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Author: Sophie Messager
Why Drumming Disrupts the Patriarchy: Reclaiming the Ancient Medicine They Made Us Forget
The first time I held a drum, I felt something ancient in my body. A recognition. Something that said: you know this.
And I did, or rather, my body did. My hands knew the rhythm before my mind. My heart knew this was medicine before I had language for why.
This was so strong that it led me to acquire my own drum soon after. Drumming grew in my work and life, leading to today: I drum daily on my own, weekly with two other women, monthly in my drum circle, and every 6 weeks in the wheel of the year ceremony (and many other times in between). It has taken such an important role in my life, my path and my growth that I have written a book about it, and that I’m actively working to bring more women to the drum
But what I didn’t know then was that my drum was dangerous. That the act of picking it up was an act of rebellion. That by drumming, I was reclaiming something that had been deliberately taken from women for centuries.
The patriarchy didn’t silence our drums by accident.
“The many women I have drummed for during pregnancies, birth and postpartum, during difficult life transitions, loss, trauma, grief, illness, accidents, changes of circumstances, end of relationships and more, have told me that the drum spoke to something deep within them, something they recognised: a remembering. They spoke of feeling like they were inside of a temple, of feeling their ancestors around them, of being reminded of their strength, of receiving powerful messages of guidance from within, including messages from goddesses and the divine feminine.” Sophie Messager
The Drums That Went Quiet
For thousands of years, women drummed.
We drummed women through birth, our rhythms matching the contractions, guiding them into altered states where their bodies knew exactly what to do. We drummed for the dying, easing their passage with beats that said you are not alone. We drummed for healing, for ceremony, for grief, for celebration, for the turning of seasons and the marking of life’s thresholds.
The drum was our medicine. Our connection to the sacred and to each other.
Then the drums went quiet.
In matriarchal societies, priestresses of the goddess used the drum to enter alerted states and communicate with the spirit world. The rise of patriarchy saw spiritual roles move to men, and with this, objects of power like the drum were removed. When the church consolidated its power throughout Europe, it called drumming witchcraft and heathenism. When colonisers wanted to control indigenous peoples, they banned the practice of traditional religions and drumming. When birth moved from home to hospital, natural rhythms were replaced with machines and protocols.
This wasn’t cultural evolution. This was systematic suppression.
Because those in power understood something crucial: women with drums are dangerous.
“As we drum, we don’t just think differently – we experience the world differently. This altered state of being opens doorways to new perspectives, allowing us to imagine and embody alternatives to the limiting narratives that have been unconsciously programmed into us. In essence, drumming doesn’t just challenge the system – it transports us beyond it, offering an experience of what true autonomy and connection feel like.” Sophie Messager
Why Your Drum Threatens the System
The patriarchy has a vested interest in keeping you in your head.
Overthinking. Analyzing. Doubting yourself. Seeking external validation. Second-guessing your intuition. Being “reasonable.” Staying small. Questioning whether you’re “too much” or “too loud” or “too intense”.
When you’re trapped in mental loops, comparing yourself to others, wondering if you’re good enough, waiting for permission, you’re manageable. Controllable. Easy to market to, easy to exploit, easy to keep in line.
But drumming short-circuits all of that.
Within minutes of drumming, your brainwaves shift from beta (the thinking, analysing state) to alpha and theta (embodied, intuitive, present). You literally cannot overthink while drumming. Your thinking mind has to surrender to rhythm, to body, to the present moment.
And in that space, that drumming space where thinking stops and being begins, you access something the patriarchy desperately doesn’t want you to find:
Your own knowing.
The Wisdom They Don’t Want You to Access
Your body holds truths that the systems of power have spent centuries trying to make you forget:
Your intuition. That deep, bone-level knowing that they dismiss as “irrational” or “emotional.” The knowing that tells you when something is wrong, when someone is lying, when you need to leave, when you need to stay. Drumming connects you directly to this wisdom.
Your rage. The righteous anger at injustice, at being diminished, at having your voice taken, at watching other women suffer. You’ve been taught that anger makes you “difficult” or “hysterical.” But your rage is information. It’s power. And drumming lets it move through you instead of hurting you.
Your power. Not power over others, but power as life force, as creative energy, as sovereignty over your own body and choices. The power to take up space, to be heard, to say no. Drumming reconnects you to the power that you’ve been taught to fear in yourself.
Your boundaries. The “no” you’re supposed to soften, explain, apologise for. The needs you’re taught to suppress. The space you’re told not to take. The fawning. Drumming teaches your nervous system that you can be loud, take up space, make demands on the world, and survive.
This is why they took our drums. Because women who are connected to their intuition, their rage, their power, and their boundaries cannot be controlled.
“One of the most powerful aspects of drumming and the reason people have done it since the beginning of being human is that it changes people’s consciousness. Through rhythmic repetition of ritual sounds, the body, the brain and the nervous system are energized and transformed.” Layne Redmond
The Threat of Women in Circle
But there’s something even more dangerous than a woman with a drum.
It’s a group of women drumming together.
The patriarchy’s greatest tool is isolation. Keep women separate. Keep them competing with each other. Keep them comparing themselves. Keep them too busy, too tired, too convinced they’re alone in their struggles.
Because when women come together, when we sit in circle, when we drum with each other, something magical happens.
Our brains synchronise. Our breaths synchronise. Our rhythms entrain to each other. We remember, viscerally, that we are social animals. That we are stronger together. That we are not crazy, not alone, not too much.
We remember what power feels like when it’s shared rather than hoarded.
And we become ungovernable.
This is why women’s circles were suppressed. Why gatherings were made suspicious. Why female friendship has been trivialised as “drama” or dismissed as “just chatting.” Why we were made to believe that women are bitchy and not to be trusted.
Because synchronised women, women who trust each other, support each other, drum together, cannot be controlled by systems that require our disconnection and our compliance.
The Fear That Lives in Your Bones
I’m sure many of you feel it when you think about drumming, because I hear almost every women I speak to about drumming say this. The anxiety, that voice that whispers you’re not good enough, you’ll look foolish, you’ll be too loud, someone will be angry.
This fear isn’t yours alone. It’s ancestral.
It lives in your bones because it lived in your grandmother’s bones, and her grandmother’s before her. It’s the fear of the woman who was called a witch and lost everything. The fear of the woman whose drums were confiscated and burned. The fear of the enslaved woman who was beaten for making rhythm.
This fear was taught to us through violence, through shaming, through punishment. And even though you may never have been directly persecuted for drumming, your body remembers. Your nervous system carries the imprint of what happened to the women who came before you.
And today? The persecution is more subtle, but it’s still there. It’s in the eye roll when you mention spiritual practices. The “that’s a bit woo-woo, isn’t it?” The suggestion that you should focus on “real” things, that you’re not being a “good girl”, that you’re being ridiculous, too much, taking up too much space, making too much noise.
It’s in the way we’ve learned to apologise before we speak. To lower our voices in meetings. To second-guess our knowing. To ask permission before we take up room. To shrink to make others comfortable.
The fear of drumming isn’t about the drum at all. It’s about the deeper terror of being seen, being heard, being powerful, and facing the consequences that powerful women have always faced. And are still facing.
But something is different now: the fear isn’t ours to carry anymore. We can acknowledge it – honour it as evidence of what our foremothers survived, and then choose differently. We can pick up the drum with trembling hands and drum anyway. Not because we’re fearless, but because we’re done letting ancient persecution dictate our present silence.
I can see it everywhere in how many women are being called back to the drum.
“The rhythmic pattern of the mother’s heartbeat is linked to feeling safe, nourished, and calm. Rhythm is regulating. Patterned, repetitive rhythms—drumming, dancing, or swaying—are central to healing rituals across all cultures. “ Dr Bruce Perry
You Don’t Need Permission
Here’s what the patriarchy taught you about drumming (and most things):
You need to be “musical.” You need training. You need to be “good at it.” You need expensive equipment. You need a teacher’s approval. You need to earn the right.
All of this is designed to keep you doubting yourself. To keep you from starting. To keep you seeking external validation instead of trusting your own heart, your own rhythm, your own voice.
But you don’t need any of that.
You need a drum. You need five minutes. You need the willingness to make sound, to take up space, to let your hands remember what your mind forgot.
That’s it.
No one can give you permission to drum, and no one can take it away. The drum doesn’t care if you’re “musical.” Your nervous system doesn’t check your training before it responds to rhythm.
Drumming signals safety to your nervous system because this is something humans have done since times immemorial, together, to release trauma and connect with each other.
Every time you pick up a drum, you are voting with your body for a different way of being. You are saying: I claim space. I claim voice. I claim the right to be loud, to be heard, to take up sonic real estate in the world.
“This physiology (the polyvagal nervous system) is not impacted through traditional ‘talk-based’ therapies […] non-verbal therapies using rhythm, movement, entrainment are more often able to restore equilibrium. […] Many indigenous rituals employ drumming to stimulate the vagal brake”. Simon Faulkner.
Drumming as Protest
Make no mistake: your drumming is political. Every beat says: I will not be silenced.
Every time you drum, you reclaim:
- Space – refusing to stay small and quiet
- Time – prioritising your practice over productivity
- Voice – being heard, not just seen
- Body – trusting its wisdom over external authorities
- Lineage – connecting to the women who drummed before you
- Community – choosing connection over competition
This is why the establishment will try to dismiss your drumming as frivolous, as “just a hobby.” They’ll tell you it’s new age nonsense, hippy bullshit stuff. They’ll suggest you’re being “too loud” or “disturbing the peace.”
Good. Disturb the peace.
The peace you’re being asked to keep is the peace of your own oppression.
What Happens When We Remember
I think about what the world would look like if women remembered how to drum.
If we taught our daughters to pick up drums instead of dimming their voices. If we gathered in circles instead of competing for scraps. If we trusted the wisdom of our bodies instead of outsourcing our knowing to experts and algorithms.
If we let ourselves be as loud as we actually are.
The systems that profit from our doubt, our silence, our smallness would crumble. Because those systems require our compliance. They need us believing we’re not enough, that we need fixing, that we should wait for permission.
Drumming teaches the opposite. It teaches: you are enough. Your body knows. You don’t need permission. You are powerful. You are not alone.
This is remembering, not learning. Not acquiring a new skill or becoming someone different. Just remembering what they made you forget:
You are powerful. You are wise. You have a voice. You deserve to be heard.
Pick Up Your Drum
So here’s my invitation: pick up your drum.
Your ancestors are waiting. The women who drummed for birth and death and healing and ceremony – they’re waiting for you to remember. Your body is waiting to drop out of overthinking and into knowing. Your voice is waiting to be heard.
The patriarchy will tell you it’s silly, that you’re not musical, that it’s just a trend, that you should be quieter, smaller, more reasonable.
Drum anyway.
Because every woman who picks up a drum is a threat to systems that require our silence.
Every woman who drums is a reminder that we are powerful, connected, and ungovernable when we remember who we are.
Every woman who drums is reclaiming what was taken, speaking what was silenced, and becoming what they feared most:
Free.
“What we need most at this moment in time, to heal ourselves and to heal the earth, is to support women to stand in their true power. The power that resides within us, in our ability to trust ourselves and know what’s right for us, rather than abdicating knowledge and power over to the system. What we need is to support a feminine way of accessing knowledge… Drumming offers a way back in through the layers of parenting, education and societal conditioning that have eroded our self-knowing. Reclaiming this knowing is critically needed in a culture that conditions women from childhood to seek truth outside rather than within.” Sophie Messager
Join Me: Drumming as Medicine
If this stirred something in you, if you felt that ancient recognition, that feeling of you know this, I invite you to join me for Drumming as Medicine: a 4-week live online women’s circle starting October 29th.
This isn’t about becoming a drummer. It’s about reclaiming a practice that regulates your nervous system, processes stuck emotions, and reconnects you to your inner wisdom, all in just a few minutes a day.
In this circle, you’ll:
- Learn drum microdosing: a simple 5-minute daily practice that creates real shifts
- Experience guided drumming journeys in community
- Move through resistance with support (not alone)
- Build a sustainable practice with accountability
- Connect with women who understand
What’s included:
- 4 live weekly circle calls on Zoom (Wednesdays 4pm GMT)
- Lifetime access to all recordings and extra course materials in my online course platform
- Private Facebook community for ongoing support
- Drum microdosing practice guide
- Exclusive drum journeys
Early bird pricing ends October 22nd: £145 (regular price £195)
You don’t need to be musical. You just need to be willing to remember.
[Register for Drumming as Medicine]
The drum is calling. Your sisters are waiting. Let’s reclaim our power together.
Start Drumming: A Guide for Women’s Wellbeing & Inner Wisdom
“Imagine a practice that calms the nervous system, soothes body and mind, deepens connection and empowerment – that’s drumming.” – Jane Hardwicke Collings
The Permission You’ve Been Waiting For
Since sharing my research on women and drumming and publishing The Beat of Your Own Drum, I’ve heard the same thing over and over from women everywhere – podcast hosts, conference attendees, random conversations in the street:
“I’ve tried drumming, but I’m not very good.” “I have a drum but don’t dare play it.” “I feel like an impostor.” “I don’t have enough rhythm.” “I’m too embarrassed.” “I don’t know where to start.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I used to feel exactly the same way. Now, drumming is as natural to me as breathing, and I want to help you get there too.
Why You Think You’re “Not Good Enough”
The biggest block to starting a drumming practice isn’t lack of ability – it’s believing you need permission or training to make noise.
For most of human history, music-making, dancing, and singing were communal activities, integral to daily life. Nobody questioned whether they were “good enough” to participate. From African drum circles to Native American powwows, from European folk dances to Asian temple chants, music belonged to everyone.
The discomfort we experience today is recent – the result of a society that professionalised creative expression. We’ve moved from a culture of participation to one of performance and perfectionism, where fear of judgement overshadows the joy of creation.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: for centuries, drumming belonged to women – until it was systematically stripped away along with our spiritual authority and leadership.
It’s time we took it back.
A Solution for Modern Overwhelm
Exhausted from overthinking everything? Seeking advice, reading books, trying to think your way to clarity while your mind spins endlessly?
Drumming bypasses mental chatter. Within minutes, the rhythm shifts your brainwaves, drops you into your body, and opens a channel to inner wisdom that words can’t reach.
It’s not about becoming “good at drumming.” It’s about remembering a language your body already speaks.
How to Start (It’s Simpler Than You Think)
There is no “right” way to drum. All you need is a drum (a frame drum with a beater is easiest, but any drum works) and a willingness to play intuitively.
Commit to just 5 minutes a day with intention, and you’ll see shifts within weeks. Earlier this year, I led women through a 4-week “drum microdosing” practice – 5 minutes of intuitive drumming daily. Every participant reported 50-70% improvement in the wellbeing aspect they’d chosen to focus on.
Ready to Begin?
Join my free workshop: “Start Drumming – A Workshop for Women’s Wellbeing & Inner Wisdom” on 15th October.
You’ll discover:
- Why drumming was deliberately removed from women’s hands (and why reclaiming it matters now)
- How rhythm bypasses mental chatter and connects you to inner wisdom
- The science proving drumming reduces stress and shifts consciousness
- Simple ways to start a practice – even if you think you’re “not musical”
- How 5 minutes daily can transform your relationship with yourself
No drum required. No sense of rhythm required. Just curiosity and willingness to explore something ancient our culture forgot.
Can’t make the workshop?
Start your drumming journey now:
- Read: How to Choose a Drum – free guide
- Explore: The Beat of Your Own Drum – my new book on drumming for women’s transformation
- Connect: Follow me @sophie_messager for regular drumming insights and practices
The drum is waiting. Your body remembers. It’s time to reclaim your power.
From Skeptic to Believer: Why I Wrote The Beat Of Your Own Drum
My new book The Beat Of Your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is now available from Womancraft publishing.
I want to share with you why I wrote this book.
The beginning
My journey with the drum is deeply rooted in my doula journey. I was first introduced to shamanic drumming at a doula retreat in 2013. I was utterly sceptical about drumming, convinced that it wouldn’t work (I even thought it was bullshit), until I experienced a shamanic drum journey during the retreat. I had such vivid visions, and loved how the drum made me feel so much, that I instantly wanted one of my own. My mother gifted me an Irish Bodhran, and the rest is history. As I write this, I own close to 30 drums, and I have been running drum circles for 5 years, I have drummed during births and written an article about drumming and birth in a scientific journal, drummed at 2 midwifery conferences, delivered talks at drumming conventions, and of course I’ve written this book.
There is so much to share, and I cannot fit it all in one article, so I’ll be writing more in the runner up to the pre launch and over the summer until the book becomes physically available in September. I’m going to share a brief version of my story and also some of the wonderful effects that drumming provides for women going through transformation (such as, but not limited to), birth.
After I got my first drum, the most challenging aspect was overcoming impostor syndrome, something I see in almost all of the women who start their work with the drum. We live in such a patriarchal society, where we are unconsciously made to believe that there is a “right” way to do something, and that we cannot do it unless we have been formally trained in it. This leads to not feeling good enough and not daring to drum. Add to this the systemic historical suppression of women’s expression (including drumming) and voices, it’s not surprising that drumming does not feel safe for a lot of women.
Looking back I’m really glad I experienced this because it gives me a lot of empathy and understanding for the women who come to me to grow their drumming skills, and who experience the same. 12 years down the line, drumming feels as natural to me as breathing. You can read part of that story in more detail (up to 2020) in my article called Drum healing, bullshit?
It all started with birth
Drumming became a part of the work I did with women as a doula, first during postpartum closing the bones massage rituals , then during pregnancy rituals and healings, and finally during births. I started yearning to drum for women during labour and births, eventually doing so in 2019, and then getting hired specifically for this purpose. It came completely from within, as I could not find anything written about it at the time.
When I decided to start writing this book, in the summer of 2022, I first intended it to be about drumming and birth exclusively, and planned to submit the proposal to the same publisher as my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters. I am very grateful to my friend Bridget Supple, who not only suggested I broaden the topic of the book, but also suggested that I attend a zoom meeting for prospective authors hosted by Lucy Pearce of Womancraft Publishing. Not only did I absolutely loved Womancraft’s ethos, but I felt a deep resonance for Lucy’s approach. I wrote 4 chapters in a month to meet the proposal deadline, and both this and Lucy’s feedback confirmed that the book needed to be much broader than just birth.
Since I left doula work, I’ve started to see in a crystal clear way how the coercive behaviour we see in maternity care is just the reflection of a deeper, society wide issue.
Here’s an excerpt from the introduction chapter of the book.
“Since stepping away from doula work a couple of years ago, I’ve come to the stark realisation that not only is the current maternity care system beyond repair, but that the thread of disempowerment weaves through every stage of a woman’s life. Its pervasive narrative that begins in infancy, winds its way through our experiences of parenting, education and careers. This insidious message – that we are somehow ignorant of our own needs and should defer to those who ‘know better’ – isn’t confined to any one sphere. It permeates politics, the medical and education world and is woven into the very fabric
of our society. From the moment we’re born, we’re subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) taught to doubt our own instincts, to question our inner wisdom. It’s as if society has conspired to whisper in our ears, “You don’t know what’s best for you.” This message echoes in the halls of schools, reverberates in workplaces and finds its way into the most intimate moments of our lives.
The result? A deep-seated, often unconscious belief that our own knowledge – especially when it comes to our bodies, our choices, our lives – is somehow inferior to the ‘experts’. This belief chips away at our autonomy, erodes our confidence in our own experiences and intuition. And it’s a belief that I’ve come to recognise as not just false, but deeply harmful to the wellbeing and empowerment of women everywhere.”
The heart of why the book’s message is: the drum provides us with a path back to our innate ways of knowing.
“Drumming, because of its ability to modify our state of consciousness, can help us get out of a rational, masculine-centric way of thinking and re-learn how to access a more intuitive, more feminine way of knowing. Drumming can provide an antidote, not only to the ever-increasing speed and business of our world, but also to the systematic destruction of women’s power and autonomy.
What we need most at this moment in time, to heal ourselves and to heal the earth, is to support women to stand in their true power. The power that resides within us, in our ability to trust ourselves and know what’s right for us, rather than abdicating knowledge and power over to the system. What we need is to support a feminine way of accessing knowledge… Drumming offers a way back in through the layers of parenting, education and societal conditioning that have eroded our self-knowing. Reclaiming this knowing is critically needed in a culture that conditions women from childhood to seek truth outside rather than within.
“As we drum, we don’t just think differently – we experience the world differently. This altered state of being opens doorways to new perspectives, allowing us to imagine and embody alternatives to the limiting narratives that have been unconsciously programmed into us. In essence, drumming doesn’t just challenge the system – it transports us beyond it, offering an experience of what true autonomy and connection feel like.” Sophie Messager
Here are the chapters of the book
Foreword
Introduction: The First Beat
1 – Rhythms of Awakening: My journey with the drum
2 – Echoes Through Time: A short history of women and drumming
3 – Vibrations of Wellbeing: The science of drumming and physical health
4 – Percussion and the Psyche: Drumming’s resonance in brain, nerves and healing
5 – Diverse Frequencies: How drumming supports people who are neurodivergent
6 – Beating the ‘Shroom: Drumming as an alternative to psychedelics
7 – Sacred Circles: Drumming, rituals and ceremonies
8 – The Rhythm of New Life: Drumming to support the birth journey
9 – Tuning into Your Instrument: Finding a drum
10 – Rhythmic Practices: Ways to work with the drum and drumming
Conclusion: Echoes into the Future
Appendix
I had the drum below made to carry the energy of the book, and women back to the drum.
I’d love to hear from you: What resonates with you about this message? Have you ever felt that disconnect from your own inner knowing? Or perhaps you’ve found your own path back to trusting yourself – whether through drumming or something else entirely?
Write a comment below and share your thoughts with me. Your stories and reflections help shape this work, and I read every response personally.
What Happens When Women Refuse to Stay Quiet? A Conversation Series on Reclaiming Our Right to Make Noise
To accompany the launch of my new book, The Beat of your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, I have recorded this series of conversations with 9 change making, pattern disrupting women who have experienced this tension between silencing and expression in their lives.
Why am I offering this?
Throughout history, women who made themselves heard, whether through drumming, speaking out, or simply taking up space with their voices, have faced silencing, ridicule, and even persecution. From ancient prohibitions against women using drums in various cultures to the labelling of vocal women as hysterical, to the recent banning of women singing by the Taliban, women have been systematically discouraged from creating sound and expressing power through noise.
Despite these restrictions, women have continued to find ways to make themselves heard.
The conversation series
I’m delighted to share nine powerful conversations with extraordinary change-making women who have experienced this tension between silencing and expression.
Our conversations explore how women can reclaim their voices and power through drumming, sound and through overcoming societal conditioning that has taught us to suppress our natural expression.
These intimate dialogues explore the questions that have been on my mind throughout the writing of my book:
- How have you experienced the freedom or restriction to make yourself heard?
- What relationship do you have with creating sound, whether through voice, music, drumming, or other means?
- How has cultural conditioning around “appropriate” feminine behaviour affected your expression?
- What has helped you reclaim your right to make noise and be heard?
The voices in this series
I’ve had the honour of speaking with nine change making and pattern disrupting women whose work and lives embody the spirit of making noise and claiming space:
- Jane Hardwicke Collings
- Rachael Crow
- Lucy Pearce
- Melonie Syrett
- Kate Codrington
- Liz Childs Kelly
- Joyce Harper
- Carly Mountain
- Coco Oya Cienna-Rey
Ready to join the rebellion?
Starting September 19th, I’m releasing these conversations as a daily email series. Nine days of raw truth about what it means to make noise in a world that wants us quiet.
This isn’t just about drumming. It’s about reclaiming the power that’s been stolen from us, one voice at a time.
Click here to sign up and prepare to be inspired to make some beautiful, rebellious noise.
Closing the Bones: Ritual Healing for Life Transitions
You may have heard of the Closing the Bones massage ritual for postpartum recovery, but did you know it can also help with healing after loss and trauma, support transitions, and soothe the nervous system, especially for neurodivergent women?
In our modern world, we often forget the power of traditional healing traditions. Closing the Bones is one of those rituals that offers deep healing beyond words. It holds space for the body, mind and spirit to come back into balance.
Rooted in traditions from all over the world, this ritual has helped women through major life changes for centuries. It’s not just for new mothers. It can help with grief, trauma, illness, and any time of beginning or ending. It provides a safe space to rest, release and reconnect with yourself.
Closing the Bones uses gentle rocking movements using scarves, massage, wrapping, and symbolic ritual. In my version, I also use texts, songs, energy healing and drumming . It’s a quiet, nourishing experience that helps people feel safe and held. The ritual can be offered one-to-one or in a group setting. I’ve offered this ritual to hundreds of women and trained over 1,000 practitioners and witnessed again and again how powerful it is.
What is Closing the Bones?
Closing the Bones is a traditional postpartum ritual. It’s best known from its South American culture origins, but versions of it exist(ed) in every continents including in Europe and other parts of the world too. It involves gently rocking the body with scarves, massaging the abdomen and chest (and sometimes the whole body), and wrapping scarves around the body in a particular sequence. In some cultures, it also includes a steam bath or sweat lodge. I always include drumming.
The ritual helps:
- Physically, by bringing movement into joints, tissues and fluids
- Emotionally, by offering space to rest and be witnessed
- Spiritually, by marking a transition or closure and gathering back your energy
This practice supports healing during many of life’s transitions, not just postpartum.
Here are some of the ways I’ve used it, both personally and professionally:
- Menarche, Motherhood, Menopause These three big changes in a woman’s life are often ignored or seen as inconvenient. But they’re powerful rites of passage. As Jane Hardwicke Collings says: “Anything to do with women, or the feminine that is put down, ridiculed, feared, or made invisible, is a clue that it holds great power.” Closing the Bones honours and witnesses these transitions.
- Conception and Fertility This ritual has helped many women on their fertility journeys. It can be used to support conception or as part of conscious conception work.
- New Beginnings or Endings From marriage to divorce, career changes to birthdays, any new beginning or ending can be supported with this ritual. It creates a space to pause, reflect and honour what is changing.
- Loss I have supported many women after miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth and other forms of loss. It can also help with grieving a loved one, a community, or a version of yourself. It provides a gentle and sacred space for mourning and healing. Read my article about this.
- Trauma I’ve used this ritual to support healing from birth trauma, sexual trauma, accidents and emotional crises. I’ve received it myself in a very difficult time, and it made a huge difference. You can read more in my post on ADHD and the kindness boomerang.
- Neurodivergence and Nervous System Support Many neurodivergent people struggle with nervous system regulation. This ritual helps the body learn what it feels like to be safe. My daughter, who is autistic, has always loved it. Only later did I realise how connected it was. The wrapping especially helps calm and contain big feelings. It’s also helped many of the neurodivergent children and adults I’ve worked with.
- Recovering from Illness Whether it’s chronic illness, long-term fatigue, or even end-of-life care, Closing the Bones can bring comfort and support to the body and soul.
- A different approach to mental health Western models of mental health often focus only on the mind. But trauma lives in the body. This ritual helps without needing to talk. The body gets to release, integrate and find peace. There’s no need to share your story unless you want to. That’s one of the things people appreciate the most.
The ritual uses gentle pressure, rocking, massage and wrapping to create a sense of safety. It calms the nervous system, helps the body release stored stress and trauma, and brings deep rest. The symbolic elements, like the tightening of the scarves around the body and the drumming, help people feel a sense of completion and rebirth.
Want to learn or receive this ritual?
If you work with women or support people through big life transitions, and you want to offer this ritual, I have an in-person training coming up near Cambridge:
I also offer an online course version of the ritual if you cannot travel.
I am running a free online masterclass about closing the bones for life transitions on Tuesday the 5th of August at 8pm UK time.
If you’d like to receive the ritual yourself, I’m based in Cambridge, UK, and cover within a 30 min radius of my home. I’ve trained over 1,000 practitioners in person and can likely help you find someone near you.
As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, the video below shows a taster example of what my ceremony looks like
PlayBetween Becoming: A Guide to Navigating Life’s Transitions
Change is the only constant in life, yet we’re rarely taught how to move through it with ease. Whether we’re facing career shifts, relationship changes, health challenges, or the natural transitions of the phases of womanhood, these liminal spaces—the in-between times—can feel both terrifying and sacred.
Navigating Change
I’m just back from my first ever festival, Buddhafield, where I had a fantastic time attending several transformative rituals and workshops. In one of these workshops, a Blue Lotus ritual, the facilitator explained that we’re at the cusp of a new 12-year energetic cycle, which started on July 22nd. She asked us to remember where we were 12 years ago.
I realised that 12 years ago was when I attended my first birth as a doula and also began my perimenopause journey. This realisation helped me understand why I’ve felt at the cusp of something completely new in my work for the last few weeks.
What feels even more significant is that I’m now approaching menopause itself. My last period was in October last year, so if I haven’t bled again by this October, I will have truly crossed that bridge—a very significant one.
Perimenopause has been a deeply uncomfortable and turbulent rite of passage for me, much more so than motherhood. It’s been a time of deep unlayering, healing, and questioning. Two quotes have particularly resonated with me during this time:
“At menarche a girl meets her power, through menstruation she practices her power, at menopause she becomes her power.” — First Nations American saying, shared by Jane Hardwicke Collings
“Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you ‘I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.’” — Brené Brown
I have a new book about how drumming supports women’s wellbeing coming out in September, with launch events and new offerings planned for autumn. I’m also having a new website built to reflect my change of direction. I can feel the energy of something new coming—it feels very powerful—but I don’t yet know exactly what shape or form this will take. For someone used to having control, this uncertainty is difficult. There’s also the added stress of reduced income during this transition.
I’m still in the limbo phase, before something else is born. Much like when I was a first-time mother waiting for labour to start (my first child was born two weeks after the “due date”), or as a doula waiting for clients to go into labor, I oscillate between moments of peaceful, quiet acceptance and deep frustration and impatience. If I’m totally honest, there are more challenging days than peaceful ones.
How We Navigate Periods of Accelerated Change
So how do we move through times when we don’t know where life is taking us? When everything feels uncertain and we’re suspended between what was and what’s coming?
One crucial aspect is remembering that when we feel dysregulated and stressed, we tend to scramble, grasp, react, and seek knee-jerk solutions. This happens because when we enter fight-or-flight mode, we lose access to the part of our brain that does rational thinking. In survival mode, we’re run by the ancient, more primitive parts of our brain.
I keep having to remind myself of this. Re-regulation is key. I need to notice when I’m dysregulated or panicking about things.
For me—and I’m sure this is true for many of you—experiencing mental chatter is usually a clear sign that I’m dysregulated.
The key to navigating these periods of change is to create moments of peace in your day, to prioritise this, so you can stay present and grounded.
The Traffic Light System for Self-Awareness
The simplest way to understand and practice noticing your state is to think of it like a traffic light:
Green is the ideal state: relaxed, present, socially engaged.
Orange is fight-or-flight: wanting to run away, avoid tasks, getting frustrated/annoyed.
Red is freeze or collapse: stuck, not wanting to do anything at all.
The key is noticing when you’re moving into the orange state before you hit red, because it’s easier to shift from orange to green than from red to green.
Tools for Re-regulation
I’m a big believer that we are all unique, so what works for me may not work for you. I suggest trying a range of approaches to see what resonates:
Movement & Body-Based Practices:
- Go for a walk (even 5 minutes makes a difference)
- Dance for a few minutes (put on music you love and move)
- Sway your hips for 5 minutes
- Stand or walk barefoot on grass/earth for 5 minutes
- Go for a swim (wild swimming always works for me but this needs more time)
Grounding & Sensory Practices:
- Massage or wrap yourself with a scarf (try rebozo self-care techniques)
- Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste
- Diffuse or sniff uplifting or calming essential oils
- Go outside in nature, even just to a garden or park
Creative & Meditative Practices:
- Craft or draw something (even for just 5 minutes)
- Doodle your feelings: draw a person with thought bubbles and download all your thoughts without censoring
- Drum or listen to a calming drum track (5 minutes)- or if you want something longer, I have recorded a 20 min drum journey called Birthing something new)
- Meditate for 5-10 minutes (often easier with guided meditations using free apps like Insight Timer)
- Set a timer for 3 minutes and write/think/speak a gratitude list
Other Supportive Practices:
- Cuddle or play with a pet if you have one
- Practice the physiological sigh—one of the most effective, fastest techniques to reduce anxiety (3-5 minutes)
- Smudge yourself and/or your space (I like Palo Santo or Mugwort incense)
- Take rescue remedy (drops or pastilles)
Conclusion: Trusting the Process of Becoming
As I write this, I’m reminded that transformation is rarely linear or comfortable. We live in a culture that prizes certainty, control, and quick fixes, but life’s most deepest changes happen in the messy middle—in the space between who we were and who we’re becoming.
The ancient wisdom traditions understood something we’ve forgotten: that liminal spaces are sacred containers. They’re where the real work of transformation happens. Like a caterpillar dissolving in the chrysalis before emerging as a butterfly, we too must sometimes completely let go of our old forms before our new selves can emerge.
Maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate the discomfort of not knowing, but to learn to be more comfortable with discomfort itself. To trust that even when we can’t see the path ahead, we can take the next right step. To remember that periods of transition, however challenging, are often the precursors to our greatest growth and most authentic expressions of who we’re meant to be.
The practices I’ve shared aren’t magic bullets—they’re tools for staying present with ourselves through the storm. They help us remember that even in uncertainty, we have the capacity to regulate our nervous systems, to find moments of peace and joy, and to trust the process of our own becoming.
As the First Nations saying reminds us, this isn’t about losing our power—it’s about finally, fully stepping into it.
Walking the Path Together
If this has resonated with you, if you recognise yourself in the space between what was and what’s coming, I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below.
Please also know that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Through my mentoring work, I support women who are moving through their own deep transitions—whether that’s perimenopause, career changes, relationship shifts, or the spiritual awakening that accompanies midlife. Having walked this path myself, I understand both the challenges and the gifts that these liminal spaces can offer.
My approach combines practical nervous system regulation tools (like those shared above) with explorations of what wants to emerge through you during this time of change. Together, we create a safe container for you to explore your own becoming, to trust your inner wisdom, and to step more fully into your power.
If you’re curious about working together, I’d love to hear from you. Sometimes the most transformative journeys begin with a simple conversation about where you are and where your soul is calling you to go.
Drum Microdosing: The Simple 5-Minute Ritual That Can Change Your Life
You may have heard of microdosing of plant medicine, a grassroot movement, driven by communities rather than corporations, where people take sub-perceptual amounts of a psychedelic plant or plant substance (for example psylocibin or LSD) without experiencing hallucinogenic effects. People who microdose report benefits such as improved mood, energy levels, cognition, creativity, and reduced depression and anxiety. Scientific research on microdosing is emerging, with some studies showing improvements in mood and mental health.
I microdosed psylocibin for a couple of years to support my mental health during a time of struggle. It had very positive effects very quickly, when antidepressants had failed me. It allowed me to become aware of negative thought patterns I was not previously aware of, and modify them. I wrote about this in my article Dancing with chaos: my review of 2022.
About a year ago, deep into the process of writing my book about women and drumming (the book will be published this year by Womancraft publishing), I started a practise of beginning my working day with 5 minutes of drumming. I simply set an intention, put a timer on my phone for 5 min and drummed.
Within a couple of weeks, I noticed the exact same phenomenon of awareness and reframing of negative thought patterns I had noticed within 2 weeks after starting to microdose plant medicine. I noticed a negative, judgmental voice in my head, but this time there was an immediate reframing of the negative thought, which had not happened before.
One morning, whilst sitting down having breakfast, I started feeling grumpy because my husband had not expressed gratitude about the many things I had organised for him on his birthday the day before. In the past I would have verbalised this disappointment to him, and, as you can imagine, it would not have been received well. Nobody responds to criticism by being grateful. This time, as soon as the thought of unappreciation appeared, I heard a voice in my head saying “what’s really happening here is that you aren’t appreciating yourself”. The truth of this resonated so deeply that I sat there for quite some time digesting it. As I did this, I noticed that the tension and unpleasant feelings created by the negative thoughts had evaporated, as if by magic. Then, my husband appeared in the kitchen, and told me how much he appreciated all the things I had organised for him the day before.
I wrote about this in my article Beating the ‘shroom : Drumming as a safer alternative to psychedelics. Here I’d like to go further and explain how transformative it can be.
In the process of preparing for a talk about drumming and women’s wellbeing I gave at the convention of women drummers and makers in Colchester, UK, I came up with the term drum microdosing, to describe this practice I had discovered.
How drum microdosing works
When you drum (or listen to drumming-but I find drumming myself more powerful), your brainwaves entrain to the sound waves created by the drum. It is a phenomenon known as auditory entrainment. Put simply, when you listen to the drum, the speed of your brainwaves align with the speed of the drumming. The type of drumming I use, known as shamanic drumming, at around 3 to 4 beats per seconds, results in brain waves slowing down. That slowing down is associated with meditative states. With the sound of the drum, I can enter this deeply aware yet relaxed state very quickly and effortlessly, contrary to when I try to sit still and meditate. Students of mine have reported the same effect, including people who, like me, find meditation difficult, and people who are skilled meditators, who report going much deeper into their meditative state when accompanied by the drum.
For me, what clearly happens is that not only does it calm my brain and nervous system down from a stressed to a calm state, but it then also leads to an immediate loosening of my thought patterns, which results in creativity and solution finding. You know when you are looking for a word and cannot find it, and the more you scramble and try to find it, the more it eludes you, only to find that it often appears once you stop trying? That’s what the drum does for me. I liken it to having a massage, but inside my brain instead of my body.
There is plenty of scientific evidence demonstrating this, so much in fact that the chapter on the science of drumming I wrote for my book was so big that the publisher asked me to subdivide it into two separate chapters!
If you want to see a cool example of this, watch this video which shows the effect of shamanic drumming on brainwaves, by drummer and researcher Jeff Strong, who has been studying the effects of drumming on the brain and wellbeing since the 1990s.
How to get started with drum microdosing
There are two ways you could do it: either drum live if you have a drum (or get a drum), or listen to drumming tracks designed to change consciousness. I find the live drumming more powerful, I suspect it is something to do with the more active aspect of it, and the involvement of movement, rather than the passive listening.
If you already have a drum, set an intention to drum for just 5 min each day. Set a timer on your phone for that time and drum.
If you do not have a drum, the drums I use are frame drums (drums that are made of a wooden hoops with a natural or synthetic hide stretched over it, and played either with a beater or by hand). It works with any drums, but these are easiest to use technically.
A really affordable frame drum option is the Remo Fiberskyn or Rennaissance frame drum. Anything from 12 to 16 inches diameter. They cost about £30 to £40. They do not come with a beater, but you can play by hand or make a beater by wrapping a couple of socks around a stick and securing them with string or an elastic band. Or you could look on Ebay or Facebook Marketplace for a second hand Irish Bodhran, some are available for about the same price. If you’d like to explore drum options more widely, I have written an article called How to choose and buy a shamanic drum.
If you’d like to try the drumming tracks: there are plenty of shamanic drumming tracks on YouTube or Spotify, and the best resource by far is Jeff Strong’s Brain Stim Audio website, which has a wide range of tracks to change your brain state at will (free for 2 weeks without entering payment details, and around £9 a month if you decide to carry on using it after that).
Regardless of how you do it, you’ll get a more powerful effect if you commit to doing this practice mindfully, with clear intention setting and conscious integration, very much like it is done with microdosing substances.
How to drum mindfully:
- Set an overarching intention for a cycle of about 4 for 6 weeks. What do you want to improve/feel better about? Perhaps emotional balance, creativity, clarity, or focus. Be specific.
- Choose a dedicated time each day for your drumming practice, for example the start or the end of the day.
- Before each session, take a moment to ground yourself, set an intention for this specific session, one that naturally flows from your overarching intention. Create sacred space in whatever way feels authentic to you (it could be as simple as lighting a candle, a stick of incense, or diffusing some essential oils).
- Keep a simple journal to track your experiences: note how you feel before and after drumming, any insights that arise, shifts in your energy or mood, and patterns you observe over time. Like any medicine, drumming works best when approached with respect, consistency, and awareness.
- After each session, take a few minutes to integrate – sit quietly for a few minutes, or journal about your experience. This mindful container will allow the healing benefits of drumming to work more deeply in your system.
Conclusion
Drum microdosing offers an easy, powerful, accessible, and natural path towards better mental health, emotional balance, wellbeing, and personal transformation. Unlike plant microdosing, it’s legal, easily accessible, affordable, and has no physical side effects.
With a small consistent, mindful practice, the drum is a wonderful tool for consciousness, expansion and personal growth. Whether you’re seeking alternatives to Western mental health approaches, plant medicine, getting unstuck, wanting to explore new ways of working with your mind, drum microdosing provides a simple path forward.
If you would like to explore this further:
One-to-One Drum-Assisted Mentoring : personalised guidance combining drumming with transformational mentoring. These sessions offer a sacred space for deep insight and personal breakthrough, tailored to your unique journey.
Group Drum Microdosing Circle starting on the 23rd of July. Join an intimate circle of women exploring this transformative practice together. Meeting weekly on Zoom over 3 weeks, we’ll develop our practice, share experiences, and support each other’s growth. The course will provide structure, accountability, and a sacred container for your journey into drum medicine. message me if you have any questions.
My new book, The Beat of your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is available to preorder from Womancraft publishing
Rhythm as Medicine: The Transformative Power of Daily Drumming
You may have heard about various approaches to mental health – from talking therapy to medication to meditation. But there’s a powerful, ancient practice that’s gaining recognition in modern science: drumming. Research shows that drumming can profoundly impact our mental health, emotional wellbeing, and sense of connection to others.
I discovered the therapeutic power of drumming through my own experimenting with drumming. What started as an experimental approach revealed itself as a transformative tool for healing. When I started including drumming in my healing and mentoring work , within just a few sessions, I observed changes in people that sometimes months of therapy hadn’t achieved.
The Science Behind Rhythm
When you drum (alone or in a drum circle), something remarkable happens in your brain and body. Studies have shown that just 20 minutes of group drumming can significantly lower stress and anxiety levels. The rhythmic percussion creates a form of brain entrainment – our brainwaves literally sync with the drum’s rhythm, leading to deeper states of relaxation and awareness. This synchronisation helps rewire neural pathways, enhancing neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to form new connections and adapt. It is literally changing your brain.
But it goes beyond just relaxation. Research has demonstrated that drumming can:
- Reduce depression and anxiety
- Improve overall mental wellbeing
- Boost self-esteem and motivation
- Help in addiction recovery
- Create deeper social connections
What’s particularly fascinating is how drumming helps people process emotions that are difficult to express in words. Many participants report being able to “drum out” their anger, sadness, or frustration in a safe, contained way. It’s as if the drum becomes an extension of their emotional voice.
I collected most of the evidence and wrote it for my upcoming book about drumming and women (to be published in September 2025). There is so much research about the positive effects of drumming on the mind and body, that I had to write not one but two whole chapters about it.
If you want to read a paper that explains the effects on mental health really well, read Drumming Through a Polyvagal Lens by Simon Faulkner.
The Power of Community Rhythm
While individual drumming is powerful, group drumming adds another dimension entirely. Studies have shown that when people drum together, it activates parts of the brain associated with empathy and understanding others’ emotions. This explains why after a group drumming session, participants often report feeling more connected and understanding of each other, even if they started as strangers.
In one particularly moving study, researchers found that people drumming in pairs had higher activation in the right temporoparietal junction – a brain region crucial for empathy and social connection – compared to when they were just talking to each other.
This breakthrough has become permanent for me – when I feel overwhelmed, weak or numb, especially in therapy, I take off my socks, connect to the ground and stand up, remembering the feeling of rising power. My therapist says there has been a huge change in me within the few short months that I have been drumming, which I feel too: more unity within myself, a sense of my own power, a sense of belonging with others and more capacity for joy. Anna, describing what the sense of rising power she experienced after her first drum circle session.
How to Start Your Drumming Journey
You don’t need any musical experience to benefit from drumming. Here’s how you can begin:
- Join a Drum Circle: Many communities have regular drum circles that welcome beginners. These provide a supportive environment to learn and experience group drumming.
- Individual Practice: Even a simple frame drum and 5 minutes a day can create positive changes surprisingly quickly. Start with simple, heartbeat-like rhythms and let your intuition guide you.
- Therapeutic Drumming: Look for facilitators who offer drumming for mental health and wellbeing.
Creating a Small, Regular Practice, ie Drum Microdosing
What it can be used for:
- Mental health/wellbeing
- Anxiety
- Overwhelm
- Regulate your nervous system
- Feeling stuck
- Overcome procrastination
- Navigating change/challenging time
- Increase your creativity
- Increase your ability to focus
And much more
To make the most of your drumming practice:
- Set aside dedicated time in a quiet space
- Begin with an overarching intention for a course of 4 to 6 weeks, and one for each daily session
- Allow yourself to express whatever emotions arise
- Stay present with the rhythm and your body’s response
- End with a moment of reflection, either silently, or in writing
Beyond Traditional Therapy
What makes drumming particularly valuable in mental health is its holistic nature. Unlike traditional talking therapy, drumming engages the body, mind, and spirit simultaneously. It bypasses the analytical mind and speaks directly to our emotional and physical selves.
As one participant in a drumming program shared: One of my key struggles has been a lack of self-belief, doubts about my worthiness and the value of my being. The drumming practice helps me break through self-limiting ideas, uncover challenges and find the courage to express myself more freely. Philippe.
Conclusion
In our increasingly disconnected and mentally challenging world, drumming offers a path back to ourselves and each other. It’s not just about making music – it’s about creating a space for healing, connection, and transformation. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, feeling stuck, or simply seeking a deeper sense of wellbeing, drumming might be the medicine you never knew you needed.
If you’d like to explore drumming for mental health:
- Individual Sessions: One-on-one drum mentoring sessions combining rhythm work with therapeutic guidance
- Drum Microdosing circle : A 3 week group, meeting online weekly, to hold space and accountability to develop a regular drumming practice, exploring different aspects of drumming for emotional wellbeing. We start on the 23rd of July.
- Monthly Drum Circle: Join our monthly drum circle near Cambridge, UK.
- My new book, The Beat of your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is available to preorder from Womancraft publishing
T simplest practice can create the most profound change. Your healing journey begins with that first beat.
When life strips you bare: 10 ways drumming can provide support for you through life transitions
Last week, I had the vision of this herb stripping tool pop in my mind. It’s a little gadget with different sized holes in it, through which you pull a strip of herbs to remove the leaves. This felt particularly weird because I had completely forgotten that I had it and hadn’t used it for years.
The vision clearly showed me that I was being stripped. Stripped of what no longer serves belongs. And that’s how I’ve been feeling for the last couple of months.
This feels both scary and exciting, like I’m being remade and remodelled into a new version of myself. The focus of my work is changing direction completely, going from being focused on mostly birth to supporting women to trust themselves, and I do not yet know what my new offerings will look like.
And of course, it’s doing it in its own sweet time (a bit like waiting to go into labour). There is nothing to do but wait, and trust. It feels really uncomfortable, and I oscillate between excitement and fear, quiet acceptance, and frustration. It’s a daily practice for me to work with the resistance, and to surrender into the unknown.
Being stripped is a normal, regular occurrence.
It is a fact for many of us, life has a way of stripping us down. If you’re navigating new motherhood, menopause, career changes, or any other major life shift, there are times when everything you thought you knew about yourself gets turned upside down. I know this very well myself, as someone who evolved from a scientist to an antenatal teacher and doula, to an energy healer and shamanic drummer, and mentor/guide to women during life transitions.
During my own journey from scientist to spiritual guide, I discovered that drumming is one of my most powerful practices. What started with scepticism and disbelief evolved into understanding of how drumming can literally rewire our nervous systems and help us reconnect with our authentic selves.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, if it feels like you’re losing yourself in the chaos of change, drumming might be just the thing you need to reconnect with your inner wisdom. In this space, you can reconnect with a sense of presence and inner peace, from which you can navigate change without the sense of being overwhelmed and scrambling for quick solutions that come from a dysregulated nervous system.
Here are ten ways drumming can support you through life transitions.
1. Nervous system regulation
When life feels out of control, our nervous system often gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode. From that place you can not feel safe, be creative, or think rationally. Drumming helps to regulate your autonomic nervous system, shifting you from hypervigilance to a calmer, more grounded state. The repetitive rhythm literally entrains your brainwaves, moving you from gamma/beta (stress) to alpha (relaxed alertness) state.
This is particularly powerful for women experiencing perimenopause, new motherhood, or any major life metamorphosis where stress hormones can run high.
“Most studies have shown an improvement in psychological health of an individual, with lower stress levels, less anxiety, better mood, higher energy levels and feelings of empowerment.” Yap et al. A systematic review on the effects of active participation in rhythm-centred music making on different aspects of health, 2017
2. Accessing your inner wisdom
Many accomplished women (myself included) have learned to rely almost entirely on our analytical minds. But during major transitions, logic alone doesn’t work. Drumming bypasses the prefrontal cortex and engages deeper brain regions (and the body!) where intuition lives. Percussion rhythms create a trance-like state that allows you to tap into your inner knowing.
Imagine a murky pond with sediment clouding the water: this is your analytical mind, cluttered with thoughts that obscure clarity.
When you strain to see through the murky depths, forcing answers to emerge, you only stir up more sediment. The harder you grasp for insights, the cloudier everything becomes, like when you are frantically searching for a forgotten word.
Drumming creates gentle ripples on the surface that gradually allow the sediment to settle rather than stirring it up. As you stop straining to find answers, they become visible on their own. Your inner wisdom emerges as your analytical mind relaxes its grip.
The drum effortlessly stills the waters of the mind, allowing insights to surface naturally. The answers were always there, waiting for your mind to settle.
3. Release of trauma and tension
Drumming is a full-body experience that helps release trauma stored in your nervous system. The act of striking the drum, combined with the sounds and vibrations, helps your body to move stuck energy and emotions. This somatic release is particularly important for women who’ve experienced birth trauma, relationship endings, or other life upheavals.
One of the most powerful sets of associations created in utero is the association between patterned repetitive rhythmic activity from maternal heart rate, and all the neural patterns of activity associated with not being hungry, not being thirsty, and feeling ‘safe’ (in the womb)… Rhythm is regulating. All cultures have some form of patterned, repetitive rhythmic activity as part of their healing and mourning rituals – dancing, drumming, and swaying. Dr Bruce Perry
4. Rebuilding your sense of power
There’s something primal and empowering about drumming. When life has left you feeling powerless, it reconnects you with your strength. The act of making sound and rhythm, reminds you that you have autonomy and agency—that you can create, influence, and direct energy.
This is especially healing for women who’ve been in situations where they felt voiceless or powerless.
At home, I felt in my own space but in the hospital, I felt at the system’s mercy and a lot of vulnerability. The drumming stirred up the empowerment and standing up for myself. The drum calls upon strength and authenticity and celebration. The drumming felt like when you are jogging and you have power music on, it gave me a power boost, like it was saying, ‘Open up, relax, trust your body, have faith in the journey.’ It made me feel more confident in my abilities. Leigh (about how having me drumming during her birth made her feel).
5. Creating space for grief and processing
Transitions always involve loss, and even positive changes require us to let go of who we used to be. Drumming creates a sacred container for grief, allowing you to honour what you’re leaving behind while opening space for what’s emerging. It holds you safe as you feel deeply.
I’ve seen women use drumming to process everything from divorce to career changes to the loss of their pre-motherhood identity.
When drumming, the drum becomes an extension of your body. Each beat, when we drop into it, tells the story of how we are feeling, what we are going through and what we need without words. As we drum, particularly with other women in a safe space, that freedom of expression seems to spread into the body itself, creating movement, shaking, dancing, stamping – somatically allowing emotion, trauma and tension to move, be seen and perhaps released. Then that beat and safe space spreads to the voice. It opens up the throat, our space of authentic truth. It allows us to let out that which is held within – in roars, tears, tones, words and song. Melonie Syrett
6. Connecting with your authentic self
When you’re stripped of familiar roles and identities, drumming helps you reconnect with your authentic self, with the part of you that exists beyond the mother, the wife, the professional, the daughter, or any other roles. In the beat of the drum, you meet yourself as pure creative energy, beyond societal expectations.
This is transformative for women who’ve lost themselves in pleasing others or conforming to external expectations.
7. Building resilience
Like meditation, drumming builds your capacity to stay present with difficult feelings and emotions. As you learn to come back to the beat, to the rhythm, when your mind wanders or emotions arise, you develop the same skill for navigating real life challenges. This becomes a resource you can draw upon during tough times.
The drum becomes a teacher in staying grounded when everything else feels unstable.
8. Activating your creativity
Many women in transition feel stuck, creatively blocked or uninspired. Drumming allows you to tap into your creativity, the same energy that births babies, builds businesses, and creates art. This spills over into other areas of life, helping you imagine new possibilities for your future.
The trance-like state can open up channels for intuitive insights and creative inspiration. People can experience heightened intuition, artistic expression, or innovative solutions to problems during or after a drum session or journey. These days when I encounter a problem, I make a mental note to “drum on it”.
I’ve seen women rediscover their artistic gifts, start new businesses, and make bold life changes after beginning a drumming practice.
9. Connecting with something greater than yourself
Drumming has been used for thousands of years to connect with the divine, the ancestors, and the natural world. When you’re feeling isolated or questioning your place in the world, drumming can restore your sense of connection to something larger than yourself, whether you call it God, the universe, or your own inner knowing.
This spiritual connection provides comfort and guidance during times of uncertainty.
10. Integrating science and spirituality
For analytical women who are opening to spiritual dimensions (like I was), drumming offers the perfect bridge. Drumming is backed by cutting edge neuroscience research showing its benefits for brain health, stress reduction, and emotional regulation, while also being a deeply spiritual practice. You don’t have to choose between your rational mind and your spiritual heart, you can integrate both.
This integration is particularly powerful for women, who like me, have been taught that science and spirituality are incompatible.
How do I begin?
If you’re in a life transition and feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like you’re losing yourself, I’m inviting you to explore drumming. You don’t need to be musical or have any experience, just an openness to try and let it guide you back to yourself.
It is simple: find a drum (even tapping on a book or desk will work), put on a timer for 5 minutes, sit quietly, and begin with an intuitive, heartbeat-like rhythm. Let yourself feel the sounds and vibrations, notice what emotions arise, and trust the process.
Your authentic self is waiting to meet you in the drumming. Sometimes, when the analytical mind fails and logic falls short, the wisdom of the drum can guide you back to yourself.
Remember: You’re not broken, you’re breaking open. The drum can help you trust that process.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what that feels like. Please comment below. And you’d like to explore how drumming, along with other neuroscience-backed holistic practices, can support your journey through life transitions, I’d love to connect with you. Or check out my drum mentoring sessions, or my new book, The Beat of Your Own Drum.
My new book, The Beat of Your Own Drum, is available to preorder from Womancraft Publishing
It’s book pre-launch day and I need your help!After a long wait I can finally reveal the cover and announce that my new book, The Beat of Your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is now available to pre-order from Womancraft Publishing.When you pre-order, you do not only support myself and a wonderful small independent publisher in launching the book, you get a bunch of exclusive freebies carefully crafted by me.Here are the exclusive freebies that accompany the pre-order:1) PlaylistA Spotify playlist of songs about drumming, women and power. Each song is associated with a specific chapter of the book, and you may want to play each song before or as you start reading each chapter, or afterwards, to tune into its energy..2) Drum microdosing guideDrum microdosing is a practice I created. I discovered this practice whilst writing the book. Having microdosed mushrooms for a couple of years I was intuitively guided to start a drum microdosing practice. Drumming for just 5 min a day with intention can rewire the brain into more positive patterns, and works in a way that is both accessible and gentle. In this guide, I take you through the all practicalities of starting your drum microdosing practice from choosing a drum to creating an altar to journaling prompts.3) Journey to the Heart of the DrumA shamanic drum journey, where I guide you to connect with the heart of the drum. Discover what healing insights, guidance, or clarity wants to come through for you right now.Pre-order the book before September to get these bonuses. You will receive them a few days before the publication date, which is on the 12th of September.I need your help!To help support the birth of this new book into the world, here are 3 things you can do to help:1) Pre-order the book (you’ll receive 3 exclusive bonuses)2) Share this Facebook post or this Instagram post)3) Forward this email to 2 or 3 friends who might be interested in the book.What is the book about?Part practical guide, part scholarly exploration, and part inspirational journey, The Beat of your own Drum invites women to reclaim their rhythmic heritage and harness the healing power of percussion for personal and collective transformation.Weaving together science and sacred wisdom, Sophie Messager explores the transformative power of drumming for women’s wellbeing. Written by a former biological research scientist turned holistic women mentor, this ground-breaking text bridges the gap between evidence-based research and ancient feminine wisdom.Drawing on historical evidence, cutting-edge research, and personal experience, Sophie weaves together a compelling narrative that reveals drumming as far more than a musical practice. She explores its role in everything from supporting neurodivergent individuals to offering a natural alternative to psychedelics, from easing birth journeys to facilitating social change.Sophie’s expertise in supporting women’s life transitions – from birth to perimenopause – enriches her investigation of how drumming can support these crucial thresholds. Her research spans from the historical significance of women drummers to contemporary applications in healthcare and ceremony, creating a comprehensive guide for anyone interested in the intersection of rhythm and wellbeing.Whether you’re a seasoned drummer, a curious beginner, or a professional interested in innovative wellbeing approaches, this book offers practical guidance alongside fascinating insights. Discover how the simple act of drumming can regulate your nervous system, enhance your spiritual practice, and help you navigate life’s transitions with greater ease and authenticity.The book contains the following chapters:Foreword by Jane Hardwicke Collings
Introduction: The First Beat
1 – Rhythms of Awakening: My journey with the drum
2 – Echoes Through Time:
A short history of women and drumming
3 – Vibrations of Wellbeing:
The science of drumming and physical health
4 – Percussion and the Psyche:
Drumming’s resonance in brain, nerves and healing
5 – Diverse Frequencies:
How drumming supports people who are neurodivergent
6 – Beating the ‘Shroom:
Drumming as an alternative to psychedelics
7 – Sacred Circles: Drumming, rituals and ceremonies
8 – The Rhythm of New Life:
Drumming to support the birth journey
9 – Tuning into Your Instrument: Finding a drum
10 – Rhythmic Practices:
Ways to work with the drum and drumming
Conclusion: Echoes into the Future
AppendixHere’s a short sample of the book (you can read an entire chapter for free here)“ It’s early morning in a woodland. The air feels like it’s been washed clean overnight. It’s got that special lightness that only exists at dawn, before the day’s heat settles in. The sunlight dapples through the trees, making beautiful patterns on the mossy ground. Birds are singing their dawn choruses.
In the middle of a clearing, a woman stands, ready to drum. She holds the drum’s handle in one hand. On its circular wooden frame, a taut supple skin is stretched. The beater sits in her other hand, ready. As she pauses, the air seems to hold its breath in anticipation.
With a flick of her wrist, the beater connects with the drum’s skin. A “BOOM” pierces the silence, sharp and clear. The drum’s skin ripples from the impact, sending out invisible waves and suddenly the air is alive. The deep “BOOM” rolls through the space, through her body. She feels it in her chest, in her belly and hips, in the soles of her feet. It’s not just a sound – it’s a force, a presence.
She finds her rhythm. BOOM-Boom-Boom. BOOM-Boom-Boom. The beater dances across the drum’s surface, sometimes striking the edge, sometimes the centre, creating different tones. Each beat resonates through the skin, the frame and into her body, as if the drum was speaking directly to her bones.
The tempo increases. Her arm moves faster, the beater a blur. Boom-Boom-Boom-BOOM, Boom-Boom-Boom-BOOM. The rhythm becomes a pulsing energy, flowing from the drum and into the space around her.
Her eyes are closed, and she is lost in the rhythm. Her body sways gently. The beater seems to move of its own accord, as if guided by an unseen force. She can no longer hear the birds or see the forest around her. She is no longer playing the drum – she is the drum, the beater, the rhythm. Past and future melt away, leaving only the now of the beat.
The beat shifts, slows. Now it’s a gentle pulse. Boom…Boom, like a heartbeat… Each strike is deliberate, mindful. She feels her breathing deepen; her muscles relax. The world outside disappears, leaving only this moment, this connection between her, the frame, the skin and the beater.
As the final beat fades, its echo seems to linger in the air. The silence that follows is rich and full, vibrating with otherworldly energy. The nature around her is grateful for this honouring and even the birds are quietly listening. She is left with a profound sense of peace, of presence, of connection to something ancient and powerful that continues to resonate within her long after the drum has gone quiet.
This is what I have been doing weekly for the last four years: drumming at dawn in a woodland with two other women. This practice has given me more gifts than I can count: a deeper connection to nature, to myself, a sense of sisterhood and belonging. It has fulfilled my longing for more connection to the sacred. But perhaps most importantly, it has given me a growing sense of peace and spaciousness in my heart, something to hold on to in the midst of life’s busyness and challenges. What my ever-busy mind could not achieve with meditation, the drum gives to me without my even having to try.”