Between Becoming: A Guide to Navigating Life’s Transitions

Change is the only constant in life, yet we’re rarely taught how to move through it with ease. Whether we’re facing career shifts, relationship changes, health challenges, or the natural transitions of the phases of womanhood, these liminal spaces—the in-between times—can feel both terrifying and sacred.

Navigating Change

I’m just back from my first ever festival, Buddhafield, where I had a fantastic time attending several transformative rituals and workshops. In one of these workshops, a Blue Lotus ritual, the facilitator explained that we’re at the cusp of a new 12-year energetic cycle, which started on July 22nd. She asked us to remember where we were 12 years ago.

I realised that 12 years ago was when I attended my first birth as a doula and also began my perimenopause journey. This realisation helped me understand why I’ve felt at the cusp of something completely new in my work for the last few weeks.

What feels even more significant is that I’m now approaching menopause itself. My last period was in October last year, so if I haven’t bled again by this October, I will have truly crossed that bridge—a very significant one.

Perimenopause has been a deeply uncomfortable and turbulent rite of passage for me, much more so than motherhood. It’s been a time of deep unlayering, healing, and questioning. Two quotes have particularly resonated with me during this time:

“At menarche a girl meets her power, through menstruation she practices her power, at menopause she becomes her power.” — First Nations American saying, shared by Jane Hardwicke Collings

“Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you ‘I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.’” — Brené Brown

I have a new book about how drumming supports women’s wellbeing coming out in September, with launch events and new offerings planned for autumn. I’m also having a new website built to reflect my change of direction. I can feel the energy of something new coming—it feels very powerful—but I don’t yet know exactly what shape or form this will take. For someone used to having control, this uncertainty is difficult. There’s also the added stress of reduced income during this transition.

I’m still in the limbo phase, before something else is born. Much like when I was a first-time mother waiting for labour to start (my first child was born two weeks after the “due date”), or as a doula waiting for clients to go into labor, I oscillate between moments of peaceful, quiet acceptance and deep frustration and impatience. If I’m totally honest, there are more challenging days than peaceful ones.

How We Navigate Periods of Accelerated Change

So how do we move through times when we don’t know where life is taking us? When everything feels uncertain and we’re suspended between what was and what’s coming?

One crucial aspect is remembering that when we feel dysregulated and stressed, we tend to scramble, grasp, react, and seek knee-jerk solutions. This happens because when we enter fight-or-flight mode, we lose access to the part of our brain that does rational thinking. In survival mode, we’re run by the ancient, more primitive parts of our brain.

I keep having to remind myself of this. Re-regulation is key. I need to notice when I’m dysregulated or panicking about things.

For me—and I’m sure this is true for many of you—experiencing mental chatter is usually a clear sign that I’m dysregulated.

The key to navigating these periods of change is to create moments of peace in your day, to prioritise this, so you can stay present and grounded.

The Traffic Light System for Self-Awareness

The simplest way to understand and practice noticing your state is to think of it like a traffic light:

Green is the ideal state: relaxed, present, socially engaged.

Orange is fight-or-flight: wanting to run away, avoid tasks, getting frustrated/annoyed.

Red is freeze or collapse: stuck, not wanting to do anything at all.

The key is noticing when you’re moving into the orange state before you hit red, because it’s easier to shift from orange to green than from red to green.

Tools for Re-regulation

I’m a big believer that we are all unique, so what works for me may not work for you. I suggest trying a range of approaches to see what resonates:

Movement & Body-Based Practices:

• Go for a walk (even 5 minutes makes a difference)
• Dance for a few minutes (put on music you love and move)
• Sway your hips for 5 minutes
• Stand or walk barefoot on grass/earth for 5 minutes
• Go for a swim (wild swimming always works for me but this needs more time)

Grounding & Sensory Practices:

• Massage or wrap yourself with a scarf (try rebozo self-care techniques)
• Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste
• Diffuse or sniff uplifting or calming essential oils
• Go outside in nature, even just to a garden or park

Creative & Meditative Practices:

• Craft or draw something (even for just 5 minutes)
• Doodle your feelings: draw a person with thought bubbles and download all your thoughts without censoring
• Drum or listen to a calming drum track (5 minutes)- or if you want something longer, I have recorded a 20 min drum journey called Birthing something new)
• Meditate for 5-10 minutes (often easier with guided meditations using free apps like Insight Timer)
• Set a timer for 3 minutes and write/think/speak a gratitude list

Other Supportive Practices:

• Cuddle or play with a pet if you have one
• Practice the physiological sigh—one of the most effective, fastest techniques to reduce anxiety (3-5 minutes)
• Smudge yourself and/or your space (I like Palo Santo or Mugwort incense)
• Take rescue remedy (drops or pastilles)

Conclusion: Trusting the Process of Becoming

As I write this, I’m reminded that transformation is rarely linear or comfortable. We live in a culture that prizes certainty, control, and quick fixes, but life’s most deepest changes happen in the messy middle—in the space between who we were and who we’re becoming.

The ancient wisdom traditions understood something we’ve forgotten: that liminal spaces are sacred containers. They’re where the real work of transformation happens. Like a caterpillar dissolving in the chrysalis before emerging as a butterfly, we too must sometimes completely let go of our old forms before our new selves can emerge.

Maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate the discomfort of not knowing, but to learn to be more comfortable with discomfort itself. To trust that even when we can’t see the path ahead, we can take the next right step. To remember that periods of transition, however challenging, are often the precursors to our greatest growth and most authentic expressions of who we’re meant to be.

The practices I’ve shared aren’t magic bullets—they’re tools for staying present with ourselves through the storm. They help us remember that even in uncertainty, we have the capacity to regulate our nervous systems, to find moments of peace and joy, and to trust the process of our own becoming.

As the First Nations saying reminds us, this isn’t about losing our power—it’s about finally, fully stepping into it.

Walking the Path Together

If this has resonated with you, if you recognise yourself in the space between what was and what’s coming, I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below.

Please also know that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

Through my mentoring work, I support women who are moving through their own deep transitions—whether that’s perimenopause, career changes, relationship shifts, or the spiritual awakening that accompanies midlife. Having walked this path myself, I understand both the challenges and the gifts that these liminal spaces can offer.

My approach combines practical nervous system regulation tools (like those shared above) with explorations of what wants to emerge through you during this time of change. Together, we create a safe container for you to explore your own becoming, to trust your inner wisdom, and to step more fully into your power.

If you’re curious about working together, I’d love to hear from you. Sometimes the most transformative journeys begin with a simple conversation about where you are and where your soul is calling you to go.