Last week, I had the vision of this herb stripping tool pop in my mind. Itās a little gadget with different sized holes in it, through which you pull a strip of herbs to remove the leaves. This felt particularly weird because I had completely forgotten that I had it and hadn’t used it for years.
The vision clearly showed me that I was being stripped. Stripped of what no longer serves belongs. And thatās how Iāve been feeling for the last couple of months.
This feels both scary and exciting, like I’m being remade and remodelled into a new version of myself. The focus of my work is changing direction completely, going from being focused on mostly birth to supporting women to trust themselves, and I do not yet know what my new offerings will look like.
And of course, itās doing it in its own sweet time (a bit like waiting to go into labour). There is nothing to do but wait, and trust. It feels really uncomfortable, and I oscillate between excitement and fear, quiet acceptance, and frustration. It’s a daily practice for me to work with the resistance, and to surrender into the unknown.
Being stripped is a normal, regular occurrence.
It is a fact for many of us, life has a way of stripping us down. If you’re navigating new motherhood, menopause, career changes, or any other major life shift, there are times when everything you thought you knew about yourself gets turned upside down. I know this very well myself, as someone who evolved from a scientist to an antenatal teacher and doula, to an energy healer and shamanic drummer, and mentor/guide to women during life transitions.
During my own journey from scientist to spiritual guide, I discovered that drumming is one of my most powerful practices. What started with scepticism and disbelief evolved into understanding of how drumming can literally rewire our nervous systems and help us reconnect with our authentic selves.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, if it feels like you’re losing yourself in the chaos of change, drumming might be just the thing you need to reconnect with your inner wisdom. In this space, you can reconnect with a sense of presence and inner peace, from which you can navigate change without the sense of being overwhelmed and scrambling for quick solutions that come from a dysregulated nervous system.Ā
Here are ten ways drumming can support you through life transitions.
1. Nervous system regulation
When life feels out of control, our nervous system often gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode. From that place you can not feel safe, be creative, or think rationally. Drumming helps to regulate your autonomic nervous system, shifting you from hypervigilance to a calmer, more grounded state. The repetitive rhythm literally entrains your brainwaves, moving you from gamma/beta (stress) to alpha (relaxed alertness) state.
This is particularly powerful for women experiencing perimenopause, new motherhood, or any major life metamorphosis where stress hormones can run high.
āMost studies have shown an improvement in psychological health of an individual, with lower stress levels, less anxiety, better mood, higher energy levels and feelings of empowerment.āĀ Yap et al. A systematic review on the effects of active participation in rhythm-centred music making on different aspects of health, 2017
2. Accessing your inner wisdom
Many accomplished women (myself included) have learned to rely almost entirely on our analytical minds. But during major transitions, logic alone doesnāt work. Drumming bypasses the prefrontal cortex and engages deeper brain regions (and the body!) where intuition lives. Percussion rhythms create a trance-like state that allows you to tap into your inner knowing.
Imagine a murky pond with sediment clouding the water: this is your analytical mind, cluttered with thoughts that obscure clarity.
When you strain to see through the murky depths, forcing answers to emerge, you only stir up more sediment. The harder you grasp for insights, the cloudier everything becomes, like when you are frantically searching for a forgotten word.
Drumming creates gentle ripples on the surface that gradually allow the sediment to settle rather than stirring it up. As you stop straining to find answers, they become visible on their own. Your inner wisdom emerges as your analytical mind relaxes its grip.
The drum effortlessly stills the waters of the mind, allowing insights to surface naturally. The answers were always there, waiting for your mind to settle.Ā
3. Release of trauma and tension
Drumming is a full-body experience that helps release trauma stored in your nervous system. The act of striking the drum, combined with the sounds and vibrations, helps your body to move stuck energy and emotions. This somatic release is particularly important for women who’ve experienced birth trauma, relationship endings, or other life upheavals.
One of the most powerful sets of associations created in utero is the association between patterned repetitive rhythmic activity from maternal heart rate, and all the neural patterns of activity associated with not being hungry, not being thirsty, and feeling āsafeā (in the womb)ā¦ Rhythm is regulating. All cultures have some form of patterned, repetitive rhythmic activity as part of their healing and mourning rituals ā dancing, drumming, and swaying. Dr Bruce Perry
4. Rebuilding your sense of power
There’s something primal and empowering about drumming. When life has left you feeling powerless, it reconnects you with your strength. The act of making sound and rhythm, reminds you that you have autonomy and agencyāthat you can create, influence, and direct energy.
This is especially healing for women who’ve been in situations where they felt voiceless or powerless.
At home, I felt in my own space but in the hospital, I felt at the systemās mercy and a lot of vulnerability. The drumming stirred up the empowerment and standing up for myself. The drum calls upon strength and authenticity and celebration. The drumming felt like when you are jogging and you have power music on, it gave me a power boost, like it was saying, āOpen up, relax, trust your body, have faith in the journey.ā It made me feel more confident in my abilities. Leigh (about how having me drumming during her birth made her feel).
5. Creating space for grief and processing
Transitions always involve loss, and even positive changes require us to let go of who we used to be. Drumming creates a sacred container for grief, allowing you to honour what you’re leaving behind while opening space for what’s emerging. It holds you safe as you feel deeply.
I’ve seen women use drumming to process everything from divorce to career changes to the loss of their pre-motherhood identity.
When drumming, the drum becomes an extension of your body. Each beat, when we drop into it, tells the story of how we are feeling, what we are going through and what we need without words. As we drum, particularly with other women in a safe space, that freedom of expression seems to spread into the body itself, creating movement, shaking, dancing, stamping ā somatically allowing emotion, trauma and tension to move, be seen and perhaps released. Then that beat and safe space spreads to the voice. It opens up the throat, our space of authentic truth. It allows us to let out that which is held within ā in roars, tears, tones, words and song. Melonie Syrett
6. Connecting with your authentic self
When you’re stripped of familiar roles and identities, drumming helps you reconnect with your authentic self, with the part of you that exists beyond the mother, the wife, the professional, the daughter, or any other roles. In the beat of the drum, you meet yourself as pure creative energy, beyond societal expectations.
This is transformative for women who’ve lost themselves in pleasing others or conforming to external expectations.
7. Building resilience
Like meditation, drumming builds your capacity to stay present with difficult feelings and emotions. As you learn to come back to the beat, to the rhythm, when your mind wanders or emotions arise, you develop the same skill for navigating real life challenges. This becomes a resource you can draw upon during tough times.
The drum becomes a teacher in staying grounded when everything else feels unstable.
8. Activating your creativity
Many women in transition feel stuck, creatively blocked or uninspired. Drumming allows you to tap into your creativity, the same energy that births babies, builds businesses, and creates art. This spills over into other areas of life, helping you imagine new possibilities for your future.
The trance-like state can open up channels for intuitive insights and creative inspiration. People can experience heightened intuition, artistic expression, or innovative solutions to problems during or after a drum session or journey. These days when I encounter a problem, I make a mental note to ādrum on itā.
I’ve seen women rediscover their artistic gifts, start new businesses, and make bold life changes after beginning a drumming practice.
9. Connecting with something greater than yourself
Drumming has been used for thousands of years to connect with the divine, the ancestors, and the natural world. When you’re feeling isolated or questioning your place in the world, drumming can restore your sense of connection to something larger than yourself, whether you call it God, the universe, or your own inner knowing.
This spiritual connection provides comfort and guidance during times of uncertainty.
10. Integrating science and spirituality
For analytical women who are opening to spiritual dimensions (like I was), drumming offers the perfect bridge. Drumming is backed by cutting edge neuroscience research showing its benefits for brain health, stress reduction, and emotional regulation, while also being a deeply spiritual practice. You don’t have to choose between your rational mind and your spiritual heart, you can integrate both.
This integration is particularly powerful for women, who like me, have been taught that science and spirituality are incompatible.
How do I begin?
If you’re in a life transition and feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like you’re losing yourself, Iām inviting you to explore drumming. You don’t need to be musical or have any experience, just an openness to try and let it guide you back to yourself.
It is simple: find a drum (even tapping on a book or desk will work), put on a timer for 5 minutes, sit quietly, and begin with an intuitive, heartbeat-like rhythm. Let yourself feel the sounds and vibrations, notice what emotions arise, and trust the process.
Your authentic self is waiting to meet you in the drumming. Sometimes, when the analytical mind fails and logic falls short, the wisdom of the drum can guide you back to yourself.
Remember: You’re not broken, you’re breaking open. The drum can help you trust that process.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what that feels like. Please comment below. And you’d like to explore how drumming, along with other neuroscience-backed holistic practices, can support your journey through life transitions, I’d love to connect with you. Or check out my drum mentoring sessions, or my new book, The Beat of Your Own Drum.
