🥁 New Course Alert 🥁 Join me on ‘The Women Drum Keepers Collective’ Learn More

Sophie Messager

Category: consciousness

  • Beyond the High-Ticket Trap: Grow Your Business Without Selling Your Soul

    Beyond the High-Ticket Trap: Grow Your Business Without Selling Your Soul

    You don’t need $10k coaching programs or manipulative marketing to create a sustainable healing business.

    As a holistic professional with 13 years of experience in the self-employed world, I’ve seen my fair share of marketing tactics, the good, the bad, and the downright manipulative. I’m writing this article because I’m fed up. Fed up with unethical, overpriced marketing coaches who prey on vulnerable business owners struggling to make ends meet. I’ve been there, fallen for their promises, and learned the hard way that there’s a better path. 

    When we’re drowning in to-do lists, struggling to balance client care with self-care, and watching our bank accounts with growing anxiety, it’s all too easy to fall prey to the siren song of quick fixes and overnight success promises. The desperation that comes with feeling overwhelmed can cloud your judgement, making those flashy high-ticket coaching programs seem like lifelines rather than potential anchors. 

    The truth I’ve discovered on my own bumpy journey: there’s a better way to grow our heart-centred businesses, one that honours our sensitivity and aligns with our values. I want to share with you why high-ticket coaching often misses the mark for practitioners like us, and how we can find a more authentic path to growing a sustainable business.

    This is my story, my rant, and my plea for a more conscious approach to business coaching. If you’re a sensitive holistic business owner like me, or if you’ve ever felt pressured by high-ticket marketing tactics, this is for you. Let’s pull back the curtain on these manipulative practices and explore what truly ethical marketing looks like.

    I am dedicated to helping other business owners like me connect with their authenticity, and support them towards more authenticity, calm and spaciousness. 

    My Rollercoaster Ride: 13 Years as a Holistic Entrepreneur

    I am 13 years into working as a self employed holistic professional. There have been a lot of ups and downs, both work focus wise and financially. However, I have managed to keep my business afloat despite many twists and turns, including the lockdowns of 2020 forcing me to move all of my in person offerings online (this turned out to be a blessing), changes of business directions, and managing the complex balancing act of running a demanding business and raising two neurodivergent children, as a neurodivergent woman.

    I am a multi-passionate creative woman. I cannot just do one thing in my work or only use one approach, because it is far too boring for me.  I have ADHD (got late diagnosed aged 53) and I thrive on novelty, learning, and exploration. Of course my business has constantly evolved.  I started as a doula, antenatal teacher, and babywearing instructor. Over the years, I learnt a ton of new skills, found myself starting to share these with others, and  moved from teaching parents to teaching birth and holistic professionals. I have taught over 35 different types of courses and workshops, in person and online. I have also published 2 books.

    My journey as a self-employed practitioner has been a rollercoaster of learning experiences, with a lot of joy along the way, and also burnout as an unwelcome frequent visitor. In my first year as a doula, I dove in headfirst, taking on more clients than I could handle. I grossly underestimated the emotional and energetic toll of pouring my heart and soul into supporting new mothers. 

    Fast forward a few years, and there I was again, teetering on the edge of burnout. This time, I found myself caught in the classic entrepreneur’s trap : working myself to the bone, whilst not earning enough, and feeling utterly clueless about how to break the cycle.

    Enter the siren call of high-ticket coaching. You know the type : glossy programs that speak directly to your deepest insecurities, your financial fears, and your desperate desire for a solution. They dangle the carrot of a six-figure income in just a few months, if only you follow their “foolproof” formula. In my overwhelmed, financially stressed state, it seemed like a lifeline. 

    High ticket coaches are the flashy sports cars of the coaching world : all shine and promises, but often lacking in substance. These are the folks who charge eye-watering amounts for their programs, thousands or even tens of thousands of pounds. They market themselves as the crème de la crème, the only solution to your business woes. Their sales pitches are slick, promising rapid transformations and six-figure incomes in mere months. 

    The high price tag often has more to do with clever marketing than actual value. These coaches prey on your desperation, your dreams, and yes, even your trauma. They use high-pressure tactics, false scarcity, and grandiose promises to convince you that their overpriced program is the magic bullet you need. But remember, in the world of coaching, a higher price doesn’t necessarily mean better results, it just means a bigger dent in your bank account.

    When I hired one of these high-ticket coaches, a little voice in my head whispered that this coach wasn’t aligned with my values. But desperation has a way of drowning out intuition. So I dove in, working with this coach for several intense months.

    On the surface, it seemed to be working : my visibility increased, and I was ‘putting myself out there’. But beneath that veneer of progress, the cracks were starting to show. My overwhelm skyrocketed. What I didn’t realise then (but know now) was that I’m neurodivergent (Neurodivergent people often get more easily overwhelmed than neurotypical ones), which added an extra layer of challenge to an already unsustainable situation.

    I’ve always been the type to set sky-high expectations for myself. It’s like I have an internal taskmaster that never sleeps, constantly pushing for more. Working with this coach amplified that inner critic, increasing the pressure I was already putting on myself.

    When I look back (hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn’t it?), I can see that it was unethical that this coach never once asked about my life outside of business. How many hours could I realistically dedicate to the program? What other commitments was I juggling? What was my personal situation? And crucially, how long would it actually take to implement all their ‘foolproof’ strategies? These questions were never even on the table.

    Instead, I was handed a social media schedule that would make even the most seasoned influencer break out in sweat. It was like being asked to run a marathon when I was already gasping for air. The guilt started creeping in : every time I couldn’t tick off all the boxes on the coach’s to-do list, I felt like I was failing. 

    The marketing tactics promoted also involved manipulation. I didn’t know this yet, but this is deeply harmful for heart centred solopreneurs, because it destroys trust (more on that later).

    What had started as a lifeline was quickly becoming an anchor, dragging me deeper into the overwhelm I was desperately trying to escape.

    The aftermath of my high-ticket coaching experience wasn’t pretty. It took two solid years and the guidance of a more holistic marketing coach to unravel the pressure, stress, guilt, and misalignment that had tangled up my business and my mind. 

    Thankfully, the story takes a turn for the better.

    Finding ethical coaches

    I first discovered Leonie Dawson’s courses when I decided to launch my first online course and had no idea where to start. What drew me in wasn’t just the practical business advice, it was her philosophy, and infectious, sweary, honest energy. Leonie has built a multi-million business entirely on her own terms, and she does it without manipulation, without false scarcity, and without making people feel bad about themselves in order to sell to them.

    She was the first person who really helped me overcome impostor syndrome, because her approach was disarmingly simple: share what you already know. Not what you think you should know, not what you imagine an expert looks like, but the actual knowledge and experience you already carry. That reframe changed everything for me.

    Her definition of marketing has stayed with me since. For Leonie it is not about clever funnels or pressure tactics. It is, in her words, about hearts connecting: showing up to radiate your light so that the people who need what you offer can find you. That is ethical selling in its simplest and most honest form. Making yourself visible to the people you are genuinely here to serve.

    Oh and her courses are incredibly affordable too, and she has an affiliate system which means that I earn more than I pay her to be a member of her academy.

    Remember, my loves, selling from the heart isn’t just about making money – it’s about creating change, building relationships, and staying true to yourself. Leonie Dawson

    I’m sharing my journey : the good, the bad, and the expensive, because I want you to know that there’s hope. Truly conscious, ethical marketing mentors exist, and they’re not hiding behind a paywall that requires a second mortgage to access. They’re out there, offering genuine value without breaking the bank.

    A few years down the line, I stumbled upon another marketing mentor (inside one of Leonie’s groups actually), George Kao, who also felt like a breath of fresh air in the overpriced world of business coaching. George was truly ethical, authentic to their core, and completely aligned with my values as a holistic practitioner. His courses were also extremely affordable. I stayed in George’s mastermind group for 3 years, and I had an education. George was the first person to teach me how to market in a way that didn’t feel yucky. Until I worked with him, I hadn’t understood that marketing, as long as it doesn’t involved manipulation, is simply an act of service. After I started working with him, I shared upfront in my free workshops that I was going to share about a paid product in the workshop, and if felt transparent and non pushy, so I no longer cringed when I came to the moment of sharing said paid product.

    My experience taught me a valuable lesson: in the world of marketing mentors, the most expensive option isn’t always the best. I remember Leonie Dawson blowing my mind when she said that courses that cost $1000 aren’t better than the ones that cost $100, it’s just a marketing choice. Until then, I had assumed that more money = more value. But sometimes, the most valuable guidance comes at a price that respects both your budget and your values. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and tempted by those flashy high-ticket offers, take a deep breath. There’s another way, and I’m living proof that it works.

    When Desperation Meets Manipulation: The High-Ticket Trap

    A few years ago, I dipped my toes into the world of impostor syndrome mentoring. What I discovered was both eye-opening and heartbreaking. Many of the women I spoke with had their own horror stories about high-ticket coaches. These weren’t just anecdotes; they were tales of new business owners plunging into debt, chasing the promise of success.

    Despite the hefty price tags, these women got very little in return. Why? Because these programs were often overcrowded calls masquerading as personalised coaching. There was simply no room for the individual attention these budding solopreneurs desperately needed.

    Let’s break down why high-ticket programs often fall flat:

    • 1) No  one can promise you results. Consuming a course is easy. But digesting and applying what you have learned is the real work.
    • 2) Expensive, famous coaches often subcontract their group programs to other, less experienced coaches. You sign up thinking you’ll be learning from the master herself, only to find out you’ve been pawned off to a junior coach who’s barely a step ahead of you.
    • 3) Masterminds from famous people are often run in huge groups where you have very little access to the coach, and therefore time to ask questions or get the individualised help you need..
    • 4) Many of these coaches aren’t really interested in your success. They’re interested in your wallet. You’re not a person to nurture; you’re a lead to convert into their next high-ticket offer. (George Kao has shared that he sometimes poses as a potential customer for famous high ticket coaches, and that they never even find out that he is one of their competitors, because they aren’t interested in knowing him as a person, only to sell to him).

    The bottom line? These high-ticket programs often leave you feeling more like an impostor than ever, with a maxed-out credit card to boot. It’s a painful lesson that many learn the hard way.

    The high ticket coach I worked with told me that “my client’s financial situation wasn’t my problem“. Contrast this with the fact that the ethical marketing coaches I have worked with since have all asked me if I could afford their programme without hardship before I signed up….

    Whatever your situation, as a business owner, income is likely to be a priority for you. If it’s the only priority, that’s when we run into trouble. That’s where we see businesses that prioritise profits before people and we all know how that goes. As conscious business owners, only focusing on money isn’t enough of a driver for us, so it would be unsustainable over the long term if this was our only priority.  Caroline Leon

    The Siren Song of Six-Figure Promises: My Brush with High-Ticket Marketing

    Despite my first bad experience, the scary thing is, I nearly got stung again!

    A few years ago I attended a free all day workshop in a posh London hotel, a day supposedly designed to teach us how to market ourselves better, led by a famous, well established marketing coach. What actually happened is that there was no real useful info given throughout the day. It was just designed to sell us a very expensive group program. The cost of the year long group program was £1000 a month, with a 12 month contract you could not get out of. 

    I very nearly signed up despite the eye watering cost, because the woman running the program was so good at promising results. Thankfully something stopped me.

    The last couple of years, I was in a small conscious marketing group mastermind run by Caroline Leon. There were only 20 people in the program, and I paid £115  a month for it. I loved this group because it connected me with like minded people and kept me accountable, and it also felt doable and not overwhelming. In fact, I am still co-working with two women I met in this group on a weekly basis.

    In this group I met a mindset coach called Betty Cottam Bertels. Betty introduced me to another ethical marketing mentor called Tag Hargrave, who runs a business called Marketing for hippies. I joined Betty on a day-long workshop in London with Tad 2 years ago, one that he runs on a “pay what you can afford” basis. 

    Betty introduced Tad’s workshop by telling her story of having signed up to a very expensive business coaching program, only to become really disillusioned when she realised that she had no access to the front woman: instead the course was facilitated by sub-contracted coaches with less experience who did not fit her needs.

    When I asked her which program this was, it turned out to be the very one I had nearly signed up for. I felt like I had a very lucky escape.

    Trauma-Targeted Marketing: The Uncomfortable Truth

    High-ticket coaches often sell to your trauma. Why? Because it works. They know that when you’re feeling vulnerable, stressed, and desperate for change, you’re more likely to reach for what seems like a lifeline – even if it comes with a huge price tag. They use language that triggers your pain points, promising to solve all your problems if only you invest in their “exclusive” program. It’s manipulative, it’s unethical, and it’s downright harmful. These coaches aren’t interested in your healing; they’re interested in your wallet. They exploit your past hurts and current struggles to make you feel like their overpriced program is the only solution. But here’s the truth: real healing and business growth don’t come from a magic bullet solution. They come from consistent effort, genuine support, and ethical practices that honour your journey, not exploit it.

    As George Kao explains in this blog post:

    Sadly, much of the persuasion psychology being used (and taught) in marketing – the stoking of fear, uncertainty, doubt (FUD) – “works” on people with traumatic backgrounds… because they’ve invested so much in the guru’s advice, they might experience the sunk cost fallacy. “The teacher must know better than me… otherwise, they couldn’t charge so much money. I should’ve succeeded like them by now.” George Kao

    George also explains that setting yourself small, achievable goals, builds up your confidence, whereas setting sky high unachievable one has the opposite effect.

    If you’re running a heart-centred holistic business, listen up: those manipulative, salesy tactics might seem tempting when you’re desperate for clients, but they’re damaging for your business’s long-term health. They erode the very foundation of what makes your work special :  trust.

    Your clients come to you for healing, for support, for a safe space. The moment you start using pushy sales tactics, you’re betraying that trust. It’s like offering a warm hug with one hand and a sales pitch with the other. It just doesn’t work.

    These aggressive marketing strategies aren’t just misaligned with your business – they’re misaligned with your soul. They go against everything you stand for, everything that made you choose this beautiful, challenging path of holistic care in the first place.

    George Kao calls these strategies “marketing to the lizard brain” and explains why it feels misaligned, why it harms your business, and even society as a whole:

    By inciting the people’s lizard brain, marketers (and politicians) do in fact gain more control over their audience in the short-term. It’s power-over others, rather than empowerment of others.  George Kao

    But here’s the good news: there’s another way. A way that’s as authentic as your most heartfelt client session. A way that’s as true as your commitment to healing and growth.

    This path might not promise overnight success or six-figure months, but it promises something far more valuable: a business that’s a true extension of your healing work. A business that attracts clients who resonate with your authentic self, not a manufactured marketing persona.

    So, take a deep breath. Release the pressure to conform to aggressive marketing tactics. Your business can thrive without compromising your values. In fact, it will thrive because you’re honouring those values. And that, my fellow holistic practitioner, is the true path to long-term success and fulfilment.

    Having worked with authentic marketing coaches for 4 years, I can see manipulative tactics from a mile. And I truly believe that these tactics belong to the past. That they, and the people who use them, are dinosaurs, destined to become extinct.

    In this article, George Kao lists and explains which marketing techniques to avoid in your heart centred business.

    The Ethical Marketing Oasis: Finding Genuine Mentors

    Finding my first ethical marketing mentor felt like stumbling upon an oasis in a desert of manipulation. Such people are out there, and working with them is a game-changer. These are the folks who genuinely care about your success, not just their bank balance. They’re transparent about their methods, clear about their pricing, and they won’t promise you the moon and stars overnight. Instead, they offer real, actionable advice that aligns with your values as a heart-centred business owner. 

    They give away tons of value for free or at low cost, because their goal is to serve, not just to sell. When you find these gems, it’s like a weight lifts off your shoulders. Suddenly, marketing doesn’t feel icky anymore. You’re not compromising your integrity for success. You’re growing your business in a way that feels authentic and sustainable. And the best part? These ethical mentors often charge a fraction of what the high-ticket gurus do.

    Working with ethical coaches has been like a breath of fresh air for my business – and my sanity. Instead of feeling pressured and overwhelmed, I’ve found myself actually enjoying the process of growing my business. These genuine mentors have helped me tap into my authentic voice, allowing me to market my services in a way that feels aligned with my values as a holistic practitioner. I’m no longer trying to squeeze myself into a one-size-fits-all marketing mould that leaves me feeling yucky.

    The impact? My business has grown organically, attracting clients who resonate with my authentic approach. I’m earning more whilst working less hours, without burning out or compromising my integrity. But more than that, I’ve regained my confidence and joy in my work. These ethical coaches have shown me that it’s possible to be successful without resorting to manipulative tactics. They’ve given me practical, sustainable strategies that I can implement at my own pace, respecting my neurodivergent needs and my commitment to my family.

    The best part? I’m not just learning how to market better – I’m learning how to build a business that truly reflects who I am and the change I want to see in the world. 

    The Ethical Marketing Checklist: What to Look For in a Coach/Mentor

    Having worked with 3 different ethical marketing coaches here are the things I have found they have in common:

    • Transparency & authenticity: They are clear about their methods, pricing, and expected outcomes, and open about their own qualifications and experience.  They never make over inflated promises or guarantees. 
    • Ethical practises: They avoid manipulative of deceptive tactics, such as time pressure (buy it now for X or it will never be available again), or fake inflated prices (“sign up now and get this (fake) bonuses priced at thousand of pounds/dollars) They promote truthful and accurate marketing messages. 
    • Client centred: They focus on supporting their audience and clients, not just what’s profitable. You can feel it in their presence and writing: serving is their overarching goal.
    • They are value-driven: They emphasise creating genuine value for customers, and encourages sustainable, long-term growth over quick wins
    • Nurture: they nurture their audience by giving away valuable content on their website, their social media channels, low cost offers, books etc. They give away so much that if you are able to keep yourself accountable on your own, you could learn enough to transform your business from their free or low cost content alone. Most of their social media posts are about this nurturing, with the odd course/workshop offer in between.
    • (Note: This is in stark contrast to high ticket coaches. I have found that these never give away anything of value unless you buy their course. They are masters in the art of running “free” webinars, workshops or challenges, where they talk about their success and clients’ success stories, whilst never telling you how to do it. It is purely a promotion exercise. Their social media is not about nurturing it’s about selling.)
    • Holistic Perspective: They consider the impact of their marketing strategies on society. They encourages socially responsible marketing practices
    • Ethical Pricing: They charge fair prices for their services and are transparent about costs. Ethical pricing really boils down to: 1) Can you earn enough to make your business sustainable from it? and 2) Can the people buying your course afford to do this without hardship, and recoup the cost of your course within about 6 months? 

    Ethical and accessible pricing is super important to me. So much so that I get told regularly that I don’t charge enough for what I offer. I love it when that happens because that’s actually one of my primary goals with everything I create — to give tons of value for the most affordable price possible. Caroline Leon (read Caroline’s article about this here)

    The Principles of Ethical/Conscious Businesses

    When we change the way we do business, we change the world. Caroline Leon

    A conscious business owner, according to Caroline Leon :

    • Operates with integrity and knows that how we sell matters.
    • Wants her business to be a force for good and knows that how we do business is a key part of that.
    • Puts the needs of the customer above the goal of making the sale and is willing to turn down a sale when it’s clear that what she is offering is not a good fit for the buyer.
    • Prioritises the cultivation of trust and connection between herself and her audience.
    • Rejects the use of manipulative marketing tactics to pressure her audience into buying.
    • Constantly seeks to ensure her products and services are of real value to her audience.
    • Makes positive impact the goal of everything she creates.
    • Is completely transparent when selling and uses no tricks or gimmicks to hide that fact. Instead simply presenting what’s on offer in a clear and honest way.
    • Works towards sustainability because she knows that an unsustainable business in the long term helps no-one.

    The 8 practises of authentic business by George Kao:

    1. Joyful Productivity: the ability to consistently work in a focused and joyful way. Balancing rest and action, with a spirit of playfulness throughout.
    2. Healthy Money Habits: It is important to become aware of our inner relationship to money (our thoughts and emotions) and our persistent behaviours with regards to money.
    3. Authentic Content: The habit of creating content will help you to keep exploring your core message and strengthening your authentic voice.
    4. Paid Content Distribution: If you’re not using paid ads of some kind, you are holding yourself back from reaching the thousands of people who need your message and voice.
    5. Collaborations: Seek out collaborations because it’s a good way to grow an aligned audience. Good collaborations create a lot more benefit than the effort takes
    6. Audience Research: When you have a product that is well-matched to someone’s wants, the thing almost sells itself. Neglect this and you may well be building the wrong audience.
    7. Rhythm of Gentle Launches: Start a routine of “making offers”, in other words, letting your audience know about your products and services.
    8. Mastery of Your Craft: The most grounded way to excel in one’s work is to notice the impact your work is making on your clients, and then make adjustments based on those observations.

    Affordable Wisdom: Ethical Business Coaches Who Won’t Break the Bank

    Check their website/social media channels and see if you resonate with their approach. All of them offer tons of free content, as well as low cost workshops/courses, which can help you to see if they are a fit without investing big amounts of time or money.

    Read my previous articles about what I learnt by working with George and Caroline below:

    Most entrepreneurs I know feel torn between either doing marketing that feels good (but doesn’t work) or marketing that works (but doesn’t feel good). I am suggesting that there’s a way to approach marketing that actually works better than the pushy and manipulative approaches you hate and that feels genuinely good to all involved. Tad Hargraves

    Conclusion

    The journey from overwhelm to authentic marketing isn’t always easy, but it’s infinitely more rewarding than falling prey to high-ticket, manipulative coaches. As conscious business owners, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our clients to seek out and support ethical marketing practices. 

    Remember, high pricing is never proof of higher value : it’s simply a marketing choice. There are brilliant, ethical marketing mentors out there who offer incredible value at accessible prices. They prioritise your growth over their profit, and they understand that true success comes from alignment with your values, not just your bank balance.

    I hope my story and insights help you navigate the sometimes murky waters of business coaching. Trust your intuition, seek out mentors who resonate with your values, and never compromise your integrity for the promise of quick success. 

    I believe that we can create a new paradigm of ethical, heart-centred marketing that serves both our businesses and our souls. After all, isn’t that why we started our holistic businesses in the first place?

    I’d love to hear how reading this article felt for you, simply comment below.

  • Drum Microdosing: The Simple 5-Minute Ritual That Can Change Your Life

    Drum Microdosing: The Simple 5-Minute Ritual That Can Change Your Life

    You may have heard of microdosing of plant medicine, a grassroot movement, driven by communities rather than corporations, where people take sub-perceptual amounts of a psychedelic plant or plant substance (for example psylocibin or LSD) without experiencing hallucinogenic effects. People who microdose report benefits such as improved mood, energy levels, cognition, creativity, and reduced depression and anxiety. Scientific research on microdosing is emerging, with some studies showing improvements in mood and mental health.

    I microdosed psylocibin for a couple of years to support my mental health during a time of struggle. It had very positive effects very quickly, when antidepressants had failed me. It allowed me to become aware of negative thought patterns I was not previously aware of, and modify them. I wrote about this in my article Dancing with chaos: my review of 2022.

    About a year ago, deep into the process of writing my book about women and drumming (the book will be published this year by Womancraft publishing), I started a practise of beginning my working day with 5 minutes of drumming. I simply set an intention, put a timer on my phone for 5 min and drummed.

    Within a couple of weeks, I noticed the exact same phenomenon of awareness and reframing of negative thought patterns I had noticed within 2 weeks after starting to microdose plant medicine. I noticed a negative, judgmental voice in my head, but this time there was an immediate reframing of the negative thought, which had not happened before. 

    One morning, whilst sitting down having breakfast, I started feeling grumpy because my husband had not expressed gratitude about the many things I had organised for him on his birthday the day before. In the past I would have verbalised this disappointment to him, and, as you can imagine, it would not have been received well. Nobody responds to criticism by being grateful. This time, as soon as the thought of unappreciation appeared, I heard a voice in my head saying “what’s really happening here is that you aren’t appreciating yourself”. The truth of this resonated so deeply that I sat there for quite some time digesting it. As I did this, I noticed that the tension and unpleasant feelings created by the negative thoughts had evaporated, as if by magic. Then, my husband appeared in the kitchen, and told me how much he appreciated all the things I had organised for him the day before.

    I wrote about this in my article Beating the ‘shroom : Drumming as a safer alternative to psychedelics. Here I’d like to go further and explain how transformative it can be.

    In the process of preparing for a talk about drumming and women’s wellbeing I gave at the  convention of women drummers and makers in Colchester, UK, I came up with the term drum microdosing, to describe this practice I had discovered.

     

    How drum microdosing works

    When you drum (or listen to drumming-but I find drumming myself more powerful), your brainwaves entrain to the sound waves created by the drum. It is a phenomenon known as auditory entrainment. Put simply, when you listen to the drum, the speed of your brainwaves align with the speed of the drumming. The type of drumming I use, known as shamanic drumming, at around 3 to 4 beats per seconds, results in brain waves slowing down. That slowing down is associated with meditative states. With the sound of the drum, I can enter this deeply aware yet relaxed state very quickly and effortlessly, contrary to when I try to sit still and meditate. Students of mine have reported the same effect, including people who, like me, find meditation difficult, and people who are skilled meditators, who report going much deeper into their meditative state when accompanied by the drum.

    For me, what clearly happens is that not only does it calm my brain and nervous system down from a stressed to a calm state, but it then also leads to an immediate loosening of my thought patterns, which results in creativity and solution finding. You know when you are looking for a word and cannot find it, and the more you scramble and try to find it, the more it eludes you, only to find that it often appears once you stop trying? That’s what the drum does for me. I liken it to having a massage, but inside my brain instead of my body.

    There is plenty of scientific evidence demonstrating this, so much in fact that the chapter on the science of drumming I wrote for my book was so big that the publisher asked me to subdivide it into two separate chapters!

    If you want to see a cool example of this, watch this video which shows the effect of shamanic drumming on brainwaves, by drummer and researcher Jeff Strong, who has been studying the effects of drumming on the brain and wellbeing since the 1990s.

     

    How to get started with drum microdosing

    There are two ways you could do it: either drum live if you have a drum (or get a drum), or listen to drumming tracks designed to change consciousness. I find the live drumming more powerful, I suspect it is something to do with the more active aspect of it, and the involvement of movement, rather than the passive listening.

    If you already have a drum, set an intention to drum for just 5 min each day. Set a timer on your phone for that time and drum.

    If you do not have a drum, the drums I use are frame drums (drums that are made of a wooden hoops with a natural or synthetic hide stretched over it, and played either with a beater or by hand). It works with any drums, but these are easiest to use technically.

    A really affordable frame drum option is the Remo Fiberskyn or Rennaissance frame drum. Anything from 12 to 16 inches diameter. They cost about £30 to £40. They do not come with a beater, but you can play by hand or make a beater by wrapping a couple of socks around a stick and securing them with string or an elastic band. Or you could look on Ebay or Facebook Marketplace for a second hand Irish Bodhran, some are available for about the same price. If you’d like to explore drum options more widely, I have written an article called How to choose and buy a shamanic drum.

    If you’d like to try the drumming tracks: there are plenty of shamanic drumming tracks on YouTube or Spotify, and the best resource by far is Jeff Strong’s Brain Stim Audio website, which has a wide range of tracks to change your brain state at will (free for 2 weeks without entering payment details, and around £9 a month if you decide to carry on using it after that).

    Regardless of how you do it, you’ll get a more powerful effect if you commit to doing this practice mindfully, with clear intention setting and conscious integration, very much like it is done with microdosing substances.

    How to drum mindfully:

    • Set an overarching intention for a cycle of about 4 for 6 weeks. What do you want to improve/feel better about? Perhaps emotional balance, creativity, clarity, or focus. Be specific. 
    • Choose a dedicated time each day for your drumming practice, for example the start or the end of the day. 
    • Before each session, take a moment to ground yourself, set an intention for this specific session, one that naturally flows from your overarching intention. Create sacred space in whatever way feels authentic to you (it could be as simple as lighting a candle, a stick of incense, or diffusing some essential oils). 
    • Keep a simple journal to track your experiences: note how you feel before and after drumming, any insights that arise, shifts in your energy or mood, and patterns you observe over time.  Like any medicine, drumming works best when approached with respect, consistency, and awareness. 
    • After each session, take a few minutes to integrate – sit quietly for a few minutes, or journal about your experience. This mindful container will allow the healing benefits of drumming to work more deeply in your system.

     

    Conclusion

    Drum microdosing offers an easy, powerful, accessible, and natural path towards better mental health, emotional balance, wellbeing, and personal transformation. Unlike plant microdosing, it’s legal, easily accessible, affordable, and has no physical side effects. 

    With a small consistent, mindful practice, the drum is a wonderful tool for consciousness, expansion and personal growth. Whether you’re seeking alternatives to Western mental health approaches, plant medicine, getting unstuck, wanting to explore new ways of working with your mind, drum microdosing provides a simple path forward. 

    If you would like to explore this further:

    One-to-One Drum-Assisted Mentoring : personalised guidance combining drumming with transformational mentoring. These sessions offer a sacred space for deep insight and personal breakthrough, tailored to your unique journey.

    Group Drum Microdosing Circle starting on the 23rd of July.  Join an intimate circle of women exploring this transformative practice together. Meeting weekly on Zoom over 3 weeks, we’ll develop our practice, share experiences, and support each other’s growth. The course will provide structure, accountability, and a sacred container for your journey into drum medicine.  message me if you have any questions.

    My new book, The Beat of your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is available to preorder from Womancraft publishing

     

  • Rhythm as Medicine: The Transformative Power of Daily Drumming

    Rhythm as Medicine: The Transformative Power of Daily Drumming

    You may have heard about various approaches to mental health – from talking therapy to medication to meditation. But there’s a powerful, ancient practice that’s gaining recognition in modern science: drumming. Research shows that drumming can profoundly impact our mental health, emotional wellbeing, and sense of connection to others.

    I discovered the therapeutic power of drumming through my own experimenting with drumming. What started as an experimental approach revealed itself as a transformative tool for healing. When I started including drumming in my healing and mentoring work , within just a few sessions, I observed changes in people that sometimes months of therapy hadn’t achieved.

    The Science Behind Rhythm

    When you drum (alone or  in a drum circle), something remarkable happens in your brain and body. Studies have shown that just 20 minutes of group drumming can significantly lower stress and anxiety levels. The rhythmic percussion creates a form of brain entrainment –  our brainwaves literally sync with the drum’s rhythm, leading to deeper states of relaxation and awareness. This synchronisation helps rewire neural pathways, enhancing neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to form new connections and adapt. It is literally changing your brain.

    But it goes beyond just relaxation. Research has demonstrated that drumming can:

    • Reduce depression and anxiety
    • Improve overall mental wellbeing
    • Boost self-esteem and motivation
    • Help in addiction recovery
    • Create deeper social connections

    What’s particularly fascinating is how drumming helps people process emotions that are difficult to express in words. Many participants report being able to “drum out” their anger, sadness, or frustration in a safe, contained way. It’s as if the drum becomes an extension of their emotional voice.

    I collected most of the evidence and wrote it for my upcoming book about drumming and women (to be published in September 2025). There is so much research about the positive effects of drumming on the mind and body, that I had to write not one but two whole chapters about it.

    If you want to read a paper that explains the effects on mental health really well, read Drumming Through a Polyvagal Lens by Simon Faulkner.

    The Power of Community Rhythm

    While individual drumming is powerful, group drumming adds another dimension entirely. Studies have shown that when people drum together, it activates parts of the brain associated with empathy and understanding others’ emotions. This explains why after a group drumming session, participants often report feeling more connected and understanding of each other, even if they started as strangers.

    In one particularly moving study, researchers found that people drumming in pairs had higher activation in the right temporoparietal junction – a brain region crucial for empathy and social connection – compared to when they were just talking to each other.

    This breakthrough has become permanent for me – when I feel overwhelmed, weak or numb, especially in therapy, I take off my socks, connect to the ground and stand up, remembering the feeling of rising power. My therapist says there has been a huge change in me within the few short months that I have been drumming, which I feel too: more unity within myself, a sense of my own power, a sense of belonging with others and more capacity for joy. Anna, describing what the sense of rising power she experienced after her first drum circle session.

    How to Start Your Drumming Journey

    You don’t need any musical experience to benefit from drumming. Here’s how you can begin:

    1. Join a Drum Circle: Many communities have regular drum circles that welcome beginners. These provide a supportive environment to learn and experience group drumming.
    2. Individual Practice: Even a simple frame drum and 5 minutes a day can create positive changes surprisingly quickly. Start with simple, heartbeat-like rhythms and let your intuition guide you.
    3. Therapeutic Drumming: Look for facilitators who offer drumming for mental health and wellbeing.

     

    Creating a Small, Regular Practice, ie Drum Microdosing

    What it can be used for:

    • Mental health/wellbeing
    • Anxiety
    • Overwhelm
    • Regulate your nervous system
    • Feeling stuck
    • Overcome procrastination
    • Navigating change/challenging time
    • Increase your creativity
    • Increase your ability to focus

    And much more

    To make the most of your drumming practice:

    • Set aside dedicated time in a quiet space
    • Begin with an overarching intention for a course of 4 to 6 weeks, and one for each daily session
    • Allow yourself to express whatever emotions arise
    • Stay present with the rhythm and your body’s response
    • End with a moment of reflection, either silently, or in writing

     

    Beyond Traditional Therapy

    What makes drumming particularly valuable in mental health is its holistic nature. Unlike traditional talking therapy, drumming engages the body, mind, and spirit simultaneously. It bypasses the analytical mind and speaks directly to our emotional and physical selves.

    As one participant in a drumming program shared: One of my key struggles has been a lack of self-belief, doubts about my worthiness and the value of my being. The drumming practice helps me break through self-limiting ideas, uncover challenges and find the courage to express myself more freely. Philippe.

    Conclusion

    In our increasingly disconnected and mentally challenging world, drumming offers a path back to ourselves and each other. It’s not just about making music – it’s about creating a space for healing, connection, and transformation. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, feeling stuck, or simply seeking a deeper sense of wellbeing, drumming might be the medicine you never knew you needed.

    If you’d like to explore drumming for mental health:

    T simplest practice can create the most profound change. Your healing journey begins with that first beat.

  • Beat Procrastination with the Drum: How Rhythm Can Help You Take Action

    Beat Procrastination with the Drum: How Rhythm Can Help You Take Action

    If I show you a frame drum and tell you it can help with procrastination, does it make you roll your eyes? Does it trigger thoughts like, “What’s this hippy nonsense?” And yet, you might be surprised to learn that drumming has a solid scientific foundation. Years of research show how rhythmic drumming can influence your consciousness and nervous system, helping you shift out of procrastination and into flow.

    What is procrastination?

    Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks, decisions, or actions, even when you know it could lead to negative consequences. It often involves choosing short-term comfort or avoidance over the effort, discipline, or focus needed to complete a task—despite the long-term benefits of getting it done.

    Why do we procrastinate?

    Procrastination isn’t just about poor time management—it’s a self-regulation challenge. We procrastinate to avoid uncomfortable feelings such as:

    • Fear of failure, judgment, or being seen
    • Perfectionism
    • Difficulty managing emotions

    At its core, procrastination stems from a dysregulated nervous system. When we’re overwhelmed or afraid, our brains seek comfort and safety, making it harder to focus or take action.

    How drumming can help

    This is where the drum becomes an unlikely yet powerful ally. Through a process called auditory entrainment, drumming can shift your state of consciousness and soothe your nervous system.

    Shamanic drumming, which typically maintains a rhythm of around 4 beats per second, is especially effective. This rhythm slows your brain waves, moving you into a relaxed, semi-meditative state. In this state:

    • Your nervous system calms down.
    • Fear and constriction ease, allowing for more open and creative thinking.
    • You can look at problems differently, with a “relaxed” brain that makes moving forward feel easier and less overwhelming.

    How to use drumming to overcome procrastination

    If you have a drum:
    Set a timer and drum intuitively for just five minutes. This is usually enough to release mental tension and get you unstuck.

    If you don’t have a drum:
    You can achieve the same thing by drumming on a book, on a table or on your body. Percussion causes the brain changes, so it does not matter what you use.

    Listen to drumming
    There are plenty of free shamanic drumming tracks available on platforms like YouTube and Spotify. You can do this with drumming in the background whilst you do something else, and you do not even need headphones.

    For a more targeted approach:
    Check out Brain Stim Audio by ADHD drummer Jeff Strong. He has developed specific focus tracks designed to overcome procrastination using the same principles of auditory entrainment. You can try Brain Stim Audio free for two weeks without providing payment details, and Jeff also shares some rhythm samples on YouTube. From personal experience, I can vouch for their effectiveness!

    Want to dive deeper?

    If you’d like to explore this further, I recently hosted a low cost workshop (£25) called Beat Procrastination with the Drum which is available as a recording.

    In this 90-minute session, you’ll learn:

    • The science behind procrastination and how it affects the brain and body.
    • Practical ways to use drumming to move from stuck to flow.
    • Guided drum exercises to help you shift your mindset.

    No drum is needed—I provide live drumming during the session, along with tips and resources you can use afterward.

    Join me and discover how the power of rhythm can help you soothe your nervous system and overcome procrastination.

  • The Wisdom of Winter: Embracing Natural Rhythms in a ‘Always-On’ World

    The Wisdom of Winter: Embracing Natural Rhythms in a ‘Always-On’ World

    In early January, I felt a familiar disconnect: while my body craved hibernation, the world buzzed with “new year, new you” messaging. This jarring contrast led me to reflect on our relationship with rest, productivity, and natural cycles – both as a scientist and as someone learning to honour my body’s wisdom, and also to offer a workshop using the drum to manage this.

     

    The Biology behind winter rest

    First let me make something clear: making resolutions in early January makes no sense on an energetic and biological level. We’re in midwinter. It is still dark and cold. We are meant to rest at this time. 

    It’s a fact, biologically. I did my PhD and 2 postdocs on chronobiology. Evidence shows that when nights are longer we have less energy. In fact as a species we used to work a lot harder during the time of the year when nights were short, but the advent of mass schooling (and people needing the kids back to help during the harvest) led to what we have now: holidays at a time (summer) when we need the least rest.

     

    What Celtic Wisdom Teaches Us About Seasons

    It is also a fact in nature. Just look around, nature is still mostly hibernating, even though tiny signs of Spring can already be visible. I celebrate the festivals of the celtic wheel of the year, and it would make much more sense to wait to plan goals/do resolutions etc starting from Imbolc (end of January/early February), when the energy of Spring is starting to rise.

    Despite taking a really long break over Christmas, the first week when we were supposed to be back at work, I noticed that I was still very sluggish. Getting back to work after holidays is something I’ve learnt that I need to do progressively, and I did, but this was next level. I just wanted to hibernate. I did very little work that week, I just couldn’t get going.

    I noticed something really interesting happening. Whilst I’ve always known in my head that winter is for rest, I still struggled with some level of guilt about not being productive that week. This I expect is due to my upbringing, and belonging to a culture that sees “being productive” all the time as a sign of worth, and resting as a sign of laziness.

    Nature likes balance. What comes up must go down. The cycle of growth and decay is very clearly evidence in nature. Trees don’t bear flowers or fruits all year round. But still, it is hard when the “productivity” belief has been so ingrained in us since childhood. This also makes it hard to know when we truly need to rest or we are simply experiencing a disconnect, a resistance between our inner state and what we think we ought to be “doing”.

    That first week of January, my body simply would not let me work. So I leaned into that, and lo and behold, the following week my energy was back to a much more functional level. And projects started to pull me forward once more: this week I received the mock up of both the French translation of my first book (Why postnatal recovery matters), and of my new book about women and drumming, on the same day!

     

    When Productivity Becomes Unsustainable: My ADHD Medication Journey

    In my case, it is probably not surprising that I needed some extra rest. In July 2024 I started taking ADHD stimulant medication (Elvanse/Lisdexamfetamine). Whilst part of me loved the hyper productive experience the medication gave me (and it sure was fantastic in helping me finish my book in time), by September, I started noticing that I was working at a level that wasn’t natural or sustainable. I was working at a constant level. There were no “down days”  , something that used to be normal for me. I not only finished the book about drumming, and did all the edits and corrections, but I also finished correcting the French translation of my first book, and also did all the work to launch my first group program.

    In September I experienced constant bleeding, which led me to stop taking HRT after 18 months (when I look back, this was probably also related to overworking). By November I was also experiencing severe gut symptoms. When I meditated with my gut, the answer came loud and clear: you need to slow down. I did not really want to but the symptoms were severe enough for me not to be able to ignore them. It was as if my gut was literally screaming at me. 

    After researching the subject and finding evidence that there is a link between the meds I was taking and the symptoms I was experiencing, I decided to stop taking the ADHD meds, and did so at the end of November.  I also took healing herbs and saw a homeopath, but listening to my body’s cry for rest really felt key. I was prescribed typical Western medicine, drugs that I knew would not heal, but just put a temporary lid on my symptoms, and also stop me from listening to my body’s needs.

    So I slowed right down, winding my work from early December onwards, and stopping completely by mid December, and really not properly resuming a sense of readiness to work until mid January. When I look back, having spent 5 months working at an abnormally high pace, it’s not surprising that I would need a much longer break than normal to recover.

     

    Learning to Listen: The Different Faces of Rest

    Now that I’m meds free, I’m back to having my normal ebb and flow, with the ups days and the down days. I’m working at trusting the wisdom of that. I know that, in typical ADHD fashion, when I get up on days I often accomplish several days of work in a few hours. And I need to trust and lean into the down days (I call them “fuck-it” days-and usually give up on trying to work and do something nourishing instead).

    However, I also experience procrastination that is not down to having an energetic down day. It’s more that there is something blocking me underneath. A sense of stagnancy, of stuckness. 

    I feel it’s really important to be able to distinguish between the two: is this really my body trying to tell me to rest, or am I running away from something uncomfortable? The two feel completely different. The key is to lean into the embodied experience.

     

    Finding Flow Through Rhythm: How Drumming Breaks Stagnation

    When I am procrastinating, the one thing that seems to help me faster than any other tools I’ve tried is my drum. Whenever I’m experiencing resistance or feeling stuck, I put a timer on for 5 min and play my drum. It’s amazing how quickly it shifts me from stuck more into movement and ideas. I also often listen to some drumming tracks designed to modify my consciousness/state of mind whilst working/getting started.

     

    Conclusion

    As we navigate the pressure to maintain constant productivity, perhaps the greatest wisdom lies in trusting our natural rhythms. Whether it’s honouring winter’s call for rest or using tools like drumming to move through genuine blocks, the key is learning to distinguish between our body’s true needs and conditioned resistance. This journey has taught me that productivity isn’t about maintaining constant output, but about flowing with our natural cycles.

    I am aware that many of us are experiencing similar issues to the ones I describe above at this moment in time and feeling difficulties in getting going. I’d love to hear what your experience has been.

    To support this, I’ve decided to offer a workshop called Beat procrastination with the drum, on the 29th of January.

     

  • From Guidance to Power: My Journey Through 2024

    From Guidance to Power: My Journey Through 2024

    If you’ve been following my blog since 2017, you’ll know I love doing these year-end reviews – they’re like a public reflective diary, helping me process and share my journey. For about five years now, I’ve also chosen a word for the upcoming year, using an intuitive process that helps me connect with what support I need and how I want to feel. (I’ll share a guided drum journey below so you can find yours too!)

    My word for 2024 was “Guidance” – and boy did the universe deliver! They say be careful what you wish for, and this year brought guidance in ways I never expected, consuming most of my energy and focus throughout the entire year.

    Building a support system: My access to work journey

    One of the biggest changes this year came through successfully applying for an Access to Work grant. Since ADHD is classified as a disability in the UK, I was eligible – but this journey wasn’t one I could navigate alone. For someone with ADHD, where admin and paperwork are my nemesis, the process felt particularly challenging, especially since government systems seem designed to be hardest for those they’re meant to help.

    I was fortunate to have amazing support: my neurodivergent coach Kanan helped draft the initial application and body-doubled with me for the submission. Then came the team at This is Me agency. They were instrumental in helping me map out my support worker needs, advocating during DWP calls (which significantly reduced my anxiety), and tackling the mountain of paperwork – including gathering 24 different quotes from potential support workers!

    The grant approval was both exciting and overwhelming. I received funding for 14 hours of weekly support worker time, ADHD coaching sessions, and equipment like noise-cancelling headphones and a Remarkable tablet. But then came the challenge: how to recruit and manage all these people? Classic ADHD paralysis hit me hard, and it took weeks to actually implement the support. Looking back, I wish I’d reached out to the agency about feeling overwhelmed and prioritised finding the right VA first to help coordinate everything/everyone else. 

    Building my support team

    My first hire was a professional declutterer, who visits weekly. Working with her has been revelatory – finally helping me understand why I could never tackle the chaos alone (and helping me kick out both the shame and the delusion around not being able do it alone). She doesn’t just help organise; she measures spaces and tells exactly what storage solutions to use to prevent clutter from returning. A year on, my desk no longer holds its infamous “pile of doom,” and for the first time in years, I’m not frantically clearing space before my family visits for the holidays. The fact that we’re only halfway through the process after a year shows just how much support I needed.

    Finding Rosslyn, my VA who specialises in supporting people with ADHD, was another game-changer. Instead of overwhelming me with procedure documents and systems, she worked with me gradually to build processes that actually work for my brain. She’s helped identify other crucial support needs, like a website manager and bookkeeper, making my business more streamlined and automated. I was lucky to have had my grant renewed for the coming year too (albeit at a lower rate), which means that I’ll be able to complete the many projects I started.

    Professional evolution: learning, growing, teaching

    • The Business Side

    Working with conscious marketing mentors has been a key part of my journey since 2021. I’ve found that being held in a container of like-minded, heart-based entrepreneurs helps keep me accountable. After three enriching years with George Kao, I sought someone who better matched my needs: Europe-based (for more compatible time zones – I’m a morning person), a woman balancing motherhood with business, and offering affordable mentoring with the same conscious/authentic values. Through George’s community, I found Caroline Leon, whose smaller group size and understanding of work-life balance was exactly what I needed.

    Under Caroline’s guidance, I created my first proper business plan in over 11 years of self-employment. While I set some overly ambitious financial goals without accounting for the time needed for Access to Work implementation and personal development, I see this not as a failure but as valuable learning.

    Looking at what I did accomplish this year:

    • Teaching: 6 in-person courses spanning intuitive drumming, closing the bones, postnatal recovery massage, and rebozo techniques for NHS midwives
    • Community work: I led 13 drum circles and co-facilitated 8 wheel of the year ceremonies
    • One-to-one support: I did 16 closing the bones massages/healing sessions and about as many mentoring sessions.
    • Online courses: I welcomed 142 new students to my courses and ran 3 online masterclasses 
    • Workshop: I ran a new online one about overcoming impostor syndrome.
    • Plant medicine: I ran an evening of connection with the spirit of Mugwort
    • Content creation: I wrote and published 32 blog posts, sent 20 newsletters, shared over 180 social media posts, and recorded 6 podcast interview

     

    • Major milestones

    The highlight of my year was completing my book about drumming as a tool for women’s empowerment – twice the size of my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters. True to my ADHD style, I wrote most of it in an intense six-week sprint before the publisher’s deadline! The book will be published by Womancraft in September 2025, with US distribution through Red Wheel.

    I also finalised the French translation of Why Postnatal Recovery Matters (Mères nouvelles, traditions ancestrales, restaurer les rituels de soin du postpartum), due for release in January.

    • Breaking new ground

    This year saw me stepping into new and bigger spaces, delivering drumming demonstrations at two midwifery conferences and speaking about women’s life transitions at the convention of women drummers. I taught my first intuitive drumming course, incorporating rites of passage work around menarche and motherhood – a profound and powerful experience.

    • Beautiful “failures” and their gifts

    My attempt to launch a group program for creating calm and overcoming overwhelm didn’t attract participants despite thorough preparation: market research interviews, content creation, and technical setup. Yet instead of disappointment, I felt relief. This “failure” revealed that I was meant to offer something deeper – focusing on helping sensitive, holistic, heart-centered women reclaim their power in more profound ways.

    Personal growth and healing: a journey to wholeness

    • Finding deep support

    After supporting my child through mental health challenges and experiencing my own struggles, I knew I needed something different from traditional support systems. The NHS counselling I received in Autumn 2023 provided zero relief, leading me to seek alternatives that aligned with my holistic understanding of healing.

    My experience with the NHS’s approach to mental health – both for my child and myself – highlighted a fundamental flaw in modern healthcare. As Josh Schrei beautifully puts it in his podcast The Emerald, “if a plant was sick we wouldn’t say it has ‘wilting syndrome’, we would ask if it’s getting enough food, water, sunshine.”

    Another quote that really exemplifies the narrow, mechanistic view of the modern mental health approach, which ignores our need for community, belonging, and connection, is this one (from an article about Western talking therapists who were sent to support people in Rwanda after the genocide).  

    “Their practice did not involve being outside in the sun where you begin to feel better. There was no music or drumming to get your blood flowing again. There was no sense that everyone had taken the day off so that the entire community could come together to try to lift you up and bring you back to joy. Instead, they would take people one at a time into these dingy little rooms and have them sit around for an hour or so and talk about bad things that had happened to them. We had to ask them to leave” 

    I found my answer in a therapist who bridges psychotherapy and shamanic practice. His two-hour sessions (so much more effective than the standard 50-minute format) provided more healing in a few weeks than months of conventional therapy. By May, I was experiencing a level of peace and spaciousness I hadn’t felt in years – a feeling that continues to deepen.

    The medication journey

    This year brought interesting experiments with different forms of support. As I wrote my book, I discovered the power of “microdosing drumming” – just 5 minutes daily – which created similar positive thought pattern changes to my previous experiences with microdosing mushrooms. This practice, along with pre-recorded therapeutic drum tracks, became crucial tools in my wellbeing toolkit.

    • The HRT chapter

     My journey with HRT, which began in 2023 to soothe my nervous system, took an unexpected turn. I started experiencing concerning side effects that echoed my previous experiences with hormonal contraception in the past. After being fast-tracked to the cancer clinic due to constant bleeding, I made the conscious choice to stop.

    Whilst HRT supported my nervous system back towards balance at a time of desperation, feels like it somehow paused my menopause process. However, now that I’ve stopped, I feel like I wasn’t my true self during the 18 months I took it. It feels a bit like an epidural during labour: yes you no longer feel the pain, but you can also no longer feel the power.

    Stopping HRT led to increased energy and a stronger connection to my power. As Jane Hardwicke Collings explains, oestrogen is the “hormone of accommodation” – it can make us more pleasant and accommodating but might also dampen our true power. Without it, I’ve rediscovered my authentic voice and strength.

    • The ADHD medication experience

    My experience with ADHD medication was equally enlightening. While the medicine I was prescribed, Elvanse, helped tremendously with focus and motivation, particularly in finishing my book, I could sense that I wasn’t being entirely myself, and something told me that the increased productivity wasn’t sustainable long-term. When serious digestive issues arose, and I meditated on it, my body’s message was clear: “slow down.”

    Listening to this wisdom, I chose to stop the medication after 5 months, and embrace a slower pace, particularly during the winter months when nature itself calls for rest. This decision feels deeply aligned with my body’s needs and the natural rhythms of nature.

    Embracing winter’s wisdom and looking forward

    • Winter solstice reflections 

    Last week, co-creating our winter solstice ceremony with friends brought a profound realisation: for the first time, I’m not just enduring the dark season but discovering its beauty. I can appreciate the starkness of winter while quietly celebrating that the light will soon return. Our ceremony will honour both the necessary stillness of darkness and the promise of returning light – a perfect metaphor for my own journey this year.

    • The power of slowing down

    My decision to work quietly through December and take an extended break (December 19th to January 6th) feels aligned with winter’s energy. This slower pace, matching the season when nature herself rests, brings a deep sense of rightness. It’s a conscious choice to honour natural rhythms rather than pushing against them.

    Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximising scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible. Katherine May, from the book Wintering

    Vision for 2025

    • Stepping into power

     Having recorded a drum journey for reviewing 2024 and connecting with 2025’s energy (which I’m sharing with you below), I feel a clear shift emerging. 2025 calls me to fully step into my power as a menopausal woman and mentor. This power has been rising steadily since stopping HRT, and it feels like perfect timing with my new book about drumming and women’s wisdom being published next year.

    I feel called to support other women in accessing their own power and wisdom, contributing to raising humanity’s consciousness. We can no longer thrive while disconnected from nature, community, and what makes our hearts sing. There’s an urgent need to create new frameworks beyond our current constraints.

    My 2024 word was Guidance, and it served its purpose beautifully, bringing me exactly the support and direction I needed. For 2025, my word is Power. It’s about embracing my authentic strength and using it to support others to do the same and create positive change in the world.

    Closing invitation

    As we stand at this threshold between years, I invite you to join me in this reflective practice. Below you’ll find the recorded drum journey to help you review 2024 and connect with the energy of 2025. Now isn’t the time for rational goal-setting, but rather for dreaming and listening to your inner wisdom. Whether you’re seeking to reflect on the past year, find a word for the coming year or simply wanting to connect more deeply with your own truth, the drum is here to guide you.

    Remember, this turning of the year is not about forcing change or setting rigid resolutions. It’s about listening deeply, honouring your journey, and allowing your authentic power to emerge naturally – just as nature knows exactly when to rest and when to bloom.

     

    Play

     

    #YearInReview #PersonalGrowth #WomensEmpowerment #ADHD #Perimenopause #DrummingForHealing #HolisticHealth #BusinessGrowth #ShamanicDrumming #WinterSolstice #AuthenticLeadership #ConsciousBusiness #WomensWisdom #MenopausePower #SacredBusiness

  • Overcoming Overwhelm: The Story Behind The Calm Within Community

    Overcoming Overwhelm: The Story Behind The Calm Within Community

    As holistic professionals, many of us are familiar with the feeling of being overwhelmed. We often take on the emotional weight of others – our clients, our families, our communities – while neglecting our own needs. We wear multiple hats, juggle countless tasks, and still, the to-do list seems to grow faster than we can check things off.

    I know this feeling intimately. In fact, my personal journey through overwhelm is what inspired me to create The Calm Within Community.

    My Story: From Overwhelm to Inner Peace

    For years, I struggled with a constant undercurrent of stress. As a doula, educator, healer and nurturing women mentor, I was deeply committed to supporting others during life’s biggest transitions. But somewhere along the way, I found myself burnt out and disconnected from my own needs. The very practices I taught my clients about self-care and balance were ones I struggled to implement myself.

    I would wake up already feeling behind, as though the weight of my responsibilities was crushing me. I had constant anxiety, especially at night when I would wake up worrying about all the things I had to do. My mind raced from task to task, and I often felt like I was drowning in an endless sea of demands. I also navigated perimenopause and did not yet know I had ADHD. The shame of not being able to keep up with everything made it even harder to ask for help. I kept wondering why I could be self disciplined and procrastinate so much.

    I knew I couldn’t continue like this, so I began seeking answers. I dove into ancient spiritual wisdom and modern neuroscience, looking for tools that would support me in navigating stress without adding more pressure. Slowly, I learned to blend these practices into my life in a way that felt sustainable, manageable, and, most importantly, healing.

    Through nervous system regulation, connecting with nature, prioritising self-care, and finding support from a like-minded community, I began to shift from overwhelm to a deep sense of inner calm.

    Why I Created The Calm Within Community

    As I began to reclaim my peace, I realised something important: If I was struggling with overwhelm despite my knowledge and experience, other women in holistic professions – the ones who are constantly giving and nurturing – must be facing the same challenges.

    I ran a series of interviews of many overwhelmed women. Our conversations highlighted the real challenges women face and the deep desire for sustainable peace and spaciousness in life, showing how deeply women yearn for both spiritual connection and practical solutions that work with their current energy levels and time constraints. 

    We Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

    Another theme that also clearly emerged was that these women were feeling lonely, and did not have a community they really belonged to. Despite being surrounded by people we care for, many of us lack true community – a circle of sisters who deeply understand our journey.

     The stories highlighted the need for a program that combined holistic practices with neuroscience-informed strategies, while providing an accessible community for women who are seeking genuine connection with others who understand their journey.

    That’s why I created The Calm Within Community: A sanctuary for women like you who are ready to release the overwhelm and find sustainable peace. This six-month program is designed to help you reclaim your inner calm by providing a nurturing space where you can truly heal.

    The Calm Within Community: A Place of Healing and Transformation

    This program isn’t about quick fixes or productivity hacks. It’s about developing tools that work for you – tools that can be integrated into your life and used for years to come. We combine ancient wisdom with modern neuroscience to create practices that not only soothe your nervous system but also promote lasting change in how you approach life.

    Over six months, we’ll focus on four key pillars:

    1. Self-care prioritisation: Learning how to take care of yourself, not just your clients or your family, without feeling guilty.
    2. Re-regulation of the nervous system: Techniques to soothe the mind and body, bringing you back to a state of balance.
    3. Immersion in nature: Connecting to the natural world to ground and restore your energy.
    4. Community: Building a supportive network of like-minded women who understand and support your journey.

    Through weekly live calls, a private Facebook group, and ongoing workshops, you’ll not only learn how to calm your nervous system but also connect with a community that truly gets it. We’re creating a space where you can breathe, be, and grow – at your own pace.

    Supporting Women to Support the World

    When women in nurturing professions find their calm, they transform every life they touch. We hold space for humanity’s most profound moments – whether that’s supporting a client through the birth journey, through a tough time or guiding a family through a life transition.

    You surely have heard the saying that you cannot serve from an empty cup. We cannot model sustainable care if we’re overwhelmed, burnt out, or disconnected from our own well-being. By helping women like you step out of overwhelm and into peace, we’re creating a ripple effect of sustainable care that will touch families, communities, and even generations to come.

    This community is for women who are ready to explore a gentler, more conscious way of being. If you feel a deep yearning for change, if you’re tired of the “do more” mentality, then this might be exactly what you need.

    Are You Ready to Join Us?

    If this resonates with you, I invite you to apply for The Calm Within Community. We begin on November 26th, and there are limited spots available to ensure we keep this circle intimate and supportive.

    If you’re ready to take the next step, or if you have questions, please don’t hesitate to comment under this post or reach out directly. I’d love to hear from you.

    Together, we can build a future where women lead from a place of peace, balance, and sustainable care. I can’t wait to share this transformative journey with you.

     

  • Finding Calm Within When Everything Feels Too Much: A Story of Hope and Transformation

    Finding Calm Within When Everything Feels Too Much: A Story of Hope and Transformation

    Two years ago, my overwhelm was at its peak. The combination of mothering an autistic teen struggling with severe anxiety perimenopause and undiagnosed ADHD was a killer. The nights were worse. I’d jolt awake at 3am, my mind instantly spinning into an endless loop of anxiety about all the things I wasn’t doing.

     

    In those dark hours, everything felt impossible. The list would spiral: work stuff I needed to do, emails I hadn’t answered, family needs I wasn’t meeting, paperwork deadlines, self-care I was neglecting. Each thought would feed the next, creating an exhausting cycle that left me lying there, heart racing, unable to get back to sleep.

     

    In the morning, overwhelm would crash over me within 5 minutes of getting up. I was so dysregulated, I could not organise tasks in my head, I’d start one then the other, not finishing any, and get more and more stressed. The weight of responsibilities – running my business, being present for my family – felt crushing. Even as someone who taught others about wellbeing, I struggled to find peace in my own life.

     

    The shift began when I realised I needed to fundamentally change my relationship with time and space, and learn to recreate calm within my nervous system. Instead of pushing harder, I started creating intentional pauses in my day. I learned to listen to my body, to notice when I was dysregulated, and do small things to bring peace back. Most importantly, I began putting my own wellbeing first – no longer treating self-care as a reward for getting everything else done.

     

    Most importantly, I started unlayering the weight of society’s expectations on myself, the false belief that my productivity was my worth. I started challenging the voice inside my head that berated me to work harder.

     

    Nature became my sanctuary. Whether wild swimming in cold rivers or simply walking in nature, I discovered that spending time outdoors helped regulate my nervous system in ways no amount of ‘productivity hacks’ ever could.

     

    Finding a supportive community of women who understood this journey was crucial. Together, we created spaces to share about our struggles and celebrate the good things in our lives. These connections reminded me I wasn’t alone and showed me different ways of being.

     

    I experimented with a lot of things, some that worked (microdosing, drumming, a temporary use of HRT, and working with a therapist who is also a shaman) and some that did not (lots of quick fix tools that made things worse, antidepressants, talking therapy). I unlayered so much, including fundamental beliefs about myself. In the end I came to realise that the only way to provide lasting change is to get to the root of the cause of overwhelm, which is complex and multifaceted.

     

    Now, my nights, mornings and days feel completely different. Yes, there’s still plenty to do, but the new spaciousness I’ve created inside myself means that, even in the midst of a full life, I no longer feel overwhelmed. Those 3am anxiety spirals have gone, and I have many tools that actually work to calm my nervous system.

     

    I want to share about my journey and what I’ve learnt along the way. I want to help other women take steps towards bringing more spaciousness and calm into their lives. I want to do this because, if we are going to create a better world, we simply cannot do it alone, nor from a place of dysregulation. Dysregulation keeps us in a state of firefighting, one from which we cannot access our own wisdom nor affect change.

     

    I am launching a 6 month group program for overwhelmed women called The Calm Within Community, and I am going to be sharing the essence of this in a free masterclass this week.

     

    If this resonates with you, join me for my free masterclass, Overwhelm to Calm, on Wednesday the 6th of November at 8pm London time. I’ll share what I’ve learned about moving from overwhelm to calm, blending neuroscience with ancient wisdom to find a gentler way of being.

     

    Because to change the world, you need to feel peace, not just teach it to others. 

  • Forbidden trance: why medicine hijacks altered consciousness during birth

    Forbidden trance: why medicine hijacks altered consciousness during birth

    Imagine a woman in labour, her eyes closed, swaying rhythmically to an internal beat. The room is dim, quiet, save for her deep, primal moans. Suddenly, she says: “I can see my baby. She’s coming down” This isn’t a scene from a mystical novel. This is Sarah, a first-time mother, experiencing what scientists are now calling the “birth trance” – a profound altered state of consciousness that modern medicine has been suppressing for decades.

    In hospitals across the world, 80% of labouring women are subjected to interventions that disrupt this natural altered state. But what if I told you that this suppressed “birth trance” holds the key not only to easier, more empowering births, but to unlocking the untapped potential of the human mind?

    As a former biologist turned birth & life transitions guide, I’ve witnessed first hand the transformative power of this altered state. I’ve seen women transcend pain, communicate with their unborn children, and tap into strength they never knew they had. And now, cutting-edge research is finally catching up to what midwives and doulas have known for millennia.

    Welcome to the forbidden world of birth consciousness – a realm where science meets spirituality, and where the act of bringing life into the world can quite literally alter the fabric of reality. What you’re about to read will forever change the way you think about the human capacity for transcendence. 

    Introduction

    When you hear “altered states of consciousness,” what pops into your mind? Psychedelic trips, mushrooms, ayahuasca? But what if I told you we’re all walking pharmacies, carrying within us the very tools – birth hormones – to alter our consciousness without any external substances? What if I told you that birth is one of the most powerful times when these hormones work together to facilitate one of the deepest shifts in consciousness during a woman’s life?

    I’ve just finished writing a book about drumming as a catalyst for women’s growth. One chapter delves into how drumming stacks up against psychedelics in inducing trance-like states. Spoiler alert: drumming is not only safer and easier, but it’s every bit as powerful. 

    When I first introduced drumming as a birth support tool, it was pure intuition that guided me. But as I dove into writing, interviewing women I’d drummed for during birth, and poring over research on how drumming shifts our consciousness, a startling reality emerged: birth itself IS an altered state of consciousness. Modern maternity care actively disrupts this natural high, because it’s impossible to control women in this state. 

    Birth as a naturally altered state

    During labour and birth, a cocktail of hormones floods the mother’s brain and body, particularly oxytocin, endorphins, and prolactin. These neurochemicals not only facilitate the physical process of birth but also induce a dreamlike state of mind. Many women report feeling disconnected from their usual thought patterns, experiencing time distortion, and accessing a deep, primal, instinctual part of themselves. 

    Anybody who has supported births knows when this happens, because the woman stops engaging in conversation and goes inwards. This usually happens when labour becomes established.

    This shift in consciousness serves a biological purpose, allowing the birthing woman to focus intensely on the task at hand. It is described as “labourland” or being “in the birth zone.” The altered state contributes to pain management, as endorphins act as natural painkillers, as well as changing the perception of time and space. This heightened state of awareness can also lead to spiritual or transcendent experiences, with some women describing a sense of connection to a greater power or to generations of birthing women before them. 

    Understanding birth as an altered state emphasises the importance of creating a supportive, undisturbed environment that allows this natural process to unfold, leading to more positive birth experiences and outcomes.

    The physiology of birth-induced altered consciousness

    Hormonal changes during labour and birth

    When a woman goes into labour, her body is a living, breathing symphony of hormones. As the first contractions begin, oxytocin takes centre stage. Also known as the love hormone, it’s the conductor of this miraculous orchestra. It sends powerful waves through her uterus, gently but persistently encouraging her baby to begin its journey. But oxytocin isn’t just about physical labour – it’s weaving a web of love and connection, preparing the mother’s heart to fall in love with her baby.

    As the labour intensity builds, endorphins build up. These natural pain-relievers sweep through the mother’s body like a soothing tide. They don’t just dull the pain; they bring with them a sense of euphoria, a feeling of “I can do this!” It’s these endorphins that help guide the mother into the famous “labourland” – a state of altered consciousness where time seems to bend and the outside world fades away.

    As labour progresses, a new player enters – catecholamines, the stress hormones. Early in labour, they’re like cautious gatekeepers. If the mother feels threatened or unsafe, these hormones pump the brakes on labour. But as birth approaches, they transform into enthusiastic cheerleaders, delivering a surge of energy just when the mother needs it most. It’s nature’s way of giving her that final push (pun intended!) to bring her baby earthside.

    All the while, prolactin is working its magic behind the scenes. This mothering hormone begins to peak as labour starts naturally, whispering to every cell in the mother’s body, “Get ready” It’s laying the groundwork for breastfeeding and nudging the mother’s brain towards instinctive nurturing behaviours.

    Together, these hormones alter the mother’s state of consciousness, helping her turn inward and find strength she never knew she had. They change how she perceives pain, sometimes transforming it into intense sensation or even pleasure. They forge the beginnings of an unbreakable bond between mother and child.

    But this dance is delicate. It thrives in calm, dark, private environments where the mother feels safe and is supported by familiar people. It prefers to begin on its own terms, free from unnecessary interventions. It loves intuitive movement and positions that let gravity lend a helping hand.

    Labour is an intricate hormonal ballet, a dance as old as humanity itself, guiding a new life into the world and a woman into motherhood. 

    Brain waves changes

    Besides the hormones, there are also changes in brain waves. There is an increase in alpha and theta waves – the same patterns we see in deep meditation or hypnosis. The brain is tuning out the external world and tuning into the body’s innate wisdom.

    This altered state isn’t unique to birth. It’s fascinatingly similar to other naturally occurring altered states. Think about the calm, focused state of a seasoned meditator, or the state of someone under deep hypnosis. Labour taps into these same neural pathways.

    Going into labourland is not just a turn of phrase. It’s a real, physiologically measurable altered state of consciousness. 

    The Experience of Altered Consciousness During Birth

    Published research on the topic

    When I started looking into this I quickly realised that, unsurprisingly given the focus of modern maternity culture, there is almost no published research on the subject of the change of consciousness during birth. There are various people who have written about this state in books and online articles, including Ina May Gaskin, Sarah Buckley, and Hazel Tree in her book A birth path. Jane Hardwicke Collings has written about it in her blog. Jane also mentioned to me that studies done in Russia (we were not able to find this available online), have included measuring brain waves during labour.

    • The pain of labour is a gateway to an altered state of consciousness and ecstatic birth. Jane Hardwicke Collings
    • Brain waves slow even more, she may reach the deepest place of delta waves, the oneness of ecstatic bliss and complete unity. Hazel Tree

    There is also a blog article by midwife Whapio Diane Bartlett which describes the stages of birth from a holistic/consciousness point of view. 

    • This may be the pinnacle of the altered state. Brainwaves may shift to Delta, the slowest and deepest of our known patterns, which allows us access to the realms of the unconscious…the realms of profound knowing, meditative understanding and peak experiences. This is the realm of transformation. Whapio Diane Bartlett

    I found a handful of articles mentioning altered states of consciousness during birth. A review paper from 2018 called Women’s psychological experiences of physiological childbirth: a metasynthesis, mentions altered states of consciousness and differences in time perception: “The peaks of endogenous oxytocin during labour, together with the progressive release of endorphins in the maternal brain, are likely to cause the altered state of consciousness most typical of unmedicated labour that midwives and mothers easily recognise or describe as ‘labour land’, but this phenomenon has received little attention from neuropsychology.”

    Another paper from 2020, Birth as a neuro-psycho-social event: An integrative model of maternal experiences and their relation to neurohormonal events during childbirth, states that “The spontaneous altered state of consciousness, that some women experience, may well be a hallmark of physiological childbirth in humans. “ and “This description of women´s experiences during labor and birth and its potential for transformation resembles descriptions of mystical states of consciousness. Classically these states have been achieved through meditation and religious practices (including dancing, praying and fasting) or through intake of substances with hallucinogenic properties such as psilocybin or LSD“

    Until very recently, the scientific community had largely overlooked the unique state of consciousness experienced by women during labour. The first person to publish a paper specifically about birth consciousness was Israeli researcher Dr Orli Dahan, in 2021. Dr Danan has published 11 papers on the subject since. I published an article about how drumming supports birth and altered states of consciousness in the International of birth and parenting education in 2023. This was the first time that an article was published about drumming and birth in a scientific journal.

    The emergence of these papers is no coincidence; they are a reflection of our evolving understanding and readiness to explore new depths of human experience. It’s as if humanity has reached a tipping point, finally prepared to embrace truths that were previously ignored. This convergence of expanded awareness and scientific inquiry signals a new era in our understanding of birth, consciousness, and the nature of humanity.

    According to Dahan’s theory of “birthing consciousness,” the mother’s brain enters an extraordinary state, unlike anything she’s experienced before. It’s as if nature has designed a special mindset just for this moment, one that will support her through the intensity of birth and lead to better outcomes.

    Dahan’s research paints an intriguing picture. The usually chatty prefrontal cortex – the part of our brain responsible for complex thinking and self-control – takes a back seat. Blood flow to this area decreases, its activity diminishes. It’s like the logical, inhibited part of the brain is stepping aside, allowing something more primal and instinctive to take the wheel.

    This shift isn’t just about getting through labour; it’s about thriving. Dahan argues that this altered state not only helps the mother navigate the physical challenges of birth but also opens the door to profound positive emotional experiences. It’s as if the brain is creating the perfect conditions for not just survival, but for a transformative journey.

    These changes might not be a fleeting phenomenon. Dahan points to studies in rats showing that the experience of birth leaves a lasting imprint. Mother rats who’ve given birth show increased resilience to stress, an effect that persists well into their twilight years. Could human mothers experience similar long-term benefits?

    Dahan’s work doesn’t stop at theory. She’s also explored practical factors that might influence birthing consciousness. Something as simple as softer lighting in hospital rooms, for instance, has been linked to fewer medical interventions. It’s a reminder that the environment we create for birthing women can have profound effects on their experiences.

    For all these insights, Dahan is the first to admit we’re just scratching the surface. She points out a glaring gap in our knowledge – to date, no one has conducted direct research on the neuropsychological state of women during natural or medicated birth. It’s a call to action for the scientific community.

    The potential implications of this research are vast. Understanding birthing consciousness could revolutionise how we approach birth, leading to better outcomes for women and their families.  One thing is clear: the journey to understand birthing consciousness is just beginning. 

    Benefits of allowing this natural state to unfold 

    Supporting birth consciousness during labour and birth can have several important benefits:

    Enhanced coping with labour pain and stress:

    • High endorphin levels during labour can produce an altered state of consciousness that helps women deal with the process of giving birth, even if it is long and challenging .
    • The “birthing consciousness” state is described as a healthy dissociative state that can reduce pain perception as labour progresses .

    Promotion of physiological birth processes:

    • Allowing women to enter an altered state of consciousness during labour may be a hallmark of physiological childbirth in humans .
    • It can help optimise the release and effects of beneficial hormones like oxytocin that facilitate labour progress .

    Improved maternal experience and satisfaction:

    • Women who experience physiological natural childbirth often describe it as a transcendent experience .
    • It can lead to feelings of euphoria and empowerment after birth .

    Enhanced bonding and postpartum adaptation:

    • The altered state may strengthen the mother-infant relationship in the early postpartum period .
    • High endorphin levels can make mothers feel alert and attentive as they begin to care for their newborn .

    Reduced need for medical interventions:

    • Supporting natural hormonal processes and altered consciousness may reduce the need for interventions that can interfere with labour progress .

    Long-term psychological benefits:

    • The birthing experience can generate feelings of joy and awe that may be life-altering, enhancing self-esteem and boosting energy .

    Potential for personal growth:

    • Experiencing birth consciousness may offer an opportunity for immense personal growth.

    Note: The transformative power of trance states extends far beyond the birthing room, offering women a profound tool for growth and healing throughout their lives. Altered states of consciousness serve as gateways to deep inner wisdom, facilitating smoother transitions during pivotal life changes such as puberty, menopause, career shifts, and other endings and beginnings. Moreover, trance states have shown remarkable potential in healing trauma. By accessing these heightened states of awareness, women can safely revisit and reprocess traumatic experiences, allowing for deep emotional release and restructuring of neural pathways. Whether induced through meditation, breathwork, or rhythmic activities like drumming, trance experiences create a sacred space where women can shed old identities, embrace new aspects of themselves, and emerge renewed. In essence, trance states offer a powerful, natural method for women to navigate life’s challenges, foster personal growth, and reclaim their innate power and wisdom.

    My experience of birth trance

    When I gave birth to my first child at home (something which was unexpected, as a short few months before I was extremely scared of birth. Hiring a doula helped change this society imposed belief), I plunged into the depths of an altered state of consciousness. It wasn’t just during the birth itself – it was afterwards that its transformative effects truly became obvious. I was on a high from the experience, feeling euphoric, like I could achieve anything. This feeling lasted for weeks, and even now, over 18 years later, I can still tap into this experience as one of the empowering experiences of my life.

    Not only did I feel amazing, but there was a distinct feeling that the world around me had shifted; everything looked and felt different, brighter, more vibrant. This altered state lingered for days, as if my brain had been completely rewired by the experience.

    This shift sparked a complete change in my career trajectory. When my son was just 4 months old, I found myself at a Birthlight birth conference, rubbing shoulders with birth legends like Ina May Gaskin, Michel Odent, and Frederic Leboyer. It was there that a woman said something to me that still echoes in my mind: “Our society doesn’t want women to have transformative experiences like yours – because look at you now.”

    Her words really hit me. I knew exactly what she meant. Women who’ve experienced births like mine no longer fit neatly into society’s mould. We’ve glimpsed something powerful, something primal, and it changes us. We become harder to control, less likely to blindly follow the status quo. It’s as if the birth experience awakens an untamed part of ourselves that society would rather keep dormant.

    My journey from that homebirth to the conference and my leaving my scientific job behind to support women in achieving positive birth experiences was more than just a change in career – it was a radical shift in consciousness, a rebirth of my own. And I realised that this transformation, this awakening, is precisely what makes such birth experiences so potent – and perhaps, so threatening.

    Stories from women about this altered state during birth

    In the middle phase of my labour I was very much in an altered state of consciousness, the closest experience I could connect it to was doing ayahuasca in the Peruvian jungle years before, I was very grateful for that actually because it gave me the confidence to be able to surrender into it and trust that state which is so unlike our waking life. When I was in the birth pool in the dark lit only by our fire and fairy lights I felt like I literally became a mermaid submerged in the dark waters. It was so sensual and my mind completely fell away. I had this strong sense of making love to pain, literally like it was this sensual union with discomfort and the opening of my body! Amelia

    A nice element of my birth for me is completely losing the sense of time. My birth, as beautiful as it was, had quite the intensity too, so not having the sense of time was glorious….and after I gave birth to my baby, I honestly don’t know what day of the week it was or whether it was night or day. Somebody could have told me we are in a different month or year and I honestly wouldn’t know if they’re telling the truth or not. Magdalena

    I actively spoke with and received answers from the divine/God/universe, while birthing my third child. Sophia

    I had an out of body experience too . I met with my deceased best friend and twins and landed in my body as my daughter was born. Alice

    As my doula arrived and rubbed my lower back it was like I levitated above the scene. Husband behind in the doorway to the left, nervously watching. Two midwives preparing tools and equipment, listening to my guttural birth noise.  Then lightness and lift as I was just watching myself do the thing. I have no recollection of the crowning. Baby cried before the shoulders were out. No feelings in the body but just watching it all occur around like a scene in a film. It was like there was something I could not be present in my body for. Like I had to go and get her soul before I could ground again. Spiritually it moved me to a new level of understanding of source and connection that wouldn’t be fully understood until years later. When I reflect on the experience now it’s clear to me that what I experienced was a leaving of the human body and into the soul space. What needed to happen through this birth was a disconnection from all that was to carve a new path. Lorna

    Most of my 6h labour was at home with no midwife, just my doula. I put on headphones with relaxing music and it went like that until the delivery. Midwife got there 10-15min before my baby was born. He was my second and this was a planned home birth. I was totally in the zone with my headphones, no interruptions. Just completely present with the sensations in my body and I’ve embraced the overwhelm of each wave of contraction with my deep breaths. Having the headphones, being at home, no interruptions was essential to be in my bubble.. almost as if I were by myself in a dark cave but very safe.  Cristina

    I was pleased in a way the midwife didn’t arrive because I got to have my journey in peace but at the same time, having worked with midwives that actively support this, having seen the difference it makes for a woman in labour, I felt sad I didn’t have one there to hold the space and very very grateful I went with my instinct and against COVID regulations and got my doula to be there for me. I had visions, time elapsed. I was both very much in my body, in the room, and at the same time somewhere else. I was everything and everywhere at the same time that I was nothing but flesh and blood and bones. I was absolutely eternal and inescapably mortal. Laura

    Part of my birth trance was becoming love, an overwhelming feeling of being a portal of love. It flowed out. I grew to 10 foot high and was the goddess of my world. I remember thinking ‘I AM love’. It was f#*kING awesome. Rosie

    Time is different. Looking back at video footage of my homebirth, I remember what was happening but I felt I was in a different “place/time”. It’s hard to describe. Lynsey

    From breaking my waters and walking in a field full of damselflies, I became quickly held in a space of becoming and transition. I could feel there was a total coming together of my voice as I toned out sounds, and found my ebb and flow. The connection with my body and my baby and the powerful rite of passage in my own home, with our beautiful doula and two respectful, tuned-in midwives enabled me, in our tiny living room, to create safety and a net of power. My body, at age 40, found an inner strength and there was no room for anything other than what I can only describe as being in a different realm of consciousness and dreaming, where the space I held was one of protectors and the one being initiated, truly sacred space. It is the greatest honour and biggest achievement of my life to have brought my boys (my oldest one 7 years before) into the world in this way, and joy. Angie

    I blended with the universe . I found a focal point which was a painting . It became my force . Anything else just became part of me as my baby was born and came into the world seamlessly. Hayet.

    My consciousness was circling upwards at the top of my head and I met and merged with my son’s consciousness and brought him into the physical reality. Ailsa

    What fascinates me in the collection of stories above, is that several women describe experiencing an out of body experience. This state is also known to be associated with death, or near death experiences. In the book DMT: The Spirit Molecule, author Rick Strassman hypotheses that the release of the natural psychedelic DMT by our brain may play a role in these, and other mystical experiences. There is also emerging evidence that the endocannabinoid systems plays a role in labour and birth at uterine level, and whilst effects on the brain haven’t yet been studies, I would not be surprised if they played a role too.

    How and why medicine interrupts the birth Trance

    Common practices that disrupt the natural state

    • Being cared for by people you have not met before:  It’s challenging to relax and enter that birth zone state when you’re constantly meeting new people.
    • Having a constant, familiar presence – like a doula or midwife you already know before the first – can make a world of difference. It’s like having your personal coach throughout your entire marathon, cheering you on every step of the way.
    • Change of support person during shifts/ lack of continuity of care: Just as you’ve built a rapport with one care provider, their shift ends. It’s like changing coaches mid-game – disruptive and potentially unsettling.
    • Having to travel to an unfamiliar environment during labour: Trading your cosy home nest for a clinical environment can be jarring. It’s like trying to meditate in an airport – possible, but not ideal for entering that altered state of consciousness.
    • Bright lights and loud noises: Bright lights, beeping machines, unfamiliar smells and noises – it’s a far cry from the calm, dimly lit environment that supports birth consciousness. It’s like trying to sleep with a spotlight in your face and a rock concert next door.
    • Frequent interventions and examinations : Frequent examinations and interventions can disrupt the natural flow of labour. It’s like constantly checking your watch during meditation – it breaks your concentration.
    • Time pressure and expectations of progress : Labour doesn’t always follow a schedule, but hospital protocols often expect it to. It’s like having a countdown clock on your marathon – not exactly relaxing.
    • Use of pain medication and epidurals : Often offered as a first resort rather than part of a range of coping strategies, pain medication can interfere with the natural hormonal process of labour. It’s like taking a shortcut in your marathon – it might make things easier, but you might miss out on the full experience.
    • [Note: Pain relief can be necessary and beneficial for some women. The issue is not its existence, but how it’s presented and used.] 
    • Not being able to make informed decisions: Many women aren’t fully informed about their options or the potential impacts of various interventions. It’s like running a race without knowing the course – you can do it, but you’re at a disadvantage.
    • Restrictive guidelines and one size fits all approach: Women are often pressured to consent to interventions based on an average population instead of their own unique circumstances. Recognising that every birth, like every woman, is unique. It’s about tailoring the experience to support individual needs and preferences, not following a one-size-fits-all protocol.

    Why modern maternity care actively disrupt the birth trance

    The idea that our culture unconsciously interrupts the “birth trance” to exert control is rooted in the larger context of how power dynamics and social norms influence birth. It can be broken down into several aspects:

    • Medicalisation of birth: Modern cultures, particularly in the West, have increasingly medicalised birth, shifting it from a natural process to a highly managed, clinical event. This medicalisation is often framed as being for safety, but it also transfers power and authority away from the birthing person to medical professionals. The “birth trance”—a deeply instinctual, altered state of consciousness many women enter during labour—can be disrupted by interventions like bright lights, frequent monitoring, and verbal instructions. These actions interrupt the natural rhythm of labour, reducing the birthing woman’s autonomy and reliance on their own bodily wisdom, effectively placing control in the hands of others.
    • Cultural anxiety around surrender and vulnerability: Birth is a profoundly vulnerable and intense process that requires a certain surrender to one’s body and instincts. Our culture tends to be uncomfortable with states of surrender, especially when it comes to women’s bodies. Society often encourages control, predictability, and structure. Medical protocols, constant monitoring, and interventions—though presented as necessary—also reflect a cultural bias toward controlling a process that might otherwise appear chaotic or unpredictable.
    • Fear of female power: The birth trance represents a powerful state where women can experience immense physiological and psychological transformation. Patriarchal structures have often sought to suppress expressions of female power, particularly in relation to childbirth, which is an inherently female, and thus potentially threatening, experience to male-dominated systems of power. By interrupting this trance, cultural norms may unconsciously aim to suppress the power women hold in this deeply primal moment, reinforcing existing hierarchies where medical professionals or institutions hold authority over women’s bodies.
    • Disconnection from nature and instinct: Modern society places high value on intellect and technology, at the expense of intuition and nature. The birth trance is an instinctual, bodily experience that connects a woman deeply to her natural rhythms and ancestral wisdom. By interrupting this process, society reinforces a cultural disconnection from the body and nature. This serves to maintain control over birth by privileging external, scientific authority over internal, intuitive knowledge.
    • Economics and efficiency: Hospitals and medical systems are structured around efficiency and managing large volumes of patients, often within tight timeframes. Allowing women to enter a natural birth trance, which can slow labour down and make it less predictable, conflicts with these priorities. As a result, interventions like labour induction, c-sections, and other forms of control are encouraged to keep the process on a manageable timetable. This commodification of birth serves institutional needs at the expense of the woman’s natural process, further reinforcing a culture of control.

    Towards a more conscious approach to maternity care

    To support birth consciousness, we need to

    • Provide a calm, comfortable, homely, dimly light, quiet, and private birthing environment 
    • Minimise disturbances and unnecessary interventions 
    • Offer continuity of care and one-on-one support from caregivers familiar to the mother, whose presence she finds soothing.
    • Recognise and promote homebirth as a valid, normal and empowering choice
    • Foster a supportive emotional atmosphere that promotes feelings of safety and trust
    • Encourage and respect the mother’s intuition and bodily wisdom
    • Offer non-pharmacological pain management techniques that work with the altered state (relaxation, hypnobirthing, breathwork, massage, music, scents, drumming…)
    • Educate birth professionals and women about the states of consciousness during birth and how to support them
    • Minimise cognitive stimulation and questions during labour, allowing the mother to stay in her trance state
    • Train birth partners to support and enhance the birth trance state
    • Implement policies that allow for flexibility in birth plans and timelines, respecting the unique rhythm of each labour
    • Create a culture of reverence for the transformative nature of the birth experience

    These are unlikely to happen in the current model of care. The practices that support birth consciousness are at odds with many aspects of the current model of care. Today’s maternity services prioritise efficiency, standardisation, and risk management over individualised, woman-centred care.  Hospital environments are typically clinical rather than homely, care is often fragmented rather than continuous, and interventions are frequently routine rather than minimised. The medicalisation of birth has overshadowed the profound psycho-emotional and spiritual aspects of the birthing process.

    Supporting birth trance: a practical guide for birth workers

    In our modern culture, the deep altered state of consciousness that occurs during birth remains largely unrecognised. Maternity care protocols often actively disrupt this natural phenomenon, unaware of its significance. As birth workers, our primary responsibility is twofold:

    1. Self-education: Immerse yourself in the research and writings of pioneers in birth consciousness (as referenced in the scientific section of this article). Develop a deep understanding of how to facilitate and protect this altered state.
    2. Client education: This is crucial, and it must go beyond mere information sharing, as experiential learning is key.

    For clients unfamiliar with altered states, providing multiple hands-on experiences during pregnancy is paramount. Theoretical knowledge alone is insufficient; lived experiences are essential for true comprehension.

    Offer regular opportunities to experience trance-like states, depending on what appeals most to your clients and what you feel comfortable offering:

    • Guided meditation/relaxation
    • Hypnobirthing scripts
    • Conscious movement (such as 5rhythms dancing or pregnancy specific dance)
    • Drum-assisted journeys (recorded or live)

    Drum-facilitated meditations are particularly effective. Research shows that rhythmic auditory entrainment significantly eases access to deep trance states compared to meditation alone. (See my published paper on drumming and birth for scientific backing). You can find pregnancy and birth focused drum journeys on both my Youtube Channel, and on Jane Hardwicke Collings ‘s Youtube channel.

    Guide clients in creating optimal birthing environments that support the trance state:

    • Emphasise the importance of dim lighting, privacy, and a quiet and cosy atmosphere, in the context of protecting the birth trance
    • Help develop strategies to maintain this environment in various birth settings (some of my client chose to wear noise cancelling headphones and eye masks)
    • Assist in articulating these preferences in birth plan documents

    Educate partners on their critical role as guardians of the birth trance, emphasising their importance in minimising disruptions and maintaining a protective space.

    While challenging, attempt to educate medical professionals about birth consciousness. Be prepared for resistance, but remember that even small shifts in understanding can lead to significant changes over time.

    During the birth: your role as a gatekeeper is crucial. Every action and decision should be made with awareness of its potential impact on the birthing woman’s altered state.

    Flexibility is key: Remember that each birth and mother is unique. Remain adaptable and acutely attuned to the individual needs of each woman. Your ultimate goal is to create and fiercely protect the sacred space where the birth trance can naturally unfold, empowering the mother to access her innate birthing wisdom.

    By embracing this approach, we not only support individual births but also contribute to a broader shift in birth culture, honouring the profound psychological and spiritual dimensions of this transformative life event.

    A vision for the future

    However, there is reason for hope. There is a growing awareness and a gradual shift in understanding birth as more than just a medical event. This shift is happening on multiple fronts:

    • Consumer demand: More women are becoming informed about their birth options and are advocating for more supportive, individualised, less interventionist care.
    • Education: Childbirth educators,  doulas and conscious midwives are playing a crucial role in informing women about the importance of the birth environment and their own innate capabilities.
    • Research: More studies are exploring the psychological and physiological benefits of supportive birth practices, and the change of consciousness during birth
    • Policy changes: Some healthcare systems are beginning to implement policies that support more woman-centred care, including continuity of care models.
    • Integration of complementary therapies: Many maternity units are now more open to incorporating complementary therapies that can support birth consciousness, such as hypnobirthing techniques, aromatherapy, and the use of music or rhythmic sounds.

    I know this may sound naive in the face of a severely underfunded and understaffed maternity care system, with closure of home birth teams and birth centres, and the ever increasing rate of interventions, and tightening of regulations. We should never underestimate the power of a few determined individuals to affect change. Also remember that, when you push the pendulum too far one way, it also eventually swings back the other way.

    While systemic change may be slow, every small step towards supporting birth consciousness is valuable. Each woman who experiences a birth where her consciousness is honoured and supported becomes an advocate for change. Each healthcare provider who learns about and respects birth consciousness can influence their colleagues and institution.

    The concept of a tipping point – that moment when a series of small changes or incidents becomes significant enough to cause a larger, more important change – is particularly relevant to the revolution in birth consciousness. Research shows that, for a new idea to be embraced exponentially, we only need about 17% of the population to know about it. We may be approaching such a tipping point in maternity care. As more women experience and share their stories of conscious births, as more healthcare providers witness the profound benefits of supporting the birth trance, and as research continues to validate the importance of honouring this altered state, we inch closer to a paradigm shift. 

    Each positive birth experience, each converted practitioner, each published study acts like a pebble on a scale. Once reached, the tipping point could trigger a rapid transformation in how society views and supports birth. We might see a swift transition from birth as a medical event to birth as a holistic, consciousness-altering rite of passage. This tipping point holds the potential not just to revolutionise maternity care, but to profoundly impact how we understand human consciousness, the power of women’s bodies, and the nature of the transition into motherhood. Every effort to support and promote birth consciousness becomes vital, for it may be the pebble that finally tips the scale towards a new era of enlightened, woman-centred birth practices.

    The journey towards fully supporting birth consciousness in mainstream maternity care may be long, but it has begun. This shift not only has the power to improve birth experiences and outcomes but also to catalyse a broader societal rise in consciousness.

    A story of hope for the future

    A quiet revolution is taking place in birth rooms across the country. Gone are the days of stark, clinical environments and a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, a new paradigm is emerging, one that honours the unique, altered state of consciousness that women can enter during labour. 

    Picture Sarah, a first time mother, and her partner, Alex. To support her through the journey, she hires a doula, Zoe. Zoe enters the picture long before the birth itself. In the weeks leading up to Sarah’s due date, Zoe meets with Sarah and Alex regularly. She helps them understand the concept of birth-trance, explaining how this altered state of consciousness can profoundly affect Sarah’s birth experience. Together, they practise techniques that will help Sarah tap into this state more easily when labour begins.

    On the big day, Zoe arrives at Sarah’s home in the early stages of labour. She immediately sets about creating a soothing environment – dimming lights, playing soft music, and using aromatherapy to engage Sarah’s senses in a way that promotes relaxation and inward focus. She plays repetitive, trance inducing beats on her drum to further support Sarah’s entrance into labourland.

    As contractions intensify and Sarah begins to slip into her birth-trance, Zoe and Alex recognise the signs immediately. Her voice drops to a whisper, her movements become slower and more deliberate. Zoe gently guides Alex in supporting Sarah, showing him how to provide touch and verbal encouragement without disrupting Sarah’s focus.

    When the midwife, Maria, arrives at Sarah’s home, she’s also a familiar face, as Sarah has also been seeing throughout her pregnancy. Zoe works seamlessly with Maria. She shares Sarah’s progress and preferences with Maria, without Sarah having to break her concentration, ensuring that the environment remains conducive to the birth-trance state.

    Maria herself is very aware of Sarah’s needs for quiet support, and she blends into the quiet and dimly lit space, addressing Sarah with gentle, reassuring whispers.

    During a particularly intense phase of labour, when Sarah begins to doubt herself, Zoe steps in. She reminds Sarah of her strength, using visualisations they had practised together. She resumes her intuitive drum beats to support Sarah’s brain waves in slowing down. Her calm, steady presence helps Sarah re-center and sink deeper into her altered state.

    In the pushing stage, Zoe and Maria work with Alex to physically support Sarah in her chosen birthing positions. They whisper encouragement, reminding Sarah to trust her body and her instincts. 

    After the birth, Zoe and Maria remain present, maintaining the quiet, sacred atmosphere as Sarah and Alex bond with their newborn. They ensure Sarah is comfortable, and undisturbed during this precious golden hour.

    In the weeks following the birth, Zoe and Maria both visit Sarah at home. They process the birth experience together, helping Sarah understand and integrate the powerful altered state she experienced during labour.

    This collaborative model – a continuity of care one, where doulas work alongside midwives to support birthing women’s altered states of consciousness – is now the norm in maternity care. It’s an approach that recognises the profound psychological and physiological benefits of the birth-trance state, and actively works to create environments where this state can unfold.

    Weeks later, as Sarah reflects on her experience, she feels a sense of empowerment and awe. The birth wasn’t just about bringing her child into the world; it was a transformative journey, made possible by an environment that recognised and supported her ability to enter a unique state of consciousness.

    Home birth is also now considered the norm, as research shows that it is easier to enter the birth trance state in one’s own environment, and therefore safer for both mother and baby. For the rare cases where a more medicalised setting is needed, hospitals and birth centres have trained their staff in recognising and supporting altered states. They have redesigned their spaces to be more conducive to supporting them. And perhaps most importantly, they’re empowering women like Sarah to understand, anticipate, and advocate for birth experiences that honour this incredible capacity of the human mind and body. The revolution is quiet, but its impact is profound. 

    Conclusion

    The journey through birth consciousness is a testament to the innate wisdom of the body and the transformative power of birth. The birth trance is not merely a biological curiosity, but a vital component of the birthing process with far-reaching implications for maternal and infant well-being.

    The stark contrast between the natural altered state of consciousness during birth and the practices of modern maternity care highlights a critical need for change. By understanding and honouring this unique state, we have the opportunity to revolutionise birth experiences, empowering women and potentially improving outcomes for both mothers and babies.

    The stories shared by mothers who have experienced this altered state underscore its significance. These accounts of transcendence, out of body experiences, connection, and empowerment reveal the deeply personal and often spiritual nature of birth when allowed to unfold naturally.

    As we move forward, it’s crucial that we continue to bridge the gap between scientific understanding and holistic practices. The work of researchers like Dr. Orli Dahan provides a foundation, and there is still much to explore and understand about the neuropsychological state of women during birth.

    Ultimately, recognising and supporting the birth trance is about more than just improving birth experiences. It’s about acknowledging the power and wisdom of women’s bodies, challenging societal norms that seek to control this uniquely female experience, and reclaiming birth as a transformative rite of passage.

    As we continue to unravel the mysteries of birth consciousness, we open doors to a more empowering, respectful, and holistic approach to birth. In doing so, we not only honour the journey of each birthing woman but also contribute to the evolution of human consciousness.

    Do you resonate? Did you have an experience of the birth trance? I’d love to hear what you think.

  • The Art of Mindful Re-entry: How I Mastered the Post-Holiday Work Transition

    The Art of Mindful Re-entry: How I Mastered the Post-Holiday Work Transition

    Have you ever felt that post-holiday dread, where the thought of diving back into work feels overwhelming? For years, I struggled with this transition, but I’ve finally cracked a way to have a smooth, stress-free return. In this article, I share my journey from frantic catch-up to mindful re-entry, and how you can transform your post-holiday experience into a gentle, productive glide back into work life.

    The Importance of Real Breaks

    Monday was my first day at work after spending 3 weeks in the South of France in August. I did not do much work at all on Monday, and very little on Tuesday, only starting to slowly get back into a normal routine by Wednesday and Thursday.This is a process I have been working on for about 3 years. This is the first where I feel that I’m finally truly embracing it. Since I became self-employed 11 years ago I learnt the hard way that giving myself real breaks from work was essential, and that removing pressure upon return was also essential.

    My Holiday Experience

    This year, truly clocking off during my holiday was made easier by the fact that 1) I no longer have on-call doula clients to check up on (Last year I was still supporting a friend through birth-despite no longer officially working at a doula since 2022). 2) I have learnt to create passive income from my online courses (this includes pre-planning for a lower income on holiday months by running promotions on my courses ahead of time), 3) for the first time since I started working for myself in 2013, I have a VA (thanks to my Access to Work grant), and she took care of purchases/clients whilst I was away.

    I had a lovely, slow, relaxing time in France. Lots of leisurely mornings, swimming in lakes and the sea. Longer coffee and pain au chocolat breakfast whilst enjoying a sea view. I caught up with my family. I ate gorgeous food. I read books. I drummed and I wrote songs. I binged watched a Netflix series. I played games. I went out for meals, and to visit new places, including a gorgeous magical natural fountain in the Aude region.

    Slowing down and being led by what my heart and soul want to do is very replenishing. This was doubly meaningful this time, as I had been working hard to meet my new drumming book deadline for several weeks, and handed over the manuscript to the publisher the day before my holiday.

    The Challenge of Returning to Work

    Even though I love my work, I always find the change of pace after coming back from a break, especially one as long as this one, challenging

    In the past, I used to try to get myself back into work mode instantly, and berated myself inwardly when I couldn’t. What used to happen is that I internally flogged myself and not only did this not work, but it added pressure, stress, and a double layer of negative mindset to an already challenging time. 

    My Evolved Approach to Re-entry

    Now, I purposefully plan at least 2 or 3 days of slow re-entry. I plan my return ahead of time, writing a list of everything I’ll need to do when I get back from my break, because I tend to forget. Being clear that nothing intense or extra challenging is taking place immediately when I’m back also helps avoid overwhelm. 

    The first day, all I’m asking myself to do is planning what needs to be done. I remove all pressure. Then I slowly increase the amount of work whilst carefully gauging whether I’m OK doing this amount yet. Instead of berating myself, I have a gentle conversation with myself, reminding myself that taking it slow is the wise way to go about it.

    Because of the way resistance works, as soon as I give myself permission to take things slowly, my nervous system relaxes out of fight and flight, the resistance eases, and poof, as if by magic, I no longer feel the desire to avoid work. It’s like reverse psychology.

    Tips for a Smooth Transition

    I’ve been writing about self-care as a solopreneur for over 8 years, you can read my first article about this here.

    Here’s a collection of other articles about self-care, gentleness and self-kindness I’ve written over the years:

    Key Takeaways:

    • Recognise the importance of real breaks from work, especially for if you are self-employed
    • Plan for lower income during holiday months by creating passive income streams
    • Delegate tasks when possible (e.g., hiring a VA) to truly disconnect during time off
    • Allow yourself a slow, gradual re-entry to work after a vacation
    • Plan your return ahead of time, listing tasks to avoid forgetting important items
    • Start with a day of just planning, removing all pressure to accomplish tasks
    • Slowly increase workload while gauging your readiness and energy levels
    • Replace self-criticism with gentle self-talk and understanding
    • Remember that a mindful, gradual return often leads to better productivity in the long run
    • Continue to refine your re-entry process based on what works best for you

    Conclusion

    Embracing a slow, intentional return to work isn’t just about easing stress—it’s about honouring the restoration you’ve gained from your time off. By giving yourself permission to ease back in gently, you’re likely to find yourself more productive and centred. Remember, it’s not about how quickly you can jump back in, but how wisely you can transition. 

    So the next time you return from a break, try this approach. Your future self will thank you for your kindness and wisdom. 

    What strategies do you use to make your return to work smoother? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.