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Sophie Messager

Tag: recovery

  • Why waiting 6 weeks after birth to have a massage makes no sense

    Why waiting 6 weeks after birth to have a massage makes no sense

    There is a belief in Western culture that a new mother needs to wait until 6 weeks post birth before she has a massage. We believe that we have to wait until we’ve had our 6 weeks check before we receive any treatment, and most people seem to believe this is true. In fact, there is a belief that it is harmful to have any form of treatment until we have been given the green light by a medical professional.

    What puzzles me about this, however, is that, in the UK at least, the 6 weeks ‘check’ with the doctor does not include any kind of physical examination as standard. It’s just a 10 min discussion appointment.

    How did we come to believe that we need to wait, and how did it come to be that we also believe that we are given a clean bill of health once that check which isn’t one, has taken place?

    As someone who has been immersed in postpartum bodywork for nearly 10 years, and because of the research I did for my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, it is clear to me that it makes no sense to wait, but it is potentially harmful, because it means that new mothers miss out on much needed nurturing and healing when they need it the most, during the immediate postpartum period.

    I wanted to know where the idea came from, so I asked massage therapists. From discussions with them it became clear that this is just a belief, and that the restrictions may have come from insurance companies, rather than from medical evidence.

    It’s old and outdated advice although I do think it’s helpful for therapists to have knowledge of how to work postnatally if they are going to work soon after birthing. For example, a level new three therapist with no previous experience would likely feel quite out of their depth. Training schools used to teach (and some probably still do) that the first six weeks were contraindicated and we were to wait for the g.p check before going ahead. It’s due to the ‘complimentary’ nature of the service as opposed to being an ‘alternative’ from allopathic medicine. Emma Kenny, massage therapist

    It is actually really helpful to massage in the first 6 weeks postnatally as long as you know what you are doing. There are many modifications and it is a potentially dangerous time so you need to know the contraindications too. It is also partly because the mum is still under medical care. Main issues are high risk of infection and of course knowing how to modify after different kinds of birth.  Suzanne Yates

    “The Royal Free London used to offer seated massage within hours of giving birth, in your postnatal ward bay. It was an amazing service and one that I took full advantage of after the birth of son (5yo). Sadly I think this is no longer offered.” Anna

    Beyond the massage therapy aspect itself, I also believe that this fear of having anything done prior to medical approval comes from the fact that we have handed over our wisdom to the medical worlds “experts” and that we lack so much trust in our own bodies, that we need for approval of a medical professional to tell us that something is safe.

    Why bodywork is important for new mothers

    Given the tremendous changes a mother’s body goes through, it is perhaps not surprising that cultures the world around have in common some kind of bodywork to rebalance and restore the new mother. I’m not talking about just any random massage, but a specific kind of bodywork designed to help speed up the healing process and changes that the new mother’s body undergoes after her baby has been born.

    When a woman grows and births a baby, her whole body undergoes remarkable transformations. Her uterus grows from the size of a pear to that of a watermelon. Her pelvis tilts forwards, the curves of her spine increase, the muscles and ligaments around her belly stretch and grow. The organs inside her abdominal cavity get pushed up to accommodate her growing baby. During the birth, her uterus, pelvis, pelvic floor and vagina open and stretch to let the baby out. Then, after the baby is born, her body has to undergo all those changes in reverse. These changes also include tremendous hormonal changes, and the beginning of lactation.

    With this in mind, it feels extremely illogical to me that we no longer have any process in place to ensure that all the bones, soft tissues and organs have gone back in an optimal position. All new mothers would benefit from some kind of ‘MOT’ post birth from a postpartum manual therapist, because it is easier to prevent or treat problems as they arise, rather than letting them set into a pattern that becomes a lot more difficult to resolve. Traditional postpartum wisdom across the world includes massage, binding and manipulations designed to help speed up this healing process and avoid future problems. Besides the therapeutic effect of specific bodywork, any type of massage is good because loving touch raises feel good hormones like oxytocin.

    The lack of bodywork support and the view of the postpartum body in the West.

    There is a lack of postpartum bodywork support, and a lack of understanding of what is normal post birth, and of what constitutes acceptable postpartum ailments. Issues like incontinence, diastasis recti, or uterine or bladder prolapse, receive no pre-emptive screening, and very little skilled support. They are often seen as a normal part of new  motherhood. This contributes to the lack of support for new mothers. In the UK, new mothers are generally given a leaflet about pelvic floor exercises, which can help some women, however, without knowing if you are doing it right, and connecting it with the breath and the rest of the core abdominal muscles, it doesn’t make much of a difference for many. Without support in place, it can also be difficult for new mothers to find the time do to these exercises. And, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the check-up that UK women undergo with their doctors at 6 weeks post birth is a 10 min appointment that includes questions but no whole body physical examination.

    When to have postpartum bodywork?

    French medical doctor and yoga teacher Dr Bernadette de Gasquet, who specialises in birth preparation and postnatal rehabilitation, explains in her book Mon corps aprĂšs bĂ©bĂ© that the first 6 weeks after birth is a transitional period, when everything is soft and pliable, and that there is the most opportunity to heal from the birth. She recommends a programme of simple exercises to help make use of this unique time. In another book called Le mois d’or she also explains the importance of closing the pelvis, and quotes the dissertation of a French midwife who chose to study the subject. I read the dissertation in question, which is, as far as I’m aware, the only scientific study of postpartum binding that exists. The author, Juliette Danis, used a simple binding around the pelvis, applied the day after the birth (in hospital) for an hour. In a group of 160 women, 64% of women described an improvement in their pelvic and perineal pain, and 79 out of 80 of the women who received the binding said they would recommend it. Danis concludes that the care given to the women after the birth using massages or wrapping has a positive effect both physically and psychically, and that it symbolically helps to redraw the contours of the body.

    In every continent, postpartum specific bodywork is (or was) part of the normal care for the new mother. This kind of bodywork often includes massage and binding with a cloth. Each culture has a slightly different approach, but the goal is to restore and “close” the mother after the birth, and help speed up the natural healing process. These massages usually encompass the understanding that there is a physical process that needs to be completed (helping return the body to its non-pregnant state), and an emotional/spiritual aspect too (honouring the birth process and the emotions associated with it, as well as the tremendous changes of identity that the new mother undergoes).

    Nearly ten years ago, I learnt a postnatal massage from South America called Closing the bones. The massage includes rocking the pelvis with a rebozo (a traditional Mexican shawl), a series of massage of the abdomen, hips and chest/arms, and finally using the rebozo again to wrap the pelvis, and the rest of the body, tightly. I have been giving this postnatal ritual to hundreds of women, as well as training several hundred people in offering it. More than a massage it is also a ritual that celebrates and honours the new mother, and can be very healing both physically and emotionally (regardless whether the birth was a positive experience or not).

    Postpartum massage rituals, such as closing the bones, are usually done during the first 4 to 6 weeks postpartum. These massages help the body heal faster after birth. They are similar around the world, because the needs of new mothers are the same regardless of their culture, something that Rachelle Seliga explains beautifully in this article.

    Having massaged many new mothers, some as soon as 24h after the birth, I can personally attest that it makes complete sense not to wait to provide some bodywork. Treating the widened pelvis, the flared ribs, the shrinking uterus, the bowels moving back into their original place, the changes in the breasts as the milk comes in, all the amazing transformative processes that the new mother undergoes within the days and weeks after the birth, as they actually occur, facilitates and speed up  healing and recovery.

    Obviously, this needs to be adapted depending on the birth (vaginal or cesarean in particular), and the physical condition of the mother. However, it is also a myth that nothing can be done post caesarean, because binding has been shown to have advantages post abdominal surgery. Cambridge osteopath Teddy Brookes, with whom I developed a massage called the postnatal recovery massage, told me how he massaged a new mother 2 weeks post caesarean to help the passing of retained placenta and membranes. This was for someone who had been told she needed to undergo surgery under general anaesthetic to remove the retained products. She passed the membranes the next day, therefore avoiding the surgery. I had myself had similar experiences with several of my clients.

    Of course each individual mother is unique and the best time for them to have a treatment in when they are ready. I believe, however, that a blanket restriction on the timing of postnatal massage treatments doesn’t serve new mothers. Each individual case needs to be looked, assessing the level of risks and benefits of treatment to each individual mothers, and adapting the treatment as required. When considering having or giving such a treatment, ask yourself: what are the risks of doing it, versus the risks of not doing it, and use this as the basis of a discussion with the person involved.

     

  • How to write a postnatal plan

    How to write a postnatal plan

    You may have heard of a birth plan, but have you heard about a postnatal plan?

    In our culture we are often focused on the birth, and most of all, on the baby. It is clear from the focus antenatal classes have, there is preparation for the birth, and also preparation for the postpartum, but the postpartum aspect is usually mostly focusing on babycare rather than on the mother’s needs (and I should know about it because I taught antenatal classes for several years). It is also clear from the presents expectant and new parents receive, which are also usually all for the baby.

    It didn’t used to be this way. In every culture around the world, there used to be (and still is in many cultures even today), a period of at least a month post birth during which the new mother didn’t lift a finger. The community (usually female relatives), rallied round and took care of her household, so all she had to do was rest, eat nutritious food people prepared for her, receive healing bodywork treatments, and get to know her new baby. Compare this to what we get in the Western world: two weeks paternity leave, and then you’ve on your own.

    Because we no longer live in a culture that understands and supports the need for recovery post birth, writing a postnatal plan is a fantastic way to ensure that there is support in place for after the birth, and that you aren’t alone trying to meet your own needs and the intense needs of a newborn baby (as well as running a house, and maybe looking after older children too).

    I love this quote by Jojo Hogan, a postnatal doula who created the Slow postpartum movement.

    “If birth is like a wedding day (lots of planning, high expectations, being the centre of attention, lasts for about a day or so, get something special at the end), then the postpartum should be like a honeymoon (Equal amounts of planning and investment. Time, space and privacy to relax, bond and fall in love. Lots of people and services around to care for and look after you and a peaceful and blissful environment where all your needs are met for a few days or weeks).”

    As you would plan for your honeymoon, it is well worth putting plans in place for your baby moon, i.e. creating your own postnatal plan. Just like planning for birth, this isn’t about having a rigid plan. The magic isn’t in the finalised plan, or to have a ‘perfect’ plan, it is in the process of exploring options (some of which you may not even know exist) and getting informed so that you can have an experience which is as positive as possible, regardless of what happens.

    I use this analogy: you need to find what’s in a buffet, before you decide what you’d like to eat (I explain this process in my blog called The buffet curator).

    You don’t know how you’ll feel in advance. You don’t know what curveballs life might throw you (for example: your birth might happen sooner or later than you expected, it might unfold differently from what you had hoped, you might need to stay for a while in the hospital, your baby might need to stay for a while in the hospital etc).

    So just like for birth, it’s worth having thought about all the options, so that, regardless of how your birth unfolds, and how your baby comes into the world, and how you end up feeling once you’re home with your baby, you have at least some form of support in place.

    You may encounter people who dismiss your idea. “You can’t plan birth ” is a common phrase used to dismiss birth plans. Because a postnatal plan is an even newer concept than a birth plan, you may encounter some dismissiveness or negativity. People might say “what’s this newfangled thing, we didn’t need that in our time” or “you don’t need that” from people who don’t understand the point, because they did not do it themselves. Some of my clients who have written postnatal plan have encountered reactions from relatives who even said “I didn’t have support, I just got on with it”, implying that they suffered, and you should too. Therefore you might need to choose carefully who will be part of your postnatal support team, who to discuss it with, depending whether they are likely to be supportive or dismissive. In the vulnerable tender state of new motherhood, the last thing you need is being criticised for your choices. After all, you just single handed grew and birthed a whole new human, and you should be revered as the goddess that you are.

    How to you write a postnatal recovery plan? It’s simple really, because a nurturing postpartum boils down to 4 pillars: Social support, Rest, Food and bodywork.

    Here is a list of these topics with prompts, which you can use as basic to start write your postnatal plan.

    Rest

    • Help with household (chores, cooking, cleaning, other children etc make a list of potential helpers)
    • Visitors-list them/how to manage them so they do not interfere with rest/write a “new mother and baby sleeping” note for the door.
    • Naps/sleep when the baby sleeps/early nights/sleep with your baby
    • Relaxation: techniques and apps

    Food

    • Batch cook and freeze
    • Who can make/bring you some/meal trains
    • Deliveries (supermarkets, take away meals, frozen, fresh, meal boxes)
    • Nutritious non perishable snacks
    • Use a sling so you have your hands available to make yourself something to eat.

    Bodywork

    • Postnatal massages/closing the bones massage
    • Specialist manual therapists such as osteopaths, chiropractors, and physiotherapists
    • Wrapping your pelvis/abdomen
    • Keeping warm

    Social support

    • Friends, family, neighbours
    • Hired help (doulas, nannies, cleaners…)
    • Online support (social media, WhatsApp groups…)

    Planning for the unplanned:

    You might want to include a part on navigating possible curveballs. For instance if you end up giving birth by caesarean when this wasn’t part of your plan and what your recovery might look like if that’s the case.  If you end up having a longer than expected hospital stay after the birth, or if your baby needs to stay in hospital for a while.

    There are many ways to create a postnatal plan. You could write one, and you could also make a mindmap or a vision board, of draw something or whatever other modality appeals to you.

    You can download a free postnatal recovery plan template as a PDF on my website front page.

    If you’d like to learn more about this topic, feel free to browse my blog for more posts on this topic. My book, Why postnatal recovery matters has a whole chapter on writing a postnatal recovery plan, and my online course How to prepare for a nurturing postpartum, has a whole module on it.

    This coming Tuesday 28th of June I am also running a free Webinar called How to prepare for a nurturing postpartum.

  • What is postpartum bodywork and why we need it back.

    What is postpartum bodywork and why we need it back.

    All around the world there are (or used to be) traditional practices to help a new mother’s body heal after birth.

    Regardless of the continent, these traditions usually include some massage and wrapping rituals, as well as binding the belly and pelvis, and keeping the mother warm.

    When you think about the tremendous changes a mother’s body undergoes, it makes so much sense! During pregnancy, the uterus grows from the size of a pear to that of a watermelon, the pelvis tilts forward and becomes wider, the ribs open, the spine curves increase, the abdominal organs get pushed up etc. To give birth, the mother’s body opens up on a physical and energetic level. After birth, these changes need to happen in reverse, whilst the body also undergoes the beginning of lactation.

    It seems crazy that we no longer have processes in place to support these changes, or at the very least, some kind of physical examination to make sure everything has returned to a healthy place. At the 6 weeks doctor “check” in the UK, there is no overall physical examination of the mother.

    With no checkup, and no sense of what is normal, we have a perfect storm of issues not being treated. The statistics are very telling: 1 in 3 new mothers experience urinary incontinence at 3 months postpartum and nearly one in 2 still has diastasis recti at 6 months postpartum. Research shows that it takes on average 8-10 years post birth for women to seek help for such issues.

    Yet, during the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the body is still plastic and resetting itself post birth, there is a unique opportunity for healing.

    Traditional massages and rituals, such as closing the bones, understand this need and the window of opportunity, and are designed to “close” a new mother physically, emotionally and energetically, after the widening and opening of pregnancy and birth. Because the needs of new mothers are the same regardless of where they are from, it makes sense all cultures have similar processes to support postpartum healing. This article from Innate traditions provides a beautiful overview of the topic.

    As no such treatment is available as standard within the health system, it makes sense to seek bodywork and healing from people who can provide it.

    What kind of postnatal bodywork can you have?

    When can you have postnatal bodywork?

    As soon as possible during the first 6-8 weeks postpartum or as soon as you are ready. In traditional wisdom, there is a window of healing opportunity and plasticity during this time when the body is designed to heal faster. The strange “don’t do anything before you’ve had your 6 weeks check” isn’t based on any evidence. Moreover, it makes no sense because the 6 weeks check doesn’t include a physical examination. Having massaged many new mothers, some as soon as 24h post birth, I can attest that this is when the bodywork is the most effective to speed up healing.

    What can you do for yourself?

    • Use the 4 pillars of postnatal recovery (Social support, rest, food and bodywork) to write a postnatal recovery plan (you can download a free template here) to include bodywork. You can ask for gifts vouchers towards postnatal bodywork.
    • Wrap your belly and hips. I wrote a blog about it which includes tutorials.
    • Keep warm (like a convalescent person would: wrap up, and consume warming foods and drinks)

    What can you do for new mothers?

    • If you know someone who is pregnant or recently had a baby, it would be a wonderful gift to give them a voucher towards such a treatment.
  • Postpartum support and butterflies: what do they have in common?

    Postpartum support and butterflies: what do they have in common?

    In my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, I explain that postnatal recovery boils down to 4 pillars: social support, rest, food and bodywork.

    Social support is the foundation on which everything else is built. If you are going to rest, have some great nourishing, food and some bodywork after birth, it’s kind of impossible to do this alone. You need other adults around to be supporting you in order to do this.

    But postpartum support goes beyond the simple practical aspect of having other pairs of hands to hold the baby, cook you food or give you a massage.

    Yes, having another adult in the house means that there is someone to help with house stuff, but most importantly, it means that we aren’t alone. It means that there is someone else to keep us company, listens, and reassure us when we doubt ourselves.

    It means, most importantly, that there is someone to hold the space for us.

    Holding the space looks like someone is doing nothing, but it might be the most important aspect of all. Heather Plett explains this concept beautifully in her article.

    In the episode of the Midwives’s Cauldron podcast I did about postnatal recovery, I tell a story that illustrates this beautifully (you can listen to it here). When my daughter was a baby, she suffered from painful gas at night which left her inconsolable. I became aware that she reacted to certain foods I ate and had to eliminate these from my diet. On a holiday to France when she was 3 months old, I unknowingly ate some food she reacted really badly to, and she woke up in the middle of the night and cried for over an hour. As I got out of her bed to rock and soothe her, my mother heard her cry, and she came to keep me company. She didn’t do much; she just sat with me whilst I rocked my baby. But having another adult there, just being present for me, meant that I felt much stronger and able to support my daughter.

    Recently a new mother I supported as a doula told me something similar: she said you have help during the day, but at night, you’re alone and it’s so hard. I helped her find a night doula, and it made a world of difference to her wellbeing.

    As humans we are a social species, and we kind of intuitively know that we need community support through life transitions. This is why every culture used to have (and many still have) a set of rituals around big life transitions life becoming a parent.

    The polyvagal nervous system theory tells her that we need each other to regulate our stress levels, especially at times when we are vulnerable.

    Postpartum rituals around the world all have in common a period of about a month during which the new mother is nurtured and looked after, almost like a child, because there is an innate understanding that she needs to be surrounded and supported by experienced adults as she navigates her new role and identity.

    Western societies are so focused on productivity that we tend to only plan for practical things. I see a parallel with what people ask me about my doula role. They ask what does a doula do, yet most of my role isn’t easily quantified, because it is more about being than doing.

    An analogy often used for the transition to motherhood is that the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

    If you have ever seen a butterfly emerge from its cocoon, you’ll know that as the butterfly first comes out, its wings are crumpled and soft. The butterfly needs to hang upside down from its cocoon or a nearby branch, whilst it waits for the wings to unfold, dry and strengthen. Only then can it take its first flight. If you’ve ever witnessed this you may also know that if the butterfly falls before the wings are dried, the wings are usually damaged.

    Postpartum support is the same. It is about providing stable ground. One cannot help or speed up the wings unfolding and drying process, but they can be the strong cocoon on which the butterfly hangs whilst they unfurl.

    We need to introduce this concept in the postpartum too: that what new mothers need, most of all, are people to hold the space for them, and who trust that they can find their own path, and unfold and spread their wings by themselves, in their own time, once there have become strong enough.

    (PS: if you’re a birth geek like me you’ll be fascinated like I was to learn that there is a substance called meconium, which sounds quite similar to the human version, which the butterfly pushes through its wings to unfurl them.)

  • How to normalise rest and support after birth

    How to normalise rest and support after birth

    One of the reasons I wrote my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, is because I got fed up of witnessing new mothers struggle and blame themselves for it.

    As a society we are blind to the needs of new mothers. When they struggle to adapt and adjust to the intense demands of new motherhood, new mothers tend to think that something is wrong with them, rather than placing the blame where it belongs, which is in a culture that totally fails to support them.

    We also place an abnormal value on independence, which means that new mothers often hide their struggle as feel shame and guilt, mistakenly believing that they are the only ones who struggle. It’s a vicious circle.

    Since I published my book, I have been heartened by positive stories about it. One second time mother in particular, said that because of the book she didn’t feel guilty letting other people look after her after the birth this time around. But there is still SO MUCH we need to do to change things. In my doula work I still witness new mothers blaming themselves for their struggles, and who feel guilty asking for help, who feel guilty at having me to supporting them even!

    We need to normalize rest and support after birth. I believe than when as little as 15% of new families get given the support they need, this will become. I need your help in doing this.

    Please share the message that resting and being looked after the birth isn’t selfish but that it is the norm for our species.

    Encourage expectant families to plan for the postpartum as well as the birth. It’s easier to have support when you put plans in place in advance.

    Play your part in the revolution by giving gifts that actually support the new family, like food delivery, vouchers for a postnatal doula or mother’s help, or voucher for a postnatal massage.

    The more people experience true nurturing postpartum, the closer we will get to the goal of transforming our culture.

     

    If you’d like to read more, I started blogging about this topic in 2016, and you can read more posts below:

    What new mothers really need

    Motherhood is fucking hard and you aren’t meant to be doing this on your own

    Have you heard of a postnatal plan?

     

  • Why postnatal recovery matters online course: what’s so special about it?

    Why postnatal recovery matters online course: what’s so special about it?

    My name is Sophie Messager and I am on a mission to revolutionise the postpartum.

    Everywhere around the world, there used to be a period of about a month after birth during which the new mother was taken care of completely. Family members, or members of the community, used to take charge of the household (chores, older kids etc), make sure the mother rested, provided specific nourishing foods, and well as give or organise some bodywork, such as postpartum binding or massage. It was a ubiquitous practice in every continent (and still is in many parts of the world today). In the Western world, we used to have this too in living memory.

    I do not know why we forgot, but I know that what we have isn’t adequate, and that our lack of understanding of this fundamental need puts new mothers under intense stress. As a doula I have been witnessing new mothers struggle alone, trying to meet their own needs and the intense needs of their newborn babies. Not only this, but there is also intense pressure for new mothers to “go back to normal” as fast as possible, which contributes to feelings of inadequacy and suffering. Because we have lost sight of the needs of new mothers, mothers often blame themselves for their suffering, wondering what is wrong with them, instead of seeing that their struggle is caused by a culture that fails to understand and support them.

    Having witnessed this struggle over 10 years, I have wanted to do something to change it.

    In 2020 I published a book called Why postnatal recovery matters, which is a call to action for a change towards a more nurturing postpartum. I wrote it because I wanted to provide knowledge and practical ideas for both new families and the people who support them.

    I decided to create an online course based on the principles highlighted in the book. The course provides more of a held experience, as it is divided into bite sized modules and lessons, and because in each module there is a video where I introduce the topic. I have also expanded on the knowledge I gathered over many years as a doula and perinatal educator, and expanded to write the book and which I have carried on acquiring since. As well as all the videos and text to read, one of the entirely new aspects that the course provides are questionnaires in each of the modules, which you can download and print. These questionnaires encourage you to explore your beliefs and your hopes and fears on each particular topic. You can then revisit the questionnaire after each module, to see if anything has changed. This provides a deep enquiry process which can be transformative.

    After completing this course you will have:

    • Learnt about traditional postpartum wisdom, and why we need it back
    • Gained a solid understanding of why preparing for the postpartum is essential
    • Learnt about your own beliefs and needs for the postpartum.
    • Learnt about the 4 pillars of the postpartum: Social support, rest, food and bodywork, and how to make them work for you
    • Learnt why hiring help, in particular a doula, can be a game changer
    • Learnt how to write a postnatal recovery plan
    • Learnt about preparing for every eventuality, including the unexpected

    By the end of this course, you will feel confident and armed with the tools your need to have a supportive the postpartum recovery, one that places the new mother firmly at the centre.

    This course is for you if you are an expectant or new parent, or if you are someone who supports expectant and new parents.

    What makes this course, and my approach, unique?

    • I have a unique blend of scientific, theoretical and practical experience. I was a biology research scientist for 20 year prior to reconverting to being a doula. What I bring is my unique signature mix of scientific, traditional, and practical knowledge.
    • The course is full of scientific references, with clickable links you can follow, and also full of traditional wisdom.
    • I have extracted the fundamental principles of what constitues a good postpartum recovery, looking at what is common between cultures rather than specific in each individual culture, and divided them into 4 simple principles which are easy to apply. This means that you can make it work for you and your unique family and circumstances.
    • The course is full of stories from my clients and from mothers and birth professionals, which help illustrate the topic with real life examples, as well as give you ideas that you may want to try.
    • As well as being a scientist, I have gained practical experience in many traditional techniques, such as wrapping the hips and belly, which I share with you in the course.
    • Having gained a DiPhe in antenatal education, as well as facilitating hundred of courses and workshops for expectant parents and birth professionals over 10 years, I know how present information in a way that allows students to learn easily and enjoyably.
    • The course has also been co-developed with a group of 85 birth professionals, so you know that the content have been tried and tested by experts in the field.

     

     

     

     

    What’s in the course?

    • The course is divided in 11 bite size Modules
      • Introduction
      • History
      • What we are missing
      • Social support
      • Rest
      • Food
      • Bodywork
      • Hiring help
      • Postnatal recovery plan
      • Special circumstances
      • Conclusion
    • Each module is presented with an introduction video, and a mix of text, pictures, videos, and questionnaires for optimal learning, and to investigate your own beliefs and revisit them as your go through the course.
    • The course includes access to a private Facebook group for sharing knowledge and ongoing support.

    FAQ:

    How long do I have to do the course?

    As long as you need. You get to do the course in your own time.

    In which order do I do the modules?

    As you prefer. You can go through the course in a linear fashion, or go straight to a particular module you are interested in.

    How much does it cost?

    ÂŁ119

    How do I access the course?

    Here 

  • A guide to postpartum recovery during lockdown

    Updated January 2021 (originally published in March 2020)

    The lockdown inspired me to write a mini emergency postnatal recovery plan, as for the foreseeing future, most new families in the UK (and in many other places in the world) are likely to be at home alone with their babies, with support from only a very limited number of persons (Doulas and certain therapists are still able to work during lockdown so do not hesitate to contact them for support).

    Traditional postpartum recovery the world around includes a period of at least a month during which the mother does nothing but rest and get to know her baby, whilst other people look after her, cook her warming, nourishing foods, massage and wrap her, and provide essential social support.

    After all, your body has done something truly amazing by growing and birthing a whole new person, so it makes sense that it needs some TLC to recover as well as possible. Even marathon runners take a couple of weeks off training after an event!

    I wrote my book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters,  to encourage a return of these practises to the Western world.

    But during lockdown I am aware that the full version of this isn’t going to be possible.

    So when we boil it down to its bare bones, what does a DIY postnatal recovery plan look like?

    The four pillars of postpartum recovery are social support, rest, food, and bodywork.

    Social support

    I hope you have a partner or another adult  with you. It is unlikely you’ll have much direct support from people face to face, however you can get a lot of online/virtual/video support. Many doulas have switched to offering remote support via phone or video calls (doulas offer postnatal support as well as birth support). You can find a doula here .

    There are online support groups, and you can find local or national ones on Facebook. If you search for something like mums in XXX (town’s name) or “XXX parents”, you’ll find groups, and from these groups and the people in them, you’ll be able to find out other sources of support. In fact the pandemic has seen the creation many new local support groups created to help support vulnerable people, so help is paradoxically easier to find than it was before. There are are also some apps such as Mush or Peanut which are designed to help mums to connect with other mums.

    Rest:

    Aim to stay in bed for a few days, or if being in bed drives you crazy, or if this isn’t possible, around the bed or the sofa as much as you can. Try to take at least one nap a day (early afternoon is the time that most people find that comes naturally), or if you can, a couple of naps a day, sleeping when the baby is sleeping. Even a 20 min power nap can make a world of difference. Try to go to bed earlier than you normally would a few times a week. If you cannot sleep, try to lie down and rest (some mums find it easier to drop off if they listen to a guided meditation. There are plenty of free apps for that). If you’re alone and have other kids to look after, drop your standard for a while and have lazy days around the sofa, making free use of screen entertainment.

    Food:

    If you can, batch cook and freeze ahead of time before the birth. Ideally you’ll want to have a mix of sources for food, from self prep, to food prepped for you by friends and neighbours, to food deliveries. You could organise a meal train or better still ask a kindly neighbour or friend to organise one for you (or use this website https://www.mealtrain.com/). Since there are many free support groups online now, including street whasapp group (why not start one if there isn’t one in your street yet),it that it might be easier than before to get the support.

    There are companies such as cook that deliver good quality frozen meals that you can just stick in the oven like lasagna (https://www.cookfood.net/). I am seeing more local delivery initiatives before so I’m hopeful that you’ll find them locally. Some local shops offering delivery services. As well as fresh food, get some easy to eat, stock on non perishable snacks if you can.

    Bodywork

    Another ubiquitous practise is to massage and wrap the abdomen and/or the pelvis of the new mother. It is trickier than before as access to massage therapists is limited, however, such therapists are still allowed to practise when the clinical need is deemed sufficient (see guidance here https://www.fht.org.uk/news-item/fht-statement-on-coronavirus-covid-19). Manual therapists such as osteopaths, chiropractors, and physiotherapists are still open. There are things you can do for yourself, such a giving your lower abdomen a gentle massage, and wrapping your pelvis and/or abdomen with a scarf or a velcro belt. I’ve written a blog about how to do this, complete with some tutorials.

     

    Get yourself a sling or baby carrier. This will allow you to meet your baby’s needs for closeness whilst being able to relax and still have your arms available to fix yourself a snack or a meal. Carrying matters has just published a blog about babywearing during the pandemic, and they also run the sling pages directory (Babywearing consultants are able to support you remotely).

    Try and plan as much as possible whilst pregnant so you have support in place after the birth.

    I’ve made a free postnatal recovery plan PDF to download with prompts. You can find it here.

    If this inspires you and you’d like to find out more, you can buy a signed copy of my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, here, or find out more about my online courses, or the one to one sessions I offer.

  • Stretched between gratitude and grief. A review of 2020.

    Stretched between gratitude and grief. A review of 2020.

    At the end of each year I write a review of my year. I find it a helpful exercise to reflect. This year it feels more important than ever. I am doing it for myself, and I also hope it may inspire others who read it. Despite my being told that I do a lot of stuff, until I write it all down I tend to mostly focus on what I am not doing.

    I choose the title of being stretched between gratitude and grief because this has been a year of extremes on many levels, and that is how it has felt for me.

    I have this amazing book about grief called The Wild Edge of Sorrow. In his book, author Francis Weller explains that :

    “Sorrow shakes us and breaks us open to depths of soul we could not imagine. Grief offers a wild alchemy that transmutes suffering into fertile ground. We are made real and tangible by the experience of sorrow, adding substance and weight to our world. We are stripped of excess and revealed as human in our times of grief. In a very real way grief ripens us, pulls up from the depths of our souls what is most authentic in our beings”.

    I started 2020 in a state of deep grief, due to a crisis that had happened in the summer of 2019. I was still seeing a therapist, and still on antidepressants. I was desperately trying to “fix” myself out of the darkness. Back then I could not have imagined how much personal growth and joy this year would bring me, despite the challenges that it brought.

    A bunch of things happened between January and lockdown that contributed to lifting me out of this state. I finished doing the case studies for my Reiki Drum teacher training, and managed to attend the actual training (despite the looming lockdown and a flat tyre). I had a family constellation session (the 4th one since summer 2019), and I had a 3h long massage and healing session with Claire at In well being somatic massage, all of which helped shift what had happened  out of my body. But the biggest change was oddly brought by the lockdown itself.

    As the announcement of lockdown loomed, I spent 3 days reading the news constantly. My anxiety skyrocketed as I started to imagine all sorts of worse case scenarios. I’m super grateful that a friend made me aware of a zoom workshop based on the work of Byron Katie, on the topic of anxiety during the pandemic. During the workshop, Cambridge coach Corrina Gordon-Barnes led us through an enquiry about our fear.  I had partially read Byron Katie’s book, Loving what is, before, but I had taken the questions at face value, and not got that they weren’t actual intellectual questions, but rather a method of self enquiry. The effect of this for me was extraordinary, and it moved me instantly out of my fear and anxiety into a state of peace. You can watch the video of this workshop, called Peace during a pandemic, here. I know it sounds too good to be true but the difference attending this workshop made to me was really night and day. In fact I found it so transformative that I attended another one and signed up for an online course around the Work and parenting later in the year.

    I’d be lying if I pretended that I didn’t drop back into anxiety at times. There were several moments during the year where I felt consumed by anxiety and anger about the state of the world, the unbelievable changes that were happening all around us, and projections into a bleak and scary future. When that happened, being in nature or dancing always helped bringing me back into my body in the now. It was an interesting realisation to find that even if the circumstances didn’t change, my mindset (or should say my heartset) made all the difference. This year I really learnt the meaning of staying into my business and accepting what I can and cannot change.

    The gift of time during lockdown

    Oddly, lockdown turned out to be mostly positive for me. As the first few days happened, I started taking my children for a daily walk in the neighbourhood, in a bid to keep them healthy. I felt annoyed and grumpy to be restricted to visiting the same boring spot everyday.

    A few weeks before lockdown I had started a gratitude practise called 111 happy days. So I decided to switch this to something called Gratitude in a Pandemic, which I did for 16 weeks. I chose to share my gratitude practise on Facebook to keep myself accountable. Every day or so I’d share, along with pictures, the stuff I felt grateful for. This is the first time in my life that I did this regularly and the first time I found out how effective it was. I started noticing a lot of things to be grateful for that I had never been even thought about before.

    It is said that where the attention goes, energy flows. This proved so true for me because not only this helped me shift my mindset towards more positive way of looking at the world. Because I shared on Facebook, friends pointed out how lucky I was to have such open spaces on my doorstep, and soon I stopped seeing the local nature reserves as boring places, but started to appreciate their beauty. I hadn’t expected this but a lot of people also told me they found my posts inspiring.

    Other magical stuff happened. As I took daily walks with my kids, whilst at first they were reluctant, they came to look forward to it, asking during lunch at what time we would go. Because of these walks and the forced slower pace of life, we spent more time together than we did before. We often had deep meaningful conversations during these walks. I also noticed that my kids also spent more time talking to each other. I noticed that the local nature reserve was actually a very beautiful place, that we were lucky to have it so close, and that it looked different every day, as nature grew and unfolded during Spring. We saw cygnets being born and then we saw them grow. The weather was unusually nice which made it all the more pleasant.

    It wasn’t all pink fluffy unicorns. Some of those walks were challenging, some days my kids were grumpy or quarrelled etc. One major source of frustration was navigating achieving balance for our kids between home learning and screen time whilst both myself and my husband worked. This also meant having complex conversations with my husband who had set up his home office in the lounge, whilst I was upstairs always the one the kids came to for school work help! In the midst of this, I felt utterly grateful that my children were older (10 and 14)  and fairly self sufficient. I cannot imagine how I would have coped with the lockdown with a toddler and a preschooler. I saw the challenges some of my friends with younger kids went through, trying to work (some of them single parents) whilst meeting the needs of their children. They have my utter respect and admiration.

    The other major change that the forced slow down brought by lockdown brought me was that I became aware that I had been pressuring myself to be “productive” all the time. I thought I had come a long way from this already, starting with the coaching work I’d done with Bonny Chmelik  a couple of years ago (which led to my year round river swimming habit), but as the pressure eased for so long, I started to feel very appreciative of the slower pace of the day, and feel much happier and more relaxed for it. I spent more time doing activities like baking, gathering herbs and making stuff with them like bundles and oils etc, because I felt I had the time. It was no nice to enjoy these whilst not feeling rushed. I remember one afternoon as I relaxed in the hammock in my garden, it dawned on me that I wasn’t feeling guilty of not working. I had several defining moments like this one, for instance one morning I ran through the local nature reserve and stopped on the riverside to watch the water and meditate, a voice in my head told me I should be getting back to work. I started to realise how much pressure I was putting on myself  to be productive all the time, and I hadn’t even been aware of it.

    Two other practises really helped me slow down and connect with nature and myself: drumming and dancing (as well as my previously existing practise of year round wild swimming). In November 2019 I committed to train to become a Reiki Drum teacher. This means I had to run 24 case studies in 2 months. I managed to finish and attended the training. I never got to teach it in 2020 as I had intended, but the benefits for me personally went beyond my expectations. In February I started running monthly drumming circles in Cambridge. I had assumed I’d get a handful of friends, but both times around 14 people attended, most of which I didn’t even know. Those drum circles were magical. During lockdown I carried on running them online, then ran them to outdoors when it became possible again.

    By April I felt well enough to come off the antidepressants.

    In May I turned 50. Whilst I was upset that I couldn’t see my family that day, in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t feel that important, and I also felt grateful that I did not mind so much.  I started the day drumming in the woods, I went for 2 swims at my favourite spots, had a wonderful takeaway Chinese feast for diner and an enormous chocolate keto cake handmade and delivered by my lovely friend Alexa. I finished the day with party on Zoom that night and this meant that friends and family from Norway, the USA, France and Germany were able to join me, and this wouldn’t have been possible if it had been face to face. The party included a 5rhythm dance session led by the wonderful Ruth Hirst. Many of my friends had never tried this type of dance and where hooked instantly.

    The day I turned 50 I also started the day drumming in the woods at the local nature reserve with 2 other women. I have been doing this bi-weekly since. It’s a deeply spiritual, yet simple, practise that I love, in the connection with others, with nature and with myself that it gives me.

    In October 2019 I had joined Cambsdance , which is a conscious dance community in Cambridge. They host various teachers who run a range of conscious dancing classes from different styles ( 5Rhythms, Freedom dance, and  open floor). I remember being amazed when I first went as I thought we were going to be taught steps! The first night I had one mind blowing moment after the other: I saw how my clubbing years  had made me associate dancing with seduction and showing off, I found out that I could move my body in much better ways in my late 40s than in my 20s (because I inhabit my body more, but also because I care much less about what others think). I went home elated.

    This type of dancing is nothing like you may have experienced clubbing. There is no self consciousness, no judging, no “performance”. It’s simply a group of people who get together to move like their bodies want to. Jewel Mathieson’s sum “We have come to be danced” sums it up. This practise proved transformative for me whilst I was in the midst of a personal crisis. I discovered that this form of self-connection suits me better than being still. That I can move through feelings in minutes whilst moving my body through music, in what would take me 20 min or more of meditation.

    I attended the Friday night dance every week from October to March. When lockdown happened we carried on dancing with sessions run on zoom. I carried attending the sessions religiously during that time. I even signed up to an ongoing small group work with Freedom Dance teacher Alex Svoboda. I was dubious as to whether these would work online but they did. It wasn’t the same as face to face, but it was still powerful. In fact during lockdown I had a one to one session with Alex, when I was feeling stuck about the professional path ahead. Alex suggested I dance which element my professional past was, then my current path, then my future one. It was a truly mind blowing experience, and it shifted me out of being stuck instantly.

    When lockdown eased, small groups of us started meeting in the meadows near the river in Cambridge, and dance whilst streaming the live class on zoom with a speaker.  I found it extraordinary on so many levels. Dancing to the setting sun with an owl flying on the background and the sky reflected on the river surface was magical. The small group meant that I got to know people really well, much quicker than I would have done in the large group that normally gathered indoors on a Friday night. Many of these people have become close friends.  It also made chatting afterwards a lot more relaxed as we didn’t have to vacate a rented space by a certain time. We carried on dancing even when it became cold and dark, and sometimes wet, and it was still magical. There was a spiritual element to some of the gatherings, including ceremonies to celebrate the turning of the year. I realised that I had never been as in tune with the changing seasons at this year, and that it felt very good to be more connected to nature in this way. This week I also took part in the last event of the second small group Freedom Dance series I had taken part in, and I’ve already signed up for more. If this is something you have ever wanted to try, now you can participate with any teacher that you choose as online classes mean that the distance constraints are removed.

    The other practise that is majorly important to my wellbeing is year round swimming in the river. This year I swam a lot more regularly than before because the lockdown helped me with a shift of priorities. I gave myself a challenge to swim in 50 different swim spots before I turn 51, which has already led to some really cool swimming adventures, including swimming through Cambridge city centre twice, swooshing down a mile in the Ouse, and swimming in 6 different lakes whilst on holidays in France. I look forward to more swimming adventures.

    When lockdown eased, I started putting these practises in my diary as a priority over everything else, because I’d come to understand that they were not just “nice” things to do when I had time, but rather they were the foundation on which I built everything else. Next year I am planning to create an online course based to my experience to help others out of overwhelm.

    Work

    This year brought some great challenges in my work as a workshop facilitator and doula. Up until March I wasn’t in a particularly good place, so the announcement of the lockdown filled me with anxiety and dread, as well as fears for my little sole trader business. Interestingly, something had been preventing me from booking workshops. I had been putting it down to low mood and procrastination, but now that I look back it seems my intuition was on point. When lockdown came I only needed to cancel one workshop, which helped me not become overwhelmed with reorganisation and refunds etc.

    When lockdown happened I panicked thinking that I would not be earning any money at all. My main source of income was workshops, and I could no longer run those. I didn’t know whether I would still be able to work as a doula during lockdown. Yet the lockdown meant that I finished my book draft on time, and that first month when I thought I’d get nothing, I got the advance for the book from the publisher, which I hadn’t counted on. This was a nice, unexpected and reassuring surprise. Seeing small business owner friends struggle with no income also made me feel grateful that my husband still had part time salary.

    That theme of unexpected income carried on throughout the year. In April I got an unexpected last minute booking for a birth because this family could no longer have their relatives come to look after their older child. This birth (actually the only birth that I attended in person this year) was utterly wonderful, and gave me a lot of reassurance, as well as being a lovely reintroduction to birth work after a 6 month break. The lockdown and new rules, meaning only one birth partner was allowed in the hospital, brought new challenges to my doula work. Like many I had to adapt very quickly to move my support online. I was pleasantly surprised that it could still be very effective.  It did take some creativity, and I learnt a lot of new skills this year, for example teaching rebozo techniques on zoom, or learning to write and record custom relaxation scripts for clients in record time.

    There were moments of despair and utter frustration. Supporting women having their labour induced for days without the support of her partner or myself, or the lack of support in the postnatal ward, especially post caesarean, was hugely frustrating and stressful. In the summer I hit a particularly low moment when, having just finished to support such a long induction, I saw a woman I had supported has a doula 3 times already, walk alone to the hospital. I came home and told my husband I was done being a doula.

    But there were magical moments too. I learnt that I could still make a massive difference remotely and that my support was even more important in these challenging times. I was able to pull strings and help several couples achieve a wonderful births against many odds. I supported a lot of people over phone and video calls, and discovered to my surprise that it could still feel fulfilling. Recently I found out after supporting such a birth, that I felt just as opened energetically afterwards, the way I normally feel after being present.

    Whilst several couples, including repeat clients, got in touch but decided not to hire me as they didn’t see the point if I couldn’t be there in person, surprisingly many did still want to work with me despite the lack of guarantee that I could be present. In the end I was just as busy this year as the previous year. I have repeat clients booked for next year too. I still mentored new doulas, and I had the pleasure to support 4 doulas in completing their mentoring journey in 2020.

    Workshop wise this certainly was a very different year. In the past 3 years or so I usually taught at least a couple of workshops a month, travelling around the UK and sometimes abroad. This year I only taught 5 live workshops, and a couple of zoom ones. Whilst I did miss teaching, and especially when I returned in October after a 6 month long break, and realised how much I love teaching, I also feel that that the previous level of intense teaching is not longer suitable for who I am today.

    I had already planned to make 2 online courses based on my book. I signed up to Leonie Dawson’s course 40days to create and sell your ecourse  (it’s fabulous, I love Leonie’s irreverent and empowering style, do get in touch if you’re interested to do this course, as Leonie has an affiliate scheme). I offered my upcoming courses to a group of early adopters and 85 people joined me on this journey. In parallel I had someone create me a new website with a built-in online course system. I also had some social media training, a logo, and some branding work done ready for the relaunch.

    When the new website was launched in November,   I discovered that my existing rebozo online course hadn’t transferred across the new system properly. After a lot of stress I realised that rather than getting my web guy to fix it, it made sense to rebuild the course using the new system instead. This proved to be a godsend on several levels because not only did it meant that I got to grip with the new tech really quickly (I had been procrastinating), but I updated the course with new text, new pictures and branding, and added a quiz and automated certificate download at the end.  I was very proud of how the updated course worked and relaunched it in November, and I had more people sign up to this course in 2020 than in the 2 years since I launched it.

    I have finished creating the course for families based on my book, and I am 2/3rd of the way through uploading it on my website. I’m also about 1/3 of the way creating the second course for birthworkers, which will launch in the first quarter of next year. Once these are complete I have another 10 or so courses or so in the pipeline, as I want to make everything I teach available online.

    2020 saw the publication of my first book, Why Postnatal recovery matters. I finished the draft in April, and the book was published in July. I was incredibly proud when I received the first copies. I completely overwhelmed when I made it available to buy from me as all 80 copies I had sold within 24h and I hadn’t anticipated this! After a major flap as I tried to sign and post all the ordered copies the morning after the release, I realised this wasn’t possible, and went for a swim instead. Feeling much calmer, I ordered more books, reached out to a couple of experienced authors friends, who gave me great tips to on how sign such a large number of books in a way that still felt enjoyable. Since then I have signed, wrapped and posted close to 300 copies. When I asked a few weeks ago, the publisher told me that over 700 copies had been sold (though we won’t know the exact numbers until March next year). The book currently has 44 five star reviews on Amazon (if you’ve read it, I would love it if you could leave me a review here).

    I also wrote 6 press articles about the book in July. That was an interesting exercise, which took much of my time that month. Each article had to be written from a different angle, so after writing the first one, when I submitted the second the PR person told me I needed to rewrite it entirely as it was too similar to the first! I did get the hang of it eventually and can now add the ability to write press articles superfast to my list of skills. I did the book launch the book as a Facebook live. I was disappointed not to be able to have the real live launch at Pinter and Martin HQ in London, complete with glasses of bubbly. It didn’t feel as real, to do it on Facebook. However, I had a small gathering by the river with some close friends to celebrate the launch, complete with lovely food and a fire. Since the publication, articles about the book have been published in Juno and in the Green Parent magazine, and  I have done 3 podcasts and 5 live interviews on Facebook and Instagram. I have also talked to a French publisher to get the book translated and published in France.

    As well as my book and all the press articles with it, I wrote 14 blog posts this year. Writing is one of aligned, flowing places. It makes me happy, it feeds my soul and I love knowing that my writing helps others.

    This year one of the major lessons I learnt in my work was that I do not have to work so hard, and that my income isn’t necessarily related to the amount of time I spend “working”. I used to think that I had to be at my computer from 9 to 5. This year has brought a lot more spaciousness and flexibility in the way I work and I am much happier for it.

    After doing an online course on to do list with productivity mentor Louise Miller,  I’ve embarked on an amazing new group with her called Make it Happen. Louise’s approach towards goal setting and productivity is very much like being doulaed through a mindful, unique to yourself, goal setting process. It’s like having someone holding space for you to unfold in your own unique way. I am already certain that it will help me stay focused and balanced and in my happy place in the new year.

    This is what my year felt like. Stretched between gratitude and grief. But with more fulfilment and joy than ever before. I love the words of Francis Weller on the topic:

    ” The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief  keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible.”

    I will finish this post with my answer to The Big Questions, which I saw shared on Facebook by Arvigo teacher and wise woman Hilary Lewin. I thought some of you might find them helpful too.

    2020

    What was your greatest success in 2020?

    • Publishing my book

    What word or phrase sums up your experience of 2020?

    • Embody

    What was your best decision?

    • Prioritising time in nature.

    What was the greatest lesson you learnt?

    • That prioritising time in nature allows everything to flow from it

    What was the most loving service you performed?

    • Supporting families through birth and postpartum during the pandemic

    What is your biggest piece of unfinished business?

    • The online course based on my book

    What are you most happy about completing?

    • My book

    Who are the people who had the greatest impact on your life?

    • My friends from the local dance and swim community. And spiritual healers Rebecca Wright and Lee Harris.

    What was the biggest risk you took this year?

    • Trusting into things unfolding by themselves

    What was the biggest surprise?

    • That things worked out and that I did not have to work so hard.

    What important relationship improved the most?

    • The one with myself

    What else do you need to do or say in 2020?

    • Thank you

    2021

    What would you like your biggest triumph to be in 2021?

    • Launching my new work as a soul doula.

    What advice would you give yourself for 2021?

    • Trust in soul time.

    What major effort are you planning on to improve?

    • Finding balance between being focused and not trying to work too hard

    What would you be most happy about completing?

    • Having launched a course on accessing personal heart wisdom.

    What major indulgence do you want to experience?

    • Connection

    What are you looking forward to learning?

    • More about myself

    What might your biggest challenge be?

    • Not trusting that I’m doing enough

    What are you most committed to changing and improving?

    • Using my time wisely, not getting lost in urgent but not important tasks

    What is your as yet one undeveloped talent you are willing to explore?

    • Channelling

    What brings you joy and how will you have more of it?

    • Time in nature. I’m already putting it at the most important task in my diary

    What is your one word to carry you through 2021?

    • Alignment

     

    I’d love to hear if my experience resonates with you.

  • Period Pain: if you’ve been told there is nothing you can do about it, read on.

    Period Pain: if you’ve been told there is nothing you can do about it, read on.

    If you suffer from period pain, or someone you know does, and if you have been told that there is nothing you can do: you have been lied to. There is plenty you can do, it is just that the knowledge isn’t part of what is taught within Western medical training.

    I got my period pain fixed, and it makes me so angry that women are told this lie over and over again, are told that it is normal, because it stops them from seeking the help that is available. I’m on a mission to change this.

    This is my story:

    I suffered from severe period pain from the moment I started my period. The pain was so severe that in my teenage years I used to be sent to the nurse’s room at school each month. I curled up in pain on the bed there and waited for my mother to come and collect me. I would spent the first day or two of each period curled up in bed with a hot water bottle. Sometimes the pain was so bad I vomited.

    I tried everything from mainstream drugs to homeopathy, but nothing worked. Around age 15 I was put on hormonal therapy for it. At age 16 I started taking the pill. As I no longer had “periods” (the bleeding caused by stopping the pill for a week is different from that of a period) I was free of pain. I stayed on the pill from the age of 16 to until I was 33, when I decided to stop taking the pill because I was diagnosed with precancerous cells on my cervix (I read some research showing a link between long term pill taking and these- If you want to read about it, the book “The Pill, Are you sure it’s for you” By Alexandra Pope, is fantastic).

    My period pain came back with a revenge. My husband, who had never seen me with this pain, was shocked at how bad it was. I remember once we were driving  when it started and I had to get him to park on the side of the road as I writhed in pain on the car seat, white as a sheet and covered in cold sweat, until I waited for the painkillers to kick in.

    I went to the GP for help. I remember being stunned when all I was offered was to take pain killers. I said to the GP :  “Really, in 15 years the medicine still hasn’t moved on?”. At the time I was working in a biotech company, and told my boss about this, and he said “if men had pain in their dick once a month you can be sure there would be a drug for it”!

    I resigned myself to taking ibuprofen every month. Then I became pregnant and the pregnancy and birth seemed to temporarily fix the problem. My periods became more regular and I was pain free for a few years after having my children. Then, a few years after my second child was born, the pain came back. I resigned myself to taking the pain killers again.

    In 2014 I met an osteopath in Cambridge called Teddy Brookes. I mentioned this to him and he said he could help. I was surprised and slightly disbelieving, but it was so bad I was willing to try anything. Teddy is trained in visceral osteopathy, something not all osteopaths are trained in. He felt the ligaments around the front of my uterus (the round ligaments), told me they were very tight, and worked on releasing them. It was not comfortable and I had to do some deep birth breathing during the treatment.

    That evening and night I had a lot of cramps in my uterus, but the next morning I woke up feeling absolutely amazing, both physically and emotionally. I felt like nothing could touch me. The next cycle the pain was less but still there. I got in touch with Teddy and he talked me through how to release the ligaments myself. I had to get my husband to do it as I couldn’t get my fingers in the right direction but it helped. Within 2 or 3 cycles I was completely pain free and I have been for 6 years.

    I was baffled by this because as a scientist I knew that from a scientific point of view, the cramps of period pain were caused by hormones called prostaglandins and I couldn’t see why releasing ligaments would affect this. Teddy explained that there cramps were still there, only that they were comfortable. I was delighted to be cured of the pain.

    As I told women about my experience, some asked me to teach them how to release their ligaments. But I didn’t feel comfortable doing that because everybody is unique and I thought maybe other ligaments would be tight and therefore need a different technique. Teddy told me that it is almost always the round ligaments that are too tight (more on that later).

    Other things happened along the way that helped my have a different relationship to my menstrual cycle. In 2016 I attended a workshop by Alexandra Pope of Red School, that helped me understand the changing energies throughout my cycle and how to tap into them. This led me to make sure I rested as much as possible during the first couple of days of my period. I blogged it about here.

    With my own practise, working closely with Teddy (we created a postnatal massage course together), massaging new mothers with closing the bones, with supporting women with healing as a Reiki practitioner, and with training such as spinning babies and biomechanics for birth, I general became more aware of my body and of the importance of good balance for uterine health.

    In 2019 I attended a workshop on womb health by Arvigo massage therapist Hilary Lewin. She brought a life size womb suit and proceeded to demonstrate in a very visual manner how the ligaments of the uterus affect period comfort.

    The uterus is attached to the pelvis by several sets of ligaments. You can see a 3D illustration of how the uterus ligaments attach to the pelvis in this video. The round ligaments in particular attach from the top of the uterus and to the front of the pelvis. A healthy uterus is normally slightly bend over the bladder. If the round ligaments are too tight, the uterus will be bent forward a lot more, making expelling menstrual blood a lot harder, and therefore more painful (as the uterus will need to cramp harder to get the blood out).

    In this video I explain in a very visual way what happens when the uterus is not optimally positioned.

    Part of the problem is that we live sedentary and unbalanced lifestyle so many of us have tight ligaments (sitting down a lot tends to do that) and don’t even know it. Because everything in your body is linked, having tight or unbalanced ligaments and/or pelvis may affect many other things too, such as causing back pain or bowel issues. Abdominal massage therapist Barbara Loomis explains some of this with great illustrations here.

    Sadly many women suffer needlessly suffer from horrendous pain, and because most of us believe the narrative that there is nothing we can do, we don’t seek help.

    Here are some stories to illustrate the pain of what some go through, and in some case what helped them:

    When I was younger, before kids I had some months were I would be crying & in excruciating agony, where I’d lay fetal style for hours in so much pain. Pain killers wouldn’t touch it. It wasn’t like that every month, but definitely had it a lot! I always had heavy periods with less pain or light with more pain! Doctors would always say : ‘it can’t be that bad’ and would basically ignore me. They wouldn’t believe me that paracetamol or ibuprofen didn’t work for me (I have a condition where I metabolise drugs really fast) I remember once (this is awful but) taking the strongest pain killers my Nan had prescribed to her for chronic pain, they still only barely took the edge off! My husband found me in a ball crying once & tried to take me to hospital but I knew there was no point. Once I started having kids I found they got so much better. I now have fairly ok period pain but I do now wrap my hips, use reiki, have a bath & rest (especially on my first day as much as I can)! Carly Lokrheim

    From the onset of my periods I had severe pain. Every month I used to be floored in agony. I went yellow in skin tone and was physically sick and sometimes past out. I used fear it every month. My bleed was so heavy and clotted I used to leak right through my school uniform. I was taken to the doctors many many times and was fobbed off and treated as a silly girl. I felt (and it was said) that I had a low pain threshold and I would not be able to handle birth. This put me off ever having children (right up until I was in my mid 30’s) As I got older PMT got more and more intense till it started to affect my marriage. At this point I started Ayurvedic treatment which included massage, life style changes and diet changes. This really really helped with my periods and PMT. When we tried to get pregnant I found there was unexplained infertility, I started acupuncture and found it really helpful and also had a laparoscopy and found I had endometriosis scaring and fibroids. I think a combination of all three treatments/practices helped us to conceive and go on to have two babies. I now follow my cycles and adapt my life (as much as possible) to follow my inner seasons or at least be aware of them. I now also use a moon cup and relish my bleed as a time to retreat and surrender. Clare Wilson Hasted

    I had awful period pain from the age of 11 when it started, I would vomit and faint/ pass out with the pain. I was put on the pill at 13 it didn’t really help what did help was paracetamol, hot water bottles and rest. Then in my late teens I read a book called Who dies? and starting using the meditations in there to cope with the pain, I used the same meditations to cope with my contractions. I also took cramp bark. Staci Sylvan

    I tend to bleed for 17 – 20 days and I have excruciating period pains. This started at the age of 13 and has followed my entire life. I had hoped pregnancy might help but 6 weeks after giving birth sure enough agonising pains. I have tried so many therapies, pills  implant etc. And the pain each month is still so severe I missed time off school as a teenager and miss work as an adult. Every job I have had I keep a hot water bottle at my desk and painkillers in a drawer. I have had a mirena since the age of 21 and since then have not missed work due to period pains. My cycle became regular and bleeding only for 5 days. After having my son I had a 4 year break from the mirena. I realised I just couldn’t cope without it, my body hurt so much, I was exhausted and honestly just not a nice person as I was in agony so often, couldn’t sleep, didn’t want my husband touching me. I had the mirena inserted last November and I remember about 7 days later feeling like I had woken up. My foggy head cleared and I felt in control of my body again. I do get pain but it’s manageable with a hot water bottle and rest. I am happier, calmer, more patient and I feel like I have my life back. I can’t over state how much the Mirena has changed my life. It’s spectacular and I will always be grateful to the GP who initially recommended it after about 7 years of begging for help and being dismissed as “you’re female you just have to deal with it”. In terms of the pain  for me it’s thighs, bum, lower back and lower abdomen. It can been so painful I vomit from it. I feel like my whole body is stiff, exercise makes it worse. Rocking my hips on a gym ball cam help or gentle bouncing. When it’s at its worse there is no way I can work, I can barely talk and usually just end up crying. Jay

    As a teenager my period pain was severe. If my daughter experienced pain like that, I would take her to the doctor, or emergency in some cases I had. However, I was too afraid/embarrassed/shamed/whatever to tell my mom or anyone. I remember having to go into work while vomiting and hunched over in pain because my boss wouldn’t take no for an answer because I didn’t sound sick. Sharon Bales

    I’m aware that period pain can be caused by other issues than biomechanics. I know that some have PCOS or endometriosis or other conditions…but it is the same: you are sadly unlikely to get answers from mainstream medical professionals because they simply lack the training, knowledge and the tools to help you. It’s not their fault, rather it is the very narrow view of how Western culture sees the body that is to blame. As Katie Bowman explains in this article:

    “Dysmenorrhea is a pain, literally. It’s a painful period, ranging from light to severe, that can also include vomiting, diarrhoea, headache and fainting. The “primary” means that the dysmenorrhoea is not occurring simultaneously with another known pelvic pathology. (Secondary dysmenorrhoea can be created or affected by issues like endometriosis and fibroids that can cause extremely painful periods, and I know that people suffering from those conditions have likely heard a million “just do this” solutions, and I’m not trying to offer that here, although I hope that movement might relieve some part of your pain.”

    So what can you do to help with period pain? Here are some of the therapies I have personally used or heard that some had success with:

    See a bodyworker that can work on your uterus alignment. This could be an osteopath or a chiropractor or a physiotherapist who is trained in visceral osteopathy. Or you could see someone who is trained in womb massage such as an Arvigo massage or a Mizan Therapy, or a Fertility Massage practitioner. Having a closing the bones massage may help too. Make sure to get recommendation from good local practitioners.

    For the past year or so I had been suffering with debilitating period pains: I would faint, hang from my husband’s neck as if I was in labour, I’d only find relief in the bathtub where I’d be playing mermaid for at least half a day on my first day of bleeding. It got so bad I was checked for endometriosis and cervical cancer (as I also got 1 cycle with constant intermittent bleeding between 2 periods). Nothing wrong physically. After Sophie Messager mentioned her osteopath helping her with period pains to the point she is now pain free, I spoke to my chiropractor, where I’m currently going for regular sessions on another issue. For the past 2 cycles, she’s worked on my pelvis and the round ligaments holding my womb, and – touch wood – I’ve only had the slightest dull sensation on my previous cycle, not even worth calling pain, and am TOTALLY pain free in my current cycle. The difference is totally unbelievable. Ladies, if you suffer from period pain, this might be THE thing that changes everything. I already used rebozos, aromatherapy, herbal teas for myself, but nothing was even touching the edge of it. Until I got the tension in the ligaments released. I don’t even notice now, physically, that I’m on my period. (Emotionally and energy-wise I still do, and aromatherapy, herbs and rebozos still have a role to play there — but now it’s just become a week of gorgeous self-care, not a week of intense pain that makes that self-care so focused on the pain). Japjeet Rajbir Kaur Khalsa

    I personally found osteopathy and Ayurveda completely resolves my painful periods. Also reframing my understanding after reading Wild Power has been beyond powerful. Emma Hayward

    Work on your alignment (either face to face with a specialist such a physiotherapist, Pilates or yoga teacher or with an online course-see a list of courses at the end of this blog). Rosie Dhoopun is an alignment specialist. She shows you a movement routine to ease period pain here.

    Alignment and movement worked for me. Plus surprisingly using cloth pads. I even get mild cramps using a mooncup so use that infrequently. I used to suffer terribly as a child and eat a whole packet of feminax to get through. These last years I use to have such bad knee pain but all stopped since releasing tension. Isn’t it such a shame we are told it’s normal and medication is the best thing. Rosie Dhoopun

    My periods were once every 6 months. And I’d be on strong painkillers for a week to get even near function. I saw a chiropractor, switched to barefoot shoes and started stretching my calves in my 30’s which took me to regular and pain free. Philippa Wilmot

    See an acupuncturist. I have personally had great results treating infertility and recurrent miscarriages with one and I found that it helped make my period more comfortable too. Here is a review of the evidence behind the effectiveness of acupuncture for period pain by the Acupuncture council.

    See a herbalist. I saw Natasha at Forage Botanicals to help with the symptoms of the perimenopause who specialises in treating painful periods.

    See a homeopath. Here is an article with some suggestions on homeopathic remedies that might help.

    See a nutrition specialist with experience in this area. Since painful periods can be caused by too much inflammation in the body, changing your diet may help your pain.

    Nutritional therapy helped me. Period pain was crippling as a teen and rectified by the pill, which I took for ten years but it caused depression. Period pains got quite bad again slowly over the course of a few years and then stopped when I stopped smoking and did a sugar detox! My friend is a nutritional therapist, I was having bad mood swings all the time and awful cramps during my period. I wanted to try anything that would stop me needing SSRIs. She told me it was because the body can take a certain amount of stress but it has limits, so when I stopped smoking, it had better circulation and that helps with pain management and when I stopped eating sugar, less stress on my organs and hormones. Barely a cramp since. Abbi Leibert

    I found my period pain (not severe but present and very uncomfortable) almost disappeared after going vegan. Pippa Moss

    I had breakthrough bleeding in between my periods every month for nearly 3 years, I had all sorts of investigations scans biopsies nothing came back as a problem. Even had 4 miscarriages but still nothing has been found as a problem despite all the blood tests and so on. I discovered something called hair tissue mineral analysis and arrange the sample sent off I also did some additional blood tests privately. I found extensive mineral deficiencies and results consistent with hypothyroid despite normal blood results. I had a specially adapted list of supplements and dietary changes given to me by nutritional list and Six months on no breakthrough bleeding my period is so much more manageable, even more so since I discovered magnesium spray, and I have been wrapping my hips for quite some time. Still not entirely sure what our future holds in terms of pregnancies but at the moment I’m just happy with how far I’ve come in the six months. Nicola Witcombe

    Other more unusual things to try:

    Year round wild swimming (I’m not suggesting you swim in cold water during the actual bleeding when keeping warm is important), but there is mounting evidence that it does wonders to you wellbeing. It earthes you as well, see my blog on the subject.

    Try grounding yourself. Since period pain is at least in part caused by inflammation, and earthing/grounding has been shown to decrease inflammation, it may help. It can be as simple as walking or standing barefoot on the ground/grass. See a review of the evidence behind earthing in this paper.

    Try dancing. Movement has been shown to ease period pain, and boost blood flow. Conscious dance practises, such as 5rhythms, allows you to get deep into a movement that is unique to you.

    Nicky Smith, Ecstatic dance facilitator, says:

    “One thing which really helped me was movement. Our usual & natural inclination is to move away from pain & discomfort, of course! If we can move towards it, even a little, then allow the movement & expression to come from that place in our body it can give the intensity an expression which can support a release. Breathing into that place & moving on the exhale, helping our system to relax into rather than away from. The more I practise this approach the more I can move towards the pinnacle of the pain/discomfort and when I reach that edge my body will naturally start shaking. We can of course induce shaking ourselves. Another sweet release can be with our voice, giving that pain a sound, sometimes alongside movement can be a powerful medicine.”

    Ideally you would be able to see someone who is holistic in their approach and will take a case history and who can suggest an approach that covers all bases. But trying even one therapy is well worth it as it may be your first step on the road towards of a pain free period.

    As a teenager I never looked for help, because period and its pain is/was a taboo; I also lied down in a foetus position crying from pain. No pain anymore after having kids; what helped me was to accept my female body, as well as solving female ancestral karma (Closing the bones, constellation therapy, cranio-sacral therapy). So not one particular method, but rather awareness that menstrual taboos are so deep in our consciousness and that unhealed ancestral female traumas feel so painful in the body because the one/generation who becomes aware of that releases a lot of that ancestral shit with the energy of menstruation. Laura Linde

    What can you do for yourself (without seeing a therapist)

    Wrap your hips! I show you how to do this in this video. Because it supports the pelvis, the uterus and its ligaments, and because it provides warmth, wrapping your pelvis during your period may provide relief. I show a simple way of doing it in this video (there are others on my YouTube channel, and I have a blog on postnatal wrapping that is full of examples of ways to do it). Here is a blog post from Mizan Therapy explaining why it might help.

    Try switching to using reusable menstrual products. Some women report a decrease in period pain when they switched to using washable pads, period pants or a menstrual cup (There is a great YouTube channel about reusable sanitary products and menstrual cups here).

    My extremely heavy flow (so much so I couldn’t go to work 2 days at start of period, leaked through clothes etc) was helped hugely by moving to cloth sanitary protection. They say the chemicals in disposable pads increase flow. There was never a mention of the sanitary wear I used as a cause, rather the potential need for gynae reviews and long term medication. Thankfully not needed thanks to cloth sanitary products. Claire Pitchford

    My biggest healer has been switching to cloth and organic, un bleached sanitary ware and a series of womb massage sessions with Tania Meacher-Payne. She knocked my period down from 10-6 days. Life changing. I call her the womb fairy. Vikki Young

    Work on your alignment yourself.  Alignment specialist Rosie Dhoopun runs an online courses on the topic. In this video she explains a set of techniques you can do yourself.

    There is a list of things to try to decrease period pain in this blog by Katy Bowman :

    • “1.  Two days before the expected time for the flow to begin, reduce the amount of work done and increase the amount of rest.  Take a warm tub bath each evening for thirty minutes.
    • 2.  When the flow starts, go to bed and keep hot-water bottles to the feet and lower abdomen.
    • 6.  To help prevent future attacks of dysmenorrhea give attention to the following:
    • a.  Regular habits of eating, sleeping, and exercise.
    • b.  A wholesome diet, free from spices, condiments, greasy or fried food, tea and coffee, with little or no fresh food.
    • c.  Avoid tight clothing, and see that the limbs, neck, and chest are prevented from chilling.
    • d.  Correct constipation, if present.”

    Take an online course:

    Checkout some websites

    Read some books:

    Here are the ones I have read and loved.

    • Wild Power by Alexandra Pope
    • Period Power by Maisie Hill
    • The wise wound by Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove
    • Women’s bodies Women Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup
    • Moon Time by Lucy Pearce

    For supporting puberty:

    • Reaching for the moon by Lucy Pearce
    • How to support your daughter through puberty by Melonie Syrett

    And here is a collection of 28 books on the topic

    I’d love to hear about any other resources or therapies you have found useful!

  • A little bit of background about rebozos and their use to support women

    A little bit of background about rebozos and their use to support women

    I was introduced to the art of using the traditional Mexican shawl called the rebozo back in 2013 when I attended a workshop by doula Stacia Smales Hill on rebozo use for labour and birth. During the same year I also attended a workshop by Dr Rocio Alarcon, who taught a postnatal massage technique called closing the bones, some elements of which included rocking and binding with a rebozo.

    Over the course of the following years I pursued my knowledge further by doing several more workshops with Rocio, and several other rebozo workshops with different focuses, such as the rebozo for labour progress and malposition with Selina Wallis, micromovements with Francoise Freedman, 2 different spinning babies with Jennifer Walker and Gail Tully, and a workshop on healing diastasis recti  with Birthlight which included many rebozo techniques.

    I am also a babywearing instructor, and as such use rebozos and wraps to carry babies too.

    As I started teaching workshops around closing the bones and rebozo work as well as babywearing, the incredibly versatile use of the cloth really blew my mind.

    As I met people through teaching, I constantly questioned people I met about their culture’s practises, I started to build a picture in my mind of something much more universal than the rebozo.

    It seems that every culture had a piece of cloth of some kind, call it a shawl, a sarong, a scarf, or a wrap.

    Whilst the rebozo is a traditional shawl from Mexico and some South American countries, I found that other cultures used different pieces of cloths in the same fashion.

    Cold countries often us thick, woollen fabrics (think Welsh Shawl or Scottish plaid), and warmer countries, cooler, thin, cotton fabric (think African Kanga or Indonesian Sarong).

    There are almost too many fabrics to count, but one thing is for sure, women have used all sorts of cloths in incredibly versatile ways, and what I’m going to say below about the rebozo is true for many other cultures too. It’s a truly universal practise.

    I spent a few years believing that the use of the rebozo during labour was uniquely South American but I have since met a Somalian midwife who told me how they use their traditional shawl, called a Garbasar, in a similar way during labour. Supporting a pregnant woman from the same country confirmed this, and in fact her mother even showed me how it is used to bind the abdomen post birth.

    I trained a Moroccan birth worker in doing closing the bones, and she was surprised when she started offering the massage that women came forward and told her they’d had a similar treatment in the local hammam (Steam bath/wet room) after birth (using a traditional Moroccan cloth called a Mendil).  Tunisia offers a similar practise called a fouta massage (the fouta is a hammam towel, which is very similar in nature to the Turkish towel-it has become a very popular alternative to beach towels in France recently).

    I am lucky to be part of a multicultural family, being French and married to a man from Hong Kong. In Hong Kong I’ve been told they use a long piece of muslin cloth to bind the woman’s hips and abdomen after birth, and my mother in law showed me how the midwifes taught her to wrap her belly with a towel post birth.

    It’s also quite fascinating to see how contact with foreign cultures can influence each other. For example I recently acquired a Dutch postpartum girdle called a Sluitlaken. I couldn’t help but notice how similar to Indonesian postpartum binding it looks, then a friend pointed out than Holland used to have Indonesian colonies!

    So, what can you do with a rebozo (or a scarf of shawl)?

    Pretty much all cultures on the planet, some kind of cloth is used to cradle and carry a baby. In some cultures is used to rock and soothe the baby too. Rocking is such a primal rhythm we all experienced it in our mother’s womb, that we find it soothing all through our lives.  Even in Europe there are pictures of women wearing their babies in Welsh shawls which date from the 1940s.

    Later, when the baby grew into a toddler and child, she would use the cloth to dress up, pretend play (including carrying toys and/or animals, pretending to carry a baby), make a den etc.

    As the child grew into a young woman she would use the cloth as a shawl to keep warm, as a clothing accessory, a blanket, to carry siblings ( in traditional cultures women learn baby care from a very young age as they tend to live with extended families), and to carry loads on her back or head.

    Later still when she became a woman, she might have been given her own shawl as part of a menarche ceremony. She might have worn a special cloth on her wedding day.

    When she became pregnant, she would have used the shawl to support her belly, and her midwives would have used it to alleviate the aches and pains of pregnancy, and maybe to help the baby move into the best position for birth.

    During labour she would have used the shawl to hang from, to pull on, and her birth attendants would have used it to provide comfort measures, such as sifting, rocking, shaking, and wrapping.

    After the birth she would have had a “baby moon”. Again this is something pretty much universal in the world-women the world around have been alleviated from household tasks and cared for by family members for the first 30 to 40 days postpartum. During this time they would rest so they could recover from growing and birthing their baby and get to know their baby and learn to care for them. Her birth attendants and the community of women would have come to feed her nourishing food, and help her body heal from the pregnancy and birth by using  a combination of their hands, massage techniques and using the cloth to help move and bind her hips and abdomen to help them back into place. In the West we used to have this practise called “churching” whereby the new mother was expected to rest for a month before rejoining the community and be welcome back during a special blessing at the church (you can read about it here). The research I have done for my upcoming book “Why postnatal recovery matters” has also shown me that the rest AND the binding still used to be part of the UK culture, less than 70 years ago.

    She then would have start to use the cloth to carry her baby and start the cycle all over again.

    Later as she grew old, her family members would have used the cloth to rock and soothe aches and pain.

    Women would have been buried with their shawl using it as a shroud.

    So you see, a traditional cloth, rebozo, shawl or cloth can be used to support a woman throughout her whole life. It is a universal phenomenon on our planet.

    As the shawl came out of fashion and modern practises like using pushchairs became seen as more fashionable and desirable, this skill was soon lost, and because like most traditional women-only practises, it was just passed on orally rather than written about, the knowledge was lost very quickly, in one or two generations. We also tend to embrace “modern” practises mindlessly, seeing traditional ones as backwards and old fashioned.

    Mexican and Chinese friends tell me that nobody wants to use the traditional shawl or carrier these days as only remote farmers or beggars still use them.

    This is  something that we need to reclaim and teach all women, as it is part of the essence of women circles and supporting women through life transitions.

    This is why I am so passionate about passing this skills to both expectant and new mothers, and to anybody who works with expectant and new mothers. It is our birthright!

    You can learn more about the Rebozo and its many wonderful uses to support pregnancy, birth and the postpartum in my online rebozo course.

    (This is an update  from a blog I published originally in 2018)

    If you have found this blog helpful and would like to support my work and help me continue provide valuable free information to birthworkers and expectant and newborn families, you can donate to my paypal account paypal.me/SophieMessager.