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Sophie Messager

Category: drumming

  • From Guidance to Power: My Journey Through 2024

    From Guidance to Power: My Journey Through 2024

    If you’ve been following my blog since 2017, you’ll know I love doing these year-end reviews – they’re like a public reflective diary, helping me process and share my journey. For about five years now, I’ve also chosen a word for the upcoming year, using an intuitive process that helps me connect with what support I need and how I want to feel. (I’ll share a guided drum journey below so you can find yours too!)

    My word for 2024 was “Guidance” – and boy did the universe deliver! They say be careful what you wish for, and this year brought guidance in ways I never expected, consuming most of my energy and focus throughout the entire year.

    Building a support system: My access to work journey

    One of the biggest changes this year came through successfully applying for an Access to Work grant. Since ADHD is classified as a disability in the UK, I was eligible – but this journey wasn’t one I could navigate alone. For someone with ADHD, where admin and paperwork are my nemesis, the process felt particularly challenging, especially since government systems seem designed to be hardest for those they’re meant to help.

    I was fortunate to have amazing support: my neurodivergent coach Kanan helped draft the initial application and body-doubled with me for the submission. Then came the team at This is Me agency. They were instrumental in helping me map out my support worker needs, advocating during DWP calls (which significantly reduced my anxiety), and tackling the mountain of paperwork – including gathering 24 different quotes from potential support workers!

    The grant approval was both exciting and overwhelming. I received funding for 14 hours of weekly support worker time, ADHD coaching sessions, and equipment like noise-cancelling headphones and a Remarkable tablet. But then came the challenge: how to recruit and manage all these people? Classic ADHD paralysis hit me hard, and it took weeks to actually implement the support. Looking back, I wish I’d reached out to the agency about feeling overwhelmed and prioritised finding the right VA first to help coordinate everything/everyone else. 

    Building my support team

    My first hire was a professional declutterer, who visits weekly. Working with her has been revelatory – finally helping me understand why I could never tackle the chaos alone (and helping me kick out both the shame and the delusion around not being able do it alone). She doesn’t just help organise; she measures spaces and tells exactly what storage solutions to use to prevent clutter from returning. A year on, my desk no longer holds its infamous “pile of doom,” and for the first time in years, I’m not frantically clearing space before my family visits for the holidays. The fact that we’re only halfway through the process after a year shows just how much support I needed.

    Finding Rosslyn, my VA who specialises in supporting people with ADHD, was another game-changer. Instead of overwhelming me with procedure documents and systems, she worked with me gradually to build processes that actually work for my brain. She’s helped identify other crucial support needs, like a website manager and bookkeeper, making my business more streamlined and automated. I was lucky to have had my grant renewed for the coming year too (albeit at a lower rate), which means that I’ll be able to complete the many projects I started.

    Professional evolution: learning, growing, teaching

    • The Business Side

    Working with conscious marketing mentors has been a key part of my journey since 2021. I’ve found that being held in a container of like-minded, heart-based entrepreneurs helps keep me accountable. After three enriching years with George Kao, I sought someone who better matched my needs: Europe-based (for more compatible time zones – I’m a morning person), a woman balancing motherhood with business, and offering affordable mentoring with the same conscious/authentic values. Through George’s community, I found Caroline Leon, whose smaller group size and understanding of work-life balance was exactly what I needed.

    Under Caroline’s guidance, I created my first proper business plan in over 11 years of self-employment. While I set some overly ambitious financial goals without accounting for the time needed for Access to Work implementation and personal development, I see this not as a failure but as valuable learning.

    Looking at what I did accomplish this year:

    • Teaching: 6 in-person courses spanning intuitive drumming, closing the bones, postnatal recovery massage, and rebozo techniques for NHS midwives
    • Community work: I led 13 drum circles and co-facilitated 8 wheel of the year ceremonies
    • One-to-one support: I did 16 closing the bones massages/healing sessions and about as many mentoring sessions.
    • Online courses: I welcomed 142 new students to my courses and ran 3 online masterclasses 
    • Workshop: I ran a new online one about overcoming impostor syndrome.
    • Plant medicine: I ran an evening of connection with the spirit of Mugwort
    • Content creation: I wrote and published 32 blog posts, sent 20 newsletters, shared over 180 social media posts, and recorded 6 podcast interview

     

    • Major milestones

    The highlight of my year was completing my book about drumming as a tool for women’s empowerment – twice the size of my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters. True to my ADHD style, I wrote most of it in an intense six-week sprint before the publisher’s deadline! The book will be published by Womancraft in September 2025, with US distribution through Red Wheel.

    I also finalised the French translation of Why Postnatal Recovery Matters (MĂšres nouvelles, traditions ancestrales, restaurer les rituels de soin du postpartum), due for release in January.

    • Breaking new ground

    This year saw me stepping into new and bigger spaces, delivering drumming demonstrations at two midwifery conferences and speaking about women’s life transitions at the convention of women drummers. I taught my first intuitive drumming course, incorporating rites of passage work around menarche and motherhood – a profound and powerful experience.

    • Beautiful “failures” and their gifts

    My attempt to launch a group program for creating calm and overcoming overwhelm didn’t attract participants despite thorough preparation: market research interviews, content creation, and technical setup. Yet instead of disappointment, I felt relief. This “failure” revealed that I was meant to offer something deeper – focusing on helping sensitive, holistic, heart-centered women reclaim their power in more profound ways.

    Personal growth and healing: a journey to wholeness

    • Finding deep support

    After supporting my child through mental health challenges and experiencing my own struggles, I knew I needed something different from traditional support systems. The NHS counselling I received in Autumn 2023 provided zero relief, leading me to seek alternatives that aligned with my holistic understanding of healing.

    My experience with the NHS’s approach to mental health – both for my child and myself – highlighted a fundamental flaw in modern healthcare. As Josh Schrei beautifully puts it in his podcast The Emerald, “if a plant was sick we wouldn’t say it has ‘wilting syndrome’, we would ask if it’s getting enough food, water, sunshine.”

    Another quote that really exemplifies the narrow, mechanistic view of the modern mental health approach, which ignores our need for community, belonging, and connection, is this one (from an article about Western talking therapists who were sent to support people in Rwanda after the genocide).  

    “Their practice did not involve being outside in the sun where you begin to feel better. There was no music or drumming to get your blood flowing again. There was no sense that everyone had taken the day off so that the entire community could come together to try to lift you up and bring you back to joy. Instead, they would take people one at a time into these dingy little rooms and have them sit around for an hour or so and talk about bad things that had happened to them. We had to ask them to leave” 

    I found my answer in a therapist who bridges psychotherapy and shamanic practice. His two-hour sessions (so much more effective than the standard 50-minute format) provided more healing in a few weeks than months of conventional therapy. By May, I was experiencing a level of peace and spaciousness I hadn’t felt in years – a feeling that continues to deepen.

    The medication journey

    This year brought interesting experiments with different forms of support. As I wrote my book, I discovered the power of “microdosing drumming” – just 5 minutes daily – which created similar positive thought pattern changes to my previous experiences with microdosing mushrooms. This practice, along with pre-recorded therapeutic drum tracks, became crucial tools in my wellbeing toolkit.

    • The HRT chapter

     My journey with HRT, which began in 2023 to soothe my nervous system, took an unexpected turn. I started experiencing concerning side effects that echoed my previous experiences with hormonal contraception in the past. After being fast-tracked to the cancer clinic due to constant bleeding, I made the conscious choice to stop.

    Whilst HRT supported my nervous system back towards balance at a time of desperation, feels like it somehow paused my menopause process. However, now that I’ve stopped, I feel like I wasn’t my true self during the 18 months I took it. It feels a bit like an epidural during labour: yes you no longer feel the pain, but you can also no longer feel the power.

    Stopping HRT led to increased energy and a stronger connection to my power. As Jane Hardwicke Collings explains, oestrogen is the “hormone of accommodation” – it can make us more pleasant and accommodating but might also dampen our true power. Without it, I’ve rediscovered my authentic voice and strength.

    • The ADHD medication experience

    My experience with ADHD medication was equally enlightening. While the medicine I was prescribed, Elvanse, helped tremendously with focus and motivation, particularly in finishing my book, I could sense that I wasn’t being entirely myself, and something told me that the increased productivity wasn’t sustainable long-term. When serious digestive issues arose, and I meditated on it, my body’s message was clear: “slow down.”

    Listening to this wisdom, I chose to stop the medication after 5 months, and embrace a slower pace, particularly during the winter months when nature itself calls for rest. This decision feels deeply aligned with my body’s needs and the natural rhythms of nature.

    Embracing winter’s wisdom and looking forward

    • Winter solstice reflections 

    Last week, co-creating our winter solstice ceremony with friends brought a profound realisation: for the first time, I’m not just enduring the dark season but discovering its beauty. I can appreciate the starkness of winter while quietly celebrating that the light will soon return. Our ceremony will honour both the necessary stillness of darkness and the promise of returning light – a perfect metaphor for my own journey this year.

    • The power of slowing down

    My decision to work quietly through December and take an extended break (December 19th to January 6th) feels aligned with winter’s energy. This slower pace, matching the season when nature herself rests, brings a deep sense of rightness. It’s a conscious choice to honour natural rhythms rather than pushing against them.

    Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximising scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible. Katherine May, from the book Wintering

    Vision for 2025

    • Stepping into power

     Having recorded a drum journey for reviewing 2024 and connecting with 2025’s energy (which I’m sharing with you below), I feel a clear shift emerging. 2025 calls me to fully step into my power as a menopausal woman and mentor. This power has been rising steadily since stopping HRT, and it feels like perfect timing with my new book about drumming and women’s wisdom being published next year.

    I feel called to support other women in accessing their own power and wisdom, contributing to raising humanity’s consciousness. We can no longer thrive while disconnected from nature, community, and what makes our hearts sing. There’s an urgent need to create new frameworks beyond our current constraints.

    My 2024 word was Guidance, and it served its purpose beautifully, bringing me exactly the support and direction I needed. For 2025, my word is Power. It’s about embracing my authentic strength and using it to support others to do the same and create positive change in the world.

    Closing invitation

    As we stand at this threshold between years, I invite you to join me in this reflective practice. Below you’ll find the recorded drum journey to help you review 2024 and connect with the energy of 2025. Now isn’t the time for rational goal-setting, but rather for dreaming and listening to your inner wisdom. Whether you’re seeking to reflect on the past year, find a word for the coming year or simply wanting to connect more deeply with your own truth, the drum is here to guide you.

    Remember, this turning of the year is not about forcing change or setting rigid resolutions. It’s about listening deeply, honouring your journey, and allowing your authentic power to emerge naturally – just as nature knows exactly when to rest and when to bloom.

     

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    #YearInReview #PersonalGrowth #WomensEmpowerment #ADHD #Perimenopause #DrummingForHealing #HolisticHealth #BusinessGrowth #ShamanicDrumming #WinterSolstice #AuthenticLeadership #ConsciousBusiness #WomensWisdom #MenopausePower #SacredBusiness

  • Drum journey to review 2024 and connect with the energy of 2025

    Drum journey to review 2024 and connect with the energy of 2025

    We are approaching the winter solstice, a time of rest, pause, and reflection

    In Celtic traditions, the Winter Solstice (around December 21st) holds deep significance as it marks the longest night of the year and the rebirth of the sun. It represents a turning point in the natural cycle, where the darkest days give way to the return of light. This is a time of reflection, renewal, and hope as the sun begins its gradual ascent again, heralding the return of longer days.

    The Winter Solstice is celebrated with rituals that honour the darkness and the return of the sun, often involving pauses to reflect on the darkness, spirals of light, and the lighting of fires.

    It is a sacred time and a reminder of the cyclical nature of life.

    I found this beautiful text on this website:

    “I stand at the threshold of the longest night, In the stillness where darkness and light entwine, Where time pauses, and the world holds its breath—I call upon the sacred power of this moment.

    I honor the deep darkness, Not as an absence, but as a womb—A sacred space where all life is conceived, Where dreams take root in the fertile soil of silence.

    I welcome the return of the light, The promise of rebirth and renewal. As the sun begins its journey back toward us, I open my heart to the warmth and the wonder of new beginnings.

    In this pause, I listen to the whispers of my soul, To the quiet stirrings of the dreams and desires within, Nurturing the seeds of creation that long to be born. I tend them with care, with faith, and with love.”

    Winter solstice  is a period of both quiet reflection and joyful anticipation, as nature begins its slow transformation towards the awakening of spring. The turning of the wheel of the year from the longest night to the gradual return of light holds special meaning.

    At this time,  I am offering you a guided drum journey to reflect on 2024, and connect with the energy of what 2025 might have in store for you.

    I love this process because it is energetic and heart centred, and more intuitive and joyful than trying to do it with only rationality and goals in mind.

    Through the pulse of the drum, we reconnect with ancestral wisdom celebrating the sacred pause of winter, the time between times, before the light returns again . This festival reminds us of the eternal cycle – life getting ready to emerge from winter’s sleep, embodying nature’s regenerative power, and cycles of death and rebirth.

    Join this drum journey to reflect on the past and tune into the future.  Just set aside 15 min where you can relax sitting or lying down, and enjoy the soothing beats of my Stag drum which was made in ceremony in Glastonbury. If you take this journey I would love to hear what you think. Just comment below.

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  • The wisdom messenger podcast episode 12: Jeff Strong on Jeff Strong Drumming, Neuroscience, and Healing

    The wisdom messenger podcast episode 12: Jeff Strong on Jeff Strong Drumming, Neuroscience, and Healing

    Jeff is a percussionist, composer, recording engineer, researcher, and adult living with ADHD. Jeff is the Director of the Strong Institute – an auditory brain stimulation research organization – and Brain Stim Audio – an interactive brain stimulation music site. He has written 8 books and published dozens of research articles about music and the brain, particularly as it applies to autism and ADHD.

    In this enlightening conversation, we explore the intersection of drumming, neuroscience, and alternative healing practices. Our discussion covers a wide range of topics, from Jeff’s personal journey with ADHD to the neurological benefits of drumming, and from ancient shamanic practices to modern applications of rhythm-based therapies.

    Highlights:

    1. Neurological Benefits of Drumming: Jeff’s research reveals how specific drumming frequencies can synchronize brain waves, potentially aiding individuals with ADHD, autism, and sleep disorders.
    2. Shamanic Practices and Altered States: The conversation delves into the historical roots of shamanic drumming and its ability to induce altered states of consciousness, drawing parallels with psychedelic experiences.
    3. Therapeutic Applications: We discuss the potential of drumming in trauma healing, addiction recovery, and as a calming technique for various conditions.
    4. Cultural Context and Integration: We explore the cultural significance of drumming practices and the potential for integrating these techniques with modern medicine and wellness approaches.
    5. Personal Experiences and Critical Perspectives: We share their personal experiences with medication, Western medicine’s approach to mental health, and alternative therapies, offering critical insights into current treatment paradigms.

    Listen and/or watch the episode on :

    You can find Jeff at at

     

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  • Drum journey to meet the spirit of the summer solstice

    Drum journey to meet the spirit of the summer solstice

    Today is the summer solstice.

    In Celtic traditions, we used to celebrate 8 festivals during the year: the 2 equinoxes, the 2 solstices and the 4 times in between.

    1. Samhain (Oct 31st) – This marks the Celtic New Year and is considered the most important festival. It’s a time to honour the dead and the start of the dark half of the year.
    2. Winter Solstice (Around Dec 21st) – Celebrates the rebirth of the Sun as the days begin growing longer again after the longest night.
    3. Imbolc (Feb 1st) – An early spring festival associated with the first signs of spring and lactating ewes. Celebrates the returning fertility of the earth.
    4. Spring Equinox (Around Mar 21st) – Marking the beginning of the fertile spring season when day and night are equal lengths.
    5. Beltane (May 1st) – A celebration of the full bloom of spring and the fertility of the earth. Traditions include bonfires and May pole dances.
    6. Summer Solstice (Around June 21st) – Celebrating the longest day of the year and the power of the life-giving sun.
    7. Lughnasadh (Aug 1st) – The first of the three autumn harvest festivals, marking the beginning of the harvest season.
    8. Autumn Equinox (Around Sept 21st) – The second harvest festival, signalling the start of autumn when day and night are again equal.

    These eight festivals formed the basis of the ancient Celtic calendar system and marked the key points in the agricultural year.

    In Celtic traditions, the summer solstice (around June 21st) was one of the most important seasonal festivals celebrated. It marked the longest day of the year and the height of the sun’s power and brightness. The summer solstice was a celebration of the fertility of the earth and the blossoming of nature in full bloom during the summer months. It signified the transition from spring into the bountiful summer season.

    Common solstice traditions included lighting huge bonfires, as well as feasting, music, and general merriment.

    The summer solstice is a powerful and sacred time that honours the life-giving force of the sun at its peak. Celebrations often have an air of passion, wildness, and connectivity to the fertile cycles of the natural world. It is a joyous fire festival about the vibrancy of summer’s arrival.

    It is also a time which makes the days starting to decrease again as we turn towards the darkest part of the year once more.

    Summer solstice fires burning bright
    Spring returns with warmth and light
    Summer blooms in full array
    Drummers sounds on longest day.

    I’m back from a wonderful drum birthing pilgrimage in Glastonbury. I made a higher heart of avalon drum there, with a hoop made of oak and hide made of Stag. We blessed and bathed in private ceremony in the white spring, crafted out drums in the Avalon room near the goddess temple, and finally took our new drums to the Chalice well and the Tor, presenting them to the directions there. I have recorded this journey with this new drum. May its energy help bring more peace in your heart.

    On this day, I am offering you a guided drum journey to meet the spirit of the summer solstice, one where you can ask questions and gain wisdom about the energies of this time of the year. Where you can, maybe, reflect on the balance of dark and light in your life.
    Through the pulse of the drum, we reconnect with ancestral wisdom celebrating the summer solstice. This festival reminds us of the eternal cycle – life emerging from winter’s sleep, embodying nature’s regenerative power, and cycles of death and rebirth.

    Join this drum journey honouring the summer solstice. Let the rhythms awaken our inner light and power, clearing stagnation as summer’s energy rises.  Just set aside 15 min where you can relax sitting or lying down, and enjoy.If you take this journey I would love to hear what you think. Just comment below.

     

     

  • Beating the ‘shroom : Drumming as a safer alternative to psychedelics

    Beating the ‘shroom : Drumming as a safer alternative to psychedelics

    As someone deeply immersed in drum research for an upcoming book and regularly practicing drumming, I’ve started to make connections between the state of consciousness changes and brain rewiring that occur when taking psychedelic substances and those caused by drumming.

    Personal Experiences

    • I’ve noticed that drumming affects my brain profoundly in a positive way. When listening to Jeff Strong’s drumming tracks designed to aid focus, I sometimes feel sensations in my brain similar to when I’ve taken ADHD medication.
    • Recently, I started a practice of drumming for a few minutes at the beginning and end of each day. After a couple of weeks, I began noticing negative, previously unconscious, and unhelpful thought patterns, allowing me to interrupt and replace them with more helpful ones easily. I experienced a similar effect when I started microdosing mushrooms a couple of years ago.

    Connections to Other Disciplines

    Jeff Strong’s Insights

    • I recently started Jeff Strong‘s course, “Beyond Shamanism.” Jeff is an American drummer with ADHD who has been using the drum in healing and therapeutic ways since the 1990s, developing drumming tracks to change moods and aid focus.
    • Jeff explains that most cultures use percussion to change consciousness and enter trance-like states, while the few that didn’t develop percussion used psychedelic plants instead. Traditionally, only about 10% of cultures used psychedelics, while 90% used percussion.

    I want to explain how drumming changes consciousness and why I believe it to be superior to psychedelics. But before I do that I need to briefly explain how our brains oscillate between states of consciousness.

    Altered States of Consciousness

    Consciousness exists on a spectrum, ranging from ordinary waking state to deep sleep, with various altered states in between. Brain waves oscillate between different states: delta, theta, alpha, beta, and gamma: 

    1. Delta Waves (0.1-4 Hz): The slowest brainwaves, associated with deep, dreamless sleep and unconscious states. They are important for healing and revitalisation
    2. Theta Waves (4-8 Hz): These are Present during light sleep, meditation, and deep relaxation. They are linked to intuition, creativity, and access to the subconscious mind. They can induce a trance-like state
    3. Alpha Waves (8-13 Hz): These occur during relaxed wakefulness and light meditation. They are associated with feeling calm, yet alert and focused. They facilitate mind-body integration and reduce stress
    4. Beta Waves (13-30 Hz): These are dominant during normal waking consciousness and active thinking. High levels of beta waves are linked to anxiety, stress, and restlessness. Low levels are ideal for focused mental activity
    5. Gamma Waves (30+ Hz): The highest frequency brainwaves. They are associated with heightened perception, consciousness, and information processing. They are linked to learning, memory formation, and cognitive functioning

    The Neuroscience of Drumming

    Parallels Between Drumming and Psychedelics

    • Both drumming and psychedelic substances have the potential to induce altered states of consciousness and facilitate neuroplasticity.
    • Psychedelics work by interacting with specific receptors in the brain, leading to profound shifts in consciousness, introspection, and sensory perceptions.

    Differences Between Drumming and Psychedelics

    • Mode of Action: Psychedelics induce effects through direct chemical interactions with brain receptors, while drumming works through rhythmic stimulation of the auditory system and its impact on brain wave patterns.
    • Control and Regulation: Drumming allows for the ability to control and regulate the depth of the altered state by adjusting rhythm, tempo, and volume, or stopping entirely. Psychedelic experiences, once initiated, can be more challenging to control or terminate.
    • Legal Considerations: The use of psychedelic substances is generally illegal, while drumming is a widely accepted and legal practice across cultures.
    • Access and cost: Accessing psychedelics can be complex and expensive due to legal ramifications, while drumming tracks are widely available for free, and drums can be inexpensive.
    • Integration and aftereffects: Psychedelic experiences can be intense and overwhelming, requiring careful integration and processing. Drumming, being a more gradual and controlled process, allows for smoother integration of insights and experiences into daily life.
    • Building new skills: With psychedelics you always need the substance to enter the altered state of consciousness. With drumming, over time you build the skills to be able to enter that state at will, building the skills like you build a muscle, and eventually you can even do it without the help of the drum (in that state, however, the drum usually helps you go deeper)

    In conclusion, while drumming and psychedelics share the potential for inducing altered states and facilitating neuroplasticity, drumming offers distinct advantages as a legal, culturally accepted, and more controllable means of accessing altered states. Drumming potentially provides a safer and more accessible avenue for personal growth, therapeutic benefits, and expanded awareness.

    If you would like to try for yourself how drumming can alter your state of consciousness, a simple way to start is to do a drum journey, which is a guided meditation with the drum. Many of my students report more success doing this than with meditation, because the sound entrainment requires no effort. There are several drum journeys available on my Youtube Channel.

    I would be curious to hear about your experiences, feel free to comment below.

  • A drum journey to meet the spirit of Beltane

    A drum journey to meet the spirit of Beltane

    Today is Beltane.

    In Celtic traditions, we used to celebrate 8 festivals during the year: the 2 equinoxes, the 2 solstices and the 4 times in between.

    1. Samhain (Oct 31st) – This marks the Celtic New Year and is considered the most important festival. It’s a time to honour the dead and the start of the dark half of the year.
    2. Winter Solstice (Around Dec 21st) – Celebrates the rebirth of the Sun as the days begin growing longer again after the longest night.
    3. Imbolc (Feb 1st) – An early spring festival associated with the first signs of spring and lactating ewes. Celebrates the returning fertility of the earth.
    4. Spring Equinox (Around Mar 21st) – Marking the beginning of the fertile spring season when day and night are equal lengths.
    5. Beltane (May 1st) – A celebration of the full bloom of spring and the fertility of the earth. Traditions include bonfires and May pole dances.
    6. Summer Solstice (Around June 21st) – Celebrating the longest day of the year and the power of the life-giving sun.
    7. Lughnasadh (Aug 1st) – The first of the three autumn harvest festivals, marking the beginning of the harvest season.
    8. Autumn Equinox (Around Sept 21st) – The second harvest festival, signalling the start of autumn when day and night are again equal.

    These eight festivals formed the basis of the ancient Celtic calendar system and marked the key points in the agricultural year.

    Beltane marks the middle of Spring, and the beginning of summer energy. It stands opposite to Samhain. Celebrated around May 1st (when the Hawthorn blossoms), it honours the return of life and fertility to the world as the Earth awakens with warmth and light after the winter months. Beltane festivities traditionally involve lighting bonfires, dancing around a Maypole, Music (and drumming), choosing a May Queen and May King for the year, and feasting in joyous celebration of spring’s renewal.  It signifies the transition into the season of new growth, recognizing the cyclical rhythms of the natural world.  Beltane carries a spirit of merriment, passion, and connection to the bountiful Earth.

    Beltane fires burning bright

    Spring returns with warmth and light

    Hawthorn flowers in full bloom

    Dancers spin to drummers’ tune.

    Over the last year I have carried the energy of Beltane and embodied the divine feminine as I was crowned May Queen at Beltane in 2023. Over the last year I have co-crafted each and everyone of the wheel of the year for my community and held the ceremonies. This has given me a deep attunement to the changing energies of the seasons, a moment to pause and appreciate this, and to serve my community. This means that, for the first time in my 53 years on this earth, I have not dreaded winter, but welcomed its going-within wisdom.

    Last weekend we celebrated Beltane again and I laid down my crown, in a very powerful and profound ritual death and rebirth ceremony, where I received guidance from the earth about how to bring more peace to my heart.

    On this day of Beltane, I feel called to offer a guided drum journey to meet the spirit of Beltane, one where we can ask questions and gain wisdom about the energies of this time of the year.

    Through the pulse of the drum, we reconnect with ancestral wisdom celebrating Beltane – the transformation of spring’s rebirth. This festival reminds us of the eternal cycle – life emerging from winter’s sleep, embodying nature’s regenerative power, and cycles of death and rebirth.

    Join this drum journey honouring Beltane. Let the rhythms awaken our inner wildness, clearing stagnation as spring energy rises. Harness Beltane’s fertile energy to manifest visions, and birth the blossoming goddess within. 

    Just set aside 15 min where you can relax sitting or lying down, and enjoy.

    If you take this journey I would love to hear what you think. Just comment below.

    Play

  • A drum journey to meet the spirit of the Spring Equinox

    A drum journey to meet the spirit of the Spring Equinox

    Today is the Spring Equinox. One spiritual practice that has had a powerful transformative effect on me, and which I have not shared about in detail in this blog before, has been to become involved in wheel of the year ceremonies.

    In Celtic traditions, we used to celebrate 8 festivals during the year: the 2 equinoxes, the 2 solstices and the 4 times in between.

    1. Samhain (Oct 31st) – This marks the Celtic New Year and is considered the most important festival. It’s a time to honour the dead and the start of the dark half of the year.
    2. Winter Solstice (Around Dec 21st) – Celebrates the rebirth of the Sun as the days begin growing longer again after the longest night.
    3. Imbolc (Feb 1st) – An early spring festival associated with the first signs of spring. Celebrates the returning fertility of the earth.
    4. Spring Equinox (Around Mar 21st) – Marking the beginning of the fertile spring season when day and night are equal lengths.
    5. Beltane (May 1st) – A celebration of the full bloom of spring and the fertility of the earth. Traditions include bonfires and May pole dances.
    6. Summer Solstice (Around June 21st) – Celebrating the longest day of the year and the power of the life-giving sun.
    7. Lughnasadh (Aug 1st) – The first of the three autumn harvest festivals, marking the beginning of the harvest season.
    8. Autumn Equinox (Around Sept 21st) – The second harvest festival, signalling the start of autumn when day and night are again equal.

    These eight festivals formed the basis of the ancient Celtic calendar system and marked the key points in the agricultural year.

    Over the last 3 years I have progressed from first attending these ceremonies, to becoming involved in co-creating some of them, and finally over the last year as I was crowned May Queen for the year, being deeply involved in co-crafting and running each and every one of them. The gift this has given me is a deep attunement to the changing energies of the seasons, a moment to pause and reflect, set intentions, and to serve my community. This means that, for the first time in my 53 years on this earth, I have not dreaded winter, but welcomed its going-within wisdom.

    The Spring Equinox heralds in a season of renewal, rebirth, and balance. I used to believe that Spring was all about going forward, but now I know that it’s a dance in the balance: some days are warm, some cold, the energy seems to be going back and forth. The Spring Equinox invites us to embark on a sacred journey, where we can attune ourselves to the cosmic dance of light and dark, and tap into the primordial energies that give birth to new beginnings.

    So I feel called to offer a guided drum journey to meet the spirit of the Spring Equinox, one where we can ask questions and gain wisdom about the energies of this time of the year.

    Through the rhythmic pulse of the drum, we can connect with the ancient wisdom of our ancestors, who celebrated this celestial event as a time of profound transformation. The spring equinox reminds us of the eternal cycle of life, death, and regeneration, and empowers us to shed the layers of winter’s slumber and embrace the potential that lies within us.

    Drumbeats echo through the earth,

    Heralding the equinox’s birth.

    Balance shifts, light extends its stay,

    Ancient rhythms guide our way.

    Join me on this drum journey, as we honour the return of the light and harness the potent energies of the spring equinox to manifest our dreams, clear blockages, and awaken our inner goddess.

    If you take this journey I would love to hear what you think. Just comment below.

    Play

     

  • ADHD hacks: the tricks I use to overcome procrastination and actually get sh*t done

    ADHD hacks: the tricks I use to overcome procrastination and actually get sh*t done

    Since I got diagnosed with ADHD last year, one of the most positive aspects is that I’ve stopped beating myself up about certain things I’ve never been good at. For example, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I cannot function at my best without external accountability.

    How I create accountability for myself

    When I work for clients it’s easy. I love to help people and to be of service. To help someone I can research things endlessly, and it feels both purposeful and effortless. However, making things happen in my business on a day to day basis, in particular back of house stuff like updating my website, or endless admin tasks, is very difficult for me to do. I procrastinate often, and the undone tasks weigh on my mind.

    Over the last few years, I’ve learnt to create external deadlines for serving people. For example, I regularly create webinars or courses, then I’m in the energy of service and it makes everything much easier to do, even doing the many admin tasks that go with it.

    But I cannot create this for myself every single day. However, since exploring what ADHD is about, I learnt why body doubling is extremely helpful for neurodivergent people to overcome getting challenging tasks done.

    Using body doubling/co-working apps

    For the last 3 years I have used Focusmate, a coworking app that connects you via video to people across the world, where you spend a couple of minutes speaking your intentions for the session, and then co-working silently whilst remaining on video, so you have external accountability. Business mentor George Kao introduced me to this app in 2021. I was sceptical at first, but I tried the free 3 sessions per week, and it made such a difference to my work that week that I immediately signed up (it’s only about $5 a month).  I’ve been using it ever since, and my review of 2023 from the app tells me that I did 233 sessions with 210 partners from 41 different countries. I’ve met some pretty cool people in the process too.

    Focusmate explains how it works:

    “Body doubling is working on any task with another person present, without them participating in your task. The presence (in real life or virtual) of another person who is also trying to focus on their own task helps you stay on track and get things done. Additionally, it boosts your motivation, making the task at hand more enjoyable and achievable.”

    In late 2023 I was awarded an Access to work Grant, which is a government grant to support people with disabilities (more on that in a different post). As part of my grant I got introduced to another co-working app called Flown. When it was suggested by the disability agency supporting me through my grant application, I did not see the point at first as I was getting on really well with Focusmate. However, I decided to give it a try and I’m really glad I did. Flown is a completely different ball game, because the sessions are group based and facilitated by paid facilitators. And contrary to Focusmate which only offers 25 or 50 min focus sessions, Flown has sessions ranging from 30 min to 2h. I like the 2h session, and often use 2 of these in the morning, which is my best time to focus on deep work. There also seems to be more Europeans on Flown, because it’s based in the UK, which means more sessions available when I prefer to work.

    Flown is more expensive than Focusmate, but it’s soo worth it. Last week I attended a review of the month for January within the app. Within an hour, I’d reviewed January AND planned what I needed to do in February, and it was super easy and fun. I’ve always had resistance to doing this, and in the past I used to pay £50 a month to be within a group where a similar session was facilitated. 

    Flown costs from ÂŁ20 a month (ÂŁ15 if you pay yearly, and you can even get lifetime membership which is what I got). You can try it for a month for free, and if you choose to join, you can use my affiliate link to get 20% off).

    Small business accountability groups

    The above helps with day to day stuff (and I’ve seen that Flown even offers review of the year sessions), but for the overall business planning/goals, and growing my business, I’ve learnt that I do better within a small group container run by a business coach. 

    I’m working with a new business coach this year called Caroline Leon. I decided to switch after 3 years working with another amazing business mentor called George Kao. There were several reasons for this: George is in the US and the sessions were late in the day for my liking ( I’m a morning person and focus much better early in the day). I also wanted to work within a smaller group.

    By taking part in small group coaching in the past, I’ve learnt that I achieve better results within the container of a small group of people. In early 2023 I was inside such a small group with healer Rebecca Wright, and I had the most successful financial month that I’d had since I started self employment 11 years ago. So I knew that, if I was going to grow my business, I needed to invest in such a group. 

    I took Caroline’s business planning workshop in December to see if I liked her. It was affordable at £50, and I really liked her approach. I’ve been in her mastermind group since the January and I’m liking her approach, the pace of the work, and the type of people she attracts (heart based solopreneurs like me,). The group is full of coaches, massage therapists and healers. I love Caroline’s no nonsense bottom up approach (for example the first task she’s encouraged us to do is to draft an ideal weekly working schedule- something I’ve dabbled in doing but still felt resistance to because it makes me feel constrained). The fact is that, if we do not decide what we want to prioritise in our business, then our clients often dictate it for us.

    Thanks to Caroline and a co-working session we did this week, for the first time in 11 years I’ve created a rough business plan for this year. I’ve written down how much I plan to earn AND broken down each of my offerings and how much of the income each one will represent.  I made a mind map drawing about it using water colours- because I find using a creative process helps me put some fun in tasks that I otherwise find dry and difficult to do. 

    Over the last 3 years my main source of income has been my online courses, but this year I also want to offer one to one mentoring for women through life transitions, in a doula style model (working with me for a minimum of 3 months with regular calls) , and also start offering a small group program. I’ll be offering taster sessions at a reduced cost soon and also running free interviews about the group program, so feel free to message me to register interest if you would be interested in taking part in these.

    The above covers the practical stuff, and I want to mention the emotional stuff as well.

    Managing emotions

    Procrastination is about emotions, and feeling discomfort about starting something we don’t want to do (overwhelm being a common issue for ADHD people). So addressing the emotions is an important part of the equation. A couple of years ago I took a course called Doodle your emotions, and it gave me an amazing tool to coach myself through difficult emotions. 

    Here’s an example of a doodle I made when I did not want to start a task and it felt overwhelming. It took me all of 10 minutes to shift the discomfort and finally get started.

    Now, with my access to work grant I’m getting ADHD coaching all year for free as well which I know will make an enormous difference. My coach will hopefully help me understand my emotions and put things in place to overcome challenges.

    Emotional dysregulation is a big part of being neurodivergent, and when running a business, you cannot fix this with systems that tackle the “doing” without tackling what’s doing on inside. I spent years for example thinking that if I found the right planning diary (I bought many different ones) all my business and procrastination problems would be solved. Not only it never worked, but it also contributed to feelings of inadequacy and shame.

    Changing consciousness and mood with drumbeats

    I’m writing a book about how drumming supports women through birth and life transitions, in my research for it I’ve found drummer Jeff Strong. He’s got ADHD and in his book, Different Drummer, he describes how certain drum rhythms can positively affect both mood and focus. I signed up for the free trial of his app, Brain Stim Audio, this week and the results are amazing. It feels as effective as taking ADHD meds for me. And this is from someone who normally cannot work to music because it distracts me too much.

    Giving myself permission to rest

    Finally, some days I’m just not feeling it and I’ve learnt that, when I resist my body’s need for rest (I still find it challenging to do this, as I carry some shame about not being productive all of the time), I pay the price dearly, because what happens is that I don’t achieve anything and I also don’t give myself the permission to rest. Then I feel crappy & annoyed at myself. I first learnt about it when I was still having a predictable menstrual cycle (link to blog), and then more recently (other blog). 

    I call it a f*ck it day. When I give myself the gift of rest, I often rebound very quickly afterwards, whereas when I don’t do that, the low energy often drags on for days.

    Does any of this resonate? Do you find overcoming procrastination challenging? What have you found helpful? Please comment below.

  • Drumming a New Path: My Journey of Healing and Growth in 2023

    Drumming a New Path: My Journey of Healing and Growth in 2023

    Last year nearly broke me. Join me as I reflect on an epic battle for my child, my own mental health hurdles and ADHD discovery, and how making a drum unlocked deep healing, purpose and exciting new ventures. This is a story of overcoming obstacles through surrender and belief in my ability to steer life’s challenges into growth and meaning. From family struggles to launching a podcast and book, I’m opening up about my most challenging and transformative year yet. If you’ve ever felt lost or close to giving up, only to discover you’re far more powerful than you realised, this one’s for you.

    When I look back at 2023, I feel mostly glad that the year is over and that I’m starting anew. Last year carried a lot of discomfort for me. It was healing but also painful. The coming year feels much more hopeful – it really has a new beginning feel. There were many positive things for me and my family in 2023, but mostly, because things had improved so much from where we were, I found myself grieving and finally processing the hard challenges I’d had to cope with in the previous couple of years.

    My family/personal life:

    2023 started on a dark note for me as my youngest child was still struggling with severe mental health issues, hadn’t been in school for 18 months, and had anxiety so severe they could barely leave the house. Early in the year I battled the local authority to secure funding (EHCP) for the small, holistic specialist school I knew was the only right fit, and key for recovery and healing. It was an epic fight. I had a private advocate’s help but it took months of paperwork, assessments, school visits, report writing and constant chasing. The underfunded, understaffed medical and education systems threw up roadblocks at every turn, but after nearly 18 months we won. It was worth the battle, and I’d do it all over again for my child, but I found it physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, and soul crushing. I got diagnosed with ADHD last year (more on that later), and one of the issues with ADHD is finding tedious admin tasks REALLY difficult to do. If you want a flavour of what I experienced, read this graphic story about a mother battling getting support for her child with ADHD. It describes the French system but it’s very similar to my experience.

    When the letter came a few weeks later saying we had been successful, I thought I would feel elated, but instead, I felt war torn and weary, like had been a warrior for a long time, and I was finally putting down my armour, sword and shield. I felt exhausted. I booked a much needed family holiday to celebrate, and to act as a transition before my child started in the new school.  But then I got a kidney stone, spent an awful night in A&E begging for pain relief, fainted and gave myself a concussion. Rather than the holiday I’d planned, I spent a week in bed, wallowing in self-pity.

    In April my child started the new school, which was nurturing and supportive beyond my hopes. Three months in, my once housebound child happily went on a residential school trip. I also successfully applied for Disability Living Allowance, which opened up benefits that made attending certain events less stressful for my child. Over the last 3 years I’ve worked with therapists and coaches to stay regulated despite my child’s mental health crises, which used to unravel me. Recently, as my child had an anxiety attack on an outing, I was able to help her re-regulate in minutes. My own regulation was key.

    After the school win, I collapsed, my body giving out after so much chronic stress and survival mode. My health crashed. I was only up for walking my dog and resting and my mood was terrible. My coach invited me for a free restorative yoga session, reminding me my nervous system was fried. She helped me realise that, while perimenopause played a role, there was a lot more going on. Though I’d sworn off medications, she explained that I could try HRT without committing long-term.  I also reached out to holistic menopause mentor Kate Codrington, who shared that some of her clients used HRT to give themselves the space they need to get more holistic practices in place. Shortly afterwards, I started HRT, and within a couple of weeks  I noticed a huge difference in my mood, energy and sleep. Whereas before I felt crippled with anxiety, woke up several times a night with night sweats (which would then trigger anxiety that would keep me awake), and felt completely exhausted, I started sleeping better, feeling calmer and more positive, and having more energy. From that calmer vantage point I was able to look at my life and start putting more positive steps in place.

    I also got an ADHD diagnosis, which explained my paralysis around boring tasks, but hyperfocus when excited. With support, I applied for and secured an Access to Work grant for coaching, decluttering help and more. With all this support in place, I’m sure that my life and business are going to improve massively this year. Getting my older child assessed for ADHD and autism was also a big step. We await the final diagnosis this month.

    ADHD is a paradoxical beast. When I get excited about something, my productivity is off the scale (I wrote my first book in 6 months, and wait until you read my work achievements below), and I finally understand why people keep asking me how I do all these things. Whilst exciting things are effortless, boring or difficult tasks can feel insurmountable, and I can procrastinate for months on end, whilst constantly thinking about the task I’m not doing and beating myself up about it.

    My work life in 2023:

    From mid-2022 to March 2023 I had to pause my work to support my child and attend constant medical appointments and tutoring. But with my online courses ticking over, I still managed to keep my business afloat.

    When my child restarted school after so long, I found myself having more time to dedicate to my business again. I had stopped working as a doula a year before, and I felt frustrated that the next “calling” wasn’t still showing itself. Looking back I can see that there just wasn’t the space in my life for it before. But now that space was available I grew impatient and frustrated. Kanan helped me get out of this stuckness by reminding me that often we don’t know what works until we try. She asked me what would excite me and I said teaching drumming to support birth, but I worried this was too niche. 

    In a bid to get myself space to heal and spend time in nature doing stuff I loved, I booked onto Melonie Syrett (aka The Drum Woman) sacred women drum circle facilitator training. I booked this for myself as a retreat because I knew that spending 4 days immersed in sacred work on the land, in peace, away from the hustle and bustle and needs for daily life, would do me a lot of good. The training delivered this and more. I spent 4 days camping at the Clophill Centre, immersed in nature. The weather was glorious and we spent our time inside an roundhouse, or in the woods or meadows. It was everything I had hoped for and more. My nervous system calmed right down.  It was very healing.

    During the training I made a beautiful drum, created with the intention to lead drum circles. When you make a drum it carries the medicine of what you went through when you crafted it. We spent time with each hide asking it if it was the right one for our drum. When it came to the lacing, she explained that those of us who liked things to be perfect could consider making a messy drum. I remember thinking: I don’t want my drum to be messy! But my hide had other ideas. I hadn’t realised how hard it would be to work with horse hide. As the hide was so thick, I had to keep cutting bigger holes for the lacing and then passing the lacing through them was very time consuming. By the time most people had finished their drum, I was only a quarter of the way through with mine. We worked inside a marquee and it was 30 degrees outside and I was sweating profusely. I found it challenging and uncomfortable. In the end I had to finish my drum alone in the evening,  3h behind everyone else. But I wouldn’t stop or give up until I was done. My tenacity  making this drum was the same quality I had used through the fight to get my child support. In the making of this drum I also had to let go of control and surrender to some aspects of it that didn’t fit with my original plan. This was another deep lesson I had over the last couple of years, to learn to surrender, when before my default setting was to try and control everything when things got difficult.

    When my new drum was dry and ready to play a few days later, I did a guided journey to meet his spirit. He told me that its name was mountain rider and that its medicine was to help overcome obstacles. The drum’s medicine kicked things into hyperdrive. I offered a free webinar about drumming for birth and 100 people signed up. I then decided to offer a course to teach people how to drum during birth.  When I started researching the topic of drumming and birth I realised that almost nobody had written about this. This made me incredibly excited because I am a pioneer at heart and there I was in really new territory, and one that also made use of my science and spirituality bridging gift. 

    I was contacted by the International journal of birth and parent education (IJBPE) to write an article about drumming and birth. This was the first time in history that something about this topic was published in a scientific journal. I taught a group of women from 6 different countries how to use the drum to support birth. I wrote 6 blog posts about drumming. I made a drum from amniotic membranes. I ran drum circles and wrote case studies for my course, reflecting and refining my skills and gaining appreciation for what I did.

    I decided to write a book about drumming and supporting women through life transitions, approached a new publisher, wrote 6 chapters in a month to meet the submission deadline, and the project was accepted. I started a podcast, The Wisdom Messenger, to share the wisdom of trailblazing women bridging science and spiritual knowledge. I gave a talk about the science of drumming at the first convention of women drummers and makers. I also wrote another article about drumming and birth for the Green Parent magazine, which is coming out this month, and I’m leading a drum journey workshop at the IJBPE conference in April.

    Beside the above, in 2023 I also:

    • I kept my business going and whilst my income dropped a little, it was still steady
    • I launched a new online course about drumming for birth, bringing my total number of courses to 6. 
    • Over 100 new students joined my courses, bringing my total number of students to nearly 800, from 30 different countries. 
    • I ran 3 in person courses (including a rebozo course for NHS midwives)
    • I taught 4 webinars, the most popular one was attended over 200 people
    • I ran monthly drum circles
    • I did 20 individual healing sessions (Reiki, Drumming, Closing the bones)
    • I supported 3 births (I’m not a doula anymore but when people get in touch for help or friends give birth, I simply cannot leave them without support)
    • I published 25 blog posts and over 200 posts on social media.
    • I was interviewed on several podcasts, and invited to lead sessions in other people’s courses
    • I started reviewing the French translation of my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, which is being published this year.

    A lot of this success was due to having worked with authentic marketing coach George Kao.

    My spiritual/healing/growth work:

    Falling apart starts a death and rebirth process, where we rebuild from the ashes. This has been true for me. The pain provoked proportional healing and growth. My need to understand and better myself continued. I worked with a neurodivergent coach for 9 months and also had human design and MAP sessions. I tried some talking therapies but found the Western approach too cognitive and rushed. A more integrative, somatic approach resonates more. I continued microdosing plant medicine. It helps me identify and change unhelpful thought patterns. 

    I carried on with my weekly dawn woods drum circles with my 2 drum sisters. This feels very sacred and the space for deep sharing afterwards is precious.  As a friend who shared her drum story with me said “Drumming is like church, but better”. Deepening my nature connection through year-round cold water swimming, daily dog walks and wheel of the year ceremonies brought me grounding and joy. 

    I listened to countless audiobooks and podcasts about growth. Some of my favourite books were:

    • How to be the love you seek by Nicole LePera
    • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
    • Radical Wholeness by Philip Shepherd
    • Entangled life by Merlin Sheldrake
    • The soul of money by Lynne Twist
    • How to keep house whilst drowning by KC Davies
    • Your brain’s not broken by Tamara Rosier

    In conclusion

    This has been an uncomfortable year, and also one of tremendous learning and growth. This is the year where I have started healing from the challenges I had in previous years, the beginning of a journey into becoming a happier, more whole self.  2024 truly feels like a new beginning for me, a year where I can really focus on growing myself, growing my business and helping others do the same.

    My word of the year for 2022 was Expansion (in last year’s blog post there is a link for a word of the year meditation). My word for the year in 2024 is Guidance.

    Someone shared this poem with me at a retreat last week and it feels apt:

    For a New Beginning

    by John O’Donohue

    In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
    Where your thoughts never think to wander,
    This beginning has been quietly forming,
    Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

    For a long time it has watched your desire,
    Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
    Noticing how you willed yourself on,
    Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

    It watched you play with the seduction of safety
    And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
    Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
    Wondered would you always live like this.

    Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
    And out you stepped onto new ground,
    Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
    A path of plenitude opening before you.

    Though your destination is not yet clear
    You can trust the promise of this opening;
    Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
    That is at one with your life’s desire.

    Awaken your spirit to adventure;
    Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
    Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
    For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

     

     

  • From impostor to trailblazer: learning to trust your inner pioneer

    From impostor to trailblazer: learning to trust your inner pioneer

    If you are worried about starting something new, read this.

    A few months ago, when I felt stuck after a long time not creating, my neurodivergent coach reminded me that sometimes we do not know what’s right until we try it. She asked me what would excite me. I said that I wanted to teach a course about drumming for birth. 

    I had fears around the fact that it was so niche that nobody would want it. I ran a free webinar. It had a 100 people signup, and was attended by 60 people so I thought, let’s try.

    I nearly cancelled the course because a week or two before I was due to start I only had 3 or 4 students. Then I decided to run it anyway, as a small early adopter group, knowing it would be special to do this, even if it didn’t make sense financially, and I also knew that, inside the container of creating this course, new things would be born. I thrive when I provide knowledge and support to others.

    In the end 10 women signed up, from 6 different countries, and the live sessions on zoom I held over the summer were beautiful and intimate. I loved them. My students had powerful transformative experiences. I get exciting messages from them telling me they’ve drummed at a birth in the hospital. They got tremendous personal growth by doing the course too.

    And now, 4 months on, I have 17 students from 9 different countries. I’ve published an article in a scientific journal about drumming and birth. I’ve started writing a book about drumming, birth, and women’s life transitions. I got the book project accepted by a publisher I’m really excited to work with. I started a podcast. I’m giving a talk about the science of drumming at the convention of women drummers next week, and I’ve been invited to 2 other conferences next year. I’m teaching an in person course in January. I’ve also had my request to write about it in a parenting magazine accepted.

    Don’t give up on trying something new just because you are the first person to do it.

    The pioneer’s energy

    Until recently I couldn’t see my gifts. I didn’t think that being able to do things that came easily to me was a big deal. The crisis I experienced over the last few years, working with various coaches and therapists, getting diagnosed with ADHD, and generally becoming a lot kinder to myself, has helped me understand and acknowledge my gifts. I can see what I’m really good at now.

    I should trust this pioneering energy, because it’s been there in my life.  It was there when I was 8 years old and I already knew I would become a scientist. It was there to hold my path steady when I was told, aged 16, that I shouldn’t pursue a career in science because I wasn’t good enough in maths.

    It was there when I was a biology student, and I refused to study molecular biology despite everyone else studying it. I wanted to study physiology. I was told it was old fashioned. I pursued it anyway and it made me a very desirable employee later on as molecular biologists where two a penny and very few people had the “old fashioned” knowledge I had. It was there during my PhD and 2 postdocs when I questioned everything I was told by my supervisor and did things my way.

    It was there when both my 2 postdocs and my first biotech start-up job led each of my bosses and collaborators to publish articles in a higher impact journal than they had even done before. When I shared ideas that more senior people hadn’t thought about. It was there when the biggest medical journal in the world, The New England Journal of Medicine, made an editorial decision to include animal data for the first time in the journal (that normally only published human data)  because the story we had was so compelling (a gene without which there was no puberty).

    It was there whenever I changed jobs or career as within a few years I became a name in my field. It was there when I left science to focus on supporting expectant and new parents. When I flew instructors from Germany I wanted to train as a babywearing consultant because there was no training in the UK.  It was there in my obsessive learning, in my desire to understand everything about so many subjects, reading, talking to people and attending countless study days. 

    It was there in my ability to metathink, in my looking at topics from a bird’s eye view and seeing links across far reaching topics (something I now understand to be one of the gifts of my ADHD).

    It was there when I started integrating osteopathic knowledge with rebozo techniques, when I created a new postnatal massage course with an osteopath, when I taught antenatal courses and used my drum to do practise contractions, when I created workshops and online courses about topics that didn’t exist before. It was there when I fought and succeeded to get insurance companies to insure babywearing, closing the bones and rebozo techniques. 

    It was there when I wrote my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters.

    Stop wasting your energy with the laggards.

    A few years ago I attended a workshop about change making with Sophie Christophy. In the workshop she drew Roger’s adoption curve. It looked like the picture below.

    Roger’s adoption curve shows how a new product, technology or innovation spreads through a population over time. It looks at the rate of adoption and plots the cumulative number or percentage of adopters on a chart over time.

    The adoption curve shows how early adopters first start using the new innovation, followed by the majority, until a saturation point is reached where most potential adopters have adopted the innovation.

    Key phases of the adoption curve include:

    • Innovators – the first few risk-takers who adopt very early (the pioneers)
    • Early adopters – next group who embrace new innovations, influential in spreading the word (the people you need to reach with your new idea)
    • Early majority – big wave of adoption, pragmatists who require proof and recommendations
    • Late majority – only adopt after the average person, sceptical, need pressure from peers.
    • Laggards – last to adopt, very conservative, only accept once innovation is commonplace (the kind of people who would only stop using a rotary phone once it’s no longer available).

    You do not need to worry about the last 3 categories, because they will only adopt your idea after each of the previous categories has done so. You only need to focus on the early adopters. See how much easier it makes it? You only need to worry about reaching 13.5% of your potential audience. And how liberating it is to notice that you do not need to speak to the laggards.

    This workshop was a defining moment for me, because I finally understood that my inability to affect change within the local maternity care system wasn’t due to my not trying hard enough (I used to beat myself up about this), but rather to the fact that I was talking to the wrong group.

    I completely stopped wasting my energy in maternity care meetings after that, and focused on finding early adopters and champions where I wanted to make change happen. This is how I ended up training all the local NICU nurses in using slings to support parents.

    Now thankfully I recognise the signs. I look for the early adopters. I cast my net wide to connect with like minded people. I trust that the right people will find me.

    I no longer feel the need to justify my offerings. I share my stuff from a place of authenticity, warts and all, knowing that it will resonate with the right people, and that, if it puts people off, these aren’t the people I want to work with. I no longer waste energy in trying to explain things to people who approach me from a place of judgement instead of curiosity. I do a lot of blocking and deleting on social media.

    I find this really helpful when starting something new in taming my inner impostor. Its voice is quite small these days.

    It doesn’t mean that it isn’t scary and that I don’t worry that nobody will want what I’m offering and that I don’t doubt myself. But I recognise the pioneer’s process, and feel a deep sense of excitement, especially when I realise that nobody else has been where I’m going. I thrive on it. 

    Do you worry that you are doing something so new that nobody will want it? Does it feel scary or exciting or both? I’d love to hear your stories. Just comment below this blog, or message me.