Sometimes the most profound wisdom comes from practicing what we preach. As my book launch approaches, I find myself in a familiar space—one I’ve guided countless women through as a doula, but now must navigate myself.

The limbo before the birth

Lately I’ve been feeling in a sort of limbo-in between 2 worlds. The prelaunch of my book is looming (a week days to go), so I’m busy doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff and I’m also having a completely new website built over the summer to reflect my new focus.

I’ve been having not so positive feelings of lack of “doing”, lack of “putting things out there”, I even have just had to cancel 2 in person courses due to lack of bookings (something that’s not happened like this ever before), and a general sense of lack of direction. I’ve had to work at reminding myself that there is rich fertile soil in period of fallowness and void. But in a culture that glorifies busy and “productivity”, even though it’s been over 8 years that I’ve started my journey of reclamation of spaciousness within, it’s still something I struggle with.

So the last few days I’ve been surrendering as much as I can, and making a point to do things that give me joy, such as swimming in the river (which is wonderful as we’re having a heatwave in the UK right now)

One of the things several people I work with have told me is to trust the process of where the book launch is going to take me-somewhere completely new. It’s scary to trust this at time, even though I can feel the energy of what’s coming and it’s f*cking huge.

When I chose to publish my new book with Womancraft Publishing, what attracted me most to them was their values of women supporting women.

So in preparation for the launch, I’ve been busy recording a bunch of conversations about Women Making Noise (reclaiming our right to make noise).

In one of these conversations yesterday we talked about the “limbo” that women experience in the days before they go into labour. I know this, yes, I’m familiar with supporting this as a doula, I told myself, this is what I’m experiencing now. I should heed my own wisdom.

This morning, out of these conversations, I’ve been offered to come and run a bunch of events in Brighton (and down the line maybe even some retreats), and in another we’re started to put in place the process of doing published research on what drumming does for women. This feels so exciting! My heart sings at the prospect of doing many new (ground breaking) things in this field.

Learning to trust the void

But for now I wait. I wait and try to surrender, telling myself the things I used to tell myself when waiting for my “overdue” baby to arrive, and the pregnant women when they entered their “in between time”. I have plenty of experience supporting this time, and I also experienced it for myself, as a doula, whilst waiting for labour to start.

This week, I was struck by listening to another Womancraft author, Coco Oya -Cienna-Rey, in her episode of the Creative Magic podcast. Her book is published today. In the podcast Coco said that after the publication she was going to take the summer off. Then it became very clear that I needed to do something similar.

When my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters, was published in 2020, I did not understand that, after riding the wave of the publication, after the flurry of the launch, the signing and posting hundreds of books, writing articles etc, after all the excitement, I would crash and experience a long fallow period. And crash I did, spectacularly. I did not understand the natural cycles of growth and decay, of birth and death, of summer and winter, the way I am now. I felt extremely guilty and uncomfortable in that state, because I was unconsciously driven by modern society’s belief that productivity = worth. I could not understand what one of my drum sisters said about the need for me to acknowledge the enormity of what I’d done and receive the book. The irony for someone whose book was about postpartum recovery!

Giving myself permission to pause

In the past, I also wrote about the importance of resting before birth, and of the importance of resting after birthing a project. So this time (thank you, Coco!) I am going to heed my own wisdom and give myself the gift of rest and recovery, before the big launch and busyness that will accompany it.

Because it’s true. I’m due to have a baby soon. Not a physical baby, but I’m “giving birth” to my new book. It’s been a long gestation, with conception starting over 2 years ago, the process of writing, then editing and correcting the book, and finally the “baby” will soon be ready to be born. It will not arrive in physical form until the 12th of September, but pre-ordering (which comes with a bunch of goodies exclusive to people who are pre-ordering), is only a week away, on the 27th of June. I’ll share as soon as it becomes available. You could say I’m entering my 3rd trimester.

 Between now and the Autumn all of my energy is going to be focused on preparing for the birth, in supporting this new baby in entering the world and then in sharing and nurturing it. I will need to slow down, need to recover from birthing, and nurture myself too. 

Therefore I will not be offering any new courses or programs in the next 2 to 3 months. However, my many pre-recorded courses , webinars, and workshops are still available (scroll down for these below, these include many drum based trainings). 

I would also love to support women who feel called to the drum but do not know how to start or want to overcome procrastination or impostor syndrome through my mentoring sessions.

Here’s some short excerpts from the book:

• The many women I have drummed for during pregnancies, birth and postpartum, during difficult life transitions, loss, trauma, grief, illness, accidents, changes of circumstances, end of relationships and more, have told me that the drum spoke to something deep within them, something they recognised: a remembering. They spoke of feeling like they were inside of a temple, of feeling their ancestors around them, of being reminded of their strength, of receiving powerful messages of guidance from within, including messages from goddesses and the divine feminine.

• As we drum, we don’t just think differently – we experience the world differently. This altered state of being opens doorways to new perspectives, al- lowing us to imagine and embody alternatives to the limiting narratives that have been unconsciously programmed into us. In essence, drumming doesn’t just challenge the system – it transports us beyond it, offering an experience of what true autonomy and connection feel like.

• Drumming, because of its ability to modify our state of consciousness, can help us get out of a rational, masculine-centric way of thinking and re-learn how to access a more intuitive, more feminine way of knowing. Drumming can provide an antidote, not only to the ever-increasing speed and business of our world, but also to the systematic destruction of women’s power and autonomy.

And a video of me reading another excerpt:

Conclusion

This limbo, this in-between time, is teaching me that the pause before emergence is as sacred as the emergence itself. Just as I’ve witnessed with the women I’ve supported, this waiting isn’t empty time—it’s a space where something beautiful is preparing to unfold.

I’m choosing to trust the process, to honour the natural rhythms of creation and rest, and to model what I’ve long taught others: that our worth isn’t measured by our productivity, but by our willingness to dance with the ever moving energies within us.

Does this resonate? Do you experience discomfort during periods of fallowness? If yes I’d love to hear from you-just comment below.

If you’re feeling called to the drum but don’t know how to start, or if you’re struggling with impostor syndrome around your own emergence, I’d love to support you through individual mentoring sessions.

Ready to begin your own drumming journey? Explore my pre-recorded courses and workshops below, including drum-based training that will help you access your own inner wisdom and power.

Mark your calendars: Pre-orders for my new book open on June 27th, with exclusive goodies for early supporters. I’ll share the link as soon as it’s available—this book baby is almost ready to meet the world, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

Sometimes the most revolutionary act is to rest.

Pre-recorded online courses (clickable titles)

• Drumming for birth

• • How to use shamanic drumming to support the birth journey.

• Postnatal rebozo massage and closing ritual

• • A beautiful rebozo massage ritual to nurture and heal new mothers.

• Rebozo techniques for an easier birth

• • Rebozo techniques to facilitate a easier birth, pregnancy, and postpartum period.

• The art and science of postpartum wrapping

• • Learn how to wrap the belly and hips after birth.

• Mother blessing course

• • How to run a ceremony to celebrate pregnancy and prepare for the postpartum

• How to prepare for a nurturing postpartum 
  • Everything you need to know to prepare and implement a nurturing postpartum.

Pre-recorded workshops

• Tame your inner impostor workshop

• • Feel safe and confident and offer your gifts to the world

• Beat procrastination with the drum workshop

• • Break Free from Procrastination with the Power of the Drum

• Beat the Distraction: Drumming Techniques for ADHD

• • Learn ADHD-specific strategies that work with your brain