🥁 New Course Alert 🥁 Join me on ‘The Women Drum Keepers Collective’ Learn More

Category: rebozo

The postnatal recovery massage: a modern adaptation of a traditional ritual to nurture new mothers
Since January 2019, I have taught a new postnatal massage called the postnatal recovery massage, together with osteopath Teddy Brookes.
I want to tell you the history behind why and how we created this massage.
It is very much needed, because in the Western world we no longer offer bodywork as standard to help new mothers heal during the postpartum. Yet, given the tremendous changes a woman’s body undergoes during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum, this is absolutely crazy. Read more on that in this blog post. https://sophiemessager.com/why-postnatal-bodywork-matters/
The seed for this massage (and my book, Why postnatal recovery matters which includes a chapter on postpartum bodywork) was planted when I learnt the closing the bones massage, a traditional postpartum massage from South America, in 2013. People asked if I could teach them so I created a workshop and starting teaching it to birthworkers.
It grew organically and together with a couple of other doulas, I ended up training over 500 people in offering this amazing nurturing ritual. I shared this knowledge in the hope to change the face of the postnatal support, towards a more mother centered and nurturing time.
I have a theme in my professional life, in that almost always end up teaching stuff because people ask me to. Since discovering the Human design system, it makes sense to me because it is in my design to respond.
After a few years of teaching closing the bones, more and more people who had trained with me asked if it would be possible to provide a version of the massage on a massage table instead of on the floor, because they had bad knees, or bad backs, and found working on the floor difficult.
I’d learnt a lot from practicing the massage on my local osteopath friend Teddy Brookes (he provided all the anatomical and effectiveness knowledge for the closing the bones workshop handout, and therefore already knew the technique inside out), so it made sense that I asked him asking if he liked the idea of helping me develop a massage table version of the ritual.
Teddy was enthusiastic about the idea and we started working on it in 2017. We are both perfectionists and it took us over a year and many sessions of practice and trial and error to get it right.
At the beginning, I wanted to create the exact same treatment on the table as we did on the floor. However, the biomechanics of doing something from the side rather than standing over the person, meant that some things simply couldn't be done in the same way.
Some techniques worked mechanistically but didn't feel good so we discarded them. It was at times a frustrating, but mostly an exciting exploration and experience and a huge learning curve for me, especially as Teddy also educated me on how to position and use my body for more power, less effort, and increases effectiveness around the table.
As we progressed we also ended up modifying and adding several elements to the massage based on my experience of body changes in the postpartum that weren't treated as part of the original massage. For example I had noticed that new mothers often had flared ribs post birth, as well as hunched shoulders from feeding and holding their baby, so we added some new techniques to treat these.
In the end we ended up with a massage which, whilst inspired from the original technique, was really quite different. We named it the Postnatal Recovery Massage (PRM).
We had our first practice on a group of birthworkers and therapists in Autumn 2018, and they all loved it.
We started teaching it in January 2019. As of now we have run 10 workshops and trained 90 people in offering this massage! As our 11^th workshop is planned for this month we are hoping to reach 100 trainees who can offer this amazing nurturing treatment to new mothers.
Here is some feedback from people who have attended the workshop:
” This new version of the postnatal ceremony blends effective rebozo (shawl) massage techniques and lymphatic drainage massage to support post natal mamas. Rather fabulous it is too!” Emma Kenny, Massage therapist.
“One of the reasons I like the massage that you have developed for the table as it feels like a modern way of adapting the traditional massage. It feels like a new technique, a therapists technique. I also like being able to connect to the anatomical benefits. I want to practise giving the massage and feel newly inspired.” Katie Oliffe, Doula
“What a wonderful, professional, well constructed and instructive course with plenty of time for step by step practical, complemented by Teddy’s expertise and Sophie’s organic shamanism and such a wonderful community of like minded body workers. Thank you. Thoroughly recommended” Jenni Tribe, Therapist
“Thank you so much for an informative and inspiring day. I can’t wait to use the techniques on my clients and support women more effectively. You are doing an amazing work and I’m so grateful ad excited to be part of it!” Grace Lillywhite, Pilates teacher.
“I loved this course. It is just as nurturing as the closing the bones massage but much easier to do. Sophie and Teddy worked amazingly well together” Michelle Parkin, doula.
“The course was well organised, very informative and easy to follow. The level of practical support was fantastic and I feel confident to take what I have learnt and help local women postnatally. Thank you!” Becki Scott, doula and massage therapist.
“Amazing workshop! Loved being in a small group to work through techniques in enough details. As an osteopath this experience has been invaluable in improving my practise if postnatal patient , in fact all of my patients!” Rob Ballard, osteopath
” The massage is a wonderful reworking of the traditional Closing The Bones massage performed on a couch rather than the floor. Sophie and Teddy have taken all that is special about it and fused her energy-work approach with his osteopathic technique to create something extraordinary. It incorporates binding, rocking, jiggling and specific tension releases, with massage of the chest, abdomen and pelvis with warming oil. It is truly a celebration of the postpartum body!” Charlotte Filcek, doula.
“The tutoring, the technique, the group, just exceptional!” Alison Duff, therapist and therapy centre owner.
Here is a short video showing what happens during the workshops:
Play
November 18, 2021
Why we have calluses on our hearts
You know when you do some gardening; you get calluses on your hands? I believe our society causes us to have calluses on our hearts.
It starts with birth, with families being bullied through a system that treats them like machines and disregards their emotional needs.
It starts with separating mothers and babies. By disrupting the release of the love hormone, Oxytocin, and the bonding process.
It starts with a culture that encourages parents to ignore their instincts, and disregard their baby’s needs for closeness and nurture, lest they will never become “independent”.
It starts with a society that sees punishing a small sign as a sign of strength and good parenting. A society that tells parents to “ignore bad behaviours”.
It continues at school, where beautiful unique souls are pushed and formatted, and expected to “be good”, sit still and do as they are told. TA place where there is control in the form of rewards and punishment, mostly punishment.
Later, it carries on within employment, where there is no trust, and where the carrot and stick culture continues. Where you get punished the moment you make a mistake. Where a culture of bullying pervades. Where whistleblowers are removed instead of addressing the issues they pointed at.
It’s no wonder perhaps that we develop calluses on our hearts. These calluses do not just disconnect us from ourselves; they disconnect us from each other. They remove the ability to experience compassion, and the sense of interconnectedness that is so essential to our wellbeing.
How to we change this?
We change this by listening to our instincts, whether it is during the journey to become parents, during birth, by parenting from a place of gentle nurturance and respect.
We change this by reconnecting to our hearts. By acknowledging the presence of the calluses and treating them with tenderness. By acknowledging them in ourselves, and by acknowledging them in others.
Above all, we change this by starting to listen to our hearts (rather than our heads).
We change this by reconnecting to our hearts. And by reconnecting to the knowing in our hearts.
It is my belief that humanity is at the cusp of a major transformation. That we are leaving the era of head based knowledge, and that the way forward is heart based.
How do you start to reconnect with your heart?
It’s easy.
You know about connecting with your breath? Next time you connect to your breath, imagine that you are breathing through your heart.
Next time you face a dilemma, or need the answer to a question, or need to ask yourself whether something feels right or not, drop into your body, and feel what the options feel like, in your heart.
Teach yourself to recognise your heart’s yes or no response to situations or questions. Drop in. Does it feel open, soft, warm? Does it feel closed, heart, cold? Your body knows. Your heart knows.
The Heartmath institute has many resources on how to connect to one’s heart, including this short animated meditation video.

November 12, 2021
Do you confuse productivity with effort?
Do only feel that you are “working” when it feels like hard work?
At the end of each week I do a “ta-da” list. Often as I reflect on my week, I notice that I often forget to include one to one session with clients as part of my “work” .
I believe that the reason I forget to count these sessions is because sessions with clients (in this case, several pregnant or new families I supported), do not feel like an effort. These sessions do not feel like an effort because I love supporting families. These sessions feel like a magical time out of time, where I’m at my best, holding space for someone whilst their own journey unfolds. During these sessions, I’m in a state of flow. It feels effortless and joyful.
I had an epiphany as I realized this : we live in a culture that equates success with hard work, with effort. The underlying idea is that there has to be some level of strenuousness to the effort for it to be counted as “work”. That we have to flog ourselves to push through unpleasantness for it to count. It is part of the system of education we have grown up in, and of the system that our children are in. A system that equals demanding effort= praiseworthy, and also behind it that whatever is easy has less value.
When I did my antenatal education diploma, I was amazed to discover that I had unconsciously internalized the idea that learning had to be “serious”. As I discovered the science of learning, I realized that mainstream education had it all wrong, and that we learnt much better when having fun. The internalized aspect is so strong that I felt the need to start every single one of my antenatal courses with a disclaimer explaining why I’d make the group do all the work in an interactive, fun way, instead of lecturing them.
The same is true of undoing the misconception that hard work is the only valuable way to achieve something. There is much to say about working within a state of joy, flow and ease. Since I started applying this principle, I have found that not only is my work more joyful, but opportunities seem to flow towards me more easily as well.
I have come to think of it this way: we exist in two extreme states, much like the fight or flight versus rest and relaxation state. We are either closed, rigid and hard, or open, playful and soft.
Magic happens from the second state. There is no room for anything in the closed, hard, rigid state.
Next time you catch yourself in this state, sink into your body and ask yourself how your body feels when you are in that state. Try to soften and open your heart and see what your work feels like from there.

November 12, 2021
What is postpartum bodywork and why we need it back.
All around the world there are (or used to be) traditional practices to help a new mother’s body heal after birth.
Regardless of the continent, these traditions usually include some massage and wrapping rituals, as well as binding the belly and pelvis, and keeping the mother warm.
When you think about the tremendous changes a mother’s body undergoes, it makes so much sense! During pregnancy, the uterus grows from the size of a pear to that of a watermelon, the pelvis tilts forward and becomes wider, the ribs open, the spine curves increase, the abdominal organs get pushed up etc. To give birth, the mother’s body opens up on a physical and energetic level. After birth, these changes need to happen in reverse, whilst the body also undergoes the beginning of lactation.
It seems crazy that we no longer have processes in place to support these changes, or at the very least, some kind of physical examination to make sure everything has returned to a healthy place. At the 6 weeks doctor “check” in the UK, there is no overall physical examination of the mother.
With no checkup, and no sense of what is normal, we have a perfect storm of issues not being treated. The statistics are very telling: 1 in 3 new mothers experience urinary incontinence at 3 months postpartum and nearly one in 2 still has diastasis recti at 6 months postpartum. Research shows that it takes on average 8-10 years post birth for women to seek help for such issues.
Yet, during the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the body is still plastic and resetting itself post birth, there is a unique opportunity for healing.
Traditional massages and rituals, such as closing the bones, understand this need and the window of opportunity, and are designed to “close” a new mother physically, emotionally and energetically, after the widening and opening of pregnancy and birth. Because the needs of new mothers are the same regardless of where they are from, it makes sense all cultures have similar processes to support postpartum healing. This article from Innate traditions provides a beautiful overview of the topic.
As no such treatment is available as standard within the health system, it makes sense to seek bodywork and healing from people who can provide it.
What kind of postnatal bodywork can you have?
- Closing the bones massage
- Postnatal recovery massage
- Specialist therapists such as massage therapists, osteopaths, chiropractors, and pelvic physiotherapists (ask for local recommendations)
- Wrapping your belly and hips
When can you have postnatal bodywork?
As soon as possible during the first 6-8 weeks postpartum or as soon as you are ready. In traditional wisdom, there is a window of healing opportunity and plasticity during this time when the body is designed to heal faster. The strange “don’t do anything before you’ve had your 6 weeks check” isn’t based on any evidence. Moreover, it makes no sense because the 6 weeks check doesn’t include a physical examination. Having massaged many new mothers, some as soon as 24h post birth, I can attest that this is when the bodywork is the most effective to speed up healing.
What can you do for yourself?
- Use the 4 pillars of postnatal recovery (Social support, rest, food and bodywork) to write a postnatal recovery plan (you can download a free template here) to include bodywork. You can ask for gifts vouchers towards postnatal bodywork.
- Wrap your belly and hips. I wrote a blog about it which includes tutorials.
- Keep warm (like a convalescent person would: wrap up, and consume warming foods and drinks)
What can you do for new mothers?
- If you know someone who is pregnant or recently had a baby, it would be a wonderful gift to give them a voucher towards such a treatment.
November 3, 2021
The last days of pregnancy, a place in between
This article was written by midwife Jana Studelska, and originally published on the Mothering website. The original text is no longer available on the mothering website, so I have copied it here, as I like to share this text to my clients when they have reached their due date as it can help put soothing words on the complex feelings associated with waiting for birth.
“The last days of pregnancy are a distinct time of in between. It’s a tricky time for mothers, and these last few days are a biologic and psychological event.
She’s curled up on the couch, waiting, a ball of baby and emotions. A scrambled pile of books on pregnancy, labor, baby names, breastfeeding … not one more word can be absorbed. The birth supplies are loaded in a laundry basket, ready for action. The freezer is filled with meals, the car seat installed, the camera charged. It’s time to hurry up and wait. Not a comfortable place to be, but wholly necessary.
The last days of pregnancy — sometimes stretching to agonizing weeks — are a distinct place, time, event, stage. It is a time of in between. Neither here nor there. Your old self and your new self, balanced on the edge of a pregnancy. One foot in your old world, one foot in a new world.
Shouldn’t there be a word for this state of being, describing the time and place where mothers linger, waiting to be called forward?
Germans have a word, zwischen, which means between. I’ve co-opted that word for my own obstetrical uses. When I sense the discomfort and tension of late pregnancy in my clients, I suggest that they are now in The Time of Zwischen. The time of in between, where the opening begins. Giving it a name gives it dimension, an experience closer to wonder than endurance.
I tell these beautiful, round, swollen, weepy women to go with it and be okay there. Feel it, think it, don’t push it away. Write it down, sing really loudly when no one else is home, go commune with nature, or crawl into your own mama’s lap so she can rub your head until you feel better. I tell their men to let go of their worry; this is an early sign of labor. I encourage them to sequester themselves if they need space, to go out if they need distraction, to enjoy the last hours of this life-as-they-now-know-it. I try to give them permission to follow the instinctual gravitational pulls that are at work within them, just as real and necessary as labor.
The discomforts of late pregnancy are easy to Google: painful pelvis, squished bladder, swollen ankles, leaky nipples, weight unevenly distributed in a girth that makes scratching an itch at ankle level a feat of flexibility. “You might find yourself teary and exhausted,” says one website, “but your baby is coming soon!” Cheer up, sweetie, you’re having a baby. More messaging that what is going on is incidental and insignificant.
What we don’t have is reverence or relevance — or even a working understanding of the vulnerability and openness a woman experiences at this time. Our language and culture fails us. This surely explains why many women find this time so complicated and tricky. But whether we recognize it or not, these last days of pregnancy are a distinct biologic and psychological event, essential to the birth of a mother.
We don’t scientifically understand the complex hormones at play that loosen both her hips and her awareness. In fact, this uncomfortable time of aching is an early form of labor in which a woman begins opening her cervix and her soul. Someday, maybe we will be able to quantify this hormonal advance — the prolactin, oxytocin, cortisol, relaxin. But for now, it is still shrouded in mystery, and we know only how to measure thinning and dilation.
“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” -Tinkerbell
I believe that this is more than biological. It is spiritual. To give birth, whether at home in a birth tub with candles and family or in a surgical suite with machines and a neonatal team, a woman must go to the place between this world and the next, to that thin membrane between here and there. To the place where life comes from, to the mystery, in order to reach over to bring forth the child that is hers. The heroic tales of Odysseus are with us, each ordinary day. This round woman is not going into battle, but she is going to the edge of her being where every resource she has will be called on to assist in this journey.
We need time and space to prepare for that journey. And somewhere, deep inside us, at a primal level, our cells and hormones and mind and soul know this, and begin the work with or without our awareness.
I call out Zwischen in prenatals as a way of offering comfort and, also, as a way of offering protection. I see how simple it is to exploit and abuse this time. A scheduled induction is seductive, promising a sense of control. Fearful and confused family can trigger a crisis of confidence. We are not a culture that waits for anything, nor are we believers in normal birth; waiting for a baby can feel like insanity. Giving this a name points her toward listening and developing her own intuition. That, in turn, is a powerful training ground for motherhood.
Today, I am waiting for a lovely new mother named Allison to call me, to announce that her Zwischen is ended and labor has begun. I am in my own in between place, waiting. My opportunity to grow and open is a lovely gift she gives me, in choosing me to attend her birth.”

October 26, 2021
New NICE induction of labour guidelines. Have we taken leave of our senses?
The National institute for clinical excellence (NICE) has published new draft guidelines for induction of labour. They are open for consultation until the 6th of July 2021.
The part that is most concerning is this:
Consider induction of labour from 39+0 weeks in women with otherwise uncomplicated singleton pregnancies who are at a higher risk of complications associated with continued pregnancy (for example, BMI 30 kg/m2 23 or above, age 35 years or above, with a black, Asian or minority ethnic family background, or after assisted conception).
You read that right. The new guidelines propose that everyone whose body mass index is over 30, above 35 years old, who is black, brown or any non white background, who have conceived through IVF, should all be induced at 39 weeks of pregnancy. I couldn’t help but wonder: how many people does this leave, who do not fall in these categories?
I had a look at the office of national statistics, to check what percentage of the population these groups represent together. I haven’t been able to find detailed enough data to remove overlaps between the groups. However, I have found the following:
- About 50% of pregnant women are classified as overweight or obese in the UK
- Black, brown and ethnic minorities represent about 10% of the UK population
- About 25% of babies born in the UK were conceived by IVF
- About 25% of babies born in the UK are from mothers over 35
I know that some of these categories overlap, but I’m guessing that not many people will still fall within the “low-risk” people being “allowed” to go into labour naturally if this guideline passes at it is. Especially as, in my experience, few people question the “guidelines” and apply them as if they were the law.
Worryingly the rate of induction has already just gone through a major rise. Since March 2020 many trusts have seen steep rise in induction (and cesarean) rates. (this is easy to find in the infographics shared from various trust pages on social media). In my local trust, the induction rate has gone from being between 25 and 30% prior to March 2020 to 39% in May 2021. Doesn’t it feel extremely odd to you that nearly 40% of the population already needs to have their labour artificially started? Isn’t it possible that this rise wasn’t justified by evidence, but rather by a knee jerk reaction to the covid crisis?
If the above guideline goes ahead as it is, what rates of induction are we going to see? Are we headed towards in a situation where everyone has their labour induced? How is this logical? How is this balanced? Have we taken leave of our senses?
The draft guidelines are open for consultation until the 6th of July 2021. If you wish to comment, you are welcome to copy and paste some of my comments to issue your own reply to the NICE consultation. Just email InducingLabourUpdate@nice.org.uk
Dr Sara Wickham has published an extensive blog about it too.
Dear Nice labour induction team
My name is Dr Sophie Messager. I am an ex biology research scientist turned doula and perinatal educator.
Over the last ten years in this role I have seen the rate of induction of labour in my local trust rise from 24% to 39% without an improvement in maternal or fetal outcomes.
What I have witnessed however, is that induction of labour often causes trauma for mothers and their partners. I have also witnessed time and time again that true informed decision rarely takes place because the majority of parents rarely get told what induction of labour entails (in primips often a 3 to 5 days process which ends up in a caesarean). They rarely get told that it is a choice (most get told “we’ll book you in for an induction”), and they also rarely get told of the risks that are involved in inducing labour (increased risk of caesarean birth and fetal distress amongst other things). I also see a lot of coercion in making sure people consent to having their labour induced, and in particular implying that the baby might die if they do not agree. I wrote in more details about it in this blog post.
Since March 2020, most hospitals trusts banned the access of partners to antenatal wards, only allowing them during established labour, I have witnessed women being induced for 5 days, alone in antenatal wards with no support from myself or their partners. This is dehumanising and traumatising for women and their partners.
Since March 2020, I have also seen rates of induction and caesarean rise by about 10% in many hospital trusts, with no evidence behind the change. In my local trust, the induction rates was 40% in May 2021, when it was between 25% and 30% prior to March 2020. Carrying out a survey of the rise of induction rates since 2020 across UK hospital trusts since March 2020, and the reasons behind them, and whether this rise improved outcomes or not would probably prove very informative. Surely the percentage of women who go into labour spontaneously has not decreased by 10% in less than a year?
I am worried that the people who are making the recommendation in the guidelines have no experience of supporting women and their partners in labour, and in particular, induced labour, or that if they do, they have no experience of what happens in the aftermath. Most health professionals only get to see people for a few days after birth, until they leave the hospital. Doulas and other private perinatal practitioners often support new families for weeks after birth, and they may be the only ones who truly understand how traumatising induction of labour can be, especially when the process hasn’t been communicated adequately ahead of time.
The draft guidelines state the following:
Consider induction of labour from 39+0 weeks in women with otherwise uncomplicated singleton pregnancies who are at a higher risk of complications associated with continued pregnancy (for example, BMI 30 kg/m2 23 or above, age 35 years or above, with a black, Asian or minority ethnic family background, or after assisted conception).
Yet the guidelines also state that “As there was no evidence to identify the optimal timing of induction in these groups, the committee made a research recommendation”.
I had a look at the office of national statistics, to check what percentage of the population these groups represent together. I haven’t been able to find detailed enough data to remove overlaps between the groups. However, I have found the following:
- About 50% of pregnant women are classified as overweight or obese in the UK
- Black, brown and ethnic minorities represent about 10% of the UK population
- About 25% of babies born in the UK were conceived by IVF
- About a quarter of all babies born in the UK are from mothers over 35
Which percentage of the population does this leaves that still falls within a low risk group? Has this been assessed as part of the drafting of the guideline?
If the draft guideline gets published as it is we are very likely to see a further rise in an already alarmingly high induction rate, and a concomitant rise in caesarean rate, as despite some flawed research claiming that induction of labour doesn’t increase caesarean rates, in practise (and according to some recent research), induction of labour usually leads to doubling of the rate of caesarean. See https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0301211521002463.
I am worried that we are headed for the same rates of caesarean as countries like Brazil or China (which are around 50%), without improvement in birth outcomes.
Experience and history (for example in the case of the Hannah breech birth trial) shows that when new guidelines like this one get published, they tend to get adopted widely without question within maternity care, and that, even when new evidence disproves the original results, it is very hard to get the system to change, because the belief about what is “normal” has become entrenched within maternity care.
The long term impact of a rise induction of labour on the health of the general population is this happens is greatly concerning. As concluded by the author of this study explains:
“IOL for non-medical reasons was associated with higher birth interventions, particularly in primiparous women, and more adverse maternal, neonatal and child outcomes for most variables assessed.“
More worryingly, there appears to have been no consultation of the interested party, i.e people having to undergo the actual induction of labour (women and their partners) in the drafting of this guideline.
I urge you to reconsider these guidelines, and in particular, ensure that a consultation of the experience of induction of labour for mothers and their partners takes place prior to any new recommendations being made. I would also like to see the long term physical and mental health implications for families and babies taken into account to balance the recommendation.
Regards
Dr Sophie Messager
July 5, 2021
Ten reasons to hire a doula even if she cannot be physically present during your birth
What’s the point of having a doula if she cannot be present physically during the birth? Aren’t doulas just mostly hired for their supporting presence during that special time?
Honestly when lockdown started in 2020 and hospitals in the UK introduced restrictions to one birth partner only, I asked myself the same question. I asked myself this question because despite having worked as a doula for over 8 years I had almost no experience of supporting labour remotely. I was utterly dismayed when I found out that I was no longer welcome in the hospital along the families I was already committed to supporting. Yet over the last 10 months, whilst I didn’t attend many births in person, I acquired a wealth of knowledge and experience in providing incredibly different forms of support in the forever changing rules in and out of lockdown. One thing that never changed for me locally is that my local hospital never relaxed the one partner only rule (I know that other hospitals in the country did things differently).
Interestingly, many couples still choose to hire me for support despite knowing that I may not be able to be present at their birth. I am already booked for several different families in 2021, and including some repeat clients. I’m totally honest with people and explain from the onset that it is unlikely that I’ll be able to be physically present during their birth, unless they birth at home. But in these challenging and unpredictable times, having the support of a doula can still make a world of positive difference to your experience of pregnancy, birth and the postpartum. I’ll make a separate blog post for postnatal doulaing after this one.
So what difference can a doula make even if she cannot be there with you at the birth?
- 1) Antenatal education and birth choices
In the extra challenging situation that lockdown and changing hospital policies bring, having someone to help you navigate your options is more important than ever. As your doula, I have an in depth knowledge of my local hospital policies, often being aware of policy change before members of the public. A doula can help you prepare for the unexpected and help you create birth plan that cover every possible eventuality that may present itself. It’s something doulas have always done, and I wrote a blog post called Why you may want to have a plan C (for cesarean) in your birth preferences.
- 2) Emotional support
Having someone you have gotten to know and trust, and who is always available at the end of the phone or email when you feel the need for support is even more important than before. In most trust there is no named midwife or a person you can contact directly within the health system at the best of times, but since March 2020, with the stretched NHS, this has become worse. Several of my clients said they left messages with weren’t returned. Just having someone you know you can call and talk to when you’ve worried about anything during your pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period, can make a world of difference to your wellbeing.
- 3) Knowledge and information
As before the pandemic, access to knowledge and information is a big part of doula support. There is a whole maze of information to navigate! Where will you have your baby, what kind of birth do you want, what if you cannot get your preferred choice, what are your rights, what’s the scientific evidence behind what you are being offered, what is right for you, yours and your family’s unique circumstances? I can help you access a whole network of people, from other health professional to complementary practitioners outside of the NHS, from osteopaths to complementary therapists to breastfeeding professionals.
I supported a family who wanted to have a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarean). They wanted to be in the local birth centre but had been told this wasn’t possible. They weren’t based in Cambridge, but through my network of birth workers, I obtained the details of the consultant midwife at their local hospital. They had a meeting with her and got granted access to the birth centre. They had a beautiful empowering waterbirth there.
I also supported a woman who was facing an induction of labour that she didn’t want or felt was justified. We had a chat over the phone and I reminded her of her rights to choose, ahead of a meeting with her consultant. I received a very grateful email afterwards explaining that she had felt much calmer and confident going into the meeting thanks to our chat, and that the meeting had gone very well. She went into labour naturally.
- 4) Practical support
I am skilled in many support techniques that can help make your pregnancy, labour and birth, and postpartum period more comfortable. I can teach them to you, or signpost you to someone who can support you if you aren’t local to me.
In 2020 several of my clients had breech babies, I was able to teach positional and rebozo breech turning techniques via video calls (I became very good at using a tripod to hold my device, and at contorsioning myself to demonstrate positions!) or in person. I was also able to signpost them to osteopaths who helped balance the pelvis so the baby had more chances to turn, or to acupuncturists who taught them how to do moxibustion. I also helped to access the information to help them decide whether having the baby turned manually (known as an external cephalic version) with an obstetrician was the right choice for them, as well as what would happen during the procedure/
- 5) Labour preparation
I can help you be prepared for what do expect during labour and birth, and decide what kind of comfort measures you’d like to use, and explore their pros and cons. I can teach you such comfort measures so you are feeling prepared and confident, even when I’m not physically present.
In 2020 I started writing custom relaxation scripts to help with things from promoting relaxation and confidence, to help turn a breech baby, to help labour start when due date had passed and an induction date was looming. I recorded myself as I lead expectant parents through those scripts and sent them the recording to listen to. One couple reported that they went into labour after listening to the “overdue” relaxation script I had sent them over and over again, and that the mother went into labour despite the pressures of the looming induction and had a very straightforward birth.
As well as teaching you some of the many comfort and relaxation measures for labour I know, I can teach the ones that suit you to your partner. This means that your partner will feel more confident in supporting you, that the two of you can work better together, and that you are both likely to have.
- 6) In person Labour support
As a doula, I’m still able to provide in person support in early labour at the couple’s home. This means that I can come and support you when labour starts, and help you feel comfortable, confident and safe. This means that you do not have to worry about when it is the right time to go to the hospital (or call the midwife if you’re having a homebirth). This means that there is a reassuring presence in the background. It can help both you and your partner feel much calmer and safe. It means that you are more likely to have a straightforward experience, especially if this is your first baby and you do not know what to expect or what is normal.
All hospitals still allow one partner, and I have supported families who chose to have me being present at the birth in the hospital, for example if the partner had to stay at home to care for older children.
- 7) Remote labour support
Because we will have gotten to know each other well, you’ll have come to trust me and feel safe with me. By the time you are in labour, knowing that there is something you can call at any hour of the day or night, and that I will be there
As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, I was myself unsure of what difference I could make remotely. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could still make a world of difference during labour.
I could join couples at home in early labour, I could be there on the phone or video calls in early or later labour. Because I had prepared the partner with extra techniques, when they called me describing a stall in labour, I was able to guide them through specific rebozo techniques designed to help resolve such issues with great success. I was still able to provide advocacy and help people navigate their options.
During a birth in 2020, a partner called me as labour had stalled and there were talks of moving to theatre. As I had taught him some of the most useful labour dystocia resolving techniques I know. After asking him a few specific questions I suggested a couple of positional and rebozo techniques. The baby was born vaginally 40 min later. Another partner called me telling me that his wife had been pushing for 2h, and that due to arbitrary limits on pushing duration from the hospital, transfer to the delivery unit was being strongly suggested. He asked if they could refuse. After asking if both mother and baby were well, I reminded him that it was their decision to make. The baby was born in the birth centre pool 20 min later.
A challenging time last year was when I had to watch a woman that I had previously supported as a doula 3 times before, walk into the hospital alone for her planned cesarean birth (my local trust currently only allows partners in the ward as they go into theatre, so the mother is alone in the antenatal ward until she gets called to go to theatre). I went to meet her in front of the hospital. I thought I hadn’t made a difference but later one she said “It definitely helped to still have you as my doula in lockdown as it was really lovely and comforting to know you were just at the end of the phone for a chat or advice. It was also lovely to see you outside the hospital before I went in, and to talk to you in the evening about the birth”.
Zelle the doula shared this account of supporting a birth over the phone (you can read the whole story here)
“It feels like she’s wrenched the phone out of her husband’s hand, as her eyes lock on to mine “Zelle!” she breathes as a surge crashes like wave over her “Zelle-I-really-need-an-epidural” she scrunches her face up “I can’t CAN’T do thissss”. I am calm. An even tone. The bit I wish I was there for, because I would stroke her hair out of her face and be gentle with her poor tired body and be slow and gentle and grounding. I have to do it all with my voice instead. “A,” I say. “You are so strong. You are magnificent. This is transition, that hard bit we talked about. This feeling will leave.” I’m conscious of the fact the adrenaline will kick in momentarily. ” You know what to do. Your body knows this. You’ve been in labour a *long* time. It’s a lot of hard work. There’s no shame in an epidural if you want one. But you’re wrong on one point, A, you CAN do this. I completely believe with every fibre of my being that you can do this. I believe in you.” She shoves the phone back in to her husband’s hand. “I CAN do this!” she breathes. I am so proud I wipe tears away.”
- 8) Navigating the unexpected
If anything happens during pregnancy, birth or the postpartum you can rest assured that I will be there to help you navigate the situation. From labour starting early or labour, or a sudden diagnostic of a medical situation which changes your birth choices, I have supported these kinds of scenarios for the last 8 years and I know how much of a difference it makes to have someone by your side to help you find out how to make the best of it.
- 9) Postnatal preparation
Postnatal preparation and support is one of my favourite topics. I feel it is so important that I wrote a book about it, called Why postnatal recovery matters. As your doula, I can help you prepare for the postpartum, be it the immediate few hours post birth in the hospital or at home (including how to prepare for the fact that most partners may not allowed to visit postnatally in the hospital), or the later parts from coming home with your baby, from feeding choices to parenting choices. As part of my contract you get 6 weeks of unlimited phone and email support after the birth of your baby.
- 10) Postnatal support
After your baby is born, especially if you are alone in a postnatal ward without your partner, or if you have your partner but medical staff is too busy to help support you, I can do call or video calls as soon as you need me to help answer any needs you may have. I have become skilled at provided feeding help over video calls, either myself or putting you in touch with breastfeeding counselors, who have also become very skilled at providing feeding support over video calls. More in my next blog on postnatal support during lockdown.
Finally, here is a story from a mother I supported in 2020:
“It would be easy to feel like pandemic restrictions preventing extra birth partners would make hiring a doula pointless. After all, if they can’t be at the birth, why bother, right? I might have felt the same, if it weren’t for our experience of growing and birthing our daughter in 2020 with Sophie’s help.
When the pandemic hit, and suddenly even my husband wasn’t allowed in to scans or appointments. Secondary birth partners were banned from births completely. These restrictions still hadn’t been eased by July, when I unexpectedly entered prodromal labour at 36 weeks gestation. After a week of contractions at home that weren’t getting any more frequent, I entered the hospital to have my labour artificially progressed. I laboured, for large parts alone, for five further days, before finally delivering my daughter by c-section (or belly birth, as I like calling it!). Again, even getting my husband into hospital to support me was a fight. The presence of a doula was a complete non-starter.
So do I regret hiring Sophie? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
If anything, I am MORE grateful we did because of COVID. More than ever, being asked to navigate the labyrinth of the maternity care system is a nearly impossible challenge women are being asked to undertake. Especially in a pandemic, alone. I have no idea how I would have begun to survive it without the preparation Sophie did with us, and the support she still managed to provide both during and after our birth.
I had the space I needed to process rather than internalise my grief. I had the planning and preparation I needed to take care of myself both during and after the birth. I had the support I needed to bring my baby home to an overjoyed family that was ready to receive her. I had the confidence to know I can be and am exactly the mother she needs. I was left so in awe of the work of doulas that I’m becoming one. ” Elle.
If you’d like to read more about this topic, I wrote a blog called The Value of a doula, one called What do you get when you hire a doula, or why she’s totally worth the money, one about how a doula can support you if you are having a planned cesarean birth, and one called The incredible things doulas do to support their clients. Whilst these were written before 2020, much of what I explain in them still applies.
If this resonates with you and you would like to work with me, I offer education and support for families and birthworkers in the form of one to one support, and online courses.
January 19, 2021
Why I wrote my book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters

Play

October 13, 2020
A little bit of background about rebozos and their use to support women
I was introduced to the art of using the traditional Mexican shawl called the rebozo back in 2013 when I attended a workshop by doula Stacia Smales Hill on rebozo use for labour and birth. During the same year I also attended a workshop by Dr Rocio Alarcon, who taught a postnatal massage technique called closing the bones, some elements of which included rocking and binding with a rebozo.
Over the course of the following years I pursued my knowledge further by doing several more workshops with Rocio, and several other rebozo workshops with different focuses, such as the rebozo for labour progress and malposition with Selina Wallis, micromovements with Francoise Freedman, 2 different spinning babies with Jennifer Walker and Gail Tully, and a workshop on healing diastasis recti with Birthlight which included many rebozo techniques.
I am also a babywearing instructor, and as such use rebozos and wraps to carry babies too.
As I started teaching workshops around closing the bones and rebozo work as well as babywearing, the incredibly versatile use of the cloth really blew my mind.
As I met people through teaching, I constantly questioned people I met about their culture’s practises, I started to build a picture in my mind of something much more universal than the rebozo.
It seems that every culture had a piece of cloth of some kind, call it a shawl, a sarong, a scarf, or a wrap.
Whilst the rebozo is a traditional shawl from Mexico and some South American countries, I found that other cultures used different pieces of cloths in the same fashion.
Cold countries often us thick, woollen fabrics (think Welsh Shawl or Scottish plaid), and warmer countries, cooler, thin, cotton fabric (think African Kanga or Indonesian Sarong).
There are almost too many fabrics to count, but one thing is for sure, women have used all sorts of cloths in incredibly versatile ways, and what I’m going to say below about the rebozo is true for many other cultures too. It’s a truly universal practise.
I spent a few years believing that the use of the rebozo during labour was uniquely South American but I have since met a Somalian midwife who told me how they use their traditional shawl, called a Garbasar, in a similar way during labour. Supporting a pregnant woman from the same country confirmed this, and in fact her mother even showed me how it is used to bind the abdomen post birth.
I trained a Moroccan birth worker in doing closing the bones, and she was surprised when she started offering the massage that women came forward and told her they’d had a similar treatment in the local hammam (Steam bath/wet room) after birth (using a traditional Moroccan cloth called a Mendil). Tunisia offers a similar practise called a fouta massage (the fouta is a hammam towel, which is very similar in nature to the Turkish towel-it has become a very popular alternative to beach towels in France recently).
I am lucky to be part of a multicultural family, being French and married to a man from Hong Kong. In Hong Kong I’ve been told they use a long piece of muslin cloth to bind the woman’s hips and abdomen after birth, and my mother in law showed me how the midwifes taught her to wrap her belly with a towel post birth.
It’s also quite fascinating to see how contact with foreign cultures can influence each other. For example I recently acquired a Dutch postpartum girdle called a Sluitlaken. I couldn’t help but notice how similar to Indonesian postpartum binding it looks, then a friend pointed out than Holland used to have Indonesian colonies!
So, what can you do with a rebozo (or a scarf of shawl)?
Pretty much all cultures on the planet, some kind of cloth is used to cradle and carry a baby. In some cultures is used to rock and soothe the baby too. Rocking is such a primal rhythm we all experienced it in our mother’s womb, that we find it soothing all through our lives. Even in Europe there are pictures of women wearing their babies in Welsh shawls which date from the 1940s.
Later, when the baby grew into a toddler and child, she would use the cloth to dress up, pretend play (including carrying toys and/or animals, pretending to carry a baby), make a den etc.
As the child grew into a young woman she would use the cloth as a shawl to keep warm, as a clothing accessory, a blanket, to carry siblings ( in traditional cultures women learn baby care from a very young age as they tend to live with extended families), and to carry loads on her back or head.
Later still when she became a woman, she might have been given her own shawl as part of a menarche ceremony. She might have worn a special cloth on her wedding day.
When she became pregnant, she would have used the shawl to support her belly, and her midwives would have used it to alleviate the aches and pains of pregnancy, and maybe to help the baby move into the best position for birth.
During labour she would have used the shawl to hang from, to pull on, and her birth attendants would have used it to provide comfort measures, such as sifting, rocking, shaking, and wrapping.
After the birth she would have had a “baby moon”. Again this is something pretty much universal in the world-women the world around have been alleviated from household tasks and cared for by family members for the first 30 to 40 days postpartum. During this time they would rest so they could recover from growing and birthing their baby and get to know their baby and learn to care for them. Her birth attendants and the community of women would have come to feed her nourishing food, and help her body heal from the pregnancy and birth by using a combination of their hands, massage techniques and using the cloth to help move and bind her hips and abdomen to help them back into place. In the West we used to have this practise called “churching” whereby the new mother was expected to rest for a month before rejoining the community and be welcome back during a special blessing at the church (you can read about it here). The research I have done for my upcoming book “Why postnatal recovery matters” has also shown me that the rest AND the binding still used to be part of the UK culture, less than 70 years ago.
She then would have start to use the cloth to carry her baby and start the cycle all over again.
Later as she grew old, her family members would have used the cloth to rock and soothe aches and pain.
Women would have been buried with their shawl using it as a shroud.
So you see, a traditional cloth, rebozo, shawl or cloth can be used to support a woman throughout her whole life. It is a universal phenomenon on our planet.
As the shawl came out of fashion and modern practises like using pushchairs became seen as more fashionable and desirable, this skill was soon lost, and because like most traditional women-only practises, it was just passed on orally rather than written about, the knowledge was lost very quickly, in one or two generations. We also tend to embrace “modern” practises mindlessly, seeing traditional ones as backwards and old fashioned.
Mexican and Chinese friends tell me that nobody wants to use the traditional shawl or carrier these days as only remote farmers or beggars still use them.
This is something that we need to reclaim and teach all women, as it is part of the essence of women circles and supporting women through life transitions.
This is why I am so passionate about passing this skills to both expectant and new mothers, and to anybody who works with expectant and new mothers. It is our birthright!
You can learn more about the Rebozo and its many wonderful uses to support pregnancy, birth and the postpartum in my online rebozo course.
(This is an update from a blog I published originally in 2018)
If you have found this blog helpful and would like to support my work and help me continue provide valuable free information to birthworkers and expectant and newborn families, you can donate to my paypal account paypal.me/SophieMessager.
May 10, 2020
Rebozo techniques for relaxation during uncertain times
I’m seeing a lot of understandably anxious pregnant women since the beginning of the Covid-19 crisis. What will happen to my appointments and when I go into labour? Will I have to give birth alone? What will happen after the birth?
I’ve tried to address as many of these questions in this blog about pregnancy and the pandemic, this one about postnatal recovery, and this one about online support.
But I’d also like to offer a simple practical way to relax that you may not know about.
A rebozo is a traditional Mexican shawl, which, besides being used as an item of clothing, is use to provide great comfort by rocking, jiggling and wrapping a woman’s body, especially during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum.
I’ve been using rebozos for 7 years, as well as teaching the techniques to parents and birthworkers.
I have had so many mind blowing experience using rebozos shawls and scarves in my work to support women through pregnancy, birth, the postpartum and beyond, I’m on a mission to pass on this skill to ask many people as possible.
What the rebozo does, by gently rocking and wrapping you, is calm you right down and bring you back to you body.
As a species we exist in two extreme opposite states: the fight or flight, and the rest and relaxation stage.
Right now, understandably, many of you are stuck in the fight or flight state. It’s made worse by the fact that you literally cannot “flight” because we are all stuck at home.
The simple techniques I describe in this blog are incredibly effective, yet super simple to do, and anybody can do them. You don’t even need a rebozo to do them, something simple like a scarf or a pashmina will do.
Here are 3 simple relaxation techniques you can use during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period (or at any other time! These aren’t limited to pregnancy-anybody regardless of gender or age can benefit from their relaxing effect).
Self-care technique
- A quick 5 min “reboot” to get you out of your head and into a more relaxed state
- This is an easy routine to warm and loosen your muscles. It is especially helpful if your energy could do with a boost or if you feel stiff from having sat down for too long (especially after working at a computer), or if you feel anxious or stressed. The technique starts with some shoulder stretches, followed by a shoulder, back and buttocks rub, and finishes with a foot rub. After doing this quick and easy routine you may find that you feel happier, warmer, more relaxed, and more energised 🙂
Play
Wrapping the shoulders
- Wrap the rebozo or scarf around the shoulders, cross the ends, then gently tighten and hold. This can be done standing up, sitting down, or lying down. It is a very calming and grounding technique, because the gentle tightening around the ribcage encourages you to breathe deeper into your belly.
Play

Rocking the pelvis
- This consists in wrapping the rebozo or scarf around the pelvis, then gently rocking the pelvis. This can also be done with the woman resting her back or arms against a wall for support, as well as lying down on the floor, or sitting on a couch.
Play
This is a taster version of the full version of my self-study rebozo ebook, or in my rebozo online course. If you would like to buy a rebozo, I have them in my online shop.
If you have found this blog helpful and would like to support my work and help me continue provide valuable free information to birthworkers and expectant and newborn families, you can donate to my paypal account paypal.me/SophieMessager.
March 24, 2020

Your basket (items: 0)

Products in basket
Product	Details	Total
	Available on back-order Previous price: Discounted price:	Save