I wish I had known how much awe I would feel watching a woman birth her baby.
I wish I had known how much sacredness there is in birth-when the baby has just been born there is this incredible energy in the room-it is so palpable you can almost touch it.
I wish I had known how much my heart would expand and well up and how I would cry with joy and gratitude, on my way back home from a birth.
I wish I had known that I would also cry with frustration on the mother’s behalf when things didn’t go the way she wished.
I wish I had known how much love I would feel for her, how motherly and protective I would feel towards her, like a fierce mama bear.
I wish I had known how humble serving birthing women would make me feel.
I wish I had known how intense and demanding being on call would be, almost like being pregnant and overdue myself.
I wish I had known how high the highs would be and how low the lows would be.
I wish I had known that sometimes being a doula would break me apart, tear my body and my soul apart, and put me back together all at the same time.