Closing the Bones: Ritual Healing for Life Transitions

You may have heard of the Closing the Bones massage ritual for postpartum recovery, but did you know it can also help with healing after loss and trauma, support transitions, and soothe the nervous system, especially for neurodivergent women?

In our modern world, we often forget the power of traditional healing traditions. Closing the Bones is one of those rituals that offers deep healing beyond words. It holds space for the body, mind and spirit to come back into balance.

Rooted in traditions from all over the world, this ritual has helped women through major life changes for centuries. It’s not just for new mothers. It can help with grief, trauma, illness, and any time of beginning or ending. It provides a safe space to rest, release and reconnect with yourself.

Closing the Bones uses gentle rocking movements using scarves, massage, wrapping, and symbolic ritual. In my version, I also use texts, songs, energy healing and drumming . It’s a quiet, nourishing experience that helps people feel safe and held. The ritual can be offered one-to-one or in a group setting. I’ve offered this ritual to hundreds of women and trained over 1,000 practitioners and witnessed again and again how powerful it is.

What is Closing the Bones?

Closing the Bones is a traditional postpartum ritual. It’s best known from its South American culture origins, but versions of it exist(ed) in every continents including in Europe and other parts of the world too. It involves gently rocking the body with scarves, massaging the abdomen and chest (and sometimes the whole body), and wrapping scarves around the body in a particular sequence. In some cultures, it also includes a steam bath or sweat lodge. I always include drumming.

The ritual helps:

• Physically, by bringing movement into joints, tissues and fluids
• Emotionally, by offering space to rest and be witnessed
• Spiritually, by marking a transition or closure and gathering back your energy

This practice supports healing during many of life’s transitions, not just postpartum.

Here are some of the ways I’ve used it, both personally and professionally:

• Menarche, Motherhood, Menopause These three big changes in a woman’s life are often ignored or seen as inconvenient. But they’re powerful rites of passage. As Jane Hardwicke Collings says: “Anything to do with women, or the feminine that is put down, ridiculed, feared, or made invisible, is a clue that it holds great power.” Closing the Bones honours and witnesses these transitions.
• Conception and Fertility This ritual has helped many women on their fertility journeys. It can be used to support conception or as part of conscious conception work.
• New Beginnings or Endings From marriage to divorce, career changes to birthdays, any new beginning or ending can be supported with this ritual. It creates a space to pause, reflect and honour what is changing.
• Loss I have supported many women after miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth and other forms of loss. It can also help with grieving a loved one, a community, or a version of yourself. It provides a gentle and sacred space for mourning and healing. Read my article about this.
• Trauma I’ve used this ritual to support healing from birth trauma, sexual trauma, accidents and emotional crises. I’ve received it myself in a very difficult time, and it made a huge difference. You can read more in my post on ADHD and the kindness boomerang.
• Neurodivergence and Nervous System Support Many neurodivergent people struggle with nervous system regulation. This ritual helps the body learn what it feels like to be safe. My daughter, who is autistic, has always loved it. Only later did I realise how connected it was. The wrapping especially helps calm and contain big feelings. It’s also helped many of the neurodivergent children and adults I’ve worked with.
• Recovering from Illness Whether it’s chronic illness, long-term fatigue, or even end-of-life care, Closing the Bones can bring comfort and support to the body and soul.
• A different approach to mental health Western models of mental health often focus only on the mind. But trauma lives in the body. This ritual helps without needing to talk. The body gets to release, integrate and find peace. There’s no need to share your story unless you want to. That’s one of the things people appreciate the most.

The ritual uses gentle pressure, rocking, massage and wrapping to create a sense of safety. It calms the nervous system, helps the body release stored stress and trauma, and brings deep rest. The symbolic elements, like the tightening of the scarves around the body and the drumming, help people feel a sense of completion and rebirth.

Want to learn or receive this ritual?

If you work with women or support people through big life transitions, and you want to offer this ritual, I have an in-person training coming up near Cambridge:

• Closing the Bones –6&7th September 2025

I also offer an online course version of the ritual if you cannot travel.

I am running a free online masterclass about closing the bones for life transitions on Tuesday the 5th of August at 8pm UK time.

If you’d like to receive the ritual yourself, I’m based in Cambridge, UK, and cover within a 30 min radius of my home. I’ve trained over 1,000 practitioners in person and can likely help you find someone near you.

As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, the video below shows a taster example of what my ceremony looks like