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Sophie Messager

Author: Sophie Messager

  • The birth cycle as a blueprint for a joyful life and business

    The birth cycle as a blueprint for a joyful life and business

    As the end of year draws near and we are encouraged to make plans for the next year, I feel a familiar pang of resistance and guilt around this. This isn’t new and I have reflected on it several times before.

    I think I feel this discomfort for two reasons: one, it doesn’t feel quite right energetically. Two, I do not feel that planning for the whole year is something that works for me.

    Winter, energetically, is not the right time to make plans and goals for the New Year. Winter time feels, to me, like a time to retreat inwards, instead of springing forward.

    Planning, as in writing goals and set targets feels too much like a masculine way of thinking. I prefer a more feminine energetic approach, by first sinking into what I’d like to feel and dream about and tuning into my vision for myself and the coming year, before I can start to pen it down.

    I’d like to introduce you to the idea of using the cycle of birth to run your life and business.

    Whether it’s something you want more of in your life, or a new business project of goal you want to apply, the principle is the same.

    The Birth cycle contains 4 distinct phases: Conception, Pregnancy, Birth, and the postpartum.

    Conception is the dreaming phase. It is the time during which you call upon the spirit about what you’d like to do, achieve or change in your life. It is the seed. In energetic terms, it is like winter, the energy where we are right now. It is going inwards, tuning in, and resting. It is visioning and imagining what might be.

    Pregnancy is growing the dream and giving it form. It also happens in stages, like the 3 trimesters of pregnancy. The form is tiny at first, and the shape in undefined, then it fleshes out and grows. In energetic terms it is similar to spring, with new growth and energies rising up. You can use the model of the 3 trimesters are 3×3 monthly stages of the growth of your project in different stages.

    Labour and birth are the final stages of the growing process, when the idea/project is completed and gets released into the world. Energetically is it like summer, when the energies are high, and when nature’s bounty is plentiful and we are reaping the rewards of our planting.

    Postpartum is the rest after the pregnancy, labour and birth, when one replenishes one’s energy after all this growth, energy spending and effort. Energetically it is like Autumn, when the leaves fall from the tree and energy starts going inwards once more, before a new dreaming state and before the cycle can start again. It is also a time to reflect on the process and learn from it.

    If you’d like to start with your dreaming now, my friend Dina shares some ideas in this blog post.

    I will share more over the next few weeks, as I reflect on the 2021 and staff to dream about 2022, including some of the techniques I use to dream and vision what might be.

     

  • Why I write a Ta-da list

    Why I write a Ta-da list

    At the end of each week I write a “Ta-da” list.

    It’s a quick review list of all the things I have done that week. It usually only takes me 5 min to write. I start in the same order that I start my to-do list, which is write the self care activities first (I call it Connection tasks), and then the work tasks, and I also include important family related tasks.

    As I wrote the one for last week, I was fascinated to notice that, yet again, I had forgotten all the many things I had done work and family wise that week.

    I think I do this because it’s easy to just focus on what I’m not doing. After all, there are always more tasks to do, and the list is never completed.

    I think this is also because from childhood we are conditioned to associate productivity with worth.

    I’ve been writing such lists for nearly a year now.

    Yet, every week I’m still surprised that I had not realized how much I’d done and achieved that week until I wrote it down.

    As I reflected on last week I wrote: no wonder I felt tired and a bit overwhelmed!

    I recommend trying it, as it really shifts your focus from beating yourself up about all the stuff you’re done doing, to patting yourself on the back for having done many things.

    Here’s what I did last week

    • My connection activities for the week: Drumming in the woods x2, pool swim and river swim, 5rhythms dancing session, family pizza night.
    • Monday: Taught a postnatal massage course in London (a 15h day)
    • Tuesday: Took a day of mostly rest on Tuesday (still did a bit of work that really needed to be done)
    • Wednesday: Had an admin day, planned things that needed to happen later that week (a mother blessing and a closing the bones photoshoot), answered emails, had a couple of zoom meetings, got my car clutch repaired, and attended a 90 min online course session.
    • Thursday : A long antenatal appointment with a client, some admin work, prepped equipment for photoshoot.
    • Friday : Photoshoot (took half a day), and downloading pictures and videos, and packing all the equipment for mother blessing.
    • Saturday: Ran a mother blessing.
    • Sunday: Rested and hung out with my family.
  • Resting after intense work is a necessity not a luxury

    Resting after intense work is a necessity not a luxury

    Today I’ve mostly spent the day wearing a fluffy onesie and lounging on the sofa.

    I made a mental note to only do the absolute bare minimum of what I absolutely had to do work wise.

    Why did I do this? I’m not ill or anything like that.

    I just needed to rest.

    Yesterday I facilitated a postnatal recovery massage workshop in London with a group of birthworkers. It is was an exhilarating day, but also a long physically and mentally demanding one.

    I got up at 5am, put all the stuff in Teddy’s car, we drove to London with all the gear (5 massage tables, covers, blankets, and many rebozos and other teaching bits), carried all the gear up to the studio, set up the room ready, welcomed the students, ran the course and held the space for everyone, packed everything up, carried it back to the car, drove back to Cambridge, and carried everything back to my house. I got home at 8pm and I was in bed by 9h30.

    It you’ve trained with me you’ll know that I put a lot of energy, love and work in my teaching, so it is probably no wonder that I need to rest.

    It has taken me over 8 years of self employment, some deep self discovery, and working with various mentors to understand the need to balance work and rest.

    In the past I used to plough on after a day or two of facilitating workshops (and I used to run 2 or 3 a months prior to 2020). Then I wondered why I felt cranky and why my productivity and mood took a nose dive.

    Now, after such a intense day I make a mental note to have a very quiet day afterwards. To refill my cup. To not do much at all.

    I still hear a little voice in my head that tells me to keep going (the programming is strong!), but I listen to my body, and my body is telling me very loudly to take it easy.

    The main reason I listen to my body’s wisdom is that I have learnt the hard way that if I ignore it, then I’ll pay the price for several days, achieve not much at all, feel unhappy about my lack of productivity, and beat myself up about it. So it makes a lot of sense to rest and recover. Athletes do it after a marathon after all.

    It’s not just my body that needs rest, it’s my soul.

    I give a lot of myself during this workshop. A lot of physical and spiritual energy.

    It does make my heart sing. But I also need to honour the toll it takes on me.

    As I get older, I notice that I need more recovery time, and also a more time alone and in quieter spaces, after spending time with people.

    It was very helpful to have a human design reading with Bingz Huang recently, because she highlighted this very thing in my design, that I have the Hermit/Opportunist profile. This means that I need alone time after being with people. It felt very true and validating to hear this.

  • Preparing for the postpartum : it works!

    Preparing for the postpartum : it works!

    In the West, after a new mother has her baby, the focus shifts entirely on the baby, and the mother receives very little support. This is not normal for our species to be in this situation, and everywhere around the world, there is, or used to be, a period of about a month post birth when new mothers were treated like goddesses, supported, fed, and nurtured by the community and didn’t lift a finger!

    I wrote my book, why postnatal recovery matters, to raise awareness about the lack of support new mothers get during the postpartum in the UK, and to offer practical solutions to change this.

    I suggested in the book that we prepare for the postpartum like we do for birth: by writing a postnatal recovery plan, using the four pillars of the postpartum (social support, rest, food and bodywork) as a blueprint.

    Since the book was published, and the feedback I have received, I can report that preparing for the postpartum is not only worthwhile, but it works!

    The message in the book is doing exactly what I hope it would do, which is help families prepare for the postpartum, get more support, and have a better experience all round. In fact it has gone further than my wildest expectations in how it has positively impacted families.

    It has also helped many families who didn’t have a great experience the first time have a much better one for their next one.

    It has not only transformed the lives of many new mothers, but it has also transformed how I support the postpartum myself, because I now talk about it antenatally. I have also run a lot more mother blessings (a mother centred version of the baby showers), during which I have asked people to pledge support for the new mother in the 4 pillars above).

    Here are some of the things that have been shared with me:

    • Several people have told me that, rather than buying gifts for the baby, they have decided to organise food deliveries for the new parents instead.
    • A new mother I’m supporting as a doula, and for whom I organized a mother blessing, shared that food parcels keep turning up on her doorstep.
    • “After reading the book, I felt much less guilty about letting other people look after me this time around”
    • “I am so grateful for someone finally voicing how I felt as a new mother, but couldn’t put into words myself. We are living in very different times from when (even) our parents gave birth, and the recommendations of this book could not be more relevant to new families now – and especially those struggling with loneliness and isolation due to COVID related restrictions.”
    • “I bought your book, read it and passed it on to my daughter. Wow! It has made such an impact on her as she plans ahead. As she suffers with OCD and anxiety, your book gives her the tools so she knows how she can plan ahead and manage others‘ expectations. For example she has made a list of ways in which supporters (as oppose to visitors) can help during the postpartum.”
    • “Reading it has made my recovery after having my 4th baby so much easier and relaxed. Without the guilt that I should be doing more. I also feel that my bond with my baby was better, I suffered with depression and anxiety which came on during pregnancy.”
    • “It helped me see what I could have done differently after my first child was born and made me feel so much more confident in preparing for number two. I had never even considered some of the ideas she presents for post-natal recovery, but after reading about them I realized that they sound like just what I need.“
    • “I ordered this book 3 weeks before my due date hoping this would help. I read it in 2 days and was able to action some of the advice straight away. I love that is it so readable and go to the point, and above all that is written in such a kind, gentle, non-judgemental way. It really helped me to reframe my expectations for these first few weeks/months after birth”
    • “Sophie Messager writes with such empathy for new mothers that I found her words hit me in a very raw place. She has put her finger on a particular type of pain that (in my experience) has gone unrecognised. Her simple validation that for weeks after giving birth, a mother needs and deserves rest, attentive care, reverence, good food, emotional and physical holding and nurturing by others and by society, is profoundly moving and not rocket science”

    If you want to learn more about this topic, I have a whole host of resources available:

    Free resources like my postnatal recovery plan template, and many blogs on the topics.

    My book, why postnatal recovery matters, which costs £10 including UK postage.

    The book is also available in French (Mères nouvelles, traditions ancestrales : Restaurer les rituels de soin du post-partum), in Italian (Il Postparto,Cosa serve a una neomamma), and German (Was im Wochenbett wichtig ist).

    You can read why I wrote the book in this blog post. This page has all the clickable links from the book available for free

    My online course, How to prepare for a nurturing postpartum, is for birthworkers and families who want to take a more in depth journey in how to prepare, or help others prepare, for a nurturing postpartum. Read about what’s special about it in this blog post.

    And, because bodywork seems to be the most neglected aspect of the postpartum, I have created an online course on postnatal rebozo massage and closing ritual. You can read why I created this course in this blog post.

  • The postnatal recovery massage: a modern adaptation of a traditional ritual to nurture new mothers

    The postnatal recovery massage: a modern adaptation of a traditional ritual to nurture new mothers

    Since January 2019, I have taught a new postnatal massage called the postnatal recovery massage, together with osteopath Teddy Brookes.

    I want to tell you the history behind why and how we created this massage.

    It is very much needed, because in the Western world we no longer offer bodywork as standard to help new mothers heal during the postpartum. Yet, given the tremendous changes a woman’s body undergoes during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum, this is absolutely crazy. Read more on that in this blog post. https://sophiemessager.com/why-postnatal-bodywork-matters/

    The seed for this massage (and my book, Why postnatal recovery matters which includes a chapter on postpartum bodywork) was planted when I learnt the closing the bones massage, a traditional postpartum massage from South America, in 2013. People asked if I could teach them so I created a workshop and starting teaching it to birthworkers.

    It grew organically and together with a couple of other doulas, I ended up training over 500 people in offering this amazing nurturing ritual. I shared this knowledge in the hope to change the face of the postnatal support, towards a more mother centered and nurturing time.

    I have a theme in my professional life, in that almost always end up teaching stuff because people ask me to. Since discovering the Human design system, it makes sense to me because it is in my design to respond.

    After a few years of teaching closing the bones, more and more people who had trained with me asked if it would be possible to provide a version of the massage on a massage table instead of on the floor, because they had bad knees, or bad backs, and found working on the floor difficult.

    I’d learnt a lot from practicing the massage on my local osteopath friend Teddy Brookes (he provided all the anatomical and effectiveness knowledge for the closing the bones workshop handout, and therefore already knew the technique inside out), so it made sense that I asked him asking if he liked the idea of helping me develop a massage table version of the ritual.

    Teddy was enthusiastic about the idea and we started working on it in 2017. We are both perfectionists and it took us over a year and many sessions of practice and trial and error to get it right.

    At the beginning, I wanted to create the exact same treatment on the table as we did on the floor. However, the biomechanics of doing something from the side rather than standing over the person, meant that some things simply couldn't be done in the same way.

    Some techniques worked mechanistically but didn't feel good so we discarded them. It was at times a frustrating, but mostly an exciting exploration and experience and a huge learning curve for me, especially as Teddy also educated me on how to position and use my body for more power, less effort, and increases effectiveness around the table.

    As we progressed we also ended up modifying and adding several elements to the massage based on my experience of body changes in the postpartum that weren't treated as part of the original massage. For example I had noticed that new mothers often had flared ribs post birth, as well as hunched shoulders from feeding and holding their baby, so we added some new techniques to treat these.

    In the end we ended up with a massage which, whilst inspired from the original technique, was really quite different.  We named it the Postnatal Recovery Massage (PRM).

    We had our first practice on a group of birthworkers and therapists in Autumn 2018, and they all loved it.

    We started teaching it in January 2019. As of now we have run 10 workshops and trained 90 people in offering this massage! As our 11th workshop is planned for this month we are hoping to reach 100 trainees who can offer this amazing nurturing treatment to new mothers.

    Here is some feedback from people who have attended the workshop:

    ” This new version of the postnatal ceremony blends effective rebozo (shawl) massage techniques and lymphatic drainage massage to support post natal mamas. Rather fabulous it is too!” Emma Kenny, Massage therapist.

    “One of the reasons I like the massage that you have developed for the table as it feels like a modern way of adapting the traditional massage. It feels like a new technique, a therapists technique. I also like being able to connect to the anatomical benefits. I want to practise giving the massage and feel newly inspired.” Katie Oliffe, Doula

    “What a wonderful, professional, well constructed and instructive course with plenty of time for step by step practical, complemented by Teddy’s expertise and Sophie’s organic shamanism and such a wonderful community of like minded body workers. Thank you. Thoroughly recommended” Jenni Tribe, Therapist

    “Thank you so much for an informative and inspiring day. I can’t wait to use the techniques on my clients and support women more effectively. You are doing an amazing work and I’m so grateful ad excited to be part of it!” Grace Lillywhite, Pilates teacher.

    “I loved this course. It is just as nurturing as the closing the bones massage but much easier to do. Sophie and Teddy worked amazingly well together” Michelle Parkin, doula.

    “The course was well organised, very informative and easy to follow. The level of practical support was fantastic and I feel confident to take what I have learnt and help local women postnatally. Thank you!” Becki Scott, doula and massage therapist.

    “Amazing workshop! Loved being in a small group to work through techniques in enough details. As an osteopath this experience has been invaluable in improving my practise if postnatal patient , in fact all of my patients!” Rob Ballard, osteopath

    ” The massage is a wonderful reworking of the traditional Closing The Bones massage performed on a couch rather than the floor. Sophie and Teddy have taken all that is special about it and fused her energy-work approach with his osteopathic technique to create something extraordinary. It incorporates binding, rocking, jiggling and specific tension releases, with massage of the chest, abdomen and pelvis with warming oil. It is truly a celebration of the postpartum body!” Charlotte Filcek, doula.

    “The tutoring, the technique, the group, just exceptional!” Alison Duff, therapist and therapy centre owner.

    Here is a short video showing what happens during the workshops:

    Play

  • Why we have calluses on our hearts

    Why we have calluses on our hearts

    You know when you do some gardening; you get calluses on your hands? I believe our society causes us to have calluses on our hearts.

    It starts with birth, with families being bullied through a system that treats them like machines and disregards their emotional needs.

    It starts with separating mothers and babies. By disrupting the release of the love hormone, Oxytocin, and the bonding process.

    It starts with a culture that encourages parents to ignore their instincts, and disregard their baby’s needs for closeness and nurture, lest they will never become “independent”.

    It starts with a society that sees punishing a small sign as a sign of strength and good parenting. A society that tells parents to “ignore bad behaviours”.

    It continues at school, where beautiful unique souls are pushed and formatted, and expected to “be good”, sit still and do as they are told. TA place where there is control in the form of rewards and punishment, mostly punishment.

    Later, it carries on within employment, where there is no trust, and where the carrot and stick culture continues. Where you get punished the moment you make a mistake. Where a culture of bullying pervades. Where whistleblowers are removed instead of addressing the issues they pointed at.

    It’s no wonder perhaps that we develop calluses on our hearts. These calluses do not just disconnect us from ourselves; they disconnect us from each other. They remove the ability to experience compassion, and the sense of interconnectedness that is so essential to our wellbeing.

    How to we change this?

    We change this by listening to our instincts, whether it is during the journey to become parents, during birth, by parenting from a place of gentle nurturance and respect.

    We change this by reconnecting to our hearts. By acknowledging the presence of the calluses and treating them with tenderness.  By acknowledging them in ourselves, and by acknowledging them in others.

    Above all, we change this by starting to listen to our hearts (rather than our heads).

    We change this by reconnecting to our hearts. And by reconnecting to the knowing in our hearts.

    It is my belief that humanity is at the cusp of a major transformation. That we are leaving the era of head based knowledge, and that the way forward is heart based.

    How do you start to reconnect with your heart?

    It’s easy.

    You know about connecting with your breath? Next time you connect to your breath, imagine that you are breathing through your heart.

    Next time you face a dilemma, or need the answer to a question, or need to ask yourself whether something feels right or not, drop into your body, and feel what the options feel like, in your heart.

    Teach yourself to recognise your heart’s yes or no response to situations or questions. Drop in. Does it feel open, soft, warm? Does it feel closed, heart, cold? Your body knows. Your heart knows.

    The Heartmath institute has many resources on how to connect to one’s heart, including this short animated meditation video.

     

  • Do you confuse productivity with effort?

    Do you confuse productivity with effort?

    Do only feel that you are “working” when it feels like hard work?

    At the end of each week I do a “ta-da” list. Often as I reflect on my week, I notice that I often forget to include one to one session with clients as part of my “work” .

    I believe that the reason I forget to count these sessions is because sessions with clients (in this case, several pregnant or new families I supported), do not feel like an effort. These sessions do not feel like an effort because I love supporting families. These sessions feel like a magical time out of time, where I’m at my best, holding space for someone whilst their own journey unfolds. During these sessions, I’m in a state of flow. It feels effortless and joyful.

    I had an epiphany as I realized this : we live in a culture that equates success with hard work, with effort. The underlying idea is that there has to be some level of strenuousness to the effort for it to be counted as “work”. That we have to flog ourselves to push through unpleasantness for it to count. It is part of the system of education we have grown up in, and of the system that our children are in. A system that equals demanding effort= praiseworthy, and also behind it that whatever is easy has less value.

    When I did my antenatal education diploma, I was amazed to discover that I had unconsciously internalized the idea that learning had to be “serious”. As I discovered the science of learning, I realized that mainstream education had it all wrong, and that we learnt much better when having fun. The internalized aspect is so strong that I felt the need to start every single one of my antenatal courses with a disclaimer explaining why I’d make the group do all the work in an interactive, fun way, instead of lecturing them.

    The same is true of undoing the misconception that hard work is the only valuable way to achieve something. There is much to say about working within a state of joy, flow and ease. Since I started applying this principle, I have found that not only is my work more joyful, but opportunities seem to flow towards me more easily as well.

    I have come to think of it this way: we exist in two extreme states, much like the fight or flight versus rest and relaxation state. We are either closed, rigid and hard, or open, playful and soft.

    Magic happens from the second state. There is no room for anything in the closed, hard, rigid state.

    Next time you catch yourself in this state, sink into your body and ask yourself how your body feels when you are in that state. Try to soften and open your heart and see what your work feels like from there.

     

  • Stressed? Overwhelmed? Try grounding.

    Stressed? Overwhelmed? Try grounding.

    If you are finding what’s happening in your life or the world overwhelming, I’m sure you know about breathing and meditation as tools for wellbeing (and you might have tried them and found that they do not work for you) but have you heard about grounding?

    Grounding is simply using techniques to come back into your body, where you can process things better rather than when stuck in the thoughts in your head. You can ground yourself literally, by connecting yourself to the earth, literally, or by visualization or movement. It works because it brings you back to your body, and out of the stressed thoughts in your mind.

    How can you do it?

    • Literal grounding means putting your body in contact with the earth. Grounding is the earthing of our own energy to the energy field of the Earth. There is some really cool science behind it. We know that earthing helps people heal faster, having measurable effects on inflammation, the immune response, wound healing, and prevention and treatment of chronic inflammatory and autoimmune diseases. See this paper for example.  There is also evidence that it reduces stress.
    • If you want to learn more, the earthing movie is fantastic and covers much of the research, some of which really blew my mind. They also have a bunch of articles on the topic.
    • The easiest (and cheapest) way to to earth your body is to put your bare feet on the grass or soil. My favourite way to do it is to do some year round wild swimming, because it provides a deeper, whole body experience.
    • My favourite way to do a full body grounding is wild swimming. I do it year round (about to do my fourth winter) and you can read about that here.
    • If bare feet on the ground or swimming in cold water doesn’t appeal or if you live somewhere where this might be difficult, there are companies selling grounding mats that plug into the earthing part of electric sockets, for example Grounding Mats and Groundology. Some of the published research that demonstrates faster wound healing for example, was done using such mats in a hospital setting.

    Less literal grounding, as in coming back into your body can be achieved in several ways.

    • Using visualization. A simple visualization to achieve it is the tree meditation. It goes like this: Stand up, close your eyes, give your body and mind a quick scan (how do you feel etc). Then imagine that you are a tree. Visualise the tree in as many details as you can. Then, with each out breath, imagine that you are growing your roots deep into the earth. That’s it! do this for a couple of minutes, then scan yourself again. Be prepared to be amazed at the difference!
    • Using mindful movement. For example going for a walk and paying attention to what you see and feel (bonus if it’s in nature, especially somewhere with trees, because forest bathing also has cool published health benefits behind it).
    • Another sure way of bringing yourself back to your body is to put some lively music on and dance for a few minutes. I love 5rhythms dancing and this track, which is only 7 min long, gives you a mini wave like a very short version of a movement meditation class.
    • Do a quick rebozo or scarf self massage! This only takes 2 to 5 min. This really moves the energy in your body and refresh and enliven you!

    Try it! It only takes about 5 minutes to make a difference. If you do try some of these techniques, I’d love to hear about your experience!

     

  • What is postpartum bodywork and why we need it back.

    What is postpartum bodywork and why we need it back.

    All around the world there are (or used to be) traditional practices to help a new mother’s body heal after birth.

    Regardless of the continent, these traditions usually include some massage and wrapping rituals, as well as binding the belly and pelvis, and keeping the mother warm.

    When you think about the tremendous changes a mother’s body undergoes, it makes so much sense! During pregnancy, the uterus grows from the size of a pear to that of a watermelon, the pelvis tilts forward and becomes wider, the ribs open, the spine curves increase, the abdominal organs get pushed up etc. To give birth, the mother’s body opens up on a physical and energetic level. After birth, these changes need to happen in reverse, whilst the body also undergoes the beginning of lactation.

    It seems crazy that we no longer have processes in place to support these changes, or at the very least, some kind of physical examination to make sure everything has returned to a healthy place. At the 6 weeks doctor “check” in the UK, there is no overall physical examination of the mother.

    With no checkup, and no sense of what is normal, we have a perfect storm of issues not being treated. The statistics are very telling: 1 in 3 new mothers experience urinary incontinence at 3 months postpartum and nearly one in 2 still has diastasis recti at 6 months postpartum. Research shows that it takes on average 8-10 years post birth for women to seek help for such issues.

    Yet, during the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the body is still plastic and resetting itself post birth, there is a unique opportunity for healing.

    Traditional massages and rituals, such as closing the bones, understand this need and the window of opportunity, and are designed to “close” a new mother physically, emotionally and energetically, after the widening and opening of pregnancy and birth. Because the needs of new mothers are the same regardless of where they are from, it makes sense all cultures have similar processes to support postpartum healing. This article from Innate traditions provides a beautiful overview of the topic.

    As no such treatment is available as standard within the health system, it makes sense to seek bodywork and healing from people who can provide it.

    What kind of postnatal bodywork can you have?

    When can you have postnatal bodywork?

    As soon as possible during the first 6-8 weeks postpartum or as soon as you are ready. In traditional wisdom, there is a window of healing opportunity and plasticity during this time when the body is designed to heal faster. The strange “don’t do anything before you’ve had your 6 weeks check” isn’t based on any evidence. Moreover, it makes no sense because the 6 weeks check doesn’t include a physical examination. Having massaged many new mothers, some as soon as 24h post birth, I can attest that this is when the bodywork is the most effective to speed up healing.

    What can you do for yourself?

    • Use the 4 pillars of postnatal recovery (Social support, rest, food and bodywork) to write a postnatal recovery plan (you can download a free template here) to include bodywork. You can ask for gifts vouchers towards postnatal bodywork.
    • Wrap your belly and hips. I wrote a blog about it which includes tutorials.
    • Keep warm (like a convalescent person would: wrap up, and consume warming foods and drinks)

    What can you do for new mothers?

    • If you know someone who is pregnant or recently had a baby, it would be a wonderful gift to give them a voucher towards such a treatment.
  • Do you struggle to describe everything that you do professionally under one title?

    Do you struggle to describe everything that you do professionally under one title?

    I used to struggle to define myself professionally because I thought that I needed a title that covered ALL of my hats.

    It was easy when I started after my professional reconversion from scientist to birthworker, I just called myself a doula. Then I grew, I learnt a lot of new things, and started teaching them. After a few years, I gave up some activities to make room for new things I had learnt and felt more drawn to. Soon I found myself struggling to describe what I do. It bothered me because I thought I had to find a title that covered it all.

    I discovered a new word in a French book. The word is slasheuse. A slasheuse is a multitalented professional who has carries out several activities/wear several hats in their work. The term makes reference to the slash sign being used between the different areas of their work. I like this expression because it describes me to a tee. I wear many professional hats:

    I am a scientist/doula/healer/teacher/author/facilitator.  Under each of these categories are many sub categories. Too many to put in a title.

    I’m grateful for having discovered authentic marketing coach George Kao who taught me that I don’t need to describe all of myself under one title (here is one of his articles about it ) and it is incredibly liberating.

    It’s OK to talk about each of your many work and personal life interests in turn and without a particular logic or order.

    It’s OK for people to know you only for the aspects of your work that resonate with them.

    It’s OK not to have a title that covers them all.

    If my work as a doula has taught me one thing, it is that everyone of us is unique. That we are beautiful and messy and full of paradoxes. And we are more than the sum of our work, the sum of our interests and hobbies. We are also always evolving, growing and learning new things and dropping some off. We aren’t static.

    If, you, like me, are a “slasheuse” (or a slasheur), I invite you to discover the ease and joy that comes when you stop trying to fit your beautiful unique self into tight neat little boxes.