đŸ„ New Book Alert! ‘The Beat of Your Own Drum’ – Buy now! Order Here

Sophie Messager

Tag: traditions

  • Postpartum support and butterflies: what do they have in common?

    Postpartum support and butterflies: what do they have in common?

    In my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, I explain that postnatal recovery boils down to 4 pillars: social support, rest, food and bodywork.

    Social support is the foundation on which everything else is built. If you are going to rest, have some great nourishing, food and some bodywork after birth, it’s kind of impossible to do this alone. You need other adults around to be supporting you in order to do this.

    But postpartum support goes beyond the simple practical aspect of having other pairs of hands to hold the baby, cook you food or give you a massage.

    Yes, having another adult in the house means that there is someone to help with house stuff, but most importantly, it means that we aren’t alone. It means that there is someone else to keep us company, listens, and reassure us when we doubt ourselves.

    It means, most importantly, that there is someone to hold the space for us.

    Holding the space looks like someone is doing nothing, but it might be the most important aspect of all. Heather Plett explains this concept beautifully in her article.

    In the episode of the Midwives’s Cauldron podcast I did about postnatal recovery, I tell a story that illustrates this beautifully (you can listen to it here). When my daughter was a baby, she suffered from painful gas at night which left her inconsolable. I became aware that she reacted to certain foods I ate and had to eliminate these from my diet. On a holiday to France when she was 3 months old, I unknowingly ate some food she reacted really badly to, and she woke up in the middle of the night and cried for over an hour. As I got out of her bed to rock and soothe her, my mother heard her cry, and she came to keep me company. She didn’t do much; she just sat with me whilst I rocked my baby. But having another adult there, just being present for me, meant that I felt much stronger and able to support my daughter.

    Recently a new mother I supported as a doula told me something similar: she said you have help during the day, but at night, you’re alone and it’s so hard. I helped her find a night doula, and it made a world of difference to her wellbeing.

    As humans we are a social species, and we kind of intuitively know that we need community support through life transitions. This is why every culture used to have (and many still have) a set of rituals around big life transitions life becoming a parent.

    The polyvagal nervous system theory tells her that we need each other to regulate our stress levels, especially at times when we are vulnerable.

    Postpartum rituals around the world all have in common a period of about a month during which the new mother is nurtured and looked after, almost like a child, because there is an innate understanding that she needs to be surrounded and supported by experienced adults as she navigates her new role and identity.

    Western societies are so focused on productivity that we tend to only plan for practical things. I see a parallel with what people ask me about my doula role. They ask what does a doula do, yet most of my role isn’t easily quantified, because it is more about being than doing.

    An analogy often used for the transition to motherhood is that the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

    If you have ever seen a butterfly emerge from its cocoon, you’ll know that as the butterfly first comes out, its wings are crumpled and soft. The butterfly needs to hang upside down from its cocoon or a nearby branch, whilst it waits for the wings to unfold, dry and strengthen. Only then can it take its first flight. If you’ve ever witnessed this you may also know that if the butterfly falls before the wings are dried, the wings are usually damaged.

    Postpartum support is the same. It is about providing stable ground. One cannot help or speed up the wings unfolding and drying process, but they can be the strong cocoon on which the butterfly hangs whilst they unfurl.

    We need to introduce this concept in the postpartum too: that what new mothers need, most of all, are people to hold the space for them, and who trust that they can find their own path, and unfold and spread their wings by themselves, in their own time, once there have become strong enough.

    (PS: if you’re a birth geek like me you’ll be fascinated like I was to learn that there is a substance called meconium, which sounds quite similar to the human version, which the butterfly pushes through its wings to unfurl them.)

  • Why postnatal recovery matters online course: what’s so special about it?

    Why postnatal recovery matters online course: what’s so special about it?

    My name is Sophie Messager and I am on a mission to revolutionise the postpartum.

    Everywhere around the world, there used to be a period of about a month after birth during which the new mother was taken care of completely. Family members, or members of the community, used to take charge of the household (chores, older kids etc), make sure the mother rested, provided specific nourishing foods, and well as give or organise some bodywork, such as postpartum binding or massage. It was a ubiquitous practice in every continent (and still is in many parts of the world today). In the Western world, we used to have this too in living memory.

    I do not know why we forgot, but I know that what we have isn’t adequate, and that our lack of understanding of this fundamental need puts new mothers under intense stress. As a doula I have been witnessing new mothers struggle alone, trying to meet their own needs and the intense needs of their newborn babies. Not only this, but there is also intense pressure for new mothers to “go back to normal” as fast as possible, which contributes to feelings of inadequacy and suffering. Because we have lost sight of the needs of new mothers, mothers often blame themselves for their suffering, wondering what is wrong with them, instead of seeing that their struggle is caused by a culture that fails to understand and support them.

    Having witnessed this struggle over 10 years, I have wanted to do something to change it.

    In 2020 I published a book called Why postnatal recovery matters, which is a call to action for a change towards a more nurturing postpartum. I wrote it because I wanted to provide knowledge and practical ideas for both new families and the people who support them.

    I decided to create an online course based on the principles highlighted in the book. The course provides more of a held experience, as it is divided into bite sized modules and lessons, and because in each module there is a video where I introduce the topic. I have also expanded on the knowledge I gathered over many years as a doula and perinatal educator, and expanded to write the book and which I have carried on acquiring since. As well as all the videos and text to read, one of the entirely new aspects that the course provides are questionnaires in each of the modules, which you can download and print. These questionnaires encourage you to explore your beliefs and your hopes and fears on each particular topic. You can then revisit the questionnaire after each module, to see if anything has changed. This provides a deep enquiry process which can be transformative.

    After completing this course you will have:

    • Learnt about traditional postpartum wisdom, and why we need it back
    • Gained a solid understanding of why preparing for the postpartum is essential
    • Learnt about your own beliefs and needs for the postpartum.
    • Learnt about the 4 pillars of the postpartum: Social support, rest, food and bodywork, and how to make them work for you
    • Learnt why hiring help, in particular a doula, can be a game changer
    • Learnt how to write a postnatal recovery plan
    • Learnt about preparing for every eventuality, including the unexpected

    By the end of this course, you will feel confident and armed with the tools your need to have a supportive the postpartum recovery, one that places the new mother firmly at the centre.

    This course is for you if you are an expectant or new parent, or if you are someone who supports expectant and new parents.

    What makes this course, and my approach, unique?

    • I have a unique blend of scientific, theoretical and practical experience. I was a biology research scientist for 20 year prior to reconverting to being a doula. What I bring is my unique signature mix of scientific, traditional, and practical knowledge.
    • The course is full of scientific references, with clickable links you can follow, and also full of traditional wisdom.
    • I have extracted the fundamental principles of what constitues a good postpartum recovery, looking at what is common between cultures rather than specific in each individual culture, and divided them into 4 simple principles which are easy to apply. This means that you can make it work for you and your unique family and circumstances.
    • The course is full of stories from my clients and from mothers and birth professionals, which help illustrate the topic with real life examples, as well as give you ideas that you may want to try.
    • As well as being a scientist, I have gained practical experience in many traditional techniques, such as wrapping the hips and belly, which I share with you in the course.
    • Having gained a DiPhe in antenatal education, as well as facilitating hundred of courses and workshops for expectant parents and birth professionals over 10 years, I know how present information in a way that allows students to learn easily and enjoyably.
    • The course has also been co-developed with a group of 85 birth professionals, so you know that the content have been tried and tested by experts in the field.

     

     

     

     

    What’s in the course?

    • The course is divided in 11 bite size Modules
      • Introduction
      • History
      • What we are missing
      • Social support
      • Rest
      • Food
      • Bodywork
      • Hiring help
      • Postnatal recovery plan
      • Special circumstances
      • Conclusion
    • Each module is presented with an introduction video, and a mix of text, pictures, videos, and questionnaires for optimal learning, and to investigate your own beliefs and revisit them as your go through the course.
    • The course includes access to a private Facebook group for sharing knowledge and ongoing support.

    FAQ:

    How long do I have to do the course?

    As long as you need. You get to do the course in your own time.

    In which order do I do the modules?

    As you prefer. You can go through the course in a linear fashion, or go straight to a particular module you are interested in.

    How much does it cost?

    ÂŁ119

    How do I access the course?

    Here 

  • A guide to postpartum recovery during lockdown

    Updated January 2021 (originally published in March 2020)

    The lockdown inspired me to write a mini emergency postnatal recovery plan, as for the foreseeing future, most new families in the UK (and in many other places in the world) are likely to be at home alone with their babies, with support from only a very limited number of persons (Doulas and certain therapists are still able to work during lockdown so do not hesitate to contact them for support).

    Traditional postpartum recovery the world around includes a period of at least a month during which the mother does nothing but rest and get to know her baby, whilst other people look after her, cook her warming, nourishing foods, massage and wrap her, and provide essential social support.

    After all, your body has done something truly amazing by growing and birthing a whole new person, so it makes sense that it needs some TLC to recover as well as possible. Even marathon runners take a couple of weeks off training after an event!

    I wrote my book, Why Postnatal Recovery Matters,  to encourage a return of these practises to the Western world.

    But during lockdown I am aware that the full version of this isn’t going to be possible.

    So when we boil it down to its bare bones, what does a DIY postnatal recovery plan look like?

    The four pillars of postpartum recovery are social support, rest, food, and bodywork.

    Social support

    I hope you have a partner or another adult  with you. It is unlikely you’ll have much direct support from people face to face, however you can get a lot of online/virtual/video support. Many doulas have switched to offering remote support via phone or video calls (doulas offer postnatal support as well as birth support). You can find a doula here .

    There are online support groups, and you can find local or national ones on Facebook. If you search for something like mums in XXX (town’s name) or “XXX parents”, you’ll find groups, and from these groups and the people in them, you’ll be able to find out other sources of support. In fact the pandemic has seen the creation many new local support groups created to help support vulnerable people, so help is paradoxically easier to find than it was before. There are are also some apps such as Mush or Peanut which are designed to help mums to connect with other mums.

    Rest:

    Aim to stay in bed for a few days, or if being in bed drives you crazy, or if this isn’t possible, around the bed or the sofa as much as you can. Try to take at least one nap a day (early afternoon is the time that most people find that comes naturally), or if you can, a couple of naps a day, sleeping when the baby is sleeping. Even a 20 min power nap can make a world of difference. Try to go to bed earlier than you normally would a few times a week. If you cannot sleep, try to lie down and rest (some mums find it easier to drop off if they listen to a guided meditation. There are plenty of free apps for that). If you’re alone and have other kids to look after, drop your standard for a while and have lazy days around the sofa, making free use of screen entertainment.

    Food:

    If you can, batch cook and freeze ahead of time before the birth. Ideally you’ll want to have a mix of sources for food, from self prep, to food prepped for you by friends and neighbours, to food deliveries. You could organise a meal train or better still ask a kindly neighbour or friend to organise one for you (or use this website https://www.mealtrain.com/). Since there are many free support groups online now, including street whasapp group (why not start one if there isn’t one in your street yet),it that it might be easier than before to get the support.

    There are companies such as cook that deliver good quality frozen meals that you can just stick in the oven like lasagna (https://www.cookfood.net/). I am seeing more local delivery initiatives before so I’m hopeful that you’ll find them locally. Some local shops offering delivery services. As well as fresh food, get some easy to eat, stock on non perishable snacks if you can.

    Bodywork

    Another ubiquitous practise is to massage and wrap the abdomen and/or the pelvis of the new mother. It is trickier than before as access to massage therapists is limited, however, such therapists are still allowed to practise when the clinical need is deemed sufficient (see guidance here https://www.fht.org.uk/news-item/fht-statement-on-coronavirus-covid-19). Manual therapists such as osteopaths, chiropractors, and physiotherapists are still open. There are things you can do for yourself, such a giving your lower abdomen a gentle massage, and wrapping your pelvis and/or abdomen with a scarf or a velcro belt. I’ve written a blog about how to do this, complete with some tutorials.

     

    Get yourself a sling or baby carrier. This will allow you to meet your baby’s needs for closeness whilst being able to relax and still have your arms available to fix yourself a snack or a meal. Carrying matters has just published a blog about babywearing during the pandemic, and they also run the sling pages directory (Babywearing consultants are able to support you remotely).

    Try and plan as much as possible whilst pregnant so you have support in place after the birth.

    I’ve made a free postnatal recovery plan PDF to download with prompts. You can find it here.

    If this inspires you and you’d like to find out more, you can buy a signed copy of my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, here, or find out more about my online courses, or the one to one sessions I offer.

  • Period Pain: if you’ve been told there is nothing you can do about it, read on.

    Period Pain: if you’ve been told there is nothing you can do about it, read on.

    If you suffer from period pain, or someone you know does, and if you have been told that there is nothing you can do: you have been lied to. There is plenty you can do, it is just that the knowledge isn’t part of what is taught within Western medical training.

    I got my period pain fixed, and it makes me so angry that women are told this lie over and over again, are told that it is normal, because it stops them from seeking the help that is available. I’m on a mission to change this.

    This is my story:

    I suffered from severe period pain from the moment I started my period. The pain was so severe that in my teenage years I used to be sent to the nurse’s room at school each month. I curled up in pain on the bed there and waited for my mother to come and collect me. I would spent the first day or two of each period curled up in bed with a hot water bottle. Sometimes the pain was so bad I vomited.

    I tried everything from mainstream drugs to homeopathy, but nothing worked. Around age 15 I was put on hormonal therapy for it. At age 16 I started taking the pill. As I no longer had “periods” (the bleeding caused by stopping the pill for a week is different from that of a period) I was free of pain. I stayed on the pill from the age of 16 to until I was 33, when I decided to stop taking the pill because I was diagnosed with precancerous cells on my cervix (I read some research showing a link between long term pill taking and these- If you want to read about it, the book “The Pill, Are you sure it’s for you” By Alexandra Pope, is fantastic).

    My period pain came back with a revenge. My husband, who had never seen me with this pain, was shocked at how bad it was. I remember once we were driving  when it started and I had to get him to park on the side of the road as I writhed in pain on the car seat, white as a sheet and covered in cold sweat, until I waited for the painkillers to kick in.

    I went to the GP for help. I remember being stunned when all I was offered was to take pain killers. I said to the GP :  “Really, in 15 years the medicine still hasn’t moved on?”. At the time I was working in a biotech company, and told my boss about this, and he said “if men had pain in their dick once a month you can be sure there would be a drug for it”!

    I resigned myself to taking ibuprofen every month. Then I became pregnant and the pregnancy and birth seemed to temporarily fix the problem. My periods became more regular and I was pain free for a few years after having my children. Then, a few years after my second child was born, the pain came back. I resigned myself to taking the pain killers again.

    In 2014 I met an osteopath in Cambridge called Teddy Brookes. I mentioned this to him and he said he could help. I was surprised and slightly disbelieving, but it was so bad I was willing to try anything. Teddy is trained in visceral osteopathy, something not all osteopaths are trained in. He felt the ligaments around the front of my uterus (the round ligaments), told me they were very tight, and worked on releasing them. It was not comfortable and I had to do some deep birth breathing during the treatment.

    That evening and night I had a lot of cramps in my uterus, but the next morning I woke up feeling absolutely amazing, both physically and emotionally. I felt like nothing could touch me. The next cycle the pain was less but still there. I got in touch with Teddy and he talked me through how to release the ligaments myself. I had to get my husband to do it as I couldn’t get my fingers in the right direction but it helped. Within 2 or 3 cycles I was completely pain free and I have been for 6 years.

    I was baffled by this because as a scientist I knew that from a scientific point of view, the cramps of period pain were caused by hormones called prostaglandins and I couldn’t see why releasing ligaments would affect this. Teddy explained that there cramps were still there, only that they were comfortable. I was delighted to be cured of the pain.

    As I told women about my experience, some asked me to teach them how to release their ligaments. But I didn’t feel comfortable doing that because everybody is unique and I thought maybe other ligaments would be tight and therefore need a different technique. Teddy told me that it is almost always the round ligaments that are too tight (more on that later).

    Other things happened along the way that helped my have a different relationship to my menstrual cycle. In 2016 I attended a workshop by Alexandra Pope of Red School, that helped me understand the changing energies throughout my cycle and how to tap into them. This led me to make sure I rested as much as possible during the first couple of days of my period. I blogged it about here.

    With my own practise, working closely with Teddy (we created a postnatal massage course together), massaging new mothers with closing the bones, with supporting women with healing as a Reiki practitioner, and with training such as spinning babies and biomechanics for birth, I general became more aware of my body and of the importance of good balance for uterine health.

    In 2019 I attended a workshop on womb health by Arvigo massage therapist Hilary Lewin. She brought a life size womb suit and proceeded to demonstrate in a very visual manner how the ligaments of the uterus affect period comfort.

    The uterus is attached to the pelvis by several sets of ligaments. You can see a 3D illustration of how the uterus ligaments attach to the pelvis in this video. The round ligaments in particular attach from the top of the uterus and to the front of the pelvis. A healthy uterus is normally slightly bend over the bladder. If the round ligaments are too tight, the uterus will be bent forward a lot more, making expelling menstrual blood a lot harder, and therefore more painful (as the uterus will need to cramp harder to get the blood out).

    In this video I explain in a very visual way what happens when the uterus is not optimally positioned.

    Part of the problem is that we live sedentary and unbalanced lifestyle so many of us have tight ligaments (sitting down a lot tends to do that) and don’t even know it. Because everything in your body is linked, having tight or unbalanced ligaments and/or pelvis may affect many other things too, such as causing back pain or bowel issues. Abdominal massage therapist Barbara Loomis explains some of this with great illustrations here.

    Sadly many women suffer needlessly suffer from horrendous pain, and because most of us believe the narrative that there is nothing we can do, we don’t seek help.

    Here are some stories to illustrate the pain of what some go through, and in some case what helped them:

    When I was younger, before kids I had some months were I would be crying & in excruciating agony, where I’d lay fetal style for hours in so much pain. Pain killers wouldn’t touch it. It wasn’t like that every month, but definitely had it a lot! I always had heavy periods with less pain or light with more pain! Doctors would always say : ‘it can’t be that bad’ and would basically ignore me. They wouldn’t believe me that paracetamol or ibuprofen didn’t work for me (I have a condition where I metabolise drugs really fast) I remember once (this is awful but) taking the strongest pain killers my Nan had prescribed to her for chronic pain, they still only barely took the edge off! My husband found me in a ball crying once & tried to take me to hospital but I knew there was no point. Once I started having kids I found they got so much better. I now have fairly ok period pain but I do now wrap my hips, use reiki, have a bath & rest (especially on my first day as much as I can)! Carly Lokrheim

    From the onset of my periods I had severe pain. Every month I used to be floored in agony. I went yellow in skin tone and was physically sick and sometimes past out. I used fear it every month. My bleed was so heavy and clotted I used to leak right through my school uniform. I was taken to the doctors many many times and was fobbed off and treated as a silly girl. I felt (and it was said) that I had a low pain threshold and I would not be able to handle birth. This put me off ever having children (right up until I was in my mid 30’s) As I got older PMT got more and more intense till it started to affect my marriage. At this point I started Ayurvedic treatment which included massage, life style changes and diet changes. This really really helped with my periods and PMT. When we tried to get pregnant I found there was unexplained infertility, I started acupuncture and found it really helpful and also had a laparoscopy and found I had endometriosis scaring and fibroids. I think a combination of all three treatments/practices helped us to conceive and go on to have two babies. I now follow my cycles and adapt my life (as much as possible) to follow my inner seasons or at least be aware of them. I now also use a moon cup and relish my bleed as a time to retreat and surrender. Clare Wilson Hasted

    I had awful period pain from the age of 11 when it started, I would vomit and faint/ pass out with the pain. I was put on the pill at 13 it didn’t really help what did help was paracetamol, hot water bottles and rest. Then in my late teens I read a book called Who dies? and starting using the meditations in there to cope with the pain, I used the same meditations to cope with my contractions. I also took cramp bark. Staci Sylvan

    I tend to bleed for 17 – 20 days and I have excruciating period pains. This started at the age of 13 and has followed my entire life. I had hoped pregnancy might help but 6 weeks after giving birth sure enough agonising pains. I have tried so many therapies, pills  implant etc. And the pain each month is still so severe I missed time off school as a teenager and miss work as an adult. Every job I have had I keep a hot water bottle at my desk and painkillers in a drawer. I have had a mirena since the age of 21 and since then have not missed work due to period pains. My cycle became regular and bleeding only for 5 days. After having my son I had a 4 year break from the mirena. I realised I just couldn’t cope without it, my body hurt so much, I was exhausted and honestly just not a nice person as I was in agony so often, couldn’t sleep, didn’t want my husband touching me. I had the mirena inserted last November and I remember about 7 days later feeling like I had woken up. My foggy head cleared and I felt in control of my body again. I do get pain but it’s manageable with a hot water bottle and rest. I am happier, calmer, more patient and I feel like I have my life back. I can’t over state how much the Mirena has changed my life. It’s spectacular and I will always be grateful to the GP who initially recommended it after about 7 years of begging for help and being dismissed as “you’re female you just have to deal with it”. In terms of the pain  for me it’s thighs, bum, lower back and lower abdomen. It can been so painful I vomit from it. I feel like my whole body is stiff, exercise makes it worse. Rocking my hips on a gym ball cam help or gentle bouncing. When it’s at its worse there is no way I can work, I can barely talk and usually just end up crying. Jay

    As a teenager my period pain was severe. If my daughter experienced pain like that, I would take her to the doctor, or emergency in some cases I had. However, I was too afraid/embarrassed/shamed/whatever to tell my mom or anyone. I remember having to go into work while vomiting and hunched over in pain because my boss wouldn’t take no for an answer because I didn’t sound sick. Sharon Bales

    I’m aware that period pain can be caused by other issues than biomechanics. I know that some have PCOS or endometriosis or other conditions…but it is the same: you are sadly unlikely to get answers from mainstream medical professionals because they simply lack the training, knowledge and the tools to help you. It’s not their fault, rather it is the very narrow view of how Western culture sees the body that is to blame. As Katie Bowman explains in this article:

    “Dysmenorrhea is a pain, literally. It’s a painful period, ranging from light to severe, that can also include vomiting, diarrhoea, headache and fainting. The “primary” means that the dysmenorrhoea is not occurring simultaneously with another known pelvic pathology. (Secondary dysmenorrhoea can be created or affected by issues like endometriosis and fibroids that can cause extremely painful periods, and I know that people suffering from those conditions have likely heard a million “just do this” solutions, and I’m not trying to offer that here, although I hope that movement might relieve some part of your pain.”

    So what can you do to help with period pain? Here are some of the therapies I have personally used or heard that some had success with:

    See a bodyworker that can work on your uterus alignment. This could be an osteopath or a chiropractor or a physiotherapist who is trained in visceral osteopathy. Or you could see someone who is trained in womb massage such as an Arvigo massage or a Mizan Therapy, or a Fertility Massage practitioner. Having a closing the bones massage may help too. Make sure to get recommendation from good local practitioners.

    For the past year or so I had been suffering with debilitating period pains: I would faint, hang from my husband’s neck as if I was in labour, I’d only find relief in the bathtub where I’d be playing mermaid for at least half a day on my first day of bleeding. It got so bad I was checked for endometriosis and cervical cancer (as I also got 1 cycle with constant intermittent bleeding between 2 periods). Nothing wrong physically. After Sophie Messager mentioned her osteopath helping her with period pains to the point she is now pain free, I spoke to my chiropractor, where I’m currently going for regular sessions on another issue. For the past 2 cycles, she’s worked on my pelvis and the round ligaments holding my womb, and – touch wood – I’ve only had the slightest dull sensation on my previous cycle, not even worth calling pain, and am TOTALLY pain free in my current cycle. The difference is totally unbelievable. Ladies, if you suffer from period pain, this might be THE thing that changes everything. I already used rebozos, aromatherapy, herbal teas for myself, but nothing was even touching the edge of it. Until I got the tension in the ligaments released. I don’t even notice now, physically, that I’m on my period. (Emotionally and energy-wise I still do, and aromatherapy, herbs and rebozos still have a role to play there — but now it’s just become a week of gorgeous self-care, not a week of intense pain that makes that self-care so focused on the pain). Japjeet Rajbir Kaur Khalsa

    I personally found osteopathy and Ayurveda completely resolves my painful periods. Also reframing my understanding after reading Wild Power has been beyond powerful. Emma Hayward

    Work on your alignment (either face to face with a specialist such a physiotherapist, Pilates or yoga teacher or with an online course-see a list of courses at the end of this blog). Rosie Dhoopun is an alignment specialist. She shows you a movement routine to ease period pain here.

    Alignment and movement worked for me. Plus surprisingly using cloth pads. I even get mild cramps using a mooncup so use that infrequently. I used to suffer terribly as a child and eat a whole packet of feminax to get through. These last years I use to have such bad knee pain but all stopped since releasing tension. Isn’t it such a shame we are told it’s normal and medication is the best thing. Rosie Dhoopun

    My periods were once every 6 months. And I’d be on strong painkillers for a week to get even near function. I saw a chiropractor, switched to barefoot shoes and started stretching my calves in my 30’s which took me to regular and pain free. Philippa Wilmot

    See an acupuncturist. I have personally had great results treating infertility and recurrent miscarriages with one and I found that it helped make my period more comfortable too. Here is a review of the evidence behind the effectiveness of acupuncture for period pain by the Acupuncture council.

    See a herbalist. I saw Natasha at Forage Botanicals to help with the symptoms of the perimenopause who specialises in treating painful periods.

    See a homeopath. Here is an article with some suggestions on homeopathic remedies that might help.

    See a nutrition specialist with experience in this area. Since painful periods can be caused by too much inflammation in the body, changing your diet may help your pain.

    Nutritional therapy helped me. Period pain was crippling as a teen and rectified by the pill, which I took for ten years but it caused depression. Period pains got quite bad again slowly over the course of a few years and then stopped when I stopped smoking and did a sugar detox! My friend is a nutritional therapist, I was having bad mood swings all the time and awful cramps during my period. I wanted to try anything that would stop me needing SSRIs. She told me it was because the body can take a certain amount of stress but it has limits, so when I stopped smoking, it had better circulation and that helps with pain management and when I stopped eating sugar, less stress on my organs and hormones. Barely a cramp since. Abbi Leibert

    I found my period pain (not severe but present and very uncomfortable) almost disappeared after going vegan. Pippa Moss

    I had breakthrough bleeding in between my periods every month for nearly 3 years, I had all sorts of investigations scans biopsies nothing came back as a problem. Even had 4 miscarriages but still nothing has been found as a problem despite all the blood tests and so on. I discovered something called hair tissue mineral analysis and arrange the sample sent off I also did some additional blood tests privately. I found extensive mineral deficiencies and results consistent with hypothyroid despite normal blood results. I had a specially adapted list of supplements and dietary changes given to me by nutritional list and Six months on no breakthrough bleeding my period is so much more manageable, even more so since I discovered magnesium spray, and I have been wrapping my hips for quite some time. Still not entirely sure what our future holds in terms of pregnancies but at the moment I’m just happy with how far I’ve come in the six months. Nicola Witcombe

    Other more unusual things to try:

    Year round wild swimming (I’m not suggesting you swim in cold water during the actual bleeding when keeping warm is important), but there is mounting evidence that it does wonders to you wellbeing. It earthes you as well, see my blog on the subject.

    Try grounding yourself. Since period pain is at least in part caused by inflammation, and earthing/grounding has been shown to decrease inflammation, it may help. It can be as simple as walking or standing barefoot on the ground/grass. See a review of the evidence behind earthing in this paper.

    Try dancing. Movement has been shown to ease period pain, and boost blood flow. Conscious dance practises, such as 5rhythms, allows you to get deep into a movement that is unique to you.

    Nicky Smith, Ecstatic dance facilitator, says:

    “One thing which really helped me was movement. Our usual & natural inclination is to move away from pain & discomfort, of course! If we can move towards it, even a little, then allow the movement & expression to come from that place in our body it can give the intensity an expression which can support a release. Breathing into that place & moving on the exhale, helping our system to relax into rather than away from. The more I practise this approach the more I can move towards the pinnacle of the pain/discomfort and when I reach that edge my body will naturally start shaking. We can of course induce shaking ourselves. Another sweet release can be with our voice, giving that pain a sound, sometimes alongside movement can be a powerful medicine.”

    Ideally you would be able to see someone who is holistic in their approach and will take a case history and who can suggest an approach that covers all bases. But trying even one therapy is well worth it as it may be your first step on the road towards of a pain free period.

    As a teenager I never looked for help, because period and its pain is/was a taboo; I also lied down in a foetus position crying from pain. No pain anymore after having kids; what helped me was to accept my female body, as well as solving female ancestral karma (Closing the bones, constellation therapy, cranio-sacral therapy). So not one particular method, but rather awareness that menstrual taboos are so deep in our consciousness and that unhealed ancestral female traumas feel so painful in the body because the one/generation who becomes aware of that releases a lot of that ancestral shit with the energy of menstruation. Laura Linde

    What can you do for yourself (without seeing a therapist)

    Wrap your hips! I show you how to do this in this video. Because it supports the pelvis, the uterus and its ligaments, and because it provides warmth, wrapping your pelvis during your period may provide relief. I show a simple way of doing it in this video (there are others on my YouTube channel, and I have a blog on postnatal wrapping that is full of examples of ways to do it). Here is a blog post from Mizan Therapy explaining why it might help.

    Try switching to using reusable menstrual products. Some women report a decrease in period pain when they switched to using washable pads, period pants or a menstrual cup (There is a great YouTube channel about reusable sanitary products and menstrual cups here).

    My extremely heavy flow (so much so I couldn’t go to work 2 days at start of period, leaked through clothes etc) was helped hugely by moving to cloth sanitary protection. They say the chemicals in disposable pads increase flow. There was never a mention of the sanitary wear I used as a cause, rather the potential need for gynae reviews and long term medication. Thankfully not needed thanks to cloth sanitary products. Claire Pitchford

    My biggest healer has been switching to cloth and organic, un bleached sanitary ware and a series of womb massage sessions with Tania Meacher-Payne. She knocked my period down from 10-6 days. Life changing. I call her the womb fairy. Vikki Young

    Work on your alignment yourself.  Alignment specialist Rosie Dhoopun runs an online courses on the topic. In this video she explains a set of techniques you can do yourself.

    There is a list of things to try to decrease period pain in this blog by Katy Bowman :

    • “1.  Two days before the expected time for the flow to begin, reduce the amount of work done and increase the amount of rest.  Take a warm tub bath each evening for thirty minutes.
    • 2.  When the flow starts, go to bed and keep hot-water bottles to the feet and lower abdomen.
    • 6.  To help prevent future attacks of dysmenorrhea give attention to the following:
    • a.  Regular habits of eating, sleeping, and exercise.
    • b.  A wholesome diet, free from spices, condiments, greasy or fried food, tea and coffee, with little or no fresh food.
    • c.  Avoid tight clothing, and see that the limbs, neck, and chest are prevented from chilling.
    • d.  Correct constipation, if present.”

    Take an online course:

    Checkout some websites

    Read some books:

    Here are the ones I have read and loved.

    • Wild Power by Alexandra Pope
    • Period Power by Maisie Hill
    • The wise wound by Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove
    • Women’s bodies Women Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup
    • Moon Time by Lucy Pearce

    For supporting puberty:

    • Reaching for the moon by Lucy Pearce
    • How to support your daughter through puberty by Melonie Syrett

    And here is a collection of 28 books on the topic

    I’d love to hear about any other resources or therapies you have found useful!

  • A little bit of background about rebozos and their use to support women

    A little bit of background about rebozos and their use to support women

    I was introduced to the art of using the traditional Mexican shawl called the rebozo back in 2013 when I attended a workshop by doula Stacia Smales Hill on rebozo use for labour and birth. During the same year I also attended a workshop by Dr Rocio Alarcon, who taught a postnatal massage technique called closing the bones, some elements of which included rocking and binding with a rebozo.

    Over the course of the following years I pursued my knowledge further by doing several more workshops with Rocio, and several other rebozo workshops with different focuses, such as the rebozo for labour progress and malposition with Selina Wallis, micromovements with Francoise Freedman, 2 different spinning babies with Jennifer Walker and Gail Tully, and a workshop on healing diastasis recti  with Birthlight which included many rebozo techniques.

    I am also a babywearing instructor, and as such use rebozos and wraps to carry babies too.

    As I started teaching workshops around closing the bones and rebozo work as well as babywearing, the incredibly versatile use of the cloth really blew my mind.

    As I met people through teaching, I constantly questioned people I met about their culture’s practises, I started to build a picture in my mind of something much more universal than the rebozo.

    It seems that every culture had a piece of cloth of some kind, call it a shawl, a sarong, a scarf, or a wrap.

    Whilst the rebozo is a traditional shawl from Mexico and some South American countries, I found that other cultures used different pieces of cloths in the same fashion.

    Cold countries often us thick, woollen fabrics (think Welsh Shawl or Scottish plaid), and warmer countries, cooler, thin, cotton fabric (think African Kanga or Indonesian Sarong).

    There are almost too many fabrics to count, but one thing is for sure, women have used all sorts of cloths in incredibly versatile ways, and what I’m going to say below about the rebozo is true for many other cultures too. It’s a truly universal practise.

    I spent a few years believing that the use of the rebozo during labour was uniquely South American but I have since met a Somalian midwife who told me how they use their traditional shawl, called a Garbasar, in a similar way during labour. Supporting a pregnant woman from the same country confirmed this, and in fact her mother even showed me how it is used to bind the abdomen post birth.

    I trained a Moroccan birth worker in doing closing the bones, and she was surprised when she started offering the massage that women came forward and told her they’d had a similar treatment in the local hammam (Steam bath/wet room) after birth (using a traditional Moroccan cloth called a Mendil).  Tunisia offers a similar practise called a fouta massage (the fouta is a hammam towel, which is very similar in nature to the Turkish towel-it has become a very popular alternative to beach towels in France recently).

    I am lucky to be part of a multicultural family, being French and married to a man from Hong Kong. In Hong Kong I’ve been told they use a long piece of muslin cloth to bind the woman’s hips and abdomen after birth, and my mother in law showed me how the midwifes taught her to wrap her belly with a towel post birth.

    It’s also quite fascinating to see how contact with foreign cultures can influence each other. For example I recently acquired a Dutch postpartum girdle called a Sluitlaken. I couldn’t help but notice how similar to Indonesian postpartum binding it looks, then a friend pointed out than Holland used to have Indonesian colonies!

    So, what can you do with a rebozo (or a scarf of shawl)?

    Pretty much all cultures on the planet, some kind of cloth is used to cradle and carry a baby. In some cultures is used to rock and soothe the baby too. Rocking is such a primal rhythm we all experienced it in our mother’s womb, that we find it soothing all through our lives.  Even in Europe there are pictures of women wearing their babies in Welsh shawls which date from the 1940s.

    Later, when the baby grew into a toddler and child, she would use the cloth to dress up, pretend play (including carrying toys and/or animals, pretending to carry a baby), make a den etc.

    As the child grew into a young woman she would use the cloth as a shawl to keep warm, as a clothing accessory, a blanket, to carry siblings ( in traditional cultures women learn baby care from a very young age as they tend to live with extended families), and to carry loads on her back or head.

    Later still when she became a woman, she might have been given her own shawl as part of a menarche ceremony. She might have worn a special cloth on her wedding day.

    When she became pregnant, she would have used the shawl to support her belly, and her midwives would have used it to alleviate the aches and pains of pregnancy, and maybe to help the baby move into the best position for birth.

    During labour she would have used the shawl to hang from, to pull on, and her birth attendants would have used it to provide comfort measures, such as sifting, rocking, shaking, and wrapping.

    After the birth she would have had a “baby moon”. Again this is something pretty much universal in the world-women the world around have been alleviated from household tasks and cared for by family members for the first 30 to 40 days postpartum. During this time they would rest so they could recover from growing and birthing their baby and get to know their baby and learn to care for them. Her birth attendants and the community of women would have come to feed her nourishing food, and help her body heal from the pregnancy and birth by using  a combination of their hands, massage techniques and using the cloth to help move and bind her hips and abdomen to help them back into place. In the West we used to have this practise called “churching” whereby the new mother was expected to rest for a month before rejoining the community and be welcome back during a special blessing at the church (you can read about it here). The research I have done for my upcoming book “Why postnatal recovery matters” has also shown me that the rest AND the binding still used to be part of the UK culture, less than 70 years ago.

    She then would have start to use the cloth to carry her baby and start the cycle all over again.

    Later as she grew old, her family members would have used the cloth to rock and soothe aches and pain.

    Women would have been buried with their shawl using it as a shroud.

    So you see, a traditional cloth, rebozo, shawl or cloth can be used to support a woman throughout her whole life. It is a universal phenomenon on our planet.

    As the shawl came out of fashion and modern practises like using pushchairs became seen as more fashionable and desirable, this skill was soon lost, and because like most traditional women-only practises, it was just passed on orally rather than written about, the knowledge was lost very quickly, in one or two generations. We also tend to embrace “modern” practises mindlessly, seeing traditional ones as backwards and old fashioned.

    Mexican and Chinese friends tell me that nobody wants to use the traditional shawl or carrier these days as only remote farmers or beggars still use them.

    This is  something that we need to reclaim and teach all women, as it is part of the essence of women circles and supporting women through life transitions.

    This is why I am so passionate about passing this skills to both expectant and new mothers, and to anybody who works with expectant and new mothers. It is our birthright!

    You can learn more about the Rebozo and its many wonderful uses to support pregnancy, birth and the postpartum in my online rebozo course.

    (This is an update  from a blog I published originally in 2018)

    If you have found this blog helpful and would like to support my work and help me continue provide valuable free information to birthworkers and expectant and newborn families, you can donate to my paypal account paypal.me/SophieMessager.

  • Nurturing postpartum recipes-Chicken and red date soup

    Nurturing postpartum recipes-Chicken and red date soup

    Yesterday I cooked and delivered a traditional Chinese postpartum dish called chicken and red date soup to a new mother.

    It is a tradition I started a few years ago when I supported my first Chinese client as a birth doula. She found me by asking if there was a Chinese doula in the local community, because she wanted to follow the traditional Chinese postpartum tradition, known as “doing the month”.

    There was no Chinese doula in Cambridge, but someone told her there was a doula who was married to a Chinese and she found me.

    My Chinese husband proved unknowledgeable when it came to the dishes in question, so, in my usual birth and postpartum geek fashion, I set out to read as much as I could on the topic, and taught myself to cook a whole new bunch of traditional Chinese recipes (much to my husband’s delight).

    The first time I made the soup, my husband tasted it, looked delighted, and declared that it was “proper soup”. Then my client told me that it tasted just like what her grandma used to make. This felt like the ultimate compliment.

    I have been making that soup for some years now. I’ve made it for several new mums, who have all loved it. I’ve made it for friends post surgery as well as it’s very good for recovery and healing.

    As I made it again yesterday, I thought it would be nice to share, so others can benefit too. I also experimented for the first time making it in my instant pot (an electric pressure cooker), because it normally takes a couple of hours to make and I was pressed for time. I’m pleased to report the instant pot version tastes just as nice, so I’ll be sharing how I made that too.

    It’s made from very simple ingredients, yet it tastes delicious, and feels cleansing too.

    It has 6 ingredients: Chicken, onion, carrots, ginger, red dates (also known as jujubes-you can find these online or in Asian supermarkets), and goji berries.

    In my usual fashion, I also set out to find some science behind the ingredients, especially the red dates and goji berries. My research left me somewhat disappointed because I’ve found lots of references to traditional Chinese medicine, and also some published research showing what nutrients are available in them, but nothing bridging the gap, i.e. explaining how those nutrients affect hormones and blood flow and healing.

    The Chinese medicine states that red dates are known to increase Qi (life energy), and help nourish  the blood and bring relaxation. Another important aspect of the Chinese postpartum (which I have found to be a worldwide practise), is to keep the new mother warm, and the ginger, red dates and goji berries do just that, as they are considered to be warming to the body. The traditional Chinese postpartum guidelines stress the importance of avoiding cold (literally, no cold drinks), as well as foods considered “cold” after birth.

    Here is an article explaining their health benefits from the Chinese medicine perspective

    I’ve also found some published research that red dates are sedative, anti-oxidant, and anti-inflammatory

    How to make the soup

    I use a modified version of the recipe from the book “The first 40 days” by Heng Ou.  You can also find it in my book Why Postnatal Recovery Matters

    Ingredients

    • 2 pounds whole chicken or chicken parts (I like to use thighs as they are easier to shred than drumsticks, it’s best if they have bones)
    • 1 onion, peeled
    • 2 inches fresh ginger, peeled and halved
    • 3 medium carrots, peeled and thinly sliced
    • 5 Chinese red dates (you can find these online or in Asian supermarkets, you need these to get the benefits as normal dates do not have the same medicinal properties)
    • 3 tablespoons dried goji berries
    • salt to taste

    Preparation (the slow, stovetop way)

    1. Place the chicken in a medium pot, and add enough cold water to cover the meat. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, uncovered.
    2. Once boiling, add the onion and ginger. Season to taste. Reduce the heat to medium, cover, and cook for 40 minutes. Remove the lid occasionally to skim any foam off the top and discard.
    3. Remove from the heat. Move the chicken to a plate to cool. Shred the chicken meat with 2 forks. Place 1-2 cups of the shredded chicken back in the pot.
    4. Add the carrots and dates to the pot, and simmer over low heat, uncovered, for 45 minutes. Add the goji berries and cook an additional 15 minutes. Season with salt to taste.
    5. To serve, remove the chicken, shred the meat, discard the bones and return the shredded meat to the pan. Serve in bowls

    Preparation (the fast, instant pot, or pressure cooker way)

    1. Put all the ingredients in the pot, cover with water
    2. Cook (using soup mode on your instant pot) for 35 min
    3. Do a quick steam release.
    4. Shred the chicken meat, and place back into the soup.
    5. Taste for seasoning as add salt as needed
    6. Serve in bowls, making sure each bowl has a red date in it

    I had a go at making a veggie version too :

    Whilst you cannot quite replace chicken in terms of taste, I experimented with adding several ingredients I knew would add umami flavours so the soup, so it still tasted nourishing and delicious:

    Ingredients (feel free to use diffferent vegs):

    • one leek
    • 3 medium sized carrots
    • 2 onions (1 red, 1 yellow)
    • a few cabbage leaves
    • a tablespoon of miso paste
    • a tablespoon of dark soy sauce
    • a tablespoon of marmite
    • a dash of Worcestershire sauce
    • 5 Chinese red dates
    • 3 tablespoons dried goji berries
    • salt to taste

    Preparation

    1. Peel, prep and chop veggies
    2. Add all ingredients together to a saucepan
    3. Cover with water
    4. Heat up until boiling then cook covered on low for 40 min
    5. You can either serve as is, or you could strain and just serve the broth (in this case put one of the red dates in each bowl)

    If you are a new mum, and you’d like the benefits of the red dates without the time prep of the soup, you can also make red date tea, by placing 2 or 3 red dates (you can add goji berries and ginger too) in a cup of boiling water, and steeping for a few minutes. You can eat them afterwards too.

    It is also supposed to be a good support to menstruation.

    If you are vegetarian or vegan and fancy trying this soup, you could replace the chicken by some tofu or vegetables of your choice.

    I have found that traditional postpartum practises the world over include rest, support, good nutrition and postpartum specific bodywork. One of my goals is to try and find out what traditional English and French dishes would have been served to new mothers, so please comment if you know, and I’d love to hear about any traditional dishes from around the world too.

    If you would like to learn more about preparing for the postpartum, as well as my book, Why postnatal recovery matters, I have created an online course called How to prepare for a nurturing postpartum.

    Here’s what’s included in How to Prepare for a Nurturing Postpartum:

    • Understanding the postpartum period – Why this time is crucial for long-term well-being.
    • Essential postpartum needs – Learn the key elements that support deep recovery.
    • Practical planning – How to create a postpartum plan that truly nurtures.
    • Food & nourishment – Discover the best foods and drinks for healing and energy.
    • Physical recovery & rest – Tips for supporting the body’s healing journey.
    • Emotional well-being – Strategies to navigate the emotions of new motherhood.
    • Support network – How to ask for and receive help with confidence.
    • Honouring cultural traditions – Insights into postpartum care from around the world.

    This course gives you everything you need to feel held, nourished, and prepared for a truly restorative postpartum.

  • Why I want to change the nature of postnatal support

    Why I want to change the nature of postnatal support

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”3.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]

    Earlier this week I wrote a blog that’s been playing on my mind for many years. It’s called “why I wish I had hired a postnatal doula“

    In this blog I explain how challenging I found new motherhood, how lonely and upset I felt through those early weeks and how I longed for some support but failed to reach out because of a mix of shame for not loving every minute of being a mother, and feeling like I couldn’t justify the expense.

    As a doula, I witness the same challenge in new mothers. Sometimes I do not even know they are struggling until weeks later, because, whilst they sit in the same pit of discomfort and shame as I did, thinking they are the only one that struggle, they don’t usually reach out for help do they?

    I have written before about the topic of making a postnatal recovery plan, and about what new mothers really need, and you’re not meant to be doing this on your own (hint: it’s not flowers or stuffed bears).

    The wisdom in traditional postpartum practises around the world is very simple really, it boils down to 4 main elements of support for the mother:

    • Rest (someone takes care of the chores)
    • Food ( someone takes care of cooking good, nutritious meals)
    • Social support (the new mother is never alone at home with a baby)
    • Bodywork (someone massages the new mother, along with wrapping her hips/abdomen)

    I have a strong urge to write more about this, to spread the word further, I have a list of blogs as long as my arm about this topic, and in fact I now am thinking I need to write a book, or possibly more than one book, about this topic. Something easy to share, I might start with an ebook, like the one I have already written about rebozo techniques.

    I’m a knowledge junkie, so since I started learning about some postpartum practises, I’ve asked everybody I’ve met about the traditional practices from their country, and you know what, every continent in the world has some form of specific nurturing, specific foods, and bodywork and wrapping.

    After all, you’ve not only grown and birthed a whole new human, your body has accommodated this through tremendous changes.

    During pregnancy, the uterus grows from the size of a pear to the size of a watermelon (pushing abdominal organs out of the way, changing the shape of your muscles, ligaments and spine as it does so), then back again after birth.

    It seems crazy to me that nobody makes sure that all the organs, muscles, joints and ligaments have safely returned where they belong.

    I bake a groaning cake for all mothers I support, and sometimes make a traditional Chinese chicken soup too (my husband is from Hong Kong, and there is still a very strong postpartum nurturing culture there)

    Learning to massage and wrap new mothers had lead me onto a journey of discovery about postpartum practises, got me to work closely with an osteopath, create a new type of massage, and develop my skills in an apprenticeship manner. The two combined led me to develop a deep practical knowledge of what happens to women bodies after birth.

    This has fuelled a fire that makes me want to shout from the rooftops that what we get in the Western world just isn’t good enough, and want to work hard to change that.

    If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn some of these nurturing skills, I am running some Rebozo and Postnatal Recovery Massage courses in July-see https://sophiemessager.com/workshops-birth-professionals/

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

  • Confessions of a hippy scientist : 3 years on.

    Confessions of a hippy scientist : 3 years on.

    Three years ago today, I published a blog call “confessions of a hippy scientist“.

    In this blog, I came out as a science meets woo person, something I had shied away from for a couple of years.

    You see I’ve got a PhD in biology and spend 20 years working as a research scientist.

    When I left my scientific career to become a doula (back in 2012), being at births and feeling the incredible powerful energy in the room, combined with hanging out with a lot of spiritual birthworkers, led me to want to develop my energy healing abilities further.

    Back in 2003 I had undergone Reiki Level 1 training. In 2015 I took it to level 2 then master teacher level.

    After training and starting to offer healing to people on a regular basis, I agonised over showing this side of myself to the world.

    Doula clients told me they’d picked me because of my scientific background, which wasn’t surprising as Cambridge is full of medics and scientists. They felt reassured by it and I understood that.

    I worried a lot about putting people off if I chose to show my woo underbelly.

    I even went as far as considering a separate website for my Reiki work!

    Luckily someone challenged me to “come out”, and I wrote the blog I mention above.

    It felt very vulnerable to publish it, yet the post only got amazing responses, mostly from people who felt the same as me and thanked for it. It helped others on their way to embracing their full selves.

    Something magical happened in my work too, as I started getting clients who were more aligned with my true self.

    Because you see, when you show your true self, it puts some people off, but these aren’t the people you want to work with.

    Instead, you start attracting people who are much more aligned with who you are.

    For instance, a birth client who had told me she didn’t want any hippy stuff, asked for several Reiki treatments after birth. When I asked her what had made her change her mind, she said “before the birth I didn’t get it, but now I do”, which was a complete reflection of my own journey.

    So where am I now 3 years after this “coming out” blog?

    First of all, I have now embraced who I am so much that I cannot believe that I used to feel the need to hide this side of myself.

    I still work with a lot of scientists and medics (I’m still in Cambridge after all), but somehow my alternative side is never an issue.

    I’m getting a lot more woo clients too, which I love. This year I have finally ticked my bucket list wish of drumming during a birth, and I have also been hired specifically by someone who wants me to drum at their birth. It feels very good and exciting.

    I’m also being hired to organise mother blessings and group closing the bones ceremonies, as opposed to just doing them for friends.

    I’m still a scientist, and always will be be. I love nothing more than providing clients with evidence based links, especially when those help them make truly informed decisions about their care, and challenge population based hospital policies.

    Last year, I spent several months reviewing the research on the aging of the placenta and wrote this blog  mostly because I got fed up of seeing non scientific birthworkers friends being bamboozled by jargon, and to show that things aren’t quite a simple as the “experts” say.

    To write it I had to put my old scientist hat firmly back on and spend many hours reading the research. I realised I found doing this, that I found it tedious and dry. This is no longer who I am, and I’m really glad I’m not working in academia anymore. Today I’m able to unapologetically embrace who I am, and no longer feel that I need to know everything.

    As I write this, I realise that I already felt this way when I was a budding scientist, early during my PhD. I remember my supervisor implying that I had to know everything and that I was incompetent if I didn’t. What a load of tosh! Something in me already knew this wasn’t true. I also remember questioning the way scientific papers were written under the same rigid rules and not liking it. I found reading papers for the sake it really tedious even then. I guess I always was a bit of a maverick, and someone who questions everything.

    Between 2008 and 2012, as I trained for my diploma in antenatal education, I learnt about the way we learn, and it makes so much more sense to me. You simply cannot force knowledge into people, by pouring it into their heads.

    Interestingly, I feel that my scientific knowledge is now kept fresh and alive by the multitude of clients I supports and all their wide and varied needs. Because I love nothing more than finding scientific evidence for clients, I find myself reading avidly on their behalf, and the knowledge sticks because there is a positive and emotionally investment behind my looking for it.

    I’m still a hippy, in fact more than ever! I’ve carried on developing my more spiritual skills since I wrote the original blog. In 2017, made a shamanic drum at a very spiritual workshop, for the purpose of healing around pregnancy and birth. I then took a Reiki Drum training course shortly after that, and using my drum for healing and holding groups etc has become completely normal and natural to me. I’ve had two Reiki training upgrades. I have even stopped shying away from using my drum as standard in my closing the bones treatments (I used to give people the option to have it or not, now I just tell them it’s part of the treatment). Using Reiki treatment is part of my everyday life.

    What I’ve found has happened is my energy work offering, which started being a neat Reiki thing, has morphed into my own style of blended healing, which is completely intuitive, and doesn’t actually have a proper name or fit in a box, but it’s mine and I love it.

    Rather than offering energy work as a standalone I now weave it in and out of my birth and postnatal practise as and when feels appropriate.

    The call to embrace and develop my inner healer is extremely strong. It feels without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I’m headed.

    To make room for this I ended up dropping hats that no longer fitted me, that I felt I had outgrown. For instance I left my role as an NCT teacher.

    I’m also slowly letting go of my teaching of babywearing. I still love supporting parents using slings, but I dropped running a sling clinic and I’m also letting go to actively teaching babywearing peer supporter courses-because whilst I still enjoy it, it doesn’t fill my soul with joy the way facilitating more spiritual work like closing the bones does.

    The thing I love above all is blending my own cocktail of science and woo.

    I trained with Spinning babies since I wrote the blog, twice, and I use a combination of their techniques which I apply in a very scientific way, together with tuning in to what I feel and see happens energetically to the mother during labour. I have experienced true miracles in using this unusual mix.

    Perhaps the one thing that exemplifies this above all, is that I just finished developing an entirely new massage technique inspired by closing the bones, together with Teddy Brookes the osteopath. We called it the postnatal recovery massage. It combines massage, energy work and osteopathy. We teach it together, and the feedback we have received reflects exactly that. To quote Charlotte, a doula who attended our first training :

    ” Sophie and Teddy have taken all that is special about it and fused her energy-work approach with his osteopathic technique to create something extraordinary.”

    Openly embracing who I am with all my paradoxes and quirks has been the most liberating journey ever.

    I am a scientist but I am also an energy healer. I am proud of it. It’s what makes me unique.

    If being a doula has taught me one thing, it’s that we are ALL full of paradoxes and quirks and uniqueness.

    Nobody fits nicely into a neat little box.

    I want to support others in this journey of embracing themselves, and this is a massive reason being my recently becoming a doula course leader.

    When we celebrate rather than shame our uniqueness, this has tremendous power, both for ourselves and everybody around us.

  • Postnatal Recovery Massage, a new kind of postnatal massage inspired by closing the bones.

    Postnatal Recovery Massage, a new kind of postnatal massage inspired by closing the bones.

    I’ve been offering and teaching a postnatal massage called closing the bones since 2014.

    I never intended to teach this technique, I just wanted to share it with my community as we had been urged to do.

    But then women started to ask us to show them. So we put together a workshop.

    Since we started we have grown organically and have now trained nearly 400 people in providing this amazing nurturing ritual.

    I hope to use this media to help change the face of the postnatal support in the UK with this, towards a mother centered one.

    Over the last couple of years more and more people who had trained to do the massage started contacting me, asking if it would be possible to provide a version of the massage on a massage table instead of on the floor (we normally practise on yoga mats), because they had bad knees, or bad backs, and found working on the floor difficult.

    I have a bit of a theme in my professional life, that I seem to always end up teaching stuff because people ask me to!

    So I had a chat with my lovely local osteopath friend Teddy (who had already provided all the anatomical and effectiveness knowledge for the workshop handout, and therefore already knew the technique inside out), if he fancied the idea of developing a massage table version of the technique with me.

    He liked the idea a lot so we started working on it. This was about 18 months ago, in summer 2017.

    This was a true work of love, and in the end it took us over a year and many sessions of practise and hours of trial and error to get it working.

    This is how each session would go: I would setup both a massage table and a yoga mat on the floor. Teddy and I would try each technique on the floor then on the table, taking turns giving and receiving each technique.

    I would record the session and make some notes. After each session I’d listen to the recording paying attention to what Teddy said, and write down questions and make more notes for what to practise/change at the next session.

    At the beginning we did get plenty of stuff wrong. I think I was so intent of getting the exact same treatment on the table as on the floor, that this got in the way. Teddy has much deeper knowledge of body function than I do, so he had to explain to me repeatedly why some of the stuff that was done standing up or crouching over a person lying down simply couldn’t be done from the side of a table, due to biomechanics.

    We tried and tried. The most challenging part were the rebozo rocking and the hip squeezing. It was challenging because of the biomechanics (you can’t produce much force when you’re on the side compare to standing above a person), and because I wanted the technique to do the same thing to the body, but also to feel good.

    Teddy wanted to make sure the technique was safe and effective but also easy on the body of the therapist (a basic rule for bodyworkers).

    It proved extremely frustrating at time. Many times we thought we had got it but when we revisited it didn’t feel right and so we were back to square one. Some techniques worked mechanistically but just didn’t feel nice so they were discarded.

    It was also a fun experience and a huge learning curve for me, especially as Teddy educated me on how to position my body for maximum power and effectiveness around the table, something I am still learning to master.

    The real magic happened when I finally let go of it being exactly the same. Teddy had tried to explain to me repeatedly that it wasn’t necessary (that we were aiming for the same effect) but I am a perfectionist and like things to be “just right”

    One day we finally worked out a way to make the rocking work from the side.

    From then on everything seemed to flow magically.

    As we progressed we also ended up modifying and adding several elements to the massage.

    Some were based on discussion about the effectiveness of a technique and how to make it work more easily.

    Some were based on the changes in the pregnant body that weren’t treated as part of the original massage, namely treating the ribs (which flare during pregnancy), and the shoulders (which hunch during pregnancy and often during breastfeeding as well).

    Some just happened because it felt logical to add them to the flow of the movements we had created.

    In the end we ended up with a massage which is inspired from the original technique but is really quite different. I did it for the first time on a doula friend and she loved it. We added a few more movements after that. I also practised on my massage therapists friend Emma Kenny, a massage therapist, who loved it too.

    We named it the Postnatal Recovery Massage (PRM).

    We finished our individual practise work at the beginning of October, and we then went on teaching it to a small group of guinea pigs, composed of 2 doulas and 2 massage therapists.

    We all had a very fun morning of practise teaching this new techniques, and all our guinea pigs loved it.

    This is what they said:

    “Knowing Sophie and Teddy as I do, I knew they would design something that is both relaxing and effective. I was not prepared for how beautifully the movements flow into each other, and how true to the spirit of Closing the Bones they have stayed. For people who find floor work tiring or painful, I highly recommend learning these new techniques” Maddie, Doula.

    ” This new version of the postnatal ceremony blends effective rebozo (shawl) massage techniques and lymphatic drainage massage to support post natal mamas. Rather fabulous it is too!” Emma Kenny, Massage therapist.

    “I think one if the reasons I like the massage that you have developed for the table as it feels like a modern way of adapting the traditional massage. It feels like a new technique, a therapists technique. I also like being able to connect to the anatomical benefits. I want to practise giving the massage and feel newly inspired.” Katie, Doula

    We are now putting the final touches to the handout for this new technique, complete with my signature set of description, pictures, videos, and an explanation of the effect of each movement on the body by Teddy.

    This should be ready by sometimes in December and we are looking forward to teaching this workshop together in the new year.

    The first workshop will take place in Cambridge on Saturday the 5th of January.

    I can’t wait to introduce more people to this amazing technique!

    Update January 2019.

    Teddy and I taught our first course last Saturday. The course was extremely well received by our trainees. Here is some of the feedback they gave us

    “What a wonderful, professional, well constructed and instructive course with plenty of time for step by step practical, complemented by Teddy’s expertise and Sophie’s organic shamanism and such a wonderful community of like minded body workers. Thank you. Thoroughly recommended” Jenni Tribe, Therapist

    “Thank you so much for an informative and inspiring day. I can’t wait to use the techniques on my clients and support women more effectively. You are doing an amazing work and I’m so grateful ad excited to be part of it!” Grace Lillywhite, Pilates teacher.

    “I loved this course. It is just as nurturing as the closing the bones massage but much easier to do. Sophie and Teddy worked amazingly well together” Michelle Parkin, doula.

    “The course was well organised, very informative and easy to follow. The level of practical support was fantastic and I feel confident to take what I  have learnt and help local women postnatally. Thank you!” Becki Scott, doula and massage therapist.

    “Amazing workshop! Loved being in a small group to work through techniques in enough details. As an osteopath this experience has been invaluable in improving my practise if postnatal patient , in fact all of my patients!” Rob Ballard, osteopath

    “Amazing. Thank you both so much. More than the sum of the parts. Just lovely” Charlotte Filcek, doula.

    “The tutoring, the technique, the group, just exceptional!” Alison Duff, therapist and therapy centre owner.

     

  • Rebozos, shawls and scarves : the lost art of supporting women through the childbearing years

    Rebozos, shawls and scarves : the lost art of supporting women through the childbearing years

    RebozosI was introduced to the art of using a traditional Mexican shawl called a rebozo to comfort birthing women at my doula course by Maddie McMahon in 2008.

    Whilst I developed my antenatal and doula career, in my usual, knowledge junkie style, whislst I learn to use the tool for myself, I decided to learn as much as I could about this magic tool by attending training.

    Over the my first few years as a doula, I pursued my knowledge further by learning from several doula colleagues (I am especially grateful to doula Bridget Baker who showed me how to properly wrap a rebozo around a pregnant woman’s belly during a doula UK AGM).

    I attended my first formal workshop with Stacia Smales Hill on rebozo use for labour and birth in 2013. In the same year I also attended a workshop by Rocio Alarcon called closing the bones, a postnatal massage technique  which included rocking and binding with a rebozo.

    Frustration over long and difficult labours, and especially malpositioned babies led me to seek more specialist training,  such as the rebozo for labour progress and malposition with Selina Wallis, micromovements with Francoise Freedman, and 2 iterations of different levels of spinning babies with Jennifer Walker and Gail Tully.

    As my experienced developed I also brought more focus towards postpartum support, and recently attended a workshop on healing diastasis recti with Birthlight which included many rebozo techniques.

    I am also a babywearing instructor and tutor, and as such use rebozos and wraps to carry babies too.

    I started facilitating workshops around this topic because people asked me to. Repeatedly.  At first, I refused, as I didn’t feel qualified or experienced enough. But after a few years of constantly using this amazing tool in my birth work and my antenatal and babywearing classes, and seeing how the incredibly versatile such a simple piece cloth could be, and the miraculous experiences that ensued, I finally felt ready to start teaching workshops around this topic, because I had so many positive experiences I felt I needed to share this skill with others.

    As I met people through teaching, I constantly questioned people I met about their culture’s practises, I started to build a picture in my mind of something much more universal than the rebozo.

    It seems that every culture has (or had) a piece of cloth of some kind, call it a shawl, a sarong, a scarf, or a wrap.

    Cold countries have thick, woollen fabrics (think Welsh Shawl or Scottish plaid), and warmer countries, cooler, thin, cotton fabric (think African Kanga or Indonesian Sarong).

    There are almost too many fabrics to count, but one thing is for sure, women have used all sorts of cloths in incredibly versatile ways, and what I’m going to say below about the rebozo is true for many other cultures too. It’s a truly universal practise.

    I spent a few years believing that the rebozo use for labour was uniquely South American but I have since met a Somalian midwife who told me how they use their traditional shawl, called a Garbasar, in a similar way during labour.

    I trained a Moroccan birth worker in doing closing the bones, and she was surprised when she started offering the massage that women came forward and told her they’d had a similar treatment in the local hammam after birth (using the traditional Moroccan cloth called a Mendil).  Tunisia offers a similar practise called a fouta massage (the fouta is a hammam towel, which is very similar in nature to the Turkish towel).

    I am lucky to be part of a multicultural family, being French and married to a man from Hong Kong. In Hong Kong I’ve been told they use a long piece of muslin cloth to bind the woman’s hips and abdomen after birth, and my mother in law also showed me how she was taught how to use a towel to bind her hips and abdomen after birth.

    It’s also quite fascinating to see how contact with foreign cultures can influence each other. For example I recently acquired a Dutch postpartum girdle called a Sluitlaken. I couldn’t help but notice how similar to Indonesian postpartum binding it looks, then a friend pointed out than Holland used to have Indonesian colonies!

    So, what can you do with a rebozo, shawl or scarf of shawl?

    Pretty much all cultures on the planet, some kind of cloth is used to cradle and carry a baby. In some cultures is used to rock and soothe the baby too. Rocking is such a primal rhythm we all experienced it in our mother’s womb, that we find it soothing all through our lives.  Even in Europe there are pictures of women wearing their babies in Welsh shawls which date from the 1940s.

    Later, when the baby grew into a toddler and child, she would use the cloth to dress up, pretend play (including carrying toys and/or animals, pretending to carry a baby), make a den etc.

    As the child grew into a young woman she would use the cloth as a shawl to keep warm, as a clothing accessory, a blanket, to carry siblings ( in traditional cultures women learn baby care from a very young age as they tend to live with extended families), and to carry loads on her back or head.

    Later still when she became a woman, she might have been given her own shawl as part of a menarche ceremony. She might have worn a special cloth on her wedding day.

    When she became pregnant, she would have used the shawl to support her belly, and her midwives would have used it to alleviate the aches and pains of pregnancy, and maybe to help the baby move into the best position for birth.

    During labour she would have used the shawl to hang from, to pull on, and her birth attendants would have used it to provide comfort measures, such as sifting, rocking, shaking, and wrapping.

    After the birth she would have had a “baby moon”. Again this is something pretty much universal in the world-women the world around have been alleviated from household tasks and cared for by family members for the first 30 to 40 days postpartum. During this time they would rest so they could recover from growing and birthing their baby and get to know their baby and learn to care for them. Her birth attendants and the community of women would have come to feed her nourishing food, and close her bones and help her body heal from the pregnancy and birth by using  a combination of their hands, massage techniques and using the cloth to help move and bind her hips and abdomen to help them back into place. In the UK we used to have this practise called “churching” you can read about it here 

    She then would have started to use the cloth to carry her baby and start the cycle all over again.

    Later as she grew old, her family members would have used the cloth to rock and soothe aches and pain.

    Women would have been buried with their shawl using it as a shroud.

    So you see, a traditional cloth, rebozo, shawl or cloth can be used to support a woman throughout her whole life. It is a universal phenomenon on our planet.

    As the shawl came out of fashion and modern practises like using pushchairs became seen as more fashionable and desirable, this skill was soon lost, and because like most traditional women-only practises, it was just passed on orally rather than written about, the knowledge was lost very quickly, in one or two generations. We also tend to embrace “modern” practises mindlessly, seeing traditional ones as backwards and old fashioned.

    Mexican and Chinese friends tell me that nobody wants to use the traditional shawl or carrier these days as only remote farmers or beggars still use them. And certainly my recent trip to Hong Kong showed me that it took less than 15 years for the traditional baby carriers to have been almost forgotten and  superseded by more modern, yet less ergonomical, models.

    This is  something that we need to reclaim and teach all women, as it is part of the essence of women circles and supporting women through life transitions.

    This is why I am so passionate about passing this skill to both expectant and new mothers, and to anybody who works with expectant and new mothers. It is our birthright!

    How fitting is it that my friend Awen Clement just wrote this poem, for me it sums up everything the use of the rebozo is about.

    “We are all weavers

    Life is a cloth
    our stories the threads
    carried across the warp by breath 
    and memory
    Every soul
    unique in its tapestry
    with tangles unpicked 
    and rewoven anew
    A rainbow of colour
    where our threads meet others
    and when we take our last breath
    love will weave the ends”

    (C) Awen Clement 2018

    You can learn more about rebozo and its many wonderful uses in my online course