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Sophie Messager

Category: overwhelm

  • Stressed? Overwhelmed? Try grounding.

    Stressed? Overwhelmed? Try grounding.

    If you are finding what’s happening in your life or the world overwhelming, I’m sure you know about breathing and meditation as tools for wellbeing (and you might have tried them and found that they do not work for you) but have you heard about grounding?

    Grounding is simply using techniques to come back into your body, where you can process things better rather than when stuck in the thoughts in your head. You can ground yourself literally, by connecting yourself to the earth, literally, or by visualization or movement. It works because it brings you back to your body, and out of the stressed thoughts in your mind.

    How can you do it?

    • Literal grounding means putting your body in contact with the earth. Grounding is the earthing of our own energy to the energy field of the Earth. There is some really cool science behind it. We know that earthing helps people heal faster, having measurable effects on inflammation, the immune response, wound healing, and prevention and treatment of chronic inflammatory and autoimmune diseases. See this paper for example.  There is also evidence that it reduces stress.
    • If you want to learn more, the earthing movie is fantastic and covers much of the research, some of which really blew my mind. They also have a bunch of articles on the topic.
    • The easiest (and cheapest) way to to earth your body is to put your bare feet on the grass or soil. My favourite way to do it is to do some year round wild swimming, because it provides a deeper, whole body experience.
    • My favourite way to do a full body grounding is wild swimming. I do it year round (about to do my fourth winter) and you can read about that here.
    • If bare feet on the ground or swimming in cold water doesn’t appeal or if you live somewhere where this might be difficult, there are companies selling grounding mats that plug into the earthing part of electric sockets, for example Grounding Mats and Groundology. Some of the published research that demonstrates faster wound healing for example, was done using such mats in a hospital setting.

    Less literal grounding, as in coming back into your body can be achieved in several ways.

    • Using visualization. A simple visualization to achieve it is the tree meditation. It goes like this: Stand up, close your eyes, give your body and mind a quick scan (how do you feel etc). Then imagine that you are a tree. Visualise the tree in as many details as you can. Then, with each out breath, imagine that you are growing your roots deep into the earth. That’s it! do this for a couple of minutes, then scan yourself again. Be prepared to be amazed at the difference!
    • Using mindful movement. For example going for a walk and paying attention to what you see and feel (bonus if it’s in nature, especially somewhere with trees, because forest bathing also has cool published health benefits behind it).
    • Another sure way of bringing yourself back to your body is to put some lively music on and dance for a few minutes. I love 5rhythms dancing and this track, which is only 7 min long, gives you a mini wave like a very short version of a movement meditation class.
    • Do a quick rebozo or scarf self massage! This only takes 2 to 5 min. This really moves the energy in your body and refresh and enliven you!

    Try it! It only takes about 5 minutes to make a difference. If you do try some of these techniques, I’d love to hear about your experience!

     

  • Getting out of overwhelm

    Getting out of overwhelm

    A few years ago I started my journey out of overwhelm. I was overworked and stressed and I didn’t know how to get out of the cycle. I was trying to work harder out of it. It was so bad that I remember stopping to pick some berries on a week day on my way home and feeling guilty because I felt I ought to be working.

    I was stuck into a mindset where my productivity and my worth were mixed up, and I wasn’t even aware of it.

    Luckily I embarked on a coaching programme with Bonny Williams. As part of the programme, Bonny challenged me to spend one hour a week doing something called soft play. The idea of soft play was to spend an hour doing something nourishing and fun, alone.

    At first I struggled to find what to do. Bonny suggested I think about what I enjoyed as a child. I remembered I loved being in nature, build dens, that kind of stuff. I can vividly remember my first soft play: I went for a walk to the local nature reserve, alone, on a week day, when I “should” have been working. I had a lot of stuff to do that and I very nearly didn’t go. But I did, and it felt great and oddly rebellious. And, oddly enough, that day I managed to do everything on my to do list and I felt great.

    Fast forward 3 years, this has become part of my new routine, and had spread new fantastic new habits like year round river swimming, and drumming in the woods and 5 rhythms dancing. I’ve realised this is so important that  days I put the time in nature as the first task on my weekly to do list. And you know what? Magic has happened! I feel a more relaxed, creative and productive than ever. I also have a lot more fun. In fact I’m so elated with the results I’m planning to create a course sharing my experience.

    The bottom line is this: You can cannot get out of the overwhelm created by working hard by working harder. Let me say this again: you cannot get out of overwhelm by working harder.

    Instead, to create spaciousness in your life and more balance with play, you need to let yourself experience that play and spaciousness inside. Once you start experiencing this, all sorts of magic will unfold by itself and you will not look back.

  • January : a time for rest and reflection

    January : a time for rest and reflection

    I’ve just had a lovely catchup with fellow doula Hazel Acland Tree with whom I have fortnightly accountability calls (I can’t recommend doing this enough by the way).

    During our call I expressed how frustrated I am with my desire to go forward and make plans now that we’re at the beginning of the year, and the energy I’m feeling instead, which is quite inward and not at all forward at the moment.

    Whilst chatting to Hazel I had a realisation that the energies right now, during the winter time, are indeed inwards, and that it doesn’t make sense that we are expected to make our yearly plans in January. We ought to make them in spring or summer, when our energy is high, and outwards looking.

    When I was a biology student, I went to a lecture on chronobiology, the science of “when” rather than “why” and “what”. This made so much sense to me and attracted me so much I ended up specialising in it, and doing my PhD and 2 postdocs on the genes the regulate our seasonal reproductive clock.

    I remember during the introduction lecture, the speaker explained that since we are regulated by daylight, our energy is naturally higher in the summer when days are longer, and that in the past, as most people farmed the land, they worked much harder during spring and summer than during the winter months when nothing grew. When school became obligatory, the farmers agreed to send their kids to school but said they’d need them back for the harvest, which is how the tradition of summer holidays started.

    Yet, even in our modern world, we still experience this annual peak and through of energy.

    Like trees losing their leaves and returning their energies inwards before the new growth can occur, we too, during winter, need this inwards and more restful time.

    As I talked about my plans and my frustration in trying to push through, but also about my knowledge that I want to lay down some feelings for the year ahead, meditate and make a vision board before I start getting down to the nitty gritty of what I’m going to do in 2019, my friend suggested very wisely suggested that rather than looking for the fruit I needed to tend to my roots first.

    I loved this very powerful image, especially as our culture is all focused on results, ie the fruits.

    But you can bear no fruits if you do not tend to, or nourish the roots.

    This also reminded me of another powerful story in the (surprisingly spiritual) book “The 7 habits of highly effective people” by Stephen Covey.

    ” Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree.

    “What are you doing?” you ask.

    “Can’t you see?” comes the impatient reply. “I’m sawing down this tree.”

    “You look exhausted!” you exclaim. “How long have you been at it?”

    “Over five hours,” he returns, “and I’m beat! This is hard work.”

    “Well, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that saw?” you inquire. “I’m sure it would go a lot faster.”

    “I don’t have time to sharpen the saw,” the man says emphatically. “I’m too busy sawing!”

    Stephen Covey goes further in saying that

    ” Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual.”

    You can read example of such activities here

    There is true magic in stopping, resting and taking stock and seeing the forest for the trees.

    I have written about this topic before, but today I feel that I have embedded this knowledge at a deeper level.

    So I’m going to take my own counsel today and only attend to what really needs to be done, so I can rest and retreat inside myself a little, so I can tend to my roots.

    I know that doing this will allow for more beautiful flowers and fruits in the future.