Skip to content

The impostor syndrome in the birth world

 

Mask

Do you sometimes suffer from impostor syndrome? Do you worry that you do not know enough, that you haven’t got enough to offer?

I’ve been reminded this week that we all have different levels of knowledge. That others know more than us and that we know more than others. This doesn’t mean that we do not have much to offer. And there is nothing to be gained by belittling each other’s levels of knowledge.

I have suffered from impostor syndrome at every career change in my life.

When I moved from academia to biotech, I suffered from it big time. All I knew was very specific, in depth academic knowledge, and suddenly I felt like a fraud, because my new knowledge was a lot wider and less deep. It took me I think at least a couple of years to shake that. In fact, a similar way to what I wrote in my “head versus hand knowledge” post, it took other people to point it out to me, for me to start acknowledging that what I was doing was worthwhile.

A friend, who had stayed in the academic sector, expressed her awe at the breadth of my knowledge, and another friend drew me this little cartoon he called “the field of knowledge”. It looked like this silly little drawing drawing below : the stick man at the bottom of the pit on the left of the picture is an academic, digging one deep hole. The other little stick men on the pits on the right are digging lots of little, shallower holes, but many more of them. My friend challenged me by saying: “who’s to say that one kind of knowledge is better than the others? Who’s to say that depth is better than breadth?”. This was a light bulb moment and was very grateful to this friend for giving me confidence like this.

drawing

 

Whilst still working as a scientist, I embarked on a women in science mentoring programme. At first, I was assigned a mentor, and it was a very useful, life affirming experience. But a couple of years into the programme I was asked to mentor someone myself. My first reaction was to refuse: I wasn’t qualified or experienced enough. But the programme organiser insisted so I took on a mentee-and you know what? I really enjoyed it, and so did the mentee. I think I did a good job, and I learnt a lot from the process.

Of course I felt the same when I started working an antenatal teacher, not so much as a babywearing consultant, because the profession was brand new at the time in the UK, but quite a lot when I started as a doula, then later on as a workshop facilitator.

I was worried somebody would find out I was very green and call me a fraud.

Now I look back and I think, what a load of crap!

For starters, knowledge takes many forms – not just the academic kind. Self learning and experience aren’t as acknowledged as academic credential in our culture, and intuitive knowledge is totally dismissed.

You can only truly learn your craft by doing it. A bit like when you’ve just got your driving licence, and you find you have to really concentrate at turning the wheel, at using the clutch and looking into the mirrors. When you have had enough practice driving doesn’t feel like a tricky activity at all – in fact you can often drive lost in your thoughts, and not realise that until you have arrived at your destination.

I have learnt a tremendous amount about myself and others, with an incredible level of depth, since I became a doula.

I have learnt many facts, both by reading books, attendance conferences, talking to people. But I have learnt most of all by watching women birth.

I have learnt many skills, both practical and emotional, by again reading, attending conferences, workshops and study days-and I have applied those to the women I have supported.

I have learnt a lot from my lovely, supportive mentor when I was a new doula. She helped me trust myself and grow in my own way.

But mostly I have learnt how to be a doula by being a doula. By watching women labour and give birth and watching how the hospital system work and drawing lessons from it.

And since I became a workshop facilitator I have learnt yet another layer of knowledge which makes my serving of women even better.

I have also learnt that I will never stop learning. And that every birth is different and not to have any preconceived ideas and expectations.

Some coming back to the title of this post, there will always be people who know more and people who know less than you. And that’s OK. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a lot to offer.

If the journey of life is like climbing a mountain, there will always people further up and further down than you.

landscape-mountains-nature-mountain

So whichever ridge of the mountain we are standing on right now, there are people who can benefit from our knowledge and experience.

You can help them climb up, and there are others further up who can help you climb up too.

What matters most is that you help people go up in a way that is right for them, and that you are both honest and humble about your level of knowledge.

By stepping into who we really are and where we are at, we are both acknowledging our own journey and helping other acknowledge theirs too.

 

If you are pregnant and feel drawn to work with me, head over here. If you are a birthworker and this resonates with you- look here.

Sign up for my Newsletter...

3 Comments

  1. Fiona Allen on March 17, 2017 at 7:09 am

    I have just been lead to this blog from your blog entitled ‘Do you find it hard to charge for your services?’. Thank you so very much for both! I am starting my healing and all things Spiritual business, and I am experiencing all of the doubts expressed by you. Your words have uplifted and empowered me. Thank you so very much! Onwards and upwards! ?

  2. Anne Jones on August 9, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    I absolutely love this piece of writing.
    So whichever ridge of the mountain we are standing on right now, there are people who can benefit from our knowledge and experience.
    You can help them climb up, and there are others further up who can help you climb up too.
    Wow! How powerful and so true. I needed to here this today. I really did
    Annie x

    • sophie on August 9, 2018 at 8:43 pm

      THank you for your kind words :-). I’m glad the post was helpful

Leave a Comment





Rebozo techniques & email updates

Sign up below to receive access to FREE videos and booklet with 3 free techniques for using a Rebozo in pregnancy and labour and for my occasional email updates.

FREE Rebozo Techniques

Sign up below to receive access to videos and booklet with 3 free techniques for using a Rebozo in pregnancy and labour.

mindful rebozo

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This