Invitation

    What if 2025 has a gift for you that you can’t see yet?

    What if there’s wisdom in your body that your thinking mind keeps bypassing?

    What if the reason you feel stuck isn’t because you haven’t reflected ENOUGH, but because you’ve been reflecting in the wrong language?

    Your body knows.

    Put down the journal.
    Pick up the drum.
    Let it speak.

    Join my FREE workshop Review Your Year, Reclaim Your Vision: A Free Drum Journey Workshop on Wednesday the 17th of December 2025. No experience necessary. 

    Tell me: What did your journal tell you about 2025? And what is your body trying to tell you that you haven’t been able to hear yet?

  • They took our drums -spoken word

    They took our drums -spoken word

    They took our drums
    and called it civilisation.

    Told us to be quiet,
    to speak when spoken to,
    to lower our voices,
    to stop making a fuss.

    They took our drums
    and replaced them with
    clocks and beeping phones
    and metrics that measure
    everything except
    the beating of our hearts.

    They took our drums
    because they knew:
    a woman with a drum
    cannot be tamed.

    We used to drum to women into labour,
    our rhythms matching contractions,
    our beats saying
    you are not alone
     your body knows

    We used to drum the dying home,
    steady beats that said
    it’s safe to let go
     we are here
     you are held.

    We used to drum for the moon,
    for the harvest,
    for the grief that had no words,
    for the joy that was too big
    to fit inside our chests

    The drum was our medicine.
    Our technology.
    Our prayer.

    Then they took them.

    Banned them first,
    when they wanted control.
    They called our drumming witchcraft.
    Burned the women who wouldn’t stop.

    They removed rhythm from birth
    and replaced it with
    sterile rooms and
    beeping machines and
    women flat on their backs
    told to push
    on someone else’s schedule.

    Made us forget
    that our hands
    once knew how to call forth
    the soul

    And here’s what they knew
    that we forgot:

    Drumming drops you
    out of your thinking mind
    into your body,
    into that place where
    you cannot be sold to
    or marketed at
    or convinced
    that you are not enough.

    Drumming connects you to
    rage (call it hysteria, lock her up)
    intuition (call it irrational, dismiss her)
    power (call it threatening, silence her)
    boundaries (call it difficult, punish her).

    Drumming makes you
    uncontrollable

    And when women drum together?

    When our hearts synchronise
    and our brains entrain
    and we remember
    bone-deep remember
    that we are not alone?

    That’s when the systems shake.

    Because isolated women
    compete.
    compare.
    comply.

    But women in sync?
    Women whose heartbeats match?
    Women who remember
    what they are capable of
    when they move together?

    Those women
    cannot be controlled.

    So they told you:
    you’re not musical
    you can’t keep a beat
    you need training
    you need permission
    you need to be
    quieter
    smaller
    less.


    They told you drumming is:
    New age nonsense
    Hippy bullshit
    Something only men do
      

    They told you this
    because your drum
    is dangerous.

    But here’s what I know:

    Your hands remember.

    Even if your mind forgot,
    even if you think you have no rhythm,
    even if you’ve never touched a drum

    your hands remember.

    Your grandmother’s hands.
    Your great-great-great-grandmother’s hands.
    The hands of every woman
    who came before you,
    drumming in the dark,
    drumming in the light,
    drumming the world
    into being.

    So pick up your drum.

    Pick it up and know
    that every beat says:
    I will not be silenced.

    Every rhythm claims:
    I take up space.

    Every pulse declares:
    I am here,
    I am connected,
    I am powerful,
    and I am done
    asking for permission.

    They took our drums
    thinking they could keep us quiet.

    But the drum lives
    in our blood,
    in our heart,
    in the pulse
    that moves through
    every woman
    who has ever lived.

    They can take the drum
    from our hands.

    But they cannot take
    the drum
    from our bones.

    So drum, sister.


    Drum like your grandmothers are listening

    Drum like your grand-daughters are watching

    Drum like the revolution depends on it

    Drum until you remember
    who you were
    before they taught you
    to be small.

    Drum until the ground
    shakes
    with the sound
    of women
    remembering.

    They took our drums.
     We’re taking them back.

    Play