Author: Sophie Messager

The first time I held a drum, I felt something ancient in my body. A recognition. Something that said: you know this.

And I did, or rather, my body did. My hands knew the rhythm before my mind. My heart knew this was medicine before I had language for why.

This was so strong that it led me to acquire my own drum soon after. Drumming grew in my work and life, leading to today: I drum daily on my own, weekly with two other women, monthly in my drum circle, and every 6 weeks in the wheel of the year ceremony (and many other times in between). It has taken such an important role in my life, my path and my growth that I have written a book about it, and that I’m actively working to bring more women to the drum 

But what I didn’t know then was that my drum was dangerous. That the act of picking it up was an act of rebellion. That by drumming, I was reclaiming something that had been deliberately taken from women for centuries.

The patriarchy didn’t silence our drums by accident.

“The many women I have drummed for during pregnancies, birth and postpartum, during difficult life transitions, loss, trauma, grief, illness, accidents, changes of circumstances, end of relationships and more, have told me that the drum spoke to something deep within them, something they recognised: a remembering. They spoke of feeling like they were inside of a temple, of feeling their ancestors around them, of being reminded of their strength, of receiving powerful messages of guidance from within, including messages from goddesses and the divine feminine.” Sophie Messager

The Drums That Went Quiet

For thousands of years, women drummed.

We drummed women through birth, our rhythms matching the contractions, guiding them into altered states where their bodies knew exactly what to do. We drummed for the dying, easing their passage with beats that said you are not alone. We drummed for healing, for ceremony, for grief, for celebration, for the turning of seasons and the marking of life’s thresholds.

The drum was our medicine. Our connection to the sacred and to each other.

Then the drums went quiet.

In matriarchal societies, priestresses of the goddess used the drum to enter alerted states and communicate with the spirit world. The rise of patriarchy saw spiritual roles move to men, and with this, objects of power like the drum were removed. When the church consolidated its power throughout Europe, it called drumming witchcraft and heathenism. When colonisers wanted to control indigenous peoples, they banned the practice of traditional religions and drumming. When birth moved from home to hospital, natural rhythms were replaced with machines and protocols.

This wasn’t cultural evolution. This was systematic suppression.

Because those in power understood something crucial: women with drums are dangerous.

“As we drum, we don’t just think differently – we experience the world differently. This altered state of being opens doorways to new perspectives, allowing us to imagine and embody alternatives to the limiting narratives that have been unconsciously programmed into us. In essence, drumming doesn’t just challenge the system – it transports us beyond it, offering an experience of what true autonomy and connection feel like.” Sophie Messager

Why Your Drum Threatens the System

The patriarchy has a vested interest in keeping you in your head.

Overthinking. Analyzing. Doubting yourself. Seeking external validation. Second-guessing your intuition. Being “reasonable.” Staying small. Questioning whether you’re “too much” or “too loud” or “too intense”.

When you’re trapped in mental loops, comparing yourself to others, wondering if you’re good enough, waiting for permission, you’re manageable. Controllable. Easy to market to, easy to exploit, easy to keep in line.

But drumming short-circuits all of that.

Within minutes of drumming, your brainwaves shift from beta (the thinking, analysing state) to alpha and theta (embodied, intuitive, present). You literally cannot overthink while drumming. Your thinking mind has to surrender to rhythm, to body, to the present moment.

And in that space, that drumming space where thinking stops and being begins, you access something the patriarchy desperately doesn’t want you to find:

Your own knowing.

The Wisdom They Don’t Want You to Access

Your body holds truths that the systems of power have spent centuries trying to make you forget:

Your intuition. That deep, bone-level knowing that they dismiss as “irrational” or “emotional.” The knowing that tells you when something is wrong, when someone is lying, when you need to leave, when you need to stay. Drumming connects you directly to this wisdom.

Your rage. The righteous anger at injustice, at being diminished, at having your voice taken, at watching other women suffer. You’ve been taught that anger makes you “difficult” or “hysterical.” But your rage is information. It’s power. And drumming lets it move through you instead of hurting you.

Your power. Not power over others, but power as life force, as creative energy, as sovereignty over your own body and choices. The power to take up space, to be heard, to say no. Drumming reconnects you to the power that you’ve been taught to fear in yourself.

Your boundaries. The “no” you’re supposed to soften, explain, apologise for. The needs you’re taught to suppress. The space you’re told not to take. The fawning. Drumming teaches your nervous system that you can be loud, take up space, make demands on the world, and survive.

This is why they took our drums. Because women who are connected to their intuition, their rage, their power, and their boundaries cannot be controlled.

“One of the most powerful aspects of drumming and the reason people have done it since the beginning of being human is that it changes people’s consciousness. Through rhythmic repetition of ritual sounds, the body, the brain and the nervous system are energized and transformed.” Layne Redmond

The Threat of Women in Circle

But there’s something even more dangerous than a woman with a drum.

It’s a group of women drumming together.

The patriarchy’s greatest tool is isolation. Keep women separate. Keep them competing with each other. Keep them comparing themselves. Keep them too busy, too tired, too convinced they’re alone in their struggles.

Because when women come together, when we sit in circle, when we drum with each other, something magical happens.

Our brains synchronise. Our breaths synchronise. Our rhythms entrain to each other. We remember, viscerally, that we are social animals. That we are stronger together. That we are not crazy, not alone, not too much.

We remember what power feels like when it’s shared rather than hoarded.

And we become ungovernable.

This is why women’s circles were suppressed. Why gatherings were made suspicious. Why female friendship has been trivialised as “drama” or dismissed as “just chatting.” Why we were made to believe that women are bitchy and not to be trusted.

Because synchronised women, women who trust each other, support each other, drum together, cannot be controlled by systems that require our disconnection and our compliance.

The Fear That Lives in Your Bones

I’m sure many of you feel it when you think about drumming, because I hear almost every women I speak to about drumming say this. The anxiety, that voice that whispers you’re not good enough, you’ll look foolish, you’ll be too loud, someone will be angry.

This fear isn’t yours alone. It’s ancestral.

It lives in your bones because it lived in your grandmother’s bones, and her grandmother’s before her. It’s the fear of the woman who was called a witch and lost everything. The fear of the woman whose drums were confiscated and burned. The fear of the enslaved woman who was beaten for making rhythm. 

This fear was taught to us through violence, through shaming, through punishment. And even though you may never have been directly persecuted for drumming, your body remembers. Your nervous system carries the imprint of what happened to the women who came before you.

And today? The persecution is more subtle, but it’s still there. It’s in the eye roll when you mention spiritual practices. The “that’s a bit woo-woo, isn’t it?” The suggestion that you should focus on “real” things, that you’re not being a “good girl”, that you’re being ridiculous, too much, taking up too much space, making too much noise.

It’s in the way we’ve learned to apologise before we speak. To lower our voices in meetings. To second-guess our knowing. To ask permission before we take up room. To shrink to make others comfortable.

The fear of drumming isn’t about the drum at all. It’s about the deeper terror of being seen, being heard, being powerful, and facing the consequences that powerful women have always faced. And are still facing.

But something is different now: the fear isn’t ours to carry anymore. We can acknowledge it – honour it as evidence of what our foremothers survived, and then choose differently. We can pick up the drum with trembling hands and drum anyway. Not because we’re fearless, but because we’re done letting ancient persecution dictate our present silence.

I can see it everywhere in how many women are being called back to the drum.

“The rhythmic pattern of the mother’s heartbeat is linked to feeling safe, nourished, and calm.  Rhythm is regulating. Patterned, repetitive rhythms—drumming, dancing, or swaying—are central to healing rituals across all cultures. “ Dr Bruce Perry

You Don’t Need Permission

Here’s what the patriarchy taught you about drumming (and most things):

You need to be “musical.” You need training. You need to be “good at it.” You need expensive equipment. You need a teacher’s approval. You need to earn the right.

All of this is designed to keep you doubting yourself. To keep you from starting. To keep you seeking external validation instead of trusting your own heart, your own rhythm, your own voice.

But you don’t need any of that.

You need a drum. You need five minutes. You need the willingness to make sound, to take up space, to let your hands remember what your mind forgot.

That’s it.

No one can give you permission to drum, and no one can take it away. The drum doesn’t care if you’re “musical.” Your nervous system doesn’t check your training before it responds to rhythm.

Drumming signals safety to your nervous system because this is something humans have done since times immemorial, together, to release trauma and connect with each other.

Every time you pick up a drum, you are voting with your body for a different way of being. You are saying: I claim space. I claim voice. I claim the right to be loud, to be heard, to take up sonic real estate in the world.

“This physiology (the polyvagal nervous system) is not impacted through traditional ‘talk-based’ therapies […] non-verbal therapies using rhythm, movement, entrainment are more often able to restore equilibrium. […] Many indigenous rituals employ drumming to stimulate the vagal brake”. Simon Faulkner.

Drumming as Protest

Make no mistake: your drumming is political. Every beat says: I will not be silenced.

Every time you drum, you reclaim:

• Space – refusing to stay small and quiet
• Time – prioritising your practice over productivity
• Voice – being heard, not just seen
• Body – trusting its wisdom over external authorities
• Lineage – connecting to the women who drummed before you
• Community – choosing connection over competition

This is why the establishment will try to dismiss your drumming as frivolous, as “just a hobby.” They’ll tell you it’s new age nonsense, hippy bullshit stuff. They’ll suggest you’re being “too loud” or “disturbing the peace.”

Good. Disturb the peace.

The peace you’re being asked to keep is the peace of your own oppression.

What Happens When We Remember

I think about what the world would look like if women remembered how to drum.

If we taught our daughters to pick up drums instead of dimming their voices. If we gathered in circles instead of competing for scraps. If we trusted the wisdom of our bodies instead of outsourcing our knowing to experts and algorithms.

If we let ourselves be as loud as we actually are.

The systems that profit from our doubt, our silence, our smallness would crumble. Because those systems require our compliance. They need us believing we’re not enough, that we need fixing, that we should wait for permission.

Drumming teaches the opposite. It teaches: you are enough. Your body knows. You don’t need permission. You are powerful. You are not alone.

This is remembering, not learning. Not acquiring a new skill or becoming someone different. Just remembering what they made you forget:

You are powerful. You are wise. You have a voice. You deserve to be heard.

Pick Up Your Drum

So here’s my invitation: pick up your drum.

Your ancestors are waiting. The women who drummed for birth and death and healing and ceremony – they’re waiting for you to remember. Your body is waiting to drop out of overthinking and into knowing. Your voice is waiting to be heard.

The patriarchy will tell you it’s silly, that you’re not musical, that it’s just a trend, that you should be quieter, smaller, more reasonable.

Drum anyway.

Because every woman who picks up a drum is a threat to systems that require our silence.

Every woman who drums is a reminder that we are powerful, connected, and ungovernable when we remember who we are.

Every woman who drums is reclaiming what was taken, speaking what was silenced, and becoming what they feared most:

Free.

“What we need most at this moment in time, to heal ourselves and to heal the earth, is to support women to stand in their true power. The power that resides within us, in our ability to trust ourselves and know what’s right for us, rather than abdicating knowledge and power over to the system. What we need is to support a feminine way of accessing knowledge… Drumming offers a way back in through the layers of parenting, education and societal conditioning that have eroded our self-knowing. Reclaiming this knowing is critically needed in a culture that conditions women from childhood to seek truth outside rather than within.” Sophie Messager

Join Me: Drumming as Medicine

If this stirred something in you, if you felt that ancient recognition, that feeling of you know this, I invite you to join me for Drumming as Medicine: a 4-week live online women’s circle starting October 29th.

This isn’t about becoming a drummer. It’s about reclaiming a practice that regulates your nervous system, processes stuck emotions, and reconnects you to your inner wisdom, all in just a few minutes a day.

In this circle, you’ll:

• Learn drum microdosing: a simple 5-minute daily practice that creates real shifts
• Experience guided drumming journeys in community
• Move through resistance with support (not alone)
• Build a sustainable practice with accountability
• Connect with women who understand

What’s included:

• 4 live weekly circle calls on Zoom (Wednesdays 4pm GMT)
• Lifetime access to all recordings and extra course materials in my online course platform
• Private Facebook community for ongoing support
• Drum microdosing practice guide
• Exclusive drum journeys

Early bird pricing ends October 22nd: £145 (regular price £195)

You don’t need to be musical. You just need to be willing to remember.

[Register for Drumming as Medicine]

The drum is calling. Your sisters are waiting. Let’s reclaim our power together.

“Imagine a practice that calms the nervous system, soothes body and mind, deepens connection and empowerment – that’s drumming.” – Jane Hardwicke Collings

The Permission You’ve Been Waiting For

Since sharing my research on women and drumming and publishing The Beat of Your Own Drum, I’ve heard the same thing over and over from women everywhere – podcast hosts, conference attendees, random conversations in the street:

“I’ve tried drumming, but I’m not very good.” “I have a drum but don’t dare play it.” “I feel like an impostor.” “I don’t have enough rhythm.” “I’m too embarrassed.” “I don’t know where to start.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I used to feel exactly the same way. Now, drumming is as natural to me as breathing, and I want to help you get there too.

Why You Think You’re “Not Good Enough”

The biggest block to starting a drumming practice isn’t lack of ability – it’s believing you need permission or training to make noise.

For most of human history, music-making, dancing, and singing were communal activities, integral to daily life. Nobody questioned whether they were “good enough” to participate. From African drum circles to Native American powwows, from European folk dances to Asian temple chants, music belonged to everyone.

The discomfort we experience today is recent – the result of a society that professionalised creative expression. We’ve moved from a culture of participation to one of performance and perfectionism, where fear of judgement overshadows the joy of creation.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth: for centuries, drumming belonged to women – until it was systematically stripped away along with our spiritual authority and leadership.

It’s time we took it back.

A Solution for Modern Overwhelm

Exhausted from overthinking everything? Seeking advice, reading books, trying to think your way to clarity while your mind spins endlessly?

Drumming bypasses mental chatter. Within minutes, the rhythm shifts your brainwaves, drops you into your body, and opens a channel to inner wisdom that words can’t reach.

It’s not about becoming “good at drumming.” It’s about remembering a language your body already speaks.

How to Start (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

There is no “right” way to drum. All you need is a drum (a frame drum with a beater is easiest, but any drum works) and a willingness to play intuitively.

Commit to just 5 minutes a day with intention, and you’ll see shifts within weeks. Earlier this year, I led women through a 4-week “drum microdosing” practice – 5 minutes of intuitive drumming daily. Every participant reported 50-70% improvement in the wellbeing aspect they’d chosen to focus on.

Ready to Begin?

Join my free workshop: “Start Drumming – A Workshop for Women’s Wellbeing & Inner Wisdom” on 15th October.

You’ll discover:

• Why drumming was deliberately removed from women’s hands (and why reclaiming it matters now)
• How rhythm bypasses mental chatter and connects you to inner wisdom
• The science proving drumming reduces stress and shifts consciousness
• Simple ways to start a practice – even if you think you’re “not musical”
• How 5 minutes daily can transform your relationship with yourself

No drum required. No sense of rhythm required. Just curiosity and willingness to explore something ancient our culture forgot.

[REGISTER HERE]

Can’t make the workshop?

Start your drumming journey now:

• Read: How to Choose a Drum – free guide
• Explore: The Beat of Your Own Drum – my new book on drumming for women’s transformation
• Connect: Follow me @sophie_messager for regular drumming insights and practices

The drum is waiting. Your body remembers. It’s time to reclaim your power.

My new book The Beat Of Your Own Drum, the history, science and contemporary use of drumming as a path for women’s wisdom, health, and transformation, is now available from Womancraft publishing.

 I want to share with you why I wrote this book.

The beginning

My journey with the drum is deeply rooted in my doula journey. I was first introduced to shamanic drumming at a doula retreat in 2013. I was utterly sceptical about drumming, convinced that it wouldn’t work (I even thought it was bullshit), until I experienced a shamanic drum journey during the retreat. I had such vivid visions, and loved how the drum made me feel so much, that I instantly wanted one of my own. My mother gifted me an Irish Bodhran, and the rest is history. As I write this, I own close to 30 drums, and I have been running drum circles for 5 years, I have drummed during births and written an article about drumming and birth in a scientific journal, drummed at 2 midwifery conferences, delivered talks at drumming conventions, and of course I’ve written this book.

There is so much to share, and I cannot fit it all in one article, so I’ll be writing more in the runner up to the pre launch and over the summer until the book becomes physically available in September. I’m going to share a brief version of my story and also some of the wonderful effects that drumming provides for women going through transformation (such as, but not limited to), birth.

After I got my first drum, the most challenging aspect was overcoming impostor syndrome, something I see in almost all of the women who start their work with the drum. We live in such a patriarchal society, where we are unconsciously made to believe that there is a “right” way to do something, and that we cannot do it unless we have been formally trained in it. This leads to not feeling good enough and not daring to drum. Add to this the systemic historical suppression of women’s expression (including drumming) and voices, it’s not surprising that drumming does not feel safe for a lot of women.

Looking back I’m really glad I experienced this because it gives me a lot of empathy and understanding for the women who come to me to grow their drumming skills, and who experience the same. 12 years down the line, drumming feels as natural to me as breathing. You can read part of that story in more detail (up to 2020) in my article called Drum healing, bullshit?

It all started with birth

Drumming became a part of the work I did with women as a doula, first during postpartum closing the bones massage rituals , then during pregnancy rituals and healings, and finally during births. I started yearning to drum for women during labour and births, eventually doing so in 2019, and then getting hired specifically for this purpose. It came completely from within, as I could not find anything written about it at the time.

 When I decided to start writing this book, in the summer of 2022, I first intended it to be about drumming and birth exclusively, and planned to submit the proposal to the same publisher as my first book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters. I am very grateful to my friend Bridget Supple, who not only suggested I broaden the topic of the book, but also suggested that I attend a zoom meeting for prospective authors hosted by Lucy Pearce of Womancraft Publishing. Not only did I absolutely loved Womancraft’s ethos, but I felt a deep resonance for Lucy’s approach. I wrote 4 chapters in a month to meet the proposal deadline, and both this and Lucy’s feedback confirmed that the book needed to be much broader than just birth.

Since I left doula work, I’ve started to see in a crystal clear way how the coercive behaviour we see in maternity care is just the reflection of a deeper, society wide issue. 

Here’s an excerpt from the introduction chapter of the book.

“Since stepping away from doula work a couple of years ago, I’ve come to the stark realisation that not only is the current maternity care system beyond repair, but that the thread of disempowerment weaves through every stage of a woman’s life. Its pervasive narrative that begins in infancy, winds its way through our experiences of parenting, education and careers. This insidious message – that we are somehow ignorant of our own needs and should defer to those who ‘know better’ – isn’t confined to any one sphere. It permeates politics, the medical and education world and is woven into the very fabric

of our society. From the moment we’re born, we’re subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) taught to doubt our own instincts, to question our inner wisdom. It’s as if society has conspired to whisper in our ears, “You don’t know what’s best for you.” This message echoes in the halls of schools, reverberates in workplaces and finds its way into the most intimate moments of our lives.

The result? A deep-seated, often unconscious belief that our own knowledge – especially when it comes to our bodies, our choices, our lives – is somehow inferior to the ‘experts’. This belief chips away at our autonomy, erodes our confidence in our own experiences and intuition. And it’s a belief that I’ve come to recognise as not just false, but deeply harmful to the wellbeing and empowerment of women everywhere.”

The  heart of why the book’s message is: the drum provides us with a path back to our innate ways of knowing. 

“Drumming, because of its ability to modify our state of consciousness, can help us get out of a rational, masculine-centric way of thinking and re-learn how to access a more intuitive, more feminine way of knowing. Drumming can provide an antidote, not only to the ever-increasing speed and business of our world, but also to the systematic destruction of women’s power and autonomy.

What we need most at this moment in time, to heal ourselves and to heal the earth, is to support women to stand in their true power. The power that resides within us, in our ability to trust ourselves and know what’s right for us, rather than abdicating knowledge and power over to the system. What we need is to support a feminine way of accessing knowledge… Drumming offers a way back in through the layers of parenting, education and societal conditioning that have eroded our self-knowing. Reclaiming this knowing is critically needed in a culture that conditions women from childhood to seek truth outside rather than within.

“As we drum, we don’t just think differently – we experience the world differently. This altered state of being opens doorways to new perspectives, allowing us to imagine and embody alternatives to the limiting narratives that have been unconsciously programmed into us. In essence, drumming doesn’t just challenge the system – it transports us beyond it, offering an experience of what true autonomy and connection feel like.” Sophie Messager

Here are the chapters of the book

Foreword

Introduction: The First Beat 

1 – Rhythms of Awakening: My journey with the drum 

2 – Echoes Through Time: A short history of women and drumming 

3 – Vibrations of Wellbeing: The science of drumming and physical health

4 – Percussion and the Psyche: Drumming’s resonance in brain, nerves and healing

5 – Diverse Frequencies: How drumming supports people who are neurodivergent

6 – Beating the ‘Shroom: Drumming as an alternative to psychedelics

7 – Sacred Circles: Drumming, rituals and ceremonies

8 – The Rhythm of New Life: Drumming to support the birth journey

9 – Tuning into Your Instrument: Finding a drum

10 – Rhythmic Practices: Ways to work with the drum and drumming

Conclusion: Echoes into the Future

Appendix

I had the drum below made to carry the energy of the book, and women back to the drum.

You can order the book here.

I’d love to hear from you: What resonates with you about this message? Have you ever felt that disconnect from your own inner knowing? Or perhaps you’ve found your own path back to trusting yourself – whether through drumming or something else entirely?

Write a comment below and share your thoughts with me. Your stories and reflections help shape this work, and I read every response personally.

Last week, I had the vision of this herb stripping tool pop in my mind. It’s a little gadget with different sized holes in it, through which you pull a strip of herbs to remove the leaves. This felt particularly weird because I had completely forgotten that I had it and hadn’t used it for years.

The vision clearly showed me that I was being stripped. Stripped of what no longer serves belongs. And that’s how I’ve been feeling for the last couple of months.

This feels both scary and exciting, like I’m being remade and remodelled into a new version of myself. The focus of my work is changing direction completely, going from being focused on mostly birth to supporting women to trust themselves, and I do not yet know what my new offerings will look like.

And of course, it’s doing it in its own sweet time (a bit like waiting to go into labour). There is nothing to do but wait, and trust. It feels really uncomfortable, and I oscillate between excitement and fear, quiet acceptance, and frustration. It’s a daily practice for me to work with the resistance, and to surrender into the unknown.

Being stripped is a normal, regular occurrence.

It is a fact for many of us, life has a way of stripping us down. If you’re navigating new motherhood, menopause, career changes, or any other major life shift, there are times when everything you thought you knew about yourself gets turned upside down. I know this very well myself, as someone who evolved from a scientist to an antenatal teacher and doula, to an energy healer and shamanic drummer, and mentor/guide to women during life transitions.

During my own journey from scientist to spiritual guide, I discovered that drumming is one of my most powerful practices. What started with scepticism and disbelief evolved into understanding of how drumming can literally rewire our nervous systems and help us reconnect with our authentic selves.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, if it feels like you’re losing yourself in the chaos of change, drumming might be just the thing you need to reconnect with your inner wisdom. In this space, you can reconnect with a sense of presence and inner peace, from which you can navigate change without the sense of being overwhelmed and scrambling for quick solutions that come from a dysregulated nervous system. 

Here are ten ways drumming can support you through life transitions.

1. Nervous system regulation

When life feels out of control, our nervous system often gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode. From that place you can not feel safe, be creative, or think rationally. Drumming helps to regulate your autonomic nervous system, shifting you from hypervigilance to a calmer, more grounded state. The repetitive rhythm literally entrains your brainwaves, moving you from gamma/beta (stress) to alpha (relaxed alertness) state.

This is particularly powerful for women experiencing perimenopause, new motherhood, or any major life metamorphosis where stress hormones can run high.

“Most studies have shown an improvement in psychological health of an individual, with lower stress levels, less anxiety, better mood, higher energy levels and feelings of empowerment.”  Yap et al. A systematic review on the effects of active participation in rhythm-centred music making on different aspects of health, 2017

2. Accessing your inner wisdom

Many accomplished women (myself included) have learned to rely almost entirely on our analytical minds. But during major transitions, logic alone doesn’t work. Drumming bypasses the prefrontal cortex and engages deeper brain regions (and the body!) where intuition lives. Percussion rhythms create a trance-like state that allows you to tap into your inner knowing.

Imagine a murky pond with sediment clouding the water: this is your analytical mind, cluttered with thoughts that obscure clarity.

When you strain to see through the murky depths, forcing answers to emerge, you only stir up more sediment. The harder you grasp for insights, the cloudier everything becomes, like when you are frantically searching for a forgotten word.

Drumming creates gentle ripples on the surface that gradually allow the sediment to settle rather than stirring it up. As you stop straining to find answers, they become visible on their own. Your inner wisdom emerges as your analytical mind relaxes its grip.

The drum effortlessly stills the waters of the mind, allowing insights to surface naturally. The answers were always there, waiting for your mind to settle. 

3. Release of trauma and tension

Drumming is a full-body experience that helps release trauma stored in your nervous system. The act of striking the drum, combined with the sounds and vibrations, helps your body to move stuck energy and emotions. This somatic release is particularly important for women who’ve experienced birth trauma, relationship endings, or other life upheavals.

One of the most powerful sets of associations created in utero is the association between patterned repetitive rhythmic activity from maternal heart rate, and all the neural patterns of activity associated with not being hungry, not being thirsty, and feeling ‘safe’ (in the womb)… Rhythm is regulating. All cultures have some form of patterned, repetitive rhythmic activity as part of their healing and mourning rituals – dancing, drumming, and swaying. Dr Bruce Perry

4. Rebuilding your sense of power

There’s something primal and empowering about drumming. When life has left you feeling powerless, it reconnects you with your strength. The act of making sound and rhythm, reminds you that you have autonomy and agency—that you can create, influence, and direct energy.

This is especially healing for women who’ve been in situations where they felt voiceless or powerless.

At home, I felt in my own space but in the hospital, I felt at the system’s mercy and a lot of vulnerability. The drumming stirred up the empowerment and standing up for myself. The drum calls upon strength and authenticity and celebration. The drumming felt like when you are jogging and you have power music on, it gave me a power boost, like it was saying, ‘Open up, relax, trust your body, have faith in the journey.’ It made me feel more confident in my abilities. Leigh (about how having me drumming during her birth made her feel).

5. Creating space for grief and processing

Transitions always involve loss, and even positive changes require us to let go of who we used to be. Drumming creates a sacred container for grief, allowing you to honour what you’re leaving behind while opening space for what’s emerging. It holds you safe as you feel deeply.

I’ve seen women use drumming to process everything from divorce to career changes to the loss of their pre-motherhood identity.

When drumming, the drum becomes an extension of your body. Each beat, when we drop into it, tells the story of how we are feeling, what we are going through and what we need without words. As we drum, particularly with other women in a safe space, that freedom of expression seems to spread into the body itself, creating movement, shaking, dancing, stamping – somatically allowing emotion, trauma and tension to move, be seen and perhaps released. Then that beat and safe space spreads to the voice. It opens up the throat, our space of authentic truth. It allows us to let out that which is held within – in roars, tears, tones, words and song. Melonie Syrett

6. Connecting with your authentic self

When you’re stripped of familiar roles and identities, drumming helps you reconnect with your authentic self, with the part of you that exists beyond the mother, the wife, the professional, the daughter, or any other roles. In the beat of the drum, you meet yourself as pure creative energy, beyond societal expectations.

This is transformative for women who’ve lost themselves in pleasing others or conforming to external expectations.

7. Building resilience

Like meditation, drumming builds your capacity to stay present with difficult feelings and emotions. As you learn to come back to the beat, to the rhythm, when your mind wanders or emotions arise, you develop the same skill for navigating real life challenges. This becomes a resource you can draw upon during tough times.

The drum becomes a teacher in staying grounded when everything else feels unstable.

8. Activating your creativity

Many women in transition feel stuck, creatively blocked or uninspired. Drumming allows you to tap into your creativity, the same energy that births babies, builds businesses, and creates art. This spills over into other areas of life, helping you imagine new possibilities for your future.

The trance-like state can open up channels for intuitive insights and creative inspiration. People can experience heightened intuition, artistic expression, or innovative solutions to problems during or after a drum session or journey. These days when I encounter a problem, I make a mental note to “drum on it”.

I’ve seen women rediscover their artistic gifts, start new businesses, and make bold life changes after beginning a drumming practice.

9. Connecting with something greater than yourself

Drumming has been used for thousands of years to connect with the divine, the ancestors, and the natural world. When you’re feeling isolated or questioning your place in the world, drumming can restore your sense of connection to something larger than yourself, whether you call it God, the universe, or your own inner knowing.

This spiritual connection provides comfort and guidance during times of uncertainty.

10. Integrating science and spirituality

For analytical women who are opening to spiritual dimensions (like I was), drumming offers the perfect bridge. Drumming is backed by cutting edge neuroscience research showing its benefits for brain health, stress reduction, and emotional regulation, while also being a deeply spiritual practice. You don’t have to choose between your rational mind and your spiritual heart, you can integrate both.

This integration is particularly powerful for women, who like me, have been taught that science and spirituality are incompatible.

How do I begin?

If you’re in a life transition and feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like you’re losing yourself, I’m inviting you to explore drumming. You don’t need to be musical or have any experience, just an openness to try and let it guide you back to yourself.

It is simple: find a drum (even tapping on a book or desk will work), put on a timer for 5 minutes, sit quietly, and begin with an intuitive, heartbeat-like rhythm. Let yourself feel the sounds and vibrations, notice what emotions arise, and trust the process.

Your authentic self is waiting to meet you in the drumming. Sometimes, when the analytical mind fails and logic falls short, the wisdom of the drum can guide you back to yourself.

Remember: You’re not broken, you’re breaking open. The drum can help you trust that process.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what that feels like. Please comment below. And you’d like to explore how drumming, along with other neuroscience-backed holistic practices, can support your journey through life transitions, I’d love to connect with you. Or check out my drum mentoring sessions, or my new book, The Beat of Your Own Drum.